【辉太郎杀G大队】7/17 作业by hdsf2003

hdsf2003UID: 2351462

07-17---------------------------------------

Issue 7

The world has become much clearer and more vivid than ever before because of the emergence of video camera. Some people then claim that this kind of convincing and exact record is more important than traditional written records. At the first glance, it is tempting to agree with the speaker's statement. However, the truth is that written records have many superior merits and cannot be substituted by video record.

First of all, written records can keep many details of events. Historians usually record our history in form of written words. From the words we can learn what happened and what people though in the past. We cannot learn the thought from video. On the contrary, the words compensate such a disadvantage. Most of us have the same feeling when we enter the world of a story that we become the heroin. This is because we following the words and create a vivid but virtual picture in our minds. Hence, written records help to keep much trivial information not only the story process but also the mental movement of people involved.

In addition, written records are more formal than other recording forms. Compared with oral presentation, a government plan or report is better plotted in written words. The public may miss the TV program when our chairman makes a conclusion for government work this year. But the report in form of paper cannot be missed and is easy for the public to check whether the supposed plan has been carried out successfully, then people can decide whether to give more beliefs and supports to government.

Because of the importance of written records, it has been employed in various fields. Taking the law for example, nearly all contents of law, no matter civil law or international law, public law or private law, are written down on paper or books. The reason is simple that we can publish these laws as textbooks and educate our citizens. Another relative instant is about contract. The usual contract we can see is written on paper, for it is clear and direct for both sides who will sign the contract. More importantly, only can formal signatures of both sides make the contract to take effect in law.

We have to admit that video offers us an alternative choice when we come to record something important. Video can record the picture what happens on scene and we can review video even after a few years and recall some precious memories like our marriage and birthdays. Despite video’s significant effect on record forms, the written records have its own distinct advantages and win tremendous popularity in formal fields.

To sum up, video camera truly shows people a completely new world and gives people another choice to record what they want. But, written records are still be used in many key fields which video record can only be served as an assistant method. Sometimes we may combine written records with video together to obtain a better recording effect.

Argument 147


The arguer presents us a seemingly compelling conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games may increase obviously in the following months based on a recent survey of video-game players. Once we make a further analysis, it is easy to find some flaws in his reasoning.

First of all, the survey fails to offer information whether people still indulge in video games. Only video-game players were investigated in this survey, which cannot indicate the current exact situation. It is reasonable for us to suspect that most game players don't play video games any more. Hence, further study should be done.

In addition, even if people are still crazy at video games and new video games are introduced, the sales may not increase for the high demand of computers. As mentioned in the survey, the new games demand the most up-to-date computers. In this case, it is questionable that whether most players are willing to invest on their new computer. If most players don't have so much money, the sales will then face trouble.
                     
Last but not least, the sales may not rise for the wrong plan of advertising campaign. The arguer fails to rule out the possibility that middle aged people enjoy the video games as well, then the Whirlwind may loss a large number of customers when its advertising campaign only directed at people 10 to 25 years old. Hence, it is enlightened to do more investigation about composition of customers before they advertise.

To sum up, the arguer gives us an unwarranted conclusion only based on a recent doubtful survey. To bolster his statement, he has to do further work as follow: (1) checking whether video games is still popular at present;(2) making a survey whether video-game players would like to update their computers after the new games are available on market;(3) making sure their advertisement can attract the most players.

ApplemangoUID: 2661244

The world has become much clearer and more vivid than ever before because of the emergence of video camera. Some people then claim that this kind of convincing and exact record is more important than traditional written records. At the first glance, it is tempting to agree with the speaker's statement. However, the truth is that written records have many superior merits and cannot be substituted by video record.

First of all, written records can keep many details of events. Historians usually record our history in form of written words. From the words we can learn what happened and what people though in the past. We cannot learn the thought from video. On the contrary, the words compensate such a disadvantage. Most of us have the same feeling that when we enter the world of a story we become the heroin. This is because we follow the words and create a vivid but virtual picture in our minds. Hence, written records help to keep much trivial information not only the story process but also the mental movement of people involved.

In addition, written records are more formal than other recording forms. Compared with oral presentation, a government plan or report is better plotted in written words. The public may miss the TV program when our chairman makes a conclusion for government work this year. But the report in form of paper cannot be missed and is easy for the public to check whether the supposed plan has been carried out successfully, then people can decide whether to give more beliefs and supports to government. (我觉得这一段的论据没有说服力，可以在报纸上看到信息，不代表written work 比video更加formal)

Because of the importance (怎样的importance?) of written records, it has been employed in various fields. Taking the law for example, nearly all contents of law, no matter civil law or international law, public law or private law, are written down on paper or books. The reason is simple that we can publish these laws as textbooks and educate our citizens. Another relative instance is about contract. The usual contract we can see is written on paper, for it is clear and direct for both sides who will sign the contract. More importantly, only can formal signatures of both sides make the contract to take effect in law.(这一句貌似是画蛇添足)
（最好添加一个转折的副词或者转折句，因为这里是转说video的好处）We have to admit that video offers us an alternative choice when we come to record something important. Video can record the picture what happens on scene and we can review video even after a few years and recall some precious memories like our marriage and birthdays. Despite video’s significant effect on record forms, the written records have its own distinct advantages and win tremendous popularity in formal fields.

To sum up, video camera truly shows people a completely new world and gives people another choice to record what they want. But, written records are still be used in many key fields which video record can only be served as an assistant method. Sometimes we may combine written records with video together to obtain a better recording effect.（结尾的意思是正确的，但是你通篇都是着重讲written work，是不是把第一二句顺序掉一下？）




通篇围绕written work的好处来说明video不会比written更重要，各个论点很清楚。
唯有不足的是有些论据不够有力。

ApplemangoUID: 2661244

The arguer presents us a seemingly compelling conclusion that the sales of Whirlwind video games may increase obviously in the following months based on a recent survey of video-game players. Once we make a further analysis, it is easy to find some flaws in his reasoning.

First of all, the survey fails to offer information whether people still indulge in video games. Only video-game players were investigated in this survey, which cannot indicate the current exact situation. It is reasonable for us to suspect that most game players don't play video games any more.
Hence, further study should be done.句子再扩充长一点

In addition, even if people are still crazy at video games and new video games are introduced, the sales may not increase for the high demand of computers. As mentioned in the survey, the new games demand the most up-to-date computers. In this case, it is questionable that whether most players are willing to invest in new computer. If most players don't have so much money, the sales will then face trouble. 这一句有点问题，最好点出他们没钱，导致每人买游戏，才会导致销量下降
                     
Last but not least, the sales may not rise for the wrong plan (是不是太主观了一点，最好去掉) of advertising campaign. The arguer fails to rule out the possibility that middle aged people enjoy the video games as well, then the Whirlwind may loss a large number of customers when its advertising campaign only directed at people 10 to 25 years old. Hence, it is enlightened to do more investigation about composition of customers before they advertise.

To sum up, the arguer gives us an unwarranted conclusion only based on a recent doubtful survey. To bolster his statement, he has to do further work as follow: (1) checking whether video games is still popular at present;(2) making a survey whether video-game players would like to update their computers after the new games are available on market;(3) making sure their advertisement can attract the most players.

逻辑没有问题，模版用得也很好，需要注意一些细节上的漏洞。
句子可以再长一点。