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总评:例子的确很新,但韩国那个例子的论证太仓促了
208"The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
人们的眼神穿着和动作都揭示了他们的态度和兴趣。你可以透过观察一个社会中人们的外貌和举止来认识该社会的理念和价值观。
The speaker makes a threshold claim that the way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests, then conclude that by observing the appearance and behavior of people, we can tell a lot about a society’s ideas and values. However in my() view the speaker’s threshold and ultimate claims are both specious. In most cases, people’s appearance and behaviors cannot reveal both their inner world and the mainstream value of a society.
Admittedly, in some circumstances, a society’s ideas and value can be partly expressed by the appearance and behavior of its people. After all, generally speaking the way people look, dress, and act should accord with the mainstream value of the society; otherwise, they will at the risk of being mocked or discriminated by most of people in the same society(省掉可不是不可以吧). For instance, most Korean people, especially the women cherish the facelift, by which can give them a more attractive appearance. According to the data collected form an authoritative survey agency in Korea, at least 75 percent of women in Korea have taken this kind of surgeries. On one hand, this fact reveals the people’s interests and attitudes that they care about their personal appearance very much. On the other hand, it also tells much about the Korean society. We can conclude that in a male dominated society(前面还是先说一下韩国是个什么样国家。我听说美国人以为世界就只有美国和其他国家,其他国家什么样都是不知道的,还有最好垫出他们打扮的目的就是讨好人家), the woman need to please their spouses or bosses by making themselves prettier.
Although this statement seems sound, I find the threshold claim internally illogical. In my view the way people look, dress, and act cannot necessarily reveal their interests and attitudes. After all, the appearance and behavior of a person is just external and can be decorated, while the true means to understand the person’s interest and attitude should also rely on communication and study in the long run. For instance, after Einstein became famous, the king of Belgium once invited him to his palace. However the driver sent by the King did not find Einstein in the railway station. It is because that in the driver’s mind, the most famous scientist in the world should well-dressed and good-mannered, while actually Einstein just wore an old and dirty raincoat and a pair of worn-down shoe. Consider, can we judge Einstein’s thinking also indelicate and disordered merely by his casual even sloppy attire? Of course not. Therefore, in some circumstance, the way people look, dress and act may be deceptive thereby cannot truly reveal people’s attitudes and interests.(不错)
Furthermore as for the ultimate claim, the speaker also unfairly assumes that there is a causa(?没说,只是说有联系)l relationship between a society’s values and the appearance and behavior of its people. In some cases the appearance and behavior merely reflects the personal interests rather than that of overall society. Paragons such as the Virgina Tech Shootings and Holocaust Memorial Museum shooting, comes immediately to my mind(这句好像没什么用,考试时间紧张,尽量省下时间来比较好吧?). Cho, the criminals of the massacre in 2007, whose behavior is kind of anti-society, yet, can only reveal his own ferocity and ruthlessness, rather than reflect the America’s mainstream value and ideas. Similar, Brunn, a white supremacist and holocaust murderer, whose act also cannot prove the whole America society is unequal and full of discrimination. Therefore, similar to the individual, if people want to understand a society, they should study its history, culture and other factors. By studying American history, people will find out American people have a long history of struggling for their freedom and impartiality and thereby the society tends to value more on selflessness and racial equality. Accordingly, only by observing the people’s appearance and behaviors may miss the really point.
在我看来,楼主这一段讲得似乎是个体与一般,但是文章中讲得似乎是群体的举止外貌和群体的核心理念及价值体系。不过这个我也不是特别懂,而且要写的话也不怎么容易。而且这段讲到了认知历史,可能把这句加到中心句会和结尾更呼应些
In sum, although a society’s ideas and value can be partly expressed by the appearance and behavior of its people. However undue emphasizing it may be counterproductive, even opposite the real situation. In my view the better ways to achieve this goal is to communicate with its people and study more about the society’s history and culture.
1# bingfei09 |
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