模考第三天-ARGUMENT10

wisleUID: 2578616

TOPIC: ARGUMENT10 - The following appearedin a letter to the editor of a Batavianewspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that thenumber of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than itwas 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk atthe local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 pergallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on anapparently increased supply of milk, the Bataviagovernment should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation isnecessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk forconsumers."
WORDS: 451
TIME: 超时！！！
DATE: 2009-8-7下午 02:23:24

下午模考之作，晚上改稿
=======================================================

The arguerconclude that the government should regulate the milk price to ensure bothlower price and an adequate supply through the reasoning that the increasingprice of milk and the number of the dairy farms. However it turns out that, iflook critically, the feeble buttresses weaken the conclusion.

First, the centralconcept of this reasoning is that the increasing price and the number of dairyfarms bring not only a big but also an excessive profit to the farmers.Actually, it is reasonable to question that whether the increasing price cometogether with an excessive profit. Possibly, the cost of dairy is increasing asthe inflation in the raw material market. The cost of food for cows increases,for example, by two dollars for producing per gallon milk. So the increase by1.5 dollars in price is still not enough for the cost. Besides, the increasingnumber of dairy farms doesn't mean that the supply of milk arises up. Maybe thesupply of per farm is going down as change of weather, such as the increasingtemperate, which is disadvantage for producing milk. So the 25 percent cannotillustrate the increase in total supply. As long as these concerns can beclarified, the assertion is more defensible.

Next, ourattentions focus on the supply and demand in the milk market. Even though thesupply increases as the increasing dairy farms, but the practical demand maybeincreases more than the supply. That is to say that the gap between supply anddemand is increasing but decreasing or disappearing. It is no doubtful why theprice of milk goes up. As the basic principle of economics, the price goes upwith the demand when demand is over supply. Another point worth pondering isthe excessive profit. Without compared with other fields, it is not rational toconclude the milk farmers have excessive profits.

The ultimate stepof my writing is to analyze the result of the regulation of price. The illationthat the regulation of price will render the lower price and abounded supply ofmilk is open to question. Consequently, as the principle of economics-thecorrelation between supply and price is negative, cutting price will bring ascarcity of milk supply instead of adequate supply. Inevitable increase in theprice follows as the scarcity of milk. Both lower price and adequate supply aregone with the wind. (注：gone with the wind是我们微观经济学老师最喜欢讲的)

Simply put, theevidences cited in this argument are not competent for this conclusion. Afterall, an incorrect conclusion of the relegation of milk will bring an unexpectedloss rather than gain a big cake for the public. Once the dairy farms bankruptbecause of this incorrect policy, the milk supply will seriously.

alex8937UID: 2643749

TOPIC: ARGUMENT10 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure both lower prices and an adequate supply of milk for consumers."
WORDS: 451          TIME: 超时！！！          DATE: 2009-8-7 下午 02:23:24

The arguer conclude that the government should regulate the milk price to ensure both lower price and an adequate supply through the reasoning that(这里语法好像有问题) the increasing price of milk and the number of the dairy farms. However it turns out that, if look critically, the feeble buttresses weaken the conclusion.

First, the central concept of this reasoning is that the increasing price and the number of dairy farms bring not only a big but also an excessive profit to the farmers. Actually, it is reasonable to question that whether the increasing price come together with an excessive profit. Possibly, the cost of dairy is increasing as the inflation in the raw material market. The cost of food for cows increases, for example, by two dollars for producing per gallon milk. So the increase by 1.5 dollars in price is still not enough for the cost. Besides, the increasing number of dairy farms doesn't mean that the supply of milk arises up. Maybe the supply of per farm is going down as change of weather（with the change of weather）, such as the increasing temperate (temperature), which is disadvantage for producing milk. So the 25 percent cannot illustrate the increase in total supply. As long as these concerns can be clarified, the assertion is more defensible.

Next, our attentions focus on the supply and demand in the milk market. Even though the supply increases as the increasing dairy farms (with the increasing number of dairy farms), but the practical demand maybe increases more than the supply. That is to say that the gap between supply and demand is (not) increasing but decreasing or disappearing. It is no(t) doubtful why the price of milk goes up. As the basic principle of economics, the price goes up with the demand when demand is over supply. Another point worth(s) pondering is the excessive profit. Without (being) compared with other fields, it is not rational to conclude the milk farmers have excessive profits.

The ultimate step of my writing is to analyze the result of the regulation of price. The illation that the regulation of price will render the lower price and abounded supply of milk is open to question. Consequently, as the principle of economics-the correlation between supply and price is negative, cutting price will bring a scarcity of milk supply instead of adequate supply. Inevitable increase in the price follows as the scarcity of milk. Both lower price and adequate supply are gone with the wind. (注：gone with the wind是我们微观经济学老师最喜欢讲的)

Simply put, the evidences cited in this argument are not competent for this conclusion. After all, an incorrect conclusion of the relegation of milk will bring an unexpected loss rather than gain a big cake for the public. Once the dairy farms bankrupt because of this incorrect policy, the milk supply will seriously (好像没写完).

总的来说 不错了 最后一个攻击点很不错
注意些小的细节 会更好
此外该topic还有一个攻击点：
EFM的牛奶价格不能代表全国，而且10年前后的价格没有可比性
以上建议进个人观点 仅供参考
加油！！

By the way, 帮我也看下吧
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-993528-1-1.html

wisleUID: 2578616

2# alex8937

帮你的作文改好啦！
谢谢你的修改，学习了~！

alex8937UID: 2643749

也谢谢修改
不过当中还有些不明白
有空能过来指点一下么
这里是链接：https://bbs.gter.net/thread-993528-2-1.html 3# wisle