2009 进军美利坚作文组 wondersmiths2第四次作业 8.18

wondersmiths2UID：2609756

8.18 同意或不同意：老師的報酬應該根據學生的表現決定。

It is widely accepted that teachers are recognized as human being’s soul engineers in our society. As an old Chinese saying goes, “what is the job of teachers? It is to impart people knowledge and to resolve people’s confusions.” But when it comes to the question: whether or not should we decide the teachers’ salaries according to the achievements of their students? Some people may hold the view that a teacher should take the responsibility of poor achievements of students because helping students make progress is natural duty of a teacher. While others may point out that it is not fair for teachers since there are a lot of factors influencing the achievements of students such as parents not only the teachers’ work. In my opinion, however, we should address this issue depending on different circumstances.

First of all, in different stages teachers’ jobs have distinct characteristics. For instance, in primary school or even high school, mostly teachers’ major work should be to elaborate the subjects of courses, monitor students to work hard and encourage them to gain high grades in the exams. In contrast, if you have attended colleges, it shouldn’t be surprising that some famous professors only need to take good care of their projects and academic researches while the teaching work maybe merely occupy a little part of their work. This is because that the major work of colleges’ teacher is to do researches and establish more academic accomplishments. So in this case, we cannot conclude that the achievements of students should be the dominate factor of teachers’ salaries, at least for college teachers.

Moreover, the achievements of students not only are related to teachers’ work, but also the students’ hard work and their family atmosphere. If a student doesn’t attend classrooms and always like to pay computer games, if a student’s family is so poor that he or she cannot afford the textbooks and notebooks, if a student’ parents are obsessed with alcohol or gambling and even they often beat the student for no reason, how can a teacher guarantee that this kind of student can obtain good achievements? Additionally, the number of students of a class in China usually can be fifty or even more, so if you are a teacher, can you give a promise that every student in your class can be an outstanding student.

Of course, some maybe argue that we can take advantage of this policy to motivate teachers to work hard and make them come up with some high creative thoughts which can help students to learn more effectively. Indeed, it can make those outcomes happen to some extents, but it also probably exerts a negative influence on the teachers’ recruiting since a lot of people choose to be a teacher for the cause of the stability and reliability of this occupation.

In conclusion, taking all aspects into consideration, it is not wise to decide the teachers’ salaries only according to the students’ achievements, which not only can exert a disastrous influence on some teachers’ lives, but also have few impacts on students’ studies.

gy0510150556UID：2546647

It is widely accepted that teachers are recognized as human being’s soul engineers in our society. As an old Chinese saying goes, “what is the job of teachers? It is to impart people knowledge and to resolve people’s confusions.” But when it comes to the question: whether or not should we decide the teachers’ salaries according to the achievements of their students? Some people may hold the view that a teacher should take the responsibility of poor achievements of students because helping students make progress is natural duty of a teacher. While others may point out that it is not fair for teachers since there are a lot of factors influencing the achievements of students such as parents not only the teachers’ work. In my opinion, however, we should address this issue depending on different circumstances你下文就正文第一段是分情况说的.弱弱的说一句，你的开头好长啊$ v0 M  F7 ]3 B$ I

First of all, in different stages teachers’ jobs have distinct characteristics. For instance, in primary school or even high school, mostly teachers’ major work should be to elaborate the subjects of courses, monitor students to work hard and encourage them to gain high grades in the exams. In contrast, if you have attended colleges, it shouldn’t be surprising that some famous professors only need to take good care of （devote to 好些）their projects and academic researches while the teaching work maybe merely occupy a little part of their work. This is because that the major work of colleges’ teacher is to do researches and establish more academic accomplishments. So in this case, we cannot conclude that the achievements of students should be the dominate factor of teachers’ salaries, at least for college teachers.逻辑链是大学，professor的职责主要做研究，teaching是一小部分工作，后面应加上大学生依靠自身的规划，自律，努力而取得成就，所以后面加你的总结。（否则只说教授的teaching比例不大，但不能反推学生的成就不是教授造成的，角度不同）

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Moreover, the achievements of students not only are related to teachers’ work, but also the students’ hard work and their family atmosphere. If a student doesn’t attend classrooms and always like to pay（play） computer games, if a student’s family is so poor that he or she cannot afford the textbooks and notebooks, if a student’ parents are obsessed with alcohol or gambling and even they often beat the student for no reason, how can a teacher guarantee that this kind of student can obtain good achievements?（不错，很流畅） Additionally, the number of students of a class in China usually can be （up to）fifty or even more, so if you are a teacher, can you give a promise that every student in your class can be an outstanding student.

Of course, some maybe argue that we can take advantage of this policy to motivate teachers to work hard and make them come up with some high（high不要） creative thoughts which can help students to learn more effectively. Indeed, it can make those outcomes happen to some extents, but it also probably exerts a negative influence on the teachers’ recruiting since a lot of people choose to be a teacher for the cause of the stability and reliability of this occupation（按学生表现给酬也不影响教师的稳定性和可靠性啊，赫赫，要不学我，说老师逼学生追求高分啦）.

In conclusion, taking all aspects into consideration, it is not wise to decide the teachers’ salaries only according to the students’ achievements, which not only can exert a disastrous influence on some teachers’ lives, but also have few impacts on students’ studies（对学生还是有影响的吧，赫赫，以老师的角度说就好）.结尾最好综合正文做个总结，据说老美没时间了就看结尾。
in a word 语言运用能力很棒，其他是些小毛病，加油

ly8768UID：2452066

It is widely accepted that teachers are recognized as human being’s soul engineers in our society. As an old Chinese saying goes, “what is the job of teachers? It is to impart people knowledge and to resolve people’s confusions.” But when it comes to the question: whether or not should we decide the teachers’ salaries according to the achievements of their students? Some people may hold the view that a teacher should take the responsibility of poor achievements of students because helping students make progress is natural duty of a teacher. While others may point out that it is not fair for teachers since there are a lot of factors influencing the achievements of students such as parents not only the teachers’ work. In my opinion, however, we should address this issue depending on different circumstances.

这个开头也太长了…

First of all, in different stages teachers’ jobs have distinct characteristics. For instance, in primary school or even high school, mostly(most) teachers’ major work should be(should be 用is 就好了) to elaborate the subjects of courses, monitor students to work hard and encourage them to gain high grades in the exams. In contrast(这里没有相反的意思，最多是个转折), if you have attended colleges, it shouldn’t(作文不要连写should not) be surprising that some famous professors only need to take good care of their projects and academic researches while the teaching work maybe merely occupy a little part of their work. This is because that the major work of colleges’ teacher is to do researches and establish(建立学术成果?achieve) more academic accomplishments. So in this case, we cannot conclude that the achievements of students should be the dominate factor of teachers’ salaries, at least for college teachers.

Moreover, the achievements of students not only are related to teachers’ work, but also the students’ hard work and their family atmosphere(家庭环境，还是直接用family). If a student doesn’t attend classrooms and always like to pay(play) computer games, if a student’s family is so poor that he or she cannot afford the textbooks and notebooks, if a student’ parents are obsessed with alcohol or gambling and even they often beat the student for no reason, how can a teacher guarantee that this kind of student can obtain good achievements? Additionally, the number of students of a class in China usually can be fifty or even more, so if you are a teacher, can you give a promise that every student in your class can be an outstanding student.(疑问句还是不要用you的好)

Of course, some maybe argue that we can take advantage of this policy to motivate teachers to work hard and make them come up with some high creative thoughts which can help students to learn more effectively. Indeed, it can make those outcomes happen to some extents, but it also probably exerts a negative influence on the teachers’ recruiting since a lot of people choose to be a teacher for the cause of the stability and reliability of this occupation.

In conclusion, taking all aspects into consideration, it is not wise to decide the teachers’ salaries only according to the students’ achievements, which not only can exert a disastrous influence on some teachers’ lives, but also have few impacts on students’ studies.

恩，总体写挺不错的，只是第二个论点的排比条件稍微有些牵强。