issue154 熊熊组第？（不记得了）作业~from熊熊~互拍！

sebarinaUID：2108158

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早上就写完了~算是模考吧~觉得没脸放上来~
拖到现在
反正都写了不是~大家要拍狠拍吧~~
留链接~回拍！
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Must parents be involved in the local schools because of the importance of children's education, as speaker asserts? I strongly agree with the assertion, not only because of the importance of education but also because education can benefit from both professional educators and parents, especially when they can combined together.

To begin with, education focuses on a group--children--who are acceptors at most times and will be the constructors of future society, which render the education substantial importance. As we know, what a society will be can be seen from children's development. If they do not have sufficient education, they will know little about how to construct future society, which makes the development of society stagnant. Think about some poverty areas, and we will find the inferior conditions are probably because of poor education rather than other factors. Without enough education, people do not know how to improve their life--they possibly earn little, destroy the environment and be unfriendly to each other. Thus, it is quite correct that the importance of education needs more groups to attend children’s education.

However, the different features of different educators also result in the emphasis on parents’ participation. On the one hand, I should concede that the importance of professional educators is significant. Professional educators could provide systematic education to children, which could not be achieved by most parents. In the first place, teachers have adequate knowledge of some certain areas, and school makes these teachers with different knowledge together, to give a various selection. It is difficult for other groups to provide such space for education. In the second place, the educators from school are skillful and experienced. They may know when students should learn basic knowledge, and when they should learn furthermore.

On the other hand, although the professional educator can provide skillful and experienced education for children, the merit of parents' education cannot be neglected. We should acknowledge that parents are more familiar with students than teachers. Initially, the former education before school is accomplished by parents. It is parents who teach children basic skills to understand the world, and it is also parents who know more about the special ability and potential tendency of children. Sometimes children's pattern of thinking is influenced significantly by parents rather than teacher, because parents enlighten the initial study talents of children. And sometimes children's special ability can be caught by parents in daily life, even from a tiny distinct action. Mozart, whose father noticed his sensitivity about notes and melodies, was lead to music palace, and achieved great success. We can hardly imagine in a class composed of 20 or 30 students, a child’s special ability can be found by teachers who are distracted by so many other children. Therefore, the advantage of parents’ familiarity with their children and inefficiency of professional educators’ separate attention with each student, make the participant of parents necessary.

In addition, from what is mentioned above, we can see deduce that, if education's two aspects--parents and schools--combine, there may be great contribution to education. We can imagine the benefit brought by the combination: each student has adequate professional education and he or she also improves special ability.

In conclusion, it is true that the importance of education calls for every social group to make endeavor. Without the professional educators, children cannot acquire the knowledge systematically, and professionally. Without family concern, children's special talent could not be paid enough attention. Therefore, not only the importance of education but also the distinction of different educators makes the combination of family and school significant. Further, the best way of education is as mentioned—the combination of parents and professional educators.

dapopiUID：191236

占位子
等一会儿拍

这篇我也正在改

sosoUID：194270

Must parents and communities?? be involved in the local schools because of the importance of children's education, as speaker asserts? I strongly agree with the assertion, not only because of the importance of education but also because education can benefit from both professional educators and parents, especially when they can combined together.总是招牌的疑问开头,不妨试试其它的啊.题目中的communities好象没有提到

To begin with, education focuses on a group--children--who are acceptors at most times and will be the constructors of future society, which render the education substantial importance. As we know, what a society will be can be seen from children's development. If they do not have sufficient education, they will know little about how to construct future society, which makes the development of society stagnant. Think about some poverty areas, and we will find the inferior conditions are probably because of poor education rather than other factors. Without enough education, people do not know how to improve their life--they possibly earn little, destroy the environment and be unfriendly to each other. Thus, it is quite correct that the importance of education needs more groups to attend children’s education.

However, the different features of different educators also result in the emphasis on parents’ participation.这个观点我没从论证中看出来 On the one hand, I should concede that the importance of professional educators is significant. Professional educators could provide systematic education to children, which could not be achieved by most parents. In the first place, teachers have adequate knowledge of some certain areas, and school makes these teachers with different knowledge together, to give a various selectionvarious selections. It is difficult for other groups to provide such space for education. In the second place, the educators from school are skillful and experienced. They may know when students should learn basic knowledge, and when they should learn furthermore说further the study 好一些吧.

On the other hand, although the professional educator can provide skillful and experienced education for children, the merit of parents' education cannot be neglected. We should acknowledge that parents are more familiar with students than teachers. Initially, the former education before school is accomplished by parents. It is parents who teach children basic skills to understand the world, and it is also parents who know more about the special ability and potential tendency of children. Sometimes children's pattern of thinking is influenced significantly by parents rather than teacher, because parents enlighten the initial study talents of children. And sometimes children's special ability can be caught by parents in daily life, even from a tiny distinct action. Mozart, whose father noticed his sensitivity about notes and melodies, was lead to music palace, and achieved great success. We can hardly imagine in a class composed of 20 or 30 students, a child’s special ability can be found by teachers who are distracted by so many other children. Therefore, the advantage of parents’ familiarity with their children and inefficiency of professional educators’ separate attention with each student, make the participant of parents necessary.

In addition, from what is mentioned above, we can see deducededuction that, if education's two aspects--parents and schools--combine, there may be great contribution to education. We can imagine the benefit brought by the combination: each student has adequate professional education and he or she also improves special ability. 这一段根本没展开么!不打算展开的话觉得不要独立成段比较好

In conclusion, it is true that the importance of education calls for every social group to make endeavor. Without the professional educators, children cannot acquire the knowledge systematically, and professionally. Without family concern, children's special talent could not be paid enough attention. Therefore, not only the importance of education but also the distinction of different educators makes the combination of family and school significant. Further, the best way of education is as mentioned—the combination of parents and professional educators. 结尾总结写的不错

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总体来说想找你的语法错误越来越难了.
不过这篇文章的论证感觉除了2.2以外深度都不大够.继续努力

看看偶的issue154

neo_athrunUID：2111270

嗯哼~没列提纲哦

Must parents be involved in the local schools because of the importance of children's education, as speaker asserts? I strongly agree with the assertion, not only because of the importance of education but also because education can benefit from both professional educators and parents, especially when they canbe combined together.社会呢？

To begin with, education focuses on a group--children--who are acceptors at most times and will be the constructors of future society, which render the education substantial importance. As we know, what a society will be can be seen from children's development. If they do not have sufficient education, they will know little about how to construct future society, which makes the development of society stagnant. Think about some poverty areas, and we will find the inferior conditions are probably because of poor education rather than other factors. Without enough education, people do not know how to improve their life--they possibly earn little, destroy the environment and be unfriendly to each other. 这个例子相当于把前面的展开来说了Thus, it is quite correct that the importance of education needs more groups to attend children’s education.讲了教育的重要性，有点车轱辘:p

However, the different features of different educators also result in the emphasis on parents’ participation. On the one hand, I should concede that the importance of professional educators is significant. Professional educators could provide systematic education to children, which could not be achieved by most parents. In the first place, teachers have adequate knowledge of some certain areas, and school makes these teachers with different knowledge together, to give a various selection. It is difficult for other groups to provide such space for education. In the second place, the educators from school are skillful and experienced. They may know when students should learn basic knowledge, and when they should learn furthermore.何时学基础知识何时学……这个解释不好，觉得没扣上前面的有经验

On the other hand, although the professional educator can provide skillful and experienced education for children, the merit of parents' education cannot be neglected. We should acknowledge that parents are more familiar with students than teachers. Initially, the former education before school is accomplished by parents. It is parents who teach children basic skills to understand the world, and it is also parents who know more about the special ability and potential tendency of children. Sometimes children's pattern of thinking is influenced significantly by parents rather than teacher, because parents enlighten the initial study talents of children. And sometimes children's special ability can be caught by parents in daily life, even from a tiny distinct action. Mozart, whose father noticed his sensitivity about notes and melodies, was lead to music palace, and achieved great success. We can hardly imagine in a class composed of 20 or 30 students, a child’s special ability can be found by teachers who are distracted by so many other children.有点绝对吧~ Therefore, the advantage of parents’ familiarity with their children and inefficiency of professional educators’ separate attention with each student, make the participant of parents necessary.

In addition, from what is mentioned above, we can see deduce that, if education's two aspects--parents and schools--combine, there may be great contribution to education. We can imagine the benefit brought by the combination: each student has adequate professional education and he or she also improves special ability.末尾段提一下就可了吧？

In conclusion, it is true that the importance of education calls for every social group to make endeavor. Without the professional educators, children cannot acquire the knowledge systematically, and professionally. Without family concern, children's special talent could not be paid enough attention. Therefore, not only the importance of education but also the distinction of different educators makes the combination of family and school significant. Further, the best way of education is as mentioned—the combination of parents and professional educators. 总结挺好的，不过~社会呢？？

我的

foreveraUID：202035

Must 改成should在感情色彩上好一点 parents be involved in the local schools because of the importance of children's education, as speaker asserts? I strongly agree with the assertion, not only because of the importance of education but also because education can benefit from both professional educators and parents, especially when they can combined together.

To begin with, education focuses on a group--children-- 这2个连字符用的不是太恰当who are acceptors at most times and will be the constructors of future society, which render the education substantial importance. 可以考虑把2个定从转变一下形式As we know, what a society will be like?can be seen from children's development. If they do not have sufficient education, they will know little about how to construct future society, which makes the development of society stagnant 好词. Think about some    poverty 词性?areas, and we will find the inferior conditions are probably because of poor education rather than other factors. Without enough education, people do not know how to improve their life--they possibly earn little, destroy the environment and be unfriendly to each other. Thus, it is quite correct that the importance of education needs more groups to attend children’s education.感觉论证的有点太浅了.

However, the different features of different educators also result in the emphasis on parents’ participation. 前面的different后面怎么之后一个parent了On the one hand, I should concede that the importance of professional educators is significant. Professional educators could provide systematic education to children, which could not be achieved by most parents. In the first place, teachers have adequate knowledge of some certain areas, and school makes these teachers with different knowledge together, to give a various selection. It is difficult for other groups to provide such space for education. In the second place, the educators from school are skillful and experienced. 这些skill和experience应该是知道how而不是when吧They may know when students should learn basic knowledge, and when they should learn furthermore.

On the other hand, although the professional educator can provide skillful and experienced education for children, the merit of parents' education cannot be neglected. We should acknowledge that parents are more familiar with students than teachers. Initially, the former education before school is accomplished by parents. It is parents who teach children basic skills to understand the world, and it is also parents who know more about the special ability and potential tendency of children. Sometimes children's pattern of thinking is influenced significantly by parents rather than teacher, because parents enlighten the initial study talents of children. And sometimes children's special ability can be caught by parents in daily life, even from a tiny distinct action. Mozart, whose father noticed his sensitivity about notes and melodies, was lead to music palace, and achieved great success. We can hardly imagine in a class composed of 20 or 30 students, a child’s special ability can be found by teachers who are distracted by so many other 去掉好一点 children. Therefore, the advantage of parents’ familiarity with their children and inefficiency of professional educators’ separate attention with each student, make the participant of parents necessary.

In addition, from what is mentioned above, we can see deduce that, if education's two aspects--parents and schools--combine, there may be great contribution to education. We can imagine the benefit brought by the combination: each student has adequate professional education and he or she also improves special ability.

In conclusion, it is true that the importance of education calls for every social group to make endeavor很好的词. Without the professional educators, children cannot acquire the knowledge systematically, and professionally. Without family concern, children's special talent could not be paid enough attention. Therefore, not only the importance of education but also the distinction of different educators makes the combination of family and school significant. Further, the best way of education is as mentioned—the combination of parents and professional educators. 结尾太长点了..


总体很不错,只是一开始论述的有点太浅显了,而且总感觉段落之间的连接有点突兀.不过具体怎么改我也说不上来..自己慢慢体会一下...也许是我感觉错了...HOHO


俺的144:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=318644

vickycy6UID：2107893

我今天刚好也写的这篇,
看了你的文章，觉得我的思路好象跟你的侧重点完全不一样啊。为什么你没有提到题目所说的community呢？ 我着重是说家长和社会的参与是有必要的，当然看了你的才觉得原来还可以这样从家长对孩子的培养、发现来讲。。。
我觉得你写好长哦，我怎么就一点写不长呢？45分钟能写这么多？！好羡慕啊~~~

vickycy6UID：2107893

我现在文章实在都不好意思发上来，等改了再看看吧5555555555555555

vickycy6UID：2107893

我的文章改好了
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=320489
看看吧
呵呵
另外我觉得你的文章都有好多人改哦
:p

[ Last edited by vickycy6 on 2005-8-16 at 21:33 ]