xiaomeiding 的作文练习

xiaomeidingUID：3087416

8月1日 20090227NA A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.

In recent years, job becomes a popular word. We hear it on television news about how many people are despaired to look for a job; we also hear it on president or governor competition speech about how to creating jobs. We all need jobs, objectively, to support our life. When it comes to what kinds of job a person will want to choose, however, would be more subjective. From my perspective, I  think that a high paid job with less vacation time  is better than a low paid job with more vacation time due to it provides enough money to pay bills, more time to spend with family instead of traveling and enough fundings to fulfill our personal goal in an efficiently way.  

To begin with,living in this real world, we need money to pay our bills. Bills such as car insurance, electricity bills, gas bills will certainly come and to lay quietly at our mail box without asking. If I have a high paid job,for example, I will not be scared to open my mail box at the end of each month. Also, I am under mortgage since I bought a large house in New York last year. A low paid job will definitely put me in a position that with no money to pay the mortgage, as a result, I will face home foreclosure and have bad credit history, which will also affect my future investment. Maybe no bank will be willing to lend money to me.

Even though I like to take vacation, I have to spend time with my family especially my mother.  Ever since my father died five months ago, my mother always feels lonely and unhappy and eventually she is diagnosed depression. The doctor told me what my mother mostly need is to receive love from family members especially from her children by spending time with them and take the high cost counseling treatment. So, with a high paid job, I will be able to pay her treatment fee; with a less vacation time, I can spend time with her more often. It makes me feel I am good child taking care of my parent.

In addition, in the recently five years, I want to set up my own landscape architecture company in German which needs a plenty of fundings and working skills. Working at a high paid job position and having less vacation time means that I will accumulate enough money and grasp working experience and field skills in a short time compared to the a low paid job with more relaxing time.

For those reasons, I believe that a high paid job with less vacation time will be better than a low paid job with more vacation time.












独立部分

In the listening material, a part-time buzzer named Bill, who also a student, argues that the reading passage about the attracting buzzer is misleading and gives a wrong impression.

The first point that Bill uses to rebut the reading is that the buzzers does tell the truth about the buzzed products ,different than the paid advertisement actors who simply read the line, because they experienced the products and they really considered the products are good. That is why company hire them to be the buzzers which is differs from the reading passage states that the buzzers get paid to only praise the product by giving people inaccurate information about the buzzed product. He also gives his buzzing phone services experience as an example to support his first point.

Another point Bill opposes the reading is that the listeners do not always believe what they heard is truth from his own experience. Bill claims that people ask a lot of questions about the product he buzzed such as price, services and how long he use the product. People will not buy the product if he does not provide the right answers. While in the reading, the author says that people will less caution and critically thinking about the buzzers' endorsements which will harm consumers' interests.

Finally, Bill’s third opinion is that the companies will be unable to recruit buzzers if the products are bad. He mentions his working experience as an example to show that people will like the phone services he used. As a result, he think people will have a good experience by using buzzed products. Eventually, those who used the buzzed products will become more trustful of and open to people which contractually with the point the author says there will be an bad effect on social relationships due to the awareness of the buzzers with a hidden agenda.
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草莓刨冰UID：3141036

In recent years, job becomes a popular word. We hear it on television news about how many people are despaired to look for a job; we also hear it on president or governor competition speech about how to creating jobs. We all need jobs, objectively, to support our life. When it comes to what kinds of job a person will want to choose, however, would be more subjective. From my perspective, I think that a high paid job with less vacation time is better than a low paid job with more vacation time due to it provides enough money to pay bills, more time to spend with family instead of traveling and enough fundings to fulfill our personal goal in an efficiently way. (没太看懂最后一句要表达什么)

To begin with, living in this real world, we need money to pay our bills. Bills such as car insurance, electricity bills, gas bills will certainly come and to lay (lie?) quietly at our mail box without asking. If I have a high paid job,for example, I will not be scared to open my mail box at the end of each month. Also, I am under mortgage since I bought a large house in New York last year. A low paid job will definitely put me in a position that with no money to pay the mortgage,(这块得分句子吧)as a result, I will face home foreclosure and have bad credit history, which will also affect my future investment. Maybe no bank will be willing to lend money to me.& x3 W7 x* G9 S4 @# w- `. c
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Even though I like to take vacation, I have to spend time with my family especially my mother. Ever since my father died five months ago, my mother always feels lonely and unhappy and eventually she is diagnosed depression. The doctor told me what my mother mostly need is to receive love from family members especially from her children by spending time with them and take the high cost counseling treatment. So, with a high paid job, I will be able to pay her treatment fee; with a less vacation time, I can spend time with her more often. It makes me feel I am good child taking care of my parent. (这句话，我觉得，vacation time不是只用来让你vacation的，就是用来让你做自己的事情的。所以less vacation time会导致less time to be with mother)

In addition, in the recently five years, I want to set up my own landscape architecture company in German which needs a plenty of fundings and working skills. Working at a high paid job position and having less vacation time means that I will accumulate enough money and grasp working experience and field skills in a short time compared to the a low paid job with more relaxing time. # O- ~5 T: O6 \

For those reasons, I believe that a high paid job with less vacation time will be better than a low paid job with more vacation time.

heying1010UID：3139153

不好意思，因为我搞错组员了，现在改完你的作文

In recent years, job becomes a popular word. We hear it on television news about how many people are despaired to look for a job; we also hear it on president or governor competition speech about how to creating （create)jobs. We all need jobs, objectively, to support our life. When it comes to what kinds of job（jobs） a person will want to choose, however, would be more subjective（整句话缺主语）. From my perspective, I  think that a high paid job with less vacation time  is better than a low paid job with more vacation time due to it provides enough money to pay bills, more time to spend with family instead of traveling and enough fundings to fulfill our personal goal in an efficiently way.  
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To begin with,living in this real world, we need money to pay our bills. Bills such as car insurance, electricity bills, gas bills will certainly come and to(去掉） lay quietly at our mail box without asking. If I have a high paid job,for example, I will not be scared to open my mail box at the end of each month. Also, I am under mortgage since I bought a large house in New York last year. A low paid job will definitely put me in a position that with no money to pay the mortgage,（不成句子，建议把that去掉） as a result, I will face home foreclosure and have bad credit history, which will also affect my future investment. Maybe no bank will be willing to lend money to me.' ~! W# u) _4 J

( l/ D6 t% ]+ C" P6 ~( ~& qEven though I like to take vacation, I have to spend time with my family especially my mother.  Ever since my father died five months ago, my mother always（建议改成现在完成时 与ever since对应）feels lonely and unhappy and eventually she is（was因为是过去的事情) diagnosed （加个with）depression. The doctor told me what my mother mostly need is （was）to receive love from family members especially from her children by spending time with them and take the high cost counseling treatment. So, with a high paid job, I will be able to pay her treatment fee; with a less vacation time, I can spend time with her more often. It makes me feel I am good child taking care of my parent. # k! {5 K, [' b$ {. ^+ a* D
) ~/ l* \+ @% i: w  X
In addition, in the recently five years, I want to set up my own landscape architecture company in German which needs a plenty of fundings and working skills. Working at a high paid job position and having less vacation time means (mean复数）that I will accumulate enough money and grasp working experience and field skills in a short time compared to the a low paid job with more relaxing time. / a& y8 I+ k- d+ v: L. b
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For those reasons, I believe that a high paid job with less vacation time will be better than a low paid job with more vacation time

xiaomeidingUID：3087416

:loveliness:非常感谢！ 大家加油考到自己理想的成绩！

8月4日 20100221NA All school teachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge.

In the past, it was normal to see students take classes. We never though about teachers should take courses as well. Neither do the teachers! They may think they are done with the classes and enjoy their professor life. However, in this 21centrety, the heating and interesting topic regarding whether teachers should take courses every five years  in an effect to update all school teachers' knowledge or not draw a great attention among people. Some may think it is appropriate for teachers to do that while others do not. From my perspective, it really depends on what major teachers are in to decide whether they should do it or do not.

Professors in technology related field should update their knowledge. For example, in computer science, the softwares such as micro office, photoshop , are changing quickly as well as the viruses are born quickly over the time due to the development hackers' technology. To keep pace with these  changing, the professors's updated knowledge are required. As a result, it will certainly help the professors to teacher effectively and pass on the new knowledge to the students. And the students are more likely to study the new things, which will make them more competitive and ready for face the job hunting.

When it comes to language teachers, however, it is not necessary for them to attend classes due to the fixing language roles. Yet, the role will not changing over time. If it is changing, the communicate among people will be limited. So, what they need to do it to explore good teaching style and are willing to spend more time to help student solve the study problems. English as second languages program, for example, are running at almost every university in U.S. And it is quite popular program since the increasing number . So, teachers should force on how to teach students to grasp the languages' role. Taking courses for these teachers would be a waste of time and money.

As analysis, teachers should make the proper decision when they are giving the opportunity to take courses every five years according to the major field they are in. It may be needed for some professors to take classes every five years. But, for some professors, it would be better to spend more time on helping students instead of taking course.  








TPO-01Four Day Workweek
In the lecture, the professor argues that the four day employee plan will not result in more profit to the company, increase jobs rate and improve employees' personal life quality. The lecture casts doubts on what the passage indicates that this plan will definitely bring these results.

To begin with,  the professor says that the companies will spend more money instead of earning more profit by using four day employe plan. The money spend on the training new employees and medical benefits will costly. Also, the cost will increase because companies will add additional office space and  additional computer for the new employees. It differs from the reading in that the passage states this plan will increase company profits due to less costly errors make by alert and rested employees. Also, payroll costs will remain the same even though hiring more staff and they can finish the same amount of work .

Another point in the lecture opposes the reading is that this plan will not result create more job position. Due to the cost of hiring more employees, employes will have more expectation by ask the four days' employees to do the same amount of five days 'worker do to make up the differences. As a result, no more job will be available and the current job will become unpleasant. While ,the reading passage indicates that the employment rate will increase by offering full-time employees with fewer working hours and four day employees with an 80 percent rate.

Finally, the professor's third opinion is that personal life quality will not increase. Four-day employees will lose job ability and miss the advance. Also, they will past over the promotion opportunities and more likely to lose their job because companies want to hire someone who can company and supervise. But the view from the reading is that by working four day, they can have more free time to improve their life quality such as hanging out with families, pursing personal interests and participating in activities.

xiaomeidingUID：3087416

2# 草莓刨冰
谢谢美女的修改
我也觉得我第2点写的理由比较牵强～

xiaomeidingUID：3087416

3# heying1010
:loveliness:非常感谢！

Fruit~UID：2559265

8月1日 20090227NA A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.
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) D9 a' c1 t+ \# QIn recent years, job becomes a popular word. We hear it on television news about how many people are despaired  to look for a job (desperate for job hunting); we also hear it on president or governor competition speech about how to creating jobs (hear it during presidential elections regarding more efforts to  be invested for job creation). We all need jobs, objectively, to support our life. When it comes to what kinds of job a person will want to (delete "want to" )choose, however, would be more subjective. From my perspective, I  think ("from my perspective"="I think", so use either of them instead of both in one sentence) that a high paid job with less vacation time  is better than a low paid job with more vacation time due to (What followes "due to" should be phrases/words instead of sentences. Therefore, you made grammatical mistakes here.) it provides enough money to pay bills, more time to spend with family instead of traveling and enough fundings to fulfill our personal goal in an efficiently way.  
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# q+ o& k4 t, Z! q; @1 fTo begin with,living in this real world, we need money to pay our bills. Bills such as car insurance, electricity bills, gas bills will certainly come and to lay quietly at our mail box without asking. If I have a high paid job,for example, I will not be scared to open my mail box at the end of each month. Also, I am under mortgage since I bought a large house in New York last year. A low paid job will definitely put me in a position that with no money to pay the mortgage (A lower paid job will absolutely jeopardize my capacity to pay back mortgage in a timely manner), as a result, I will face home foreclosure and have bad credit history, which will also affect my future investment. Maybe no bank will be willing to lend money to me (You should use a period before "as a result" since they are two sentences. Avoid using too many long sentences!!!).
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Even though I like to take vacation, I have to spend time with my family especially my mother.  Ever since my father died five months ago, my mother always feels lonely and unhappy and eventually she is diagnosed depression. The doctor told me what my mother mostly need is to receive love from family members especially from her children by spending time with them and take the high cost counseling treatment. So, with a high paid job, I will be able to pay her treatment fee; with a less vacation time, I can spend time with her more often. It makes me feel I am good child taking care of my parent. $ f/ c0 n6 o! K  r

6 s! r4 b& V3 ]" HIn addition, in the recently five years, I want to set up my own landscape architecture company in German which needs a plenty of fundings and working skills. Working at a high paid job position and having less vacation time means that I will accumulate enough money and grasp working experience and field skills in a short time compared to the a low paid job with more relaxing time. 6 u9 y5 Y1 }& o5 z+ j$ K- H9 E9 L0 w4 j

, M* m, T6 ?9 n% LFor those reasons, I believe that a high paid job with less vacation time will be better than a low paid job with more vacation time.
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Fruit~UID：2559265

Just browse the first two paragraphs. Noticed several grammatical mistakes and a few redundant expressions. I would suggest using more concise way to illuminate your stance.

Avoid using very long sentences (That is the suggestion from my writing professor). Even for U.S. students, I seldom bump into a sentence more than 2 lines.

Fruit~UID：2559265

另外请教大家这些作文题都是哪里找来的? 没发现提库啊? 难道是大家自己编题?

谢谢了!:)

pumpkinbrainUID：2856860

这是我的作文，占座补上的，谢谢批改~   
9月17日 独立   https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... xtra=#pid1775494712