argument0 berlinbear快扔砖

sallyxinduUID：2131253

argument0
The University of Claria is generally considered one of the best universities in the world because of its instructors' reputation, which is based primarily on the extensive research and publishing record of certain faculty members.  In addition, several faculty members are internationally renowned as leaders in their fields.  For example, many of the faculty from the English department are regularly invited to teach at universities in other countries.  Furthermore, two recent graduates of the physics department have gone on to become candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics.  And 75 percent of the students are able to find employment after graduating.  Therefore, because of the reputation of its faculty, the University of Claria should be the obvious choice for anyone seeking a quality education.

Outline
1，        虽然Claria有好的名声，但学生挑选学校的时候不止看名声，还考虑学校的位置，学费，学校的环境等其他因素.另外，还应该考虑自身因素。
2，        英语系和物理系的好成绩并不能说明这个学校的任何专业都好。或许其他专业的水平都低于平均水平
3，        百分制75的人能找到工作是不具有说服力的，如果这些工作是连高中生都能胜任的那么这反倒说明这个学校的水平很低
正文
The notion that good reputation,elite faculty and graduates and prosperous employment trend win University of Claria a dominant one seems at first blush an obvious conclusion. Neverthless, the arguer fails to take into consideration all the following factors necessary to evaluate his reasoning. Is good reputation the only premise when students decide whether to attende the school or not? Can departments of English and Physics be representatives of all departments? Finding employment is the equivalence of finding good jobs?

Even thought university of Claria enjoys good reputation, it’s still not sufficient to guarantee successful attraction of students. When studens as well as their family are narrowing down their list of potential univesities, other conditions like the location of the school, tuitions, environment the the like are all inevitably within their consideration besides university’s reputation. For example, if a first-class universtiy with illuminating reputation but with shabby living facilities, comparatively expensive tuition fees and a second-class institution but with comfortable lodging condition, pretty low cost are placed in front of a student, it’s nature that the student will compare their advantages and disadvantages in order to strike a balance, if eventually the second-class institution outweighs the reputable first-class university in lodging and fees in an overwhem momentum,the student would turn down the famous university but choose the less selective institution. Also, it’s not the prestigious university but students themselves carry more weigh in the success of campus life.A professor at the university of Pennsylvanis puts it this way: “it’s like the brass ring on a merry-go-round. If you go to a high-priced, highly selective school, you have a better shot at the brass ring. But you have to grab it.” This idea penetratingly explains the relatiohship between prestigious schools and student’s own endevor.

Morever, the outstanding performance of faculty from English department in a extensive scope in universities cannot bespeak that faculty from all other departments are as excellent as those in English department. Nor does Physics department’s graduates’ candidacy for Nobel Prize demonstrate that graduates of other departments are of the same predominant capability. In this sense, the representatives the arguer chose are lacking representation. As a matter of fact, graduates’ average academic level of other departments in Claria may bellow the average level of all graduates nationwide. If this comes out to be true, university of Claria is a plain university rather than a highy selective one to which most students are to be attached.

Finally, it’s one thing for 75 percent of the students to be able to find employment, it’s totally another thing for all of them to find good employment. On the assumption that all the 75 percent students are to be offered jobs which can be handled by hight-school graduates without great efforts, the otherwise prosperous trend of obtainning employment of Universtiy of Claria is substantially a mendacious feint and therefore cannot explain either student’s competitive power in the job-hunting market or the quality education in Claria.

The prediction of Claria’s attraction for students who long for quality education based on the reasoning provided by the arguer is groundless and even preposterous in that the arguer only scratches the surface of the content which really entices prospective students. When comes to decisive choice of a university, students will of course think over the so-called advantages of Claria more profoundly and other conditions in a macroscopical perspectiv

字数，５４４．多多指教哦．呵呵

yangxingUID：2112368

先占沙发，我也要改

BerlinbearUID：207694

argument0
The University of Claria is generally considered one of the best universities in the world because of its instructors' reputation, which is based primarily on the extensive research and publishing record of certain faculty members.  In addition, several faculty members are internationally renowned as leaders in their fields.  For example, many of the faculty from the English department are regularly invited to teach at universities in other countries.  Furthermore, two recent graduates of the physics department have gone on to become candidates for the Nobel Prize in Physics.  And 75 percent of the students are able to find employment after graduating.  Therefore, because of the reputation of its faculty, the University of Claria should be the obvious choice for anyone seeking a quality education.

Outline
1，        虽然Claria有好的名声，但学生挑选学校的时候不止看名声，还考虑学校的位置，学费，学校的环境等其他因素.另外，还应该考虑自身因素。
2，        英语系和物理系的好成绩并不能说明这个学校的任何专业都好。或许其他专业的水平都低于平均水平
3，        百分制75的人能找到工作是不具有说服力的，如果这些工作是连高中生都能胜任的那么这反倒说明这个学校的水平很低
正文
The notion that good reputation,elite faculty and graduates and prosperous employment trend win University of Claria a dominant one seems at first blush an obvious conclusion. Neverthless,(Nevertheless Sally，你上次有片issue用了这个词也犯了拼写错误，可能是背的时候记忆有点偏差，下次稍留心一下哈，呵呵~~~) the arguer fails to take into consideration all the following factors necessary to evaluate his reasoning. Is good reputation the only premise when students decide whether to attende(attend) the school or not? Can departments of English and Physics be representatives of all departments? Finding employment is the equivalence of finding good jobs?

Even thought university of Claria enjoys good reputation, it’s still not sufficient to guarantee successful attraction of students. When studens as well as their family are narrowing down their list of potential univesities, other conditions like the location of the school, tuitions, environment the the like are all inevitably within their consideration besides university’s reputation. For example, if a first-class universtiy with illuminating reputation but with shabby living facilities, comparatively expensive tuition fees and a second-class institution but with comfortable lodging condition, pretty low cost are placed in front of a student, it’s nature that the student will compare their advantages and disadvantages in order to strike a balance, if eventually the second-class institution outweighs the reputable first-class university in lodging and fees in an overwhem(overwhelm) momentum, the student would turn down the famous university but choose the less selective institution. Also, it’s not the prestigious university but students themselves carry more weigh in the success of campus life.A professor at the university of Pennsylvanis(Pennsylvania) puts it this way: “it’s like the brass ring on a merry-go-round. If you go to a high-priced, highly selective school, you have a better shot at the brass ring. But you have to grab it.” This idea penetratingly explains the relatiohship between prestigious schools and student’s own endeavor.

Morever(Moreover), the outstanding performance of faculty from English department in a extensive scope in universities cannot bespeak that faculty from all other departments are as excellent as those in English department. Nor does Physics department’s graduates’ candidacy for Nobel Prize demonstrate that graduates of other departments are of the same predominant capability.（nor开头的倒装诗句以表达的很有利，棒！） In this sense, the representatives the arguer chose are lacking representation. As a matter of fact, graduates’ average academic level of other departments in Claria may bellow the average level of all graduates nationwide. If this comes out to be true, university of Claria is a plain university rather than a highly selective one to which most students are to be attached.

Finally, it’s one thing for 75 percent of the students to be able to find employment, it’s totally another thing for all of them to find good employment.(这两句话中间是不是加个连接词会更字让流畅一点呀？) On the assumption that all the 75 percent students are to be offered jobs which can be handled by high-school graduates without great efforts, the otherwise prosperous trend of obtainning(obtaining) employment of Universtiy of Claria is substantially a mendacious feint and therefore cannot explain either student’s competitive power in the job-hunting market or the quality education in Claria.

The prediction of Claria’s attraction for students who long for quality education based on the reasoning provided by the arguer is groundless and even preposterous in that the arguer only scratches the surface of the content which really entices prospective students. When it comes to decisive choice of a university, students will of course think over the so-called advantages of Claria more profoundly and other conditions in a macroscopical perspective.（结尾部分好像有点从简了，个人觉得如果能对文中批驳的错误作一下归纳然后再退出结论会更有利~）
整篇文章条理清晰，用词精准，Sally的文笔犀利有力，每次读下来都很有畅快淋漓的感觉，呵呵~~

sallyxinduUID：2131253

谢谢天使的修改，我会注意的