请牛人指点一下

danielfeiUID: 2143290

The boundary of adults and children
When I was a child , I was always not allowed to do a great number of things like riding a bicycle on the road or swimming . Maybe that was the beginning of the time I started to desire to be an adult , even though adults have some kinds of their own troubles . But what kinds of events can make a child an adult ?

First of all , we must mention the 18th birthday of a normal person , which divide the one’s life into two parts . In the party of that day , we always hold a ceremony for the one who will be an adult and escape the constrain from his family , and it must be the most unforgotten time in his life .
A second event , which we must take into consideration , is the first time when a person attend a job . That is not the meanings of the occupation the people has been offered , however , he or she can acquires a lot of experiences from the task ,and becomes stronger and independent in the future . Moreover , his or her communication ability can be improved . So these are the standard of personalities or skills an adult must acquire .

Also , going abroad for a college may be an another event we must concern . For instance , when a person becomes old enough and then was qualified to go to a university . He or she may go outside to another strange place in which they are completely out of his or her parents’ control . They must begin to learn how to look after their regular lives , how to get along with other people , and how to handle thing in difficult situation , which may be one of most particular processes that a child become an adult .

Furthermore , we must add some significant personal skills that an adult must attain , which are mature , critical thinking , and self-responsible .

Finally , we can conclude some events such as 18th birthday , attending a job for the very first time , and even going aboard to go to college , have an tremendous effect in making a child an adult . However , we also can say that there is no boundary between the time of children and adults . And we can acquire a lot of experiences and even become smarter through those events we have mentioned above .

melianUID: 2203572

?????

hesaiUID: 2203558

语法。。。。。。我宁愿写简单句子也不愿意犯语法错误

danielfeiUID: 2143290

请指点一下吧
我是直接用电脑打上去的
可能会有些错误吧

loishyhUID: 2189193

我顺着你的意思写了一下第一段,

loishyhUID: 2189193

我顺着你的意思写了一下第一段,
感觉有点乱,如果只是为了凑字,
才多加一句,还不如写长句看起来简洁一些

互相勉励好了

danielfeiUID: 2143290

谢谢楼上

但您是什么意思呀？