5T同题写作 请指教 （ 一定回拍！）

danielfeiUID: 2143290

There are numerous characters that a good neighbor need to acquire , such as politeness , loyalty , and intelligence . However , as far as I am concerned , The truly good neighbor must have got three qualities which contain neatness , a kind-hearted nature , and a positive attitude of responsibility .

One of the primary characteristics to my mind is neatness , which not only mean a clean habit of the neighbor , but also a kind of issue related to a quiet custom and a regular life . Suppose your neighbor acquires a dirty habit and does not hold a regular life . what kind of result will happen? To my point , your community will be full of rubbish and dirty water .and you can not fall asleep become your neighbor’s schedule which is not equal to the regular people . In the end , this kind of circumstance is so terrible that you can hardly handle it easily , who will be happy in this kind of environment ?

A subtle quality , which must take into consideration , is that a real good neighbor must possess a kind-hearted nature , which can make the communication between us well . Moreover , if I am in danger in my house some day , my neighbor who really have got this kind of personality will help me in time . communicating with a kind-hearted person is a comfortable thing , and he or she can point out the faculties I have directly and how to correct it . That is very helpful .

At last but not least , a good neighbor are responsible for everything he or she should do . Responsibility is one of the most significant characteristics the successful people must possess . For instance , a person who lack the attitude of responsibility can destroy the facilities of the community in a very high percent , and then the environment our community becomes more and more terrible , and the common facilities becomes useless . A responsible neighbor can clean the area which belongs to him or her , and even make other one’s cleaner .

Finally , taking into account of all these qualities , we may reach the conclusion that we can call a neighbor a good one only if she or she must acquire three qualities we mentioned above , even though there are still many other characteristics that can account for my fondness for it .

alex6945UID: 2130168

谢谢看了偶的文章,粗略改了改你的
There are numerous characters that a good neighbor need to acquire , such as politeness , loyalty(vigilance) , and intelligence . However , as far as I am concerned , The(A) truly good neighbor must have got three qualities which contain neatness , a kind-hearted nature , and a positive attitude of responsibility .(本句中列的三个似乎与前面说的有点重复)

One of the primary characteristics to my mind is neatness , which not only mean a clean habit of the neighbor , but also a kind of issue related to a quiet custom and a regular life（本句用词过于晦涩，不易懂） . Suppose your neighbor acquires a dirty habit and does not hold a regular life . what（which） kind of result will happen? To my point , your community will be full of rubbish and dirty water .and you can not fall asleep become your neighbor’s schedule which is not equal to the regular people . In the end , this kind of circumstance is so terrible that you can hardly handle it easily , who will be happy in this kind of environment ?（为了体现客观性应该把you改为one,句式的一些方面似乎有用词不妥之处）

A subtle quality , which must take into consideration , is that a real good neighbor must possess a kind-hearted nature , which can make the communication between us well （好象漏了点什么）. Moreover , if I am in danger in my house some day , my neighbor who really have got this kind of personality will help me in time . communicating（communication） with a kind-hearted person is a comfortable thing (experience), and he or she(he/she) can point out the faculties I have directly and (show me) how to correct it . That is very helpful .

At(delete) last but not (the) least , a good neighbor are responsible for everything he or she should do . Responsibility is one of the most significant characteristics the successful people must possess . For instance , a person who lack the attitude of responsibility can destroy the facilities of the community in a very high percent(似乎不通) , and then the environment （of）our community becomes more and more terrible , and the common facilities becomes useless . A responsible neighbor can(would) clean the area which belongs to him or her , and even make other one’s cleaner .
Finally , taking into account of all these qualities , we may reach the conclusion that we can call a neighbor a good one only if she or she must(delete) acquire three qualities :)we(delete) mentioned above , even though there are still many other characteristics that can account for my fondness for it
似乎词句还不是很恰当

danielfeiUID: 2143290

多谢！
词句可能是考AWA搞的

woodygtUID: 2136751

上午发了一次没成功，改了半天的东西就这么丢了。。。学校这破网。

就不再细改了。。。

有几个问题，
第一个是觉得那个acquire不知道合适不合适，我觉得这个词更多的强调是去获得某种东西，而性格什么的通常讨论的是一种已经有的状态。

然后第三段那个in danger我觉得用problem就可以了，用danger就把这个范围局限的太小了。

主要就是这些，整体感觉还好，感觉有些固定搭配用的不太好。
加油！

谢谢楼主帮我改文章。