ISSUE43同主题写作【越洋农场战队】－hanyuan，欢迎拍砖！

hanyuanUID: 2219299

43T "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards." 43． 一个官员要想成为一个好的领导，他必须有极高的民族和道德标准
word 575         time exceed
In today’s society, lots of news and reports we hear about scandal, bribery and corruption of the public officials are revealed by the global mass media, which remind us to seek a suitable measure for evaluating the performances and achievements of public officials. Some people argue to establish the highest ethical and moral criterion to require the quality of a public leader. However, in my view, to be an effective leader a leader should hold more characteristics rather than merely holding on moral and ethical principles.

To begin with, I agree with the author insofar that holding the highest ethical and principles has many merits. Such examples abound in the human race’s development trace. The greatest hero Mahatma Gandhi, who saved the India from the invaders, canonizes the ethical and moral criterions of intrepidity, self-sacrifice, patience, loyalty, equality, which are all derives from his highest ethical and moral standards—love. The spirit impenetrate in his “nonviolence and sticking to the truth” movement against the foreign invaders and finally succeed. Another contemporary example is the famous leader chairperson Zhou Enlai, who is the paradigm of Chinese political leader. He is such rectitude that he has no any deposit in the bank. No one could deny that their high ethical and moral self-demand plays the key role in their leadership.

However, holding on the highest ethical and moral standards is not prerequisite for all effective leaders. To determine whether public officials should be morally perfect, we should define the highest ethical and moral standards first. To our common sense, the highest ethical and moral standards must contain the public morality and the private morality. Public morality is much more attached to the effectiveness of a leader while the private morality often has nothing to do with the effectiveness of a leader. Actually, Clinton maintains extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President, although considering his improper private sexual relationship with Lewinsky. Of course we public ordinary hope that public officials is flawless leaders with goodness, honest and most importantly, morally pristine, unfortunately, however, such saints could only exist on screens and legends. Most of our public leaders are actually the same people as us with the same shortcomings as we have. Yet these private immoral flaws do not prevent them from being outstanding leaders, and people rationally can tolerance and accept them together with the great contributions and achievements.

Moreover, in a modern society, to be an effective leader, one should maintain much more capabilities other than moral perfect. When we meet a successful leader, we wonder what makes his/her success. After carefully scrutiny, we will found that many other characteristics such as personality, persuasive, persistence, and people based, practical, prepared… determine the effectiveness of a public leader. The more these traits one have successfully developed, the greater the probability of one success in leadership and in most careers.

To the sum, some public immoralities such as corruption, bribery etc is necessary for a leader. Yet we should not pay much more attention to their private moralities that is irrelative with their contributions and achievements. Something else plays more important role in a leader’s effectiveness.

pewcg8UID: 2143213

In today’s society,(也可以说contemporary) lots of news and reports we hear about scandal, bribery and corruption of the public officials are revealed by the global mass media,("我们听说的......被传媒所揭示",这句读起来有点别扭.) which remind us to seek a suitable measure for evaluating the performances and achievements of public officials. (这么说有点牵强)Some people argue to establish the highest ethical and moral criterion to require the quality of a public leader(这个句子结构有点乱,最好再重新理一下). However, in my view, to be an effective leader a leader(句子语法没错,但你自己读读就知道为什么拗口了) should hold more characteristics rather than merely holding on moral and ethical principles.
作者采取的是反的观点为主,开头就明确的指出,就是开头的语法和句法应该再斟酌一下.

To begin with, I agree with the author insofar that holding the highest ethical and principles has(个人认为用have) many merits. Such examples (少了一个are,句子是好句子,没有用for example)abound in the human race’s development trace. The greatest hero Mahatma Gandhi,(是在说甘地的例子吧) who saved the India from the invaders, canonizes the ethical and moral criterions of intrepidity, self-sacrifice, patience, loyalty, equality, which are all derives from his highest ethical and moral standards—love. The spirit impenetrate in his “nonviolence and sticking to the truth” movement against the foreign invaders and finally succeed. Another contemporary example is the famous leader chairperson Zhou Enlai, who is the paradigm (好词!)of Chinese political leader. He is such rectitude that he has no any deposit in the bank. No one could deny that their high ethical and moral self-demand plays the key role in their leadership. (举例完了一定要总结,总结再总结,千万不要只罗列例子,大忌啊!!)
本段的例子举的比较合适,段落开始不错,但是就是虎头蛇尾.

However, holding on the highest ethical and moral standards is not (这里又少了冠词,圆圆好好看看冠词的使用问题)prerequisite for all effective leaders. To determine whether public officials should be morally perfect,(非常好的替换说法!) we should define (非常明智的在这里下了定义!)the highest ethical and moral standards first. To our common sense, the highest ethical and moral standards must contain the public morality and the private morality. Public morality is much more attached to the effectiveness of a leader while the private morality often has nothing to do with the effectiveness of a leader. Actually, Clinton maintains extraordinarily high approval ratings for the job he was doing as President, although considering his improper private sexual relationship with Lewinsky. Of course we public ordinary hope that public officials is flawless leaders with goodness, honest and most importantly, morally pristine,(又是闪光词汇) unfortunately, however, such saints could only exist on screens and legends. (好句)Most of our public leaders are actually the same people as us with the same shortcomings as we have. Yet these private immoral flaws do not prevent them from being outstanding leaders, and people rationally can tolerance and accept them together with the great contributions and achievements.

Moreover, in a modern society, to be an effective leader, one should maintain much more capabilities other than moral perfect. When we meet a successful leader, we wonder what makes his/her success. After carefully scrutiny, we will found that many other characteristics such as personality, persuasive, persistence, and people based, practical, prepared… determine the effectiveness of a public leader. The more these traits one have successfully developed, the greater the probability of one success in leadership and in most careers.

To the sum, some public immoralities such as corruption, (话说反了!)bribery etc is necessary for a leader. Yet we should not pay much more attention to their private moralities that is irrelative with their contributions and achievements. Something else (应该明确的在这里指出来才好,才有利于深化主题)plays more important role in a leader’s effectiveness.

总结:
本文是天使与魔鬼的混合体,接连不断的精彩用法和句型让我赞叹不已,但是语法错误和句法错误不少,许多表意有不清楚和歧义,结构还是可以的.