Argument193 [5f第三次作业]让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

Argument193  让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------题目------
The Department of Education in the state of Attra recommends that high school students be assigned homework every day. Yet a recent statewide survey of high school math and science teachers calls the usefulness of daily homework into question. In the district of Sanlee, 86 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week, whereas in the district of Marlee, less than 25 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week. Yet the students in Marlee earn better grades overall and are less likely to be required to repeat a year of school than are the students in Sanlee. Therefore, all teachers in our high schools should assign homework no more than twice a week, if at all.
------正文------
In the argument, the author recommends that high school students in the state of Attra should be assigned homework less than twice a week, via citing a statewide survey as evidence that it is contraproductive to assign homework every day. However, after a thorough review of the survey mentioned in the passage, I cast doubt on the results and it lends no convincing support to the author's claim.

To begin with, the survey covered only math and science teachers, which could hardly represent the opinions of teachers in every field of high school education as a whole. As common sense informs us, diverse fields of disciplines require different study patterns according to the characteristics of the specific domain. For instance, the science and math aim at developing the skills of logic thinking and experimental skills, which might require students to review the lessons thoroughly and spend more time on practicing and experimenting. On the contrary, the humanities call for students to achieve a wide range of reading with reading, writing assays as homework. Therefore, with different requirements of the numerous disciplines, the results of the science and math could provide no sound represent for the other subjects. Besides, the methodology of the survey relies on the report from the teachers, as has been mentioned in the passage, which provides less objective assess of the results. It is entirely possible that the teachers tend to report the number of weekly homework less than the actual number because of the pressure and fierce competition among schools, leaving the results highly suspicious.

In addition, due to various dissimilarities between the two districts, the comparison between Sanlee district and Marlee district seems unsounded on several aspects. For one thing, the author merely compares the times of homework assigned weekly while the actual amount of the homework has been left out of consideration. Normally, the homework comes in highly flexible patterns including finishing exercises in the text books, arranging a investigation, writing assays and even doing sports thus the time and efforts it takes to finish the homework vary remarkably. Therefore, mere the number of times of the assignment presented a non-quantitative pattern of measuring the amount.  For another, the outcome of education is measured by the grades and the percent of repeating a year of school, which is incomparable. The grades are especially flexible not among only different districts but also among individual school within a district. And the percent of repeating school year differs according to the regulations of various schools. Therefore, it is entirely possible that the higher scores and lower rate of repeating in Marlee disctrict's high schools result from their looser requirement and the actual education effect of Sanlee's high school might be better than that of Marlee's.

Furthermore, the author compares the situations of Sanlee district and Marlee district, arousing little representative results for the high school system in the state of Attra as a whole. Complex as modern society as the state of Attra might be, the educational quality may vary profoundly among the high school system. More likely is that certain regions attach greater importance to education while others concern on practice and professional skills. Therefore, even if the less-than-twice-weekly-homework policy works in these two regions, it is less likely to achieve the same efficacy in other districts.

In sum, the author's recommendation for less-than-twice-weekly-homework policy relies on unsounded reasoning procedures and unsupportive evidence. At a minimum, further studies should utilize reliable selection criteria for representative samples, apply reliable assessment methods and exclude potentially confounding factors before the authoritative recommendation could be proposed.

lestouUID: 2260126

In the argument, the author recommends that high school students in the state of Attra should be assigned homework less than twice a week, via citing a statewide与例子不符合，应该是只有两个地区 survey as evidence that it is contraproductivecontradictory to assign homework every day. However, after a thorough review of the survey mentioned in the passage, I cast doubt on the results and it lends no convincing support to the author's claim.

To begin with, the survey covered only math and science teachers, which could hardly represent the opinions of teachers in every field of high school education as a whole. As common sense informs us, diverse fields of disciplines require different study patterns according to the characteristics of the specific domain. For instance, the science and math aim at developing the skills of logic thinking and experimental skills, which might require students to review the lessons thoroughly and spend more time on practicing and experimenting. On the contrary, the humanities call for students to achieve a wide range of reading with reading, writing assays as homework. Therefore, with different requirements of the numerous disciplines, the results of the science and math could provide no sound represent for the other subjects. Besides, the methodology of the survey relies on the report from the teachers, as has been mentioned in the passage, which provides less objective assess of the results. It is entirely possible that the teachers tend to report the number of weekly homework less than the actual number because of the pressure and fierce competition among schools, leaving the results highly suspicious.

In addition, due to various dissimilarities between the two districts, the comparison between Sanlee district and Marlee district seems unsounded on several aspects. For one thing, the author merely compares the times of homework assigned weekly while the actual amount of the homework has been left out of consideration. Normally, the homework comes in highly flexible patterns including finishing exercises in the text books, arranging a investigation, writing assays and even doing sports thus the time and efforts it takes to finish the homework vary remarkably. Therefore, mere the number of times of the assignment presented a non-quantitative pattern of measuring the amount. For another, the outcome of education is measured by the grades and the percent of repeating a year of school, which is incomparable.感觉这部分应该放第一段，后面我会详谈 The grades are especially flexible not among only different districts but also among individual school within a district. And the percent of repeating school year differs according to the regulations of various schools. Therefore, it is entirely possible that the higher scores and lower rate of repeating in Marlee disctrict'sdistrict’s high schools result from their looser requirement and the actual education effect of Sanlee's high school might be better than that of Marlee's.

Furthermore, the author compares the situations of Sanlee district and Marlee district, arousing little representative results for the high school system in the state of Attra as a whole. Complex as modern society as the state of Attra might be, the educational quality may vary profoundly among the high school system. More likely is that certain regions attach greater importance to education while others concern on practice and professional skills. Therefore, even if the less-than-twice-weekly-homework policy works in these two regions, it is less likely to achieve the same efficacy好词，又学到了，呵呵 in other districts.

In sum, the author's recommendation for less-than-twice-weekly-homework policy relies on unsounded reasoning procedures and unsupportive evidence. At a minimum, further studies should utilize reliable selection criteria for representative samples, apply reliable assessment methods and exclude potentially confounding factors before the authoritative recommendation could be proposed.
逻辑上有个问题需要和楼主探讨下,就是观点顺序的问题:

虽然不知道楼主是按什么思路来布局的,我是这样认为的,先应该谈有很多其他因素决定学生的素质.这个应该是前提条件,也就是说如果学生素质和留学人数不相关,那么即使能够证明少布置作业可以减少留级的人数,但是也无法证明可以同时提高学校教学质量.也就是把你的红色的部分放到第一段会更好.(不知道说清楚没有,汗)
然后才是布置作业可以减少留级的人数不具代表性等问题,这些都是在留级人数确实和学校教学质量相关的前提下的.

留链回拍 https://bbs.gter.net/thread-761714-1-1.html

shuwenyingUID: 2233183

十分感谢lestou的认真修改！！！
以下是我的写作思路，为了方便大家修改，我还是在以后的作业前列出文章的提纲吧
Argument193   
------题目------
The Department of Education in the state of Attra recommends that high school students be assigned homework every day. Yet a recent statewide这里写着statewide survey of high school math and science teachers第一段的攻击点：数学和科学不能代表所有科目的结果 calls the usefulness of daily homework into question. In the district of Sanlee, 86 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week, whereas in the district of Marlee, less than 25 percent of the teachers reported assigning homework three to five times a week. Yet the students in Marlee earn better grades overall and are less likely to be required to repeat a year of school than are the students in Sanlee. Therefore, all teachers in our high schools should assign homework no more than twice a week, if at all.

第二个攻击点：M区和S区不可比，有太多不相似的地方。其中包括评价学生指标不科学这一点。
第三：就算M和S可比，仅仅是M和S的结果不足以代表整个A state

tianling1985UID: 2274491

In the argument, the author recommends that high school students in the state of Attra should be assigned homework less than twice a week, via citing a statewide survey as evidence that it is contraproductive（没问题的，contradictory反倒是主要表示反驳、相对的意思） to assign homework every day. However, after a thorough review of the survey mentioned in the passage, I cast doubt on the results and it lends no convincing support to the author's claim.

To begin with, the survey covered only math and science teachers, which could hardly represent the opinions of teachers in every field of high school education as a whole. As common sense informs us, diverse fields of disciplines require different study patterns according to the characteristics of the specific domain. For instance, the science and math aim at developing the skills of logic thinking and experimental skills, which might require students to review the lessons thoroughly and spend more time on practicing and experimenting.（这里似乎缺了与logic thinking相对的内容，有点凑出论据的感觉） On the contrary, the humanities call for students to achieve a wide range of reading with reading, writing assays as homework. Therefore, with different requirements of the numerous disciplines, the results of the science and math could provide no sound represent for the other subjects. Besides, the methodology of the survey relies on the report from the teachers, as has been mentioned in the passage, which provides less objective assess of the results. It is entirely possible that the teachers tend to report the number of weekly homework less than the actual number because of the pressure and fierce competition among schools, leaving the results highly suspicious.（最后一句可以不写，老外观点里可能会觉得很奇怪，说不定不认可其中的逻辑关系的）

In addition, due to various dissimilarities between the two districts, the comparison between Sanlee district and Marlee district seems unsounded on several aspects. For one thing, the author merely compares the times of homework assigned weekly while the actual amount of the homework has been left out of consideration. Normally, the homework comes in highly flexible patterns including finishing exercises in the text books, arranging a investigation, writing assays and even doing sports thus the time and efforts it takes to finish the homework vary remarkably. Therefore, mere the number of times of the assignment presented a non-quantitative pattern of measuring the amount.  For another, the outcome of education is measured by the grades and the percent of repeating a year of school, which is incomparable. The grades are especially flexible not among only different districts but also among individual school within a district. And the percent of repeating school year differs according to the regulations of various schools. Therefore, it is entirely possible that the higher scores and lower rate of repeating in Marlee disctrict's high schools result from their looser requirement and the actual education effect of Sanlee's high school might be better than that of Marlee's.

Furthermore, the author compares the situations of Sanlee district and Marlee district, arousing little representative results for the high school system in the state of Attra as a whole. Complex as modern society as the state of Attra might be, the educational quality may vary profoundly among the high school system. More likely is that certain regions attach greater importance to education while others concern on practice and professional skills. Therefore, even if the less-than-twice-weekly-homework policy works in these two regions, it is less likely to achieve the same efficacy in other districts.

In sum, the author's recommendation for less-than-twice-weekly-homework policy relies on unsounded reasoning procedures and unsupportive evidence. At a minimum, further studies should utilize reliable selection criteria for representative samples, apply reliable assessment methods and exclude potentially confounding factors before the authoritative recommendation could be proposed.

感觉楼主很多问题都表达的非常清楚，逻辑也没有问题，至于ls说的论证先后问题，若是在正面支持这个观点的时候是必须，当我们驳论时，两种顺序都是可以的。楼主语言精炼，实在改不出什么错误来了，没有能力给予指教，还请见谅