argument45 [Jet小组]第三次作业

dreamstringUID: 2389201

Argument45. The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."


字数 457

The writer drew a conclusion that the decline in arctic deer populations is caused by global warming trends, which result in the deer being unable to migrate across the frozen sea any more. It seems that the reasoning is rational, since the global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt, then the deer would be impossible to travel from one island to the other. However, there are some flaws in the reasoning which might lead to a false conclusion.

First of all, the writer conclude that it is the global warming trends that led to the declining deer populations just because the coincident that the report was issued when the global temperature was starting to ascend. It is sure that this reasoning is full of flaws. It might be the number of the deer that the hunters shot has increased, which could also cause the declining populations of the deer during this warming period. Or it is possible that some new species which eat the deer appeared. This might be another reason to the declining trend. The author should take an investigation to show that there were no other reasons lead to the declining trend, otherwise I will not be convinced that it was the global warming trends murdered the deer.

Secondly, the arguer claimed that the global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt. However, as far as we know, this trend didn’t appear all over the world. It is uncertain whether the global warming trends have had an influence in the area where the arctic deer lives in. If the writer could not offer evidences to prove the ice of Canada’s arctic region has melted by an increasing temperature, I will not believe that the deer cannot travel on the ice any more.

What’s more, even if the global warming trends have had an influence in Canada’s arctic region, it does not mean that the trend hindered deer’s migration. It is possible that the temperature was high enough to kill the plants which the deer eat but did not melt the ice. We are reasonable to believe the deer is dead of starvation but the melted ice. Or they were dead of both of the two reasons, and there might be other reasons lead to there death. Just saying it is the melted ice that caused there death is unfair and unreasonable.

In sum, the author drew a conclusion with some flaws which I wrote above. To improve the argument, the should provide evidences to prove that the global warming trends do have melted ice in Canada’s arctic region, and the declining populations of the deer is because they could not migrate from one island to another but the other reasons.

hds123523000UID: 2454889

Argument45. The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.

"Arctic deer live on islands in Canada's arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plants on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer populations is the result of deer being unable to follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea."


字数 457

The writer drew a conclusion that the decline in arctic deer populations is caused by global warming trends, which result in the deer being unable to migrate across the frozen sea any more.[你小子玩了，文章作者的观点是由于北极鹿不能按照以前的方式迁徙（这是由全球变暖造成的）而不是由全球变暖直接造成的] It seems that the reasoning is rational, since the global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt, then the deer would be impossible to travel from one island to the other. However, there are some flaws in the reasoning which might lead to a false conclusion.

First of all, the writer conclude that it is the global warming trends that led to the declining deer populations just because the coincident  （这个单词好像不对吧，coincident是形容词啊） that the report was issued when the global temperature was starting to ascend.【不知道你注意没有，下面三个句子都是it is开头的，这样是不是有点重复累赘啊，换个句式啊】 It is sure that this reasoning is full of flaws. It might be the number of the deer that the hunters shot has increased, which could also cause the declining populations of the deer during this warming period. Or it is possible that some new species which eat the deer appeared. This might be another【possible】 reason to the declining trend. The author should take an investigation to show that there were no other reasons lead to the declining trend[这句话好像错了，你看看，两个谓语], otherwise I will not be convinced that it was the global warming trends murdered the deer.

Secondly, the arguer claimed that the global warming trends have caused the sea ice to melt. However, as far as we know, this trend didn’t appear all over the world. It is uncertain whether the global warming trends have had an influence in the area where the arctic deer lives in. If the writer could not offer evidences to prove the ice of Canada’s arctic region has melted by an increasing temperature, I will not believe that the deer cannot travel on the ice any more.【写的不错，有理有据，知识广博啊】

What’s more, even if the global warming trends have had an influence in Canada’s arctic region, it does not mean that the trend hindered deer’s migration. It is possible that the temperature was high enough to kill the plants which the deer eat but did not melt the ice. We are reasonable to believe the deer is dead of starvation but the melted ice. Or they were dead of both of the two reasons, and there might be other reasons lead to there death. Just saying it is the melted ice that caused there death is unfair and unreasonable.【我觉得最后一句话写的不太好，这样感觉好像是雪化了把鹿给冻死了，其实是雪化了鹿无法踩着冰迁徙了，然后困住了就没有食物。】

In sum, the author drew a conclusion with some flaws which I wrote above. To improve the argument, the【writer】 should provide evidences to prove that the global warming trends do【do用得好啊】 have melted ice【ice和melted是不是应该交换位置啊？】in Canada’s arctic region, and the declining populations of the deer is because【呵呵，is because可以这样用吗？是不是有点中国英语的嫌疑？】 they could not migrate from one island to another but the other reasons.

[ 本帖最后由 hds123523000 于 2008-2-6 13:23 编辑 ]