argument45 [Jet小组]第三次作业

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Argument 45
The following appeared as an editorial in a wildlife journal.
“Arctic deer live on islands in Canada’s arctic region. They search for food by moving over ice from island to island during the course of a year. Their habitat is limited to areas warm enough to sustain the plant on which they feed, and cold enough, at least some of the year, for the ice to cover the sea separating the islands, allowing the deer to travel over it. Unfortunately, according to the reports from local hunters, the deer populations are declining. Since these reports coincide with recent global warming trends that have caused the sea ice to melt, we can conclude that the decline in arctic deer population is the result of deer being unable to following their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea.”

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The author draws a conclusion that the population of deer in arctic declines because deer can’t follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. To support his conclusion, the author reasons survey from local hunters and global warming. But in my opinion, these evidences can not lead to the author’s conclusion, and there are some flaws in the author’s analysis.
First of all, the survey according to the local hunters is not eloquent. There is a possibility that the reports are not comprehensive. To make a convincing report, it must cover all location in this area, which is not mentioned in this argument. On the assumption that these reports are comprehensive and reliable, changes may happen to deer’s habitat, which leads to the local hunter’s report unconvincing. Therefore, the assumption of decline of arctic deer is not unconvincing.
Secondly, under the condition of global warming, there is a possibility that warmer climate keep the arctic still. As everyone knows, there need some heat to make the ice melt. If the heat from global warming can not result in ice melting, their migration patterns will not change.
Finally, author is too confident about the factor that leads the decline of arctic population in arctic area. There are so many reasons may cause to arctic deer declining., such as, over-hunting,  plant shortage. What’s more, as a biology normal sense, every kind of animal has the ability of being accustomed to the surrounding environment, if its old living-pattern changes. So , attribution to age-old migration is unreasonable.
In sum, the author’s argument is too simple and unconvincing. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should try to find more evidence to support deer decline and why the deer decline.

dreamstringUID: 2389201

The author draws a conclusion that the population of deer in arctic declines(declined) because deer can’t follow their age-old migration patterns across the frozen sea. To support his conclusion, the author reasons survey from local hunters and global warming(这里用并列不好，global warming不是一个survey). But in my opinion, these evidences can not lead to the author’s conclusion, and there are some flaws in the(删去) author’s analysis.
First of all, the survey according to the local hunters is not eloquent. There is a possibility that the reports are not comprehensive. To make a convincing report, it must cover all location in this area, which is not mentioned in this argument. On the assumption that these reports are comprehensive and reliable, changes may happen to deer’s habitat, which leads to the local hunter’s report unconvincing. Therefore, the assumption of decline of arctic deer is not unconvincing(连着出现两个unconvincing不太好，换一个同义词).
Secondly, under the condition(in conditions) of global warming, there is a possibility that warmer climate keep the arctic still. As everyone knows, there need(it needs) some heat to make the ice melt. If the heat from global warming can not result in ice melting, their migration patterns will not change.
Finally, author(the author) is too confident about(with) the factor(这个factor指什么？应该说明一下) that leads the decline of arctic population in arctic area. There are so many reasons may cause to arctic deer declining., such as, (逗号删去)over-hunting,  plant(plants吧？) shortage. What’s more, as a biology normal sense, every kind of animal(each kind of animals) has the ability of being accustomed to the surrounding environment, if its old living-pattern changes. So , attribution to age-old migration is unreasonable.
In sum, the author’s argument is too simple and unconvincing. To strengthen the conclusion, the author should try to find more evidence to support deer decline(应该是支持他所声称的deer decline的原因，而不是支持deer decline，deer decline是一个事实，不需要作者support)and why the deer decline.

总结一下，author的错误基本都找出来了，就是在论述的过程中应该再细节化具体化一些。找到作者的论述考虑不周全，那就说一些“还有哪些情况作者没有考虑到”，这样才能使考官被你说服。你说呢？