argument167 飞越dreams小组第5次作业

gre_killer_wuUID: 2451830

argument167 飞越dreams小组第5次作业 by gre_killer_wu

Argument 167
A folk remedy* for insomnia, the scent in lavender flowers, has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. During the second week, the volunteers discontinued their medication. As a result, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. This shows that over a short period of time lavender cures insomnia.

A folk remedy is usually a plant-based form of treatment common to traditional forms of medicine, ones that developed before the advent of modern medical services and technology.

字数：308   

A control must be set in a scientific experiment. However, there is no control in the study. The author seems to make a hasty conclusion before a more comprehensive study.

What the article tells us is that 30 patients’ chronic insomnias were cured after they had slept in a controlled room for three weeks, where lavender-scented pillows are settled. Without a compare to the control, we can speculate that other factors in the study, not the pillows, result in the alleviation of these patients insomnia. In fact, the patients may have taken participation in some psychological treatments for insomnia. Or perhaps they listened to some kind of music which may contribute to relaxation and easiness. Evidences provided by the article are insufficient.

Even concede that lavender flower’s odor has contributed to the alleviation of these patients’ chronic insomnias in a short period of time, how about the persistent effectiveness in a long period of time? Some patients’ insomnias, which are alleviated or cured in a few weeks, may relapse after half a year. Obviously, the article does not show any evidence to proof the persistent effectiveness of this treatment. And we should also ask about the effectiveness of this treatment to serious insomnia, which has not demonstrated by this article. It seems that the author make a too broad conclusion about the treatment’s effectiveness in all kinds of insomnias.

The side effect should also be studied clearly. Smelling scents of some kinds of flowers for an excessively long time, may result in allergy and discomfort, or even some unexpected diseases to some people, especially when the odors are relatively great. However, the author ignored the important fact.

In sum, the absence of evidence to proof the effectiveness of this folk remedy, and the lack of study about possible side effects, make the conclusion unpersuasive, or even not responsible.

yolanda419UID: 2420192

A control must be set in a scientific experiment. However, there is no control in the study. The author seems to make a hasty conclusion before a more comprehensive study.这样的开头似乎有点唐突，而且没有深入讨论

What the article tells us is that 30 patients’ chronic insomnias were cured after they had slept in a controlled room for three weeks, where lavender-scented pillows are settled. Without a compare to the control（other factors不是对比的范围吧，改成：ruling out other affected factors 可能好点）, we can speculate that other factors in the study, not the pillows, result in the alleviation of these patients’ insomnia. In fact, the patients may have taken participation in some psychological treatments for insomnia. Or perhaps they listened to some kind of music which may contribute to relaxation and easiness (when they slept in the controlled room). Evidences provided by the article are insufficient.

Even concede that lavender flower’s odor has contributed to the alleviation of these patients’ chronic insomnias in a short period of time, how about the persistent effectiveness in a long period of time? Some patients’ insomnias, which are alleviated or cured in a few weeks, may relapse after half a year. Obviously, the article does not show any evidence to proof the persistent effectiveness of this treatment. And we should also ask about the effectiveness of this treatment to serious insomnia, which has not demonstrated by this article. It seems that the author make a too broad conclusion about the treatment’s effectiveness in all kinds of insomnias.

The side effect should also be studied clearly. Smelling scents of some kinds of flowers for an excessively long time may result in allergy and discomfort, or even some unexpected diseases to some people, especially when the odors are relatively great. However, the author ignored the important fact.

In sum, the absence of evidence to proof the effectiveness of this folk remedy, and the lack of study about possible side effects, make the conclusion unpersuasive, or even not responsible.                                                   

评价：1、文章的开头跟结尾都显得有点仓促，不知作者是不是有限时。
        2、每个攻击点的讨论感觉还不够深入，且过渡得不是很好，虽然我也只是菜鸟。。。。
继续加油~~~~:)