argument147。。。fantsay group。。。必回拍

foreveraUID: 202035

147.The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."


正文：
In the argument the, providing a recent survey and some analysis based on the survey, speaker asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to reverse the decreasing trend and have a increasing amount of sales. The claim seems to be reasonable at the first glance, but with further analysis, it appears to suffer from several logical fallacies as follows.

Primarily, the credibility of the conclusion drawn in the survey-game players desire the kind of video games which provide lifelike graphic much- is open to doubt. The author does not offer necessary information to confirm that the players being asked in the survey were selected randomly. Thus, I have enough reasons to doubt that the survey only asked those who prefer games of high graphic quality, and further the part of these players was only of a little percentage. It is quite possible that most of game players are prone to choose the games easy to operate or with better stories. Accordingly, based on this hypothesis I presented above, the game of Whirlwind were only attractive to only a small part of players.

What's more, even grant that the conclusion of the survey is in accordance with the reality-most of the players desire the quality of graphics much, as for the games need most up-to-date computers, insufficient evidence is provided to show that the common computer condition can match the requirement of Whirlwind's games. Possibly, the requirement of Whirlwind's games in graphics is far more advanced than the development of computer. So without enough support in hardware, the players would not be inclined to buy the product of Whirlwind, even though the games are excellent in graphics.

In addition, the author offers insufficient data to convince me that people 10 to 25 years old was the group who like video games most and have enough time to enjoy the games. The reality, possibly, reveals that the people below 10 or above 25 are the very group who are fond of video games most. Or, people age 10 to 25 years old are busy studying in schools, and then have little time to play video games. So, to this extent, aiming at a improper target, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old worked efficiently to enlarge Whirlwind’s sales.

To make the assertion more convincing, the author needs to present more detail information and evidence to confirm the credibility of the survey and analysis related to the survey.

[ Last edited by forevera on 2005-8-25 at 13:38 ]

cxlbread84UID: 184012

In the argument the speaker, providing a recent survey and some analysis based on the survey, asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to reverse the decreasing trend and have a increasing amount of sales. The claim seems to be reasonable at the first glance, but with further analysis, it appears to suffer from several logical fallacies as follows.（第一段不落俗套，不错）

Primarily, the credibility of the conclusion drawn in the survey-game players desire the kind of video games which provide lifelike graphic much- is open to doubt. The author does not offer necessary information to confirm that the players being asked in the survey were selected randomly. Thus, I have enough reasons to doubt that the survey only asked those who prefer games of high graphic quality, and further the part of these players was only of a little percentage. It is quite possible that most of game players are prone to choose the games easy to operate or with better stories. Accordingly, based on this hypothesis I presented above, the game of Whirlwind were only attractive to only a small part of players. （有具体例子分析，是高分的必要条件，楼主这段好啊）
What's more, even grant that the conclusion of the survey is in accordance with the reality-most of the players desire the quality of graphics much, as for the games need most up-to-date computers, insufficient evidence is provided to show that the common computer condition can match the requirement of Whirlwind's games. Possibly, the requirement of Whirlwind's games in graphics is far more advanced than the development of computer. So without enough support in hardware, the players would not be inclined to buy the product of Whirlwind, even though the games are excellent in graphics.（so 用在句首大写， 放假上托福班时戴云老师说不太规范， 建议用therefore， 一点小意见）

In addition, the author offers insufficient data to convince me that people 10 to 25 years old was the group who like video games most and have enough time to enjoy the games. The reality, possibly, reveals that the people below 10 or above 25 are the very group who are fond of video games most. Or, people age 10 to 25 years old are busy studying in schools, and then have little time to play video games. So, to this extent, aiming at a improper target, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old worked efficiently to enlarge Whirlwind’s sales.

To make the assertion more convincing, the author needs to present more detail information and evidence to confirm the credibility of the survey and analysis related to the survey.

有空看看我的argument https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1773446
今天的issue  https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=326290

gzj123UID: 192680

In the argument the, providing a recent survey and some analysis based on the survey, speaker asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to reverse the decreasing trend and have a increasing amount of sales. The claim seems to be reasonable at the first glance, but with further analysis, it appears to suffer from several logical fallacies as follows.简洁

Primarily, the credibility of the conclusion drawn in the survey-game players desire the kind of video games which provide lifelike graphic much- is open to doubt. The author does not offer necessary information to confirm that the players being asked in the survey were selected randomly. Thus, I have enough reasons什么reason?写出来 to doubt that the survey only asked those who prefer games of high graphic quality, and further the part of these players was only of a little percentage. It is quite possible that most of game players are prone to choose the games easy to operate or with better stories. Accordingly, based on this hypothesis I presented above, the game of Whirlwind were only attractive to only a small part of players.

What's more, even grant that the conclusion of the survey is in accordance with the reality-most of the players desire the quality of graphics much, as for the games need most up-to-date computers, insufficient evidence is provided to show that the common computer condition can match the requirement of Whirlwind's games. Possibly, the requirement of Whirlwind's games in graphics is far more advanced than the development of computer. So without enough support in hardware, the players would not be inclined to buy the product of Whirlwind, even though the games are excellent in graphics.

In addition, the author offers insufficient data to convince me that people 10 to 25 years old 对common sense攻击不好was the group who like video games most and have enough time to enjoy the games. The reality, possibly,不能全是possible,要拿出东西来 reveals that the people below 10 or above 25 are the very group who are fond of video games most. Or, people age 10 to 25 years old are busy studying in schools, and then have little time to play video games. So, to this extent, aiming at a improper target, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old worked efficiently to enlarge Whirlwind’s sales.
这段理由和第一段有重复,不好,可举竞争激烈,价格过高,设计水平低等

To make the assertion more convincing, the author needs to present more detail information and evidence to confirm the credibility of the survey and analysis related to the survey
建议:可学fileda同学编些数据等

gzj123UID: 192680

我的issue34
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... p;page=1#pid1783655
望互拍

杨威利UID: 2125105

首先，当前游戏界重视画质是共识，无论剧情多好，操作多方便，画质太差，游戏是卖不出去的，因此所有类型的游戏都重视画质，不仅ACT、RTS，RPG也如是，OL游戏更是。

其次，我发现的一个漏洞楼主没有论述的是，题目中调查和针对的都是video games，个人理解为家用机上的电子游戏，而不是pc games，在家用机上，硬件的需求要远低于pc games，因此题目中说的要求最新式计算机的问题是不存在的，市场上最为风靡的SONY公司的Play Station系列主机，也只更新了一次（PS2），即将第二次大规模技术更新（PS3），因此不会因为硬件配置不足而影响游戏的销量和画面展示。

再次，对于楼主文中B2段，现在的情形是，PC游戏对于显示效果的不断追求，正是促使消费类显卡技术更新的一大动力，而不是传统认为的游戏画面必须严格受限于显卡能力之内。尽管题目应该说的不是PC游戏。

最后，同意一下3楼的意见，10到25岁，这个年龄是否是注重画面的游戏的主要消费群体，是可以举出例子来的。比如我就认识很多接近30岁的人用工资买来PS2，每周甚至每天在家玩一会游戏，因为游戏可以使他们放松，消除一整天工作的疲劳。因此游戏的消费群体至少应当扩大到30岁以下。  另外，针对不同年龄段，他们对游戏的需求也是不一致的，比如10到15岁和18-25岁的群体对游戏的需求就不会完全相同，因此游戏设计应当有一定的弹性以符合不同年龄段的主要需求，或者针对某一个或几个特定年龄段设计。

foreveraUID: 202035

仙剑画面好吗？现在不是还有很多人在玩？而且题目中就是只说了画面，就应该说它的对立面了。。。ARU只是找错误。。。扯的太远就不好了
video game也包括PS2的那些。。。

andycuiUID: 2132332

In the argument, ETS mentions that video games need up-to-date computer, so actually it is not necessary to consider PS2 as it is not the intend of ETS.  

I attach my article here and hope somebody can give some suggestions and correct mistakes. Thank you


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The arguer states that the sales of Whirlwind video games will have an extreme increase in next few months although the sales have declined over the past two years. In order to support his claim, the arguer provides the truth that the company have introduced new games with lifelike graphics based on the result of the survey. The statement seems reasonable and convincing at the first glance. However, a careful examination reveals that the statement suffers from several problems which render it unpersuasive.

First of all, the arguer has deficient evidences to support that sales of newly produced games will increase. The result of the survey shows that lively graphics is the most important factor in video games and they prefer games with lifelike graphics. However, it does not mean that players will buy the newly produced games by the company. In fact, as we know, there are many other factors needs to consider in a video game like stories created in the game and the price of the game. Thus, in order to make sure games are welcomed and have a big sale, the company needs to take care of all factors and better survey on the popularity of new games.

In order to support lifelike graphics, the computer must have a very good graphic card in order to support running of the game, otherwise, there will be discontinuity when playing games or even the computer can not run the game. So there is one question that whether young players have up-to-date computers or whether they will upgrade their graphic cards and other components in order to play companies' new games. It is common that young players have small budgets and may not be able to upgrade their computers so urgent. In that case, it is very unlikely for them to buy new games just simply because they can not run them in their computers. So the company needs to find the evidence that players can run games well in their computers or they will upgrade computers if they buy games.

Popular games do not guarantee that sales will be increased. There are some possible reasons for that. In certain places, the copyright is not well protected so that many people will not buy video games from the company. Instead, they will choose to buy those copies produced illegally because the price is much lower. Sales of video games dropped over past years may be due to illegal copies of games in the market. In that case, no matter how fantastic the new game is, sales will still remain at the same level or even worse because it is possible that more and more people will choose to buy the illegal copies. As discussed above, the arguer needs to research on these issues.

In conclusion, the statement lacks of credibility as analyzed. To enhance it, the arguer needs to find evidences to prove that new games can be run in normal computers and players would like to buy new games bad are willing to upgrade their computers as well as the correlation between sales and popularity of games.

one way streetUID: 194590

In the argument the author, providing(provides) a recent survey and some analysis based on the survey, then the speaker asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to reverse the decreasing trend and have a(an) increasing amount of sales. The claim seems to be reasonable at the first glance, but with further analysis, it appears to suffer from several logical fallacies as follows. 开头还是很明了的，也没什么多余的话

Primarily, the credibility of the conclusion drawn in（by） the survey--------game players desire the kind of video games which provide lifelike graphic much- is open to doubt. The author does not offer necessary information to confirm that the players being(that have been) asked in the survey were selected randomly. Thus, I have enough reasons to doubt that the survey only asked those who prefer games of high graphic quality,（建议这句话改为those who prefer the games of high graphic quality are more likely to response to the survey） and further the part of these players was only of a little percentage. It is quite possible that most of game players are prone to choose the games easy to operate or with better stories. (这个他因找的很好)Accordingly, based on this hypothesis I presented above, the game of Whirlwind were only attractive to only a small part of players. （建议总结改为对调查结果的客观性和可行度的怀疑）

What's more, even grant that the conclusion of the survey is in accordance with the reality-most of the players desire the quality of graphics much, as for the games need most up-to-date computers, insufficient（个人认为不是insufficient,而是none 不过是小问题了，不打紧） evidence is provided to show that the common computer condition can match the requirement of Whirlwind's games. Possibly, the requirement of Whirlwind's games in graphics is far more advanced than the development of computer. So without enough support in hardware, the players would not be inclined to buy the product of Whirlwind, even though the games are excellent in graphics.（这段不错，没什么问题，逻辑关系也很清楚）

In addition, the author offers insufficient data to convince me that people 10 to 25 years old was the group who like video games most and have enough time to enjoy the games. The reality, possibly, reveals that the people below 10 or above 25 are the very group who are fond of video games most. Or, people age 10 to 25 years old are busy studying in schools, and then have little time to play video games. So, to this extent, aiming at a improper target, the extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old worked efficiently to enlarge Whirlwind’s sales.
建议这段话要指出因为这个年龄段的人没时间玩，所以购买的需求不是很强，作者最后要回落到购买上来，因为文章的结论毕竟是预测whirlwind的游戏销售会增加。

To make the assertion more convincing, the author needs to present more detail information and evidence to confirm the credibility of the survey and analysis related to the survey.

整体感觉很好，主要错误也都指明了，论述也很到位，逻辑也很清晰，没什么大问题，在细节的地方多注意就更好了。
个人意见，欢迎讨论！:) 非常感谢你的修改，提出了很好的意见，我会仔细修改的，谢谢！