issue184 ( 优秀习作, 推荐大家都来看看-------------by 酸奶)

happypearlUID: 206945

写的非常不错,我提了一些小小的意见,作了一个小点评,把happypearl的这篇ISSUE推荐给大家   ----酸奶

TOPIC：ISSUE 184 - "It is a grave mistake to theorize before one has data."

提纲
1、承认数据资料对建立理论的重要性
2、指出也有一些当今被接受的理论在建立之处只是假说
3、如果过分强调建立理论前的数据资料，会阻碍新理论建立

During the formation of any theories, data plays an important and indispensable role. Some people even believe that it is a grave mistake to theorize before one has data. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the significance of data for theory establishment. Meanwhile, it should also be pointed out that not all theories are based on data, and that the excessive emphasis on data will barricade the emergence of many wise and far-sighted theories.

Admittedly, adequate data is a vital factor for building up a convincing theory. In various academic fields, data lays the important foundation for analyzing, reasoning, inducing and concluding, the process of which can give birth to theories. Without necessary data, many researches will become nothing but pure imagination and their results do not deserve people's attention and time. Take the formation of genetics theory for example. Mendel, the father of genetics, devoted eight years in gathering data of the biological characteristics of peas in several generations. Based on the data he acquired, Mendel made important discoveries on the laws of heritance among generations, thereby establishing the theory of genetics. When the theory was refined later, Mendel's data from experiments were still proved to be of great value. This example shows that data are essential for significant discoveries that help to establish new theories. If it were not for the support from data, many researchers can never achieve inspirations on new ideas, not to mentions theories.

Nevertheless, there are also many far-reaching theories that start from great assumptions. History tells us that not all theories, which have been accepted today, are based on exact data at the embryonic stage. Some theories are brought by scientists’ assumptions, which are founded on affluent experiences, rather than objective data. The establishment of continental drift theory can be an apt illustration for this point. Inspired by the world map, Wenger, an American geologist, found that the main continents' edge could roughly match together. Hence, he assumed the possibility of continents drifting to their current position from the original big chunk. With this great assumption, Wenger proposed the continental drift theory. Years later, he founded the biological similarities between the matched continental edges and further proved his theory. Apparently, some theories are not founded on concrete data, but were born as assumptions, which could be substantiated with data afterward. Accordingly, I hold that apart from theorizing with previous data, making assumptions is another way for building theories.

Exclusive emphasis on data before theorizing will probably hamper the development of innovative theories. If we take it for granted that people cannot theorize until the data is ready, then scholars will probably postpone theorizing forever. Because theories that are based on assumptions, as is mentioned above, may never be established since their supporting data is usually acquired later. It is due to the assumed theory that a series of researches and experiments, which follow its methodology, are set in motions and further substantiate the theory. For example, Hawking's theory of the world's origin is considered a masterpiece. However, according to the speaker's principle, Hawking's theory is purely a mistake since no substantial data is quoted to support it. It is ridiculous to think so because, as a matter of fact, current research conditions are still inadequate for gathering data to support Hawking's theory, which is wildly acknowledged in scientific world. We can believe that there surely will be one day when scientists can find out clues and persuasive data, since Hawking's ideas have already been implanted in many scientists' mind.

In short, I concede the importance of data in the theorizing process. However, I believe there are two ways of building theories. One is concluded from sufficient data, while the other is based on assumptions but will later be proved by data. It is unnecessary that theorizing before one has data is a grave mistake.

[ 本帖最后由 yogurt4 于 2006-1-22 00:55 编辑 ]

yogurt4UID: 198389

好的   我认真的看看

yogurt4UID: 198389

TOPIC：ISSUE 184 - "It is a grave mistake to theorize before one has data."
theorize: to form a theory about; to propose as a theory.

提纲
1、承认数据资料对建立理论的重要性
2、指出也有一些当今被接受的理论在建立之处只是假说
3、如果过分强调建立理论前的数据资料，会阻碍新理论建立



During the formation of any theories  any theory吧, data plays an important and indispensable role. Some people even believe that it is a grave mistake to theorize before one has data.  1&2 As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with the significance of data for theory establishment. Meanwhile, it should also be pointed out that not all theories are based on data, and that the excessive emphasis on data will barricade the emergence of many wise and far-sighted theories as far as 到这里是3  Wise theory，搭配有点怪。.

我从别的帖子里粘了些东西过来，
开头要写些什么：
1 交待与主题有关的背景（一两句话）

2 将重点转到主题上，使读者明白文章的中心集中在什么问题上（一两句）

3 在开头的结束时，用以两句话声明在topic上的立场，也就是文章的主题。

happypearl写的开头,3条都做到了，第1条没有时间可以不写的。
对于AW作文，第3条表明自己的立场是很重要的，注意不要只说I agree/disagree就完了，一定要写明自己赞成/反对的理由。

Admittedly让步 , adequate data is a vital factor for building up a convincing theory. In various academic fields, data lays the important foundation for analyzing, reasoning, inducing and concluding, the process of which can give birth to theories.简单清晰的TS，后面跟过渡。 Without necessary data, many researches will become nothing but pure imagination and their results do not deserve people's attention and time.这里有点问题。没有数据的research怎么是pure imagination？至多是没有信服的theory作为结果。 Take the formation of genetics theory for example. Mendel, the father of genetics, devoted eight years in gathering data of the biological characteristics of peas in several generations. Based on the data he acquired, Mendel made important discoveries on the laws of heritance  这个是laws of heredity吧，Mendel’s Laws, basis of modern hereditary theory…老孟的 among generations, thereby establishing the theory of genetics. When the theory was refined later, Mendel's 这里加个形容词，“大量的”，感觉更好。 data from experiments were still proved to be of great value. This example shows that data are essential for significant discoveries that help to establish new theories. If it were not for the support from data, many researchers can never achieve inspirations achieve inspiration这样的搭配不对 on new ideas, not to mentions theories.

例子说完了有段内小结。例子很好的支持了data对theory的重要性。较为少见的例子，贴合题目的同时比较新颖。

Nevertheless 信号词2，转折开始了, there are also many far-reaching theories that start from great assumptions. History tells us that not all theories, which have been widely accepted today since the first day of their establishments , are based on exact data at the embryonic stage. Some theories are brought about  by scientists’ assumptions, which are founded on affluent experiences, rather than objective data. The establishment of continental drift theory can be an apt illustration for this point. Inspired by the world map, Wenger, an American geologist Wegener, German , found that the main continents' edge could roughly match together. Hence, he assumed the possibility of continents drifting to their current position from the original big chunk. With this great assumption, Wenger proposed the continental drift theory. Years later, he founded the biological similarities between the matched continental edges and further proved his theory. Apparently, some theories are not founded on concrete data, but were born as assumptions, which could be substantiated with data afterward. Accordingly, I hold that apart from theorizing with previous data, making assumptions is another way for building theories.

漂亮！

Exclusive emphasis on data before theorizing will probably hamper the development of innovative theories. If we take it for granted that people cannot theorize until the data is ready, then scholars will probably postpone theorizing forever. Because theories that are based on assumptions, as is mentioned above, may never be established since their supporting data is usually acquired later. 后面跟着解释，有些supporting data是要在理论的指导下researchers才会去collect的 It is due to the assumed theory that a series of researches and experiments, which follow its methodology, are set in motions and further substantiate the theory. 这个句子好像有问题 For example, Hawking's theory of the world's origin is considered a masterpiece. However, according to the speaker's principle, Hawking's theory is purely a mistake since no substantial data is quoted to support it. It is ridiculous to think so because, as a matter of fact, current research conditions are still inadequate for gathering data to support Hawking's theory, which is wildly widely acknowledged in scientific world. We can believe that there surely will be one day when scientists can find out clues and persuasive data, since Hawking's ideas have already been implanted in many scientists' mind.

感觉这一段的结尾没有上一段的结尾漂亮。B2说有些理论来自某种假设和灵感，这一段可以直接说有些人的理论和思想transcend时代，没有measurement可以提供数据。最后提出对未来的展望，好像就怕读者对霍金的理论有什么质疑。其实前面几次accepted, considered强调够了，即使这个理论是错的又有什么关系？ 科学本来就是在颠覆中前进，theory不一定非要是对的。感觉多少受到了B2的影响。

In short, I concede the importance of data in the theorizing process. However, I believe there are at least two ways of building theories. One is concluded from sufficient data, while the other is based on assumptions but will later be proved by data. It is unnecessary arbitrary to say  that theorizing before one has data is a grave mistake.

结构工整，开头结尾都不错，段与段之间的衔接，段内的过渡与小结，非常清晰。语言流畅，没有多余的句子。例子也很贴实。
调了一些小毛病，瑕不掩瑜。至少是5分。

happypearlUID: 206945

谢谢酸奶的修改！
其实这篇写了一个小时多一点，例子都是以前的同主题文章里找来的，也算是stand on the giant's shoulder
练了快20天，到现在还限时困难，继续努力哦！

果小冻UID: 208370

学习中，我写了都恩久了，还这么烂，汗呀汗。。。

胤禛UID: 2148054

en thank u (hp and yogurt)

collins_liuUID: 190687

640多个词。。。。怎么写得到阿在考场上。。。。。

yogurt4UID: 198389

原帖由 collins_liu 于 2006-1-22 20:09 发表
640多个词。。。。怎么写得到阿在考场上。。。。。

ISSUE考试的时候写700字的人还是比较多的呀:)

collins_liuUID: 190687

原帖由 yogurt4 于 2006-1-22 20:23 发表


ISSUE考试的时候写700字的人还是比较多的呀:)

版主JJ吓唬人。。。。。:(

yogurt4UID: 198389

原帖由 collins_liu 于 2006-1-22 20:30 发表

版主JJ吓唬人。。。。。:(

木有木有  
虽然光谈字数有点没道理
但是一般来说
ISSUE写400字是基本要求
大多数同学考试的时候在450-550左右
一个题目要写清楚,一般是上550的
这个是5分作文比较常见的槛

700字是有人的  很多考了5.5 ,6分作文的人都写了700的ISSUE,600的阿狗
你可以找老的经验贴看的

azaleaUID: 196122

很有收获 谢谢！

happy_shirleyUID: 2155516

1个小时能写成这样很不错哦！
学习学习

lincoln_8513UID: 2132238

看来还要加把油.

savagettUID: 2134686

今天看北美范文也正好看到这篇了,上面都是说理得.
楼主的例子真的非常贴切,我要好好学习学习~~~

nocturne05UID: 2280839

好好学习学习~~~