作文练习册。leezhengjiang

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

Do you agree or not: playing sports give you more lessons about the life
Brainstorm: Life Open and down
Teamwork
Practice make perfect
Failure is the mother of success

My famous activities there are three: working, sleeping and sports. Working is essential for me to realize who I am. Sleeping is for mostly night when moon domains the sky. Playing sports happens only occasionally, maybe one or two times a week, playing basketball or running, however, it really plays an indispensable role for life’s balance.

Staying in lab or the library for a longer than three days, I can focus on nothing except wondering my mind here and there. This time, as I can imagine, the impatient factor in my blood is somewhat exposing, and my body seriously requires for a muscle-exercising. So I come to playground, with three or five friends, we play heavily basketball mostly till we get thoroughly saturated, somehow this wetted body indicates me the blood has come down. I then back for a shower. And with such a mild heart beaten, I can put in my study for maybe another three days. Sports help me find a peace of inner mind, which is not easily found in books , experiments, or sleeping.

Playing sports is helpful, not only for an uprising heart, but teaches me something about persisting. Working at indoor rooms, I mean, matters without much of manual labors, usually changes person into laziness unconsciously. Once I spend one day maybe less before the computer; the formerly clear idea in mind, what I plan to do at hand gradually obscures. I suggest myself maybe a cup of coffee will help, while most time it not works well, still I simply aimlessly surfing on line. At the right time, my father comes in and asks me to jog with him. So we have a running and talking time by the school ground, which often takes two more hours, and which also surprises me a lot that I can even run uninterruptedly for such a long time. After several times jogging with father at afternoon, I acknowledge the good habit to persisting on what I am doing right now, no matter how much time it takes.

Besides the above, a person takes steps to playing sports can excavate and experience more wisdom in life,
such as ‘practice make perfect’, ‘failure is the mother of success’ and more.

Except working, I prefer playing sports to sleeping in my life.

binghuoshenlongUID: 2670882

看附件 请及时回改

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

817, tv or television, which has more effects.
There is no permanent and direct way to campare(compare) the importance of the TV and television. Just like the question (that) which means more to you, your arms or your legs? What we can say is that they both are involved in our life. The reason why （好像记得说reason和why联用不对）the TV and television are invented is they function a specific part of our society, our daily life and spirit life.

Nowadays, it is really rate（是这个词吗rare） to a family without TV which seems to be essential proportion of the home. When back home,(这个从句的主语和主句的不同，就不能省了) it relax us to see some soap opera, and the news programme can help us know about our world, in addition, some history or science programme can broaden our knowledge. What's better still, we feel warm and satisfied when all the family sit together watching the same programme. Someone says watching TV takes a lot of time belonging to the communication, however, in my view it enhances the communication between/among
the members of the family, because rare can we have much time to sit together and (缺少动词吧)
many topics about the TV plots of actors. So the TV is dispensable for us.

It is the same to the telephone which is really great help for us to call someone no matter/whether we just greet or have some emergency. In ancient times, the letter is the only way to communicate between people in different places; it/which
would take so long time to deliver (it) by the postmen or carrier pigeon. Then how about the message is an emergency, we can just be anxious but unable to do anything. (用这个句型we can do nothing but)

Whereas, it will not go far to see the convenience the telephone takes to us. Just dial and wait a few minutes, then talk whatever you want to with the other side. Therefore, the telephone is definitely an efficient tool to make the communication rapidly and correctly.(没论述关于correctly吧，用这个词了，我认为就不准确了)

Then/on the other hand, conversely,总比then表达的好吧） we can try to imagine the life without TV or television. When the TV is unavailable, can our after-work life be very colorful? To some extent, we are deaf and blind because we can not access to the international or even the local news, and the wonderful series and so forth.
And we can not keep in touch with our loving family to help them deal with some tough stuff or just say hi to them. For the modern people, it is just like a nightmare to live the life without the TV and television.

In conclusion, TV and telephone seperately act their own role in accomplishing the mission the human beings assign then. It is almost impossible to evaluate the effects and convenience they take to us. Besides, it is meaningless to think about this question painstakingly. Just remember, let the TV and telephone accomplish their functions, and let our life become more wonderful and convenient.



1 有些词汇的错误（放到word里面有红色下划波浪线的），就没有帮你改了。


2 看完了，感觉很老练。只是这些话，味道比较淡，哎。因为我老想“语出惊人”呵呵，，然而，到后来却有点“中体西用”了。。非常感谢你给我的意见。
第一次帮别人看作文，自己水平不高，指出的是一些小错，希望多多交流哟。

3 觉得观点还可以发展更好点。虽然有些范文和你的作文感觉很像
2# binghuoshenlong

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

Should people make big decisions alone?
Brainstorm: what’s big decision?
What’s affected?

Big decisions, to most common, sounds like emergencies in life. Such as choosing the right university to attend, marrying with the right woman/man, studying abroad or at home, just list a few name.  For an emergency, as I have said above, one person has to deal with oneself. Besides, each and every one’s situation always virtually exists huge or delicate differences, others can not make a better decision than oneself.

The most conspicuous fact is that the consequence of the decision would not directly affect anyone else but oneself. Some people may consider parents always be there with us when we face a difficulty. While  they never change the situation we are in, just caring about the children, which I mean, they only help in the eyes of parents to children, but not care about what we are worrying at hand. We children at most reach psychological comfort. Only one simple situation may help us to learn about the function of family help: once I was tired of my profession, I told my parents how I would keep on, they really gave me a lots encourage what sounds comfortable all time, except that I got nothing constructive advice. So later I had to stand on my own feet to make decision to change the major.

Another aspect that can not be ignorable is when person makes a decision related to oneself situation, the engine of power will burst out infinitely. While decision made by others would never bring person initiative power, for some reason, I believe in such cases we actually are chosen to be someone or to do things. If we feel passive, no doubt, we can not break out enormous enthusiasm and passion. As the example above, when I decided to change my major, I had to admit that my schedule is more efficient, and I am saturated with motivation. Eventually, I made it to access my feverous field.

From what I have experienced, I am sure soundly that big decision can never be made by others, if you mean to make a difference.


每天练习一篇，每天提高一点。 希望大家帮助改正我的“中式思维”，以前写的太少了，没感觉自己的思维模式其实有很大问题。。 多谢各位前来拍砖。。。:kiss::kiss:

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

Money should be used for exploring space or basic need?
Brainstorm:

Basic need: hungry children, food, water, education, and environment;
for space: human civilization prosperity, practical value

When we see the photographs of hungry children, it’s hard t for us to make the decision to utility money (billions of dollars) for exploring space, but not for the basic need. But that’s just what we should do. We don’t need hungry children, but we need space exploring. (children don’t need to be hungry, we do need to explore space,语言表达力，中式思维太重？)
right now, government has as much money as necessary to feed everyone, it’s the distraction system that the key issues lie in. Our curiosity to explore space should never be blocked by such problem that we can work out well on earth.
At the very beginning of human history, it’s the stuffed curiosity that taking our ancestor out of the African plain, at which time, if we would like to image, lack of food, water and self-defendant arms, threat of hazardous mammals, such as lions, tigers and snakes, and nature calamities, like shower, thunder, and forest fire, and the list will go on, so many of challenging never stop our human nature to explore new filed. How can we modern human just stop here for a little difficulty? At least, difficulty now in front of us can be solved if we deal with the richer ones to make them a little sacrifice anyway.

Exploring space on one thing is fitted our nature of curiosity, on the other hand, is based on promoting human civilization prosperity from a long-time term. As the sharp development of technology, earth is becoming smaller and smaller with minimal amount of nature resources, fuels, clean water and feasible land, it is an inevitable trend to find out some a planet which will suit human living. Taking the most developed country, the USA as an example, they have explored the sun system from Venus to Pluto; they have launched the Hubble telescope, and the international space station; and they have underscored the education of nature science since cold war. In my opinion, every conscientious government should require such work as urgent as well.
Lastly, exploring space can and will be one way to relieve the basic contradiction of the existing distraction system, to make sure all children food, cloth, and house well. Since it involves so many civil engineering, material engineering, and mechanical engineering and so on, exploring space utterly can and will appeal many workers, who once are laid off.

It is a tragedy that there are human beings suffering on earth. However, if we wait until everyone has a perfect life, we will never explore space_ and that, too, would be a kind of tragedy.

部分观点参考专八作文指南。。最近发现，上面的好多话题和托福是一样的，，大喜:lol :lol

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

8月21日交+ U' F9 I* F$ M" J6 \& v
(09.01.17 NA )Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits  S7 i/ G$ f6 q

It’s a little surprising when I first see the statement that advertising is the NO. one killer who brings about unhealthy eating habits. In the very traditional definition, advertising is used for promoting products, how does such a thing have much great impact on eating habits, unhealthy or healthy? While I have to admit that I am not the kind, who really has good reasons to makeup for this idea.
(提纲要出来，否则感觉不到下文)
Eating is called one of the four basic needs in China, among which the other three is clothing, housing, and traveling. So why is eating so important in our life? While eating healthily in somewhat indicates a healthy body, which is appealing to everyone. And it’s the healthy eating habits, which includes many limited items, like we should not eat at any time we want, or we should not eat too much every meal, or we should not eat before sleeping, that will orient to eating healthily. In this way, we can conclude that the key item to keep in a good shape is to keep on a healthy diet.

So that is one of the most popular topics on advertising about how to keep diet. In some certain, such advertisings really mean some kind of impact on our choice upon what to eat and how to eat. However, when talked about advertising, we should never neglect its commercials goal to sell products, to make money. They don’t do a survey like our private doctor does, who always commends a more characteristic and more scientific schedule if we highlight a healthy diet. On the opposite hand, what advertisings tell customers has nothing to do with individual body situation, but only with their magic products, which in their eyes is the top one item, even beyond personal eating habit.

Through above, I reach one conclusion that advertising never leads us to a healthy eating habit or an unhealthy habit, them aim for selling things. That’s simple fact.

最近四篇，用时都是一个小时过一点。从明天起，要限时练习了。。
还不知道有什么好方法。。。。
还有一个疑问：考试是一个人的战斗吗？

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

Building a new school in your community, good or not?

Education signs the civilization of a society. Considering more school, means more stone on education, it always benefits both the individuals and the whole society. And more visible goods are for people, who have been unemployed for a while. During the erecting of the school, they will go back to workplace. However, in the special situation as my community, of which the main aim is to accommodate old people, I don’t think it is a wise choice to build a new school here.

The first thing to think about is the popularity of students. While, as I said above, we community has much less young people than the olds. You know, where we dwell is almost calm since few sounding can be heard occasionally, and is some like of far away from the downtown, which place as I believe, has the striking to the youth. Only few people here will attend the new school, it makes no sense to build a new one here. Besides, building more new schools for inland places, where numerous children stress the old faculties heavily, sounds more advisable.  

On the opposite case, if building up a new school, as I can image, there will come up at least two problems. One is the traffic. Since a lot of students will take bus here, some even drive cars. Our once peaceful dwelling environment, in some certain, would plays the role as a downtown, where the commercials is packed our eye-reaching, the sirens on the street, the striking music coming out of the selling-rooms, and even people’s voice are becoming louder and louder. More badly, how we dwellers cope with so many cars running on the street once only a few cars and light traffic at any time.

No.2 complex will come after the first. You can see it, when more people and traffic meet together, the security of our community stay in a more conspicuous condition. Even if only one out of 10 thousand people behaves illegal, like stealing, we have no idea to fore-defend it happens. And it’s us the people living here who will be the victims. That’s the worst picture, but actually may take place if the new school building near my community.

More than above problems, people here may experience destroying the park, whose address may be used for the new school, and which is a wonderful resting place for old people. That’s absolutely worrying.

For building a new school near old people’s living surroundings has less merits than demerits, our government really need think twice.

这篇是训练时间用的，35分钟，比以前都要节约多了。。呵呵，，有一种成就，叫 saving time......

奖励下自己的成就，今天好好陪女友去。。。。

dxjjUID: 2885844

Comments on your "advertising" passage:
It will be a disaster if you write such a passage when you are taking the test. Do read others' passage and my comments. You should definitely rewrite it.

Cheers,
D

qlshunUID: 2602870

6# lizhengjiang

我暂时不给你改这篇文章，因为我觉得你最好还是重写一篇把，看到最后一段我才知道你的观点是什么，我不觉得前面的论述很好的论证了你最后的观点，总之，我觉得列个提纲，重写在一篇比较好

AnnneUID: 2819919

8月21日交
(09.01.17 NA )Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits  
It’s a little surprising when I first see(saw) the statement that advertising is the NO. one killer who brings about unhealthy eating habits. In the very traditional definition, advertising is used for promoting products, how does such a thing have much great impact on eating habits, unhealthy or healthy? (这句话不是很通顺，这样改会不会好点？how does it has great influence on the forming of eating habit?  )While I have to admit that I am not the kind, who really has good reasons to makeup for this idea. （个人觉得这句话没必要，你直接说你同意什么观点，你的观点是什么就好了，这句话反映不出什么实际问题咯~）
(提纲要出来，否则感觉不到下文);
Eating is called one of the four basic needs in China, among which the other three is clothing, housing, and traveling. So why is eating so important in our life? While eating healthily in somewhat indicates a healthy body, which is appealing（这个词的用法有点让人费解，有时侯此不在高级与否，首先准确为妥) to everyone. And it’s the healthy eating habits, which includes many limited items, like we should not eat at any time we want, or we should not eat too much every meal, or we should not eat before sleeping, that will orient to eating healthily. In this way, we can conclude that the key item to keep in a good shape is to keep on a healthy diet.

So that is one of the most popular topics on advertising about how to keep diet. In some certain(?), such advertisings really mean some kind of impact on our choice upon what to eat and how to eat. However, when talked about advertising, we should never neglect its commercials goal to sell products, to make money. They don’t do a survey like our private doctor does, who always commends a more characteristic and more scientific schedule if we highlight a healthy diet. On the opposite hand, what advertisings tell customers has nothing to do with individual body situation, but only with their magic products, which in their eyes is the top one item, even beyond personal eating habit.

Through above, I reach one conclusion that advertising never leads us to a healthy eating habit or an unhealthy habit, them aim for selling things. That’s simple fact.

论点比较散哟，而且只是论证了ad 不是unhealthy eating habit 的原因，没有论证真正造成不健康饮食的原因。
例子，论据不是很充分
建议看看那些牛人是怎么写这个题目的，然后借鉴借鉴一下吧~加油加油

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

thank u, i will learn from your's 8# dxjj

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

恩，，谢谢点评。。呵呵，每天花的时间太少了，都是冲忙写完一篇，就不管了。以后一定静下心来，好好对待作文。更要和大家经常沟通交流了 9# qlshun

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

恩，恩恩，，， 你们真的很让我感动，都好认真。。我要好好学习了。。谢谢太多 10# Annne

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

今天就不乱写了，停下来总结，看看大家的文章，感觉差距的震撼。
幼稚的心，震碎了，坚韧的品质就萌芽吧。。呵呵
祝各路牛人，大牛们和小牛们，坚持到底。
想玩的时候，就告诫自己：再向前一步，就是america。。哈哈，然后人就重新亢奋的。。

lizhengjiangUID: 2619543

8月24日交-（09.01.23 NA） Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Young people should try several different jobs before they take a long term career

Focused on the speaker’s opinion for a while, I am amazed by the relationship between job and career as most of young people today as well, who never think seriously about the future career before. While from my personal knowledge, if I have to make a decision, I am pro to support the idea that before stepping into one’s ultimate career, most of our young people should firstly go to try several different jobs.

As for career, it is a serious topic, which in my eyes, determines how smoothly our life will orient. At least, a good career, fitted to one’s interest and ability, is the prerequirement for success in the future. Never ever should anyone encounter his career without painstaking. Finding a wonderful career sounds some kind of like finding a perfect man/woman to marry. Before meeting Mr. Right, we have to go through hardship, only from which can we find out what’s we really longing for, and what’s the internal mind asking for. The same condition as it goes to career. Before taking a long term career, we should try several jobs to help us find where our real interest does lie.

While there exists the other people, who severely criticize this pre-behavior before marriage or career. As they have experienced, the preparation is unnecessary, even reflects young people’s lack of responsibility. The often examples we can get as to marriage, maybe a one-year lover relationship just breaks up for a third one; and as to job-hunter, when we find a better job, we easily cast the old one. In both situations, someone is happy but someone sad. But is it directly related to irresponsibility, that the happy one possesses no responsibility? While the fact is choice is bilateral. Responsibility does not do mean making another choice is innomal, and that we should stick on the one person or the one job from zero to end. Changing a girlfriend/boyfriend or a job is no wrong and understandable.

At last, in the very minor occasion does the opponents  make sense, that is if there is some outstanding young person, who goes far beyond the average, and has a well-planned life schedule about their career. No doubt, several pre-jobs are unnecessary. However, as I have underscored it is just the minor case. Most of today’s young people does not be outstanding that much. So we need try several jobs before taking a long term career.

Life is always not straight forward; seldom of us step into paradise only one stride and it is the tortuous matter in life that makes life more meaning.  so try jobs, then pursue the career.