Post June-writing-june

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

Sometimes, if you can not say anything niceto someone, you should say nothing at all.

In communicating with others, some peoplemay believe if they cannot say anything nice to others, that they should saynothing at all. This principle, however, can lead to some negative influencesfor people's relations and communications.

First of all, if this principle is appliedin relations with your good friend, you will lose the qualification as beinghis/her true friend. It is general recognized that one key element in relationsbetween best friends is to be sincere and true. A true friend is the one whoalways tell the truth to you, even though you don't want to hear it. Sometimesyou may fear furious about their words, but one thing for sure is that youtrust and rely on them because they will not lie to you. However, if a friendonly picks up good words and praises for you, results and experiences willprove that they are not the one for you to trust totally.

If the principle is used for relationsbetween you and your boss, you may not receive the expected result in the end.Any wise boss appreciate independent and creative employees. In decision makingprocesses, what a provident employee will do is to give constructivesuggestions and raise a effective refute. If the employee only focuses onflattering and not dare to challenge the authority, s/he can hardly receive anyrespect from his/her leader. This viewpoint has been historically exemplifiedin the relations between the Tang Dynasty emperor Taizong and his loyal PrimeMinister Weizheng. Weizheng, as one of the most famous minister in Chinesehistory, are widely respected and admired for his courage to fearlessly speaktruth to the son of heaven. In regard to Tang Taizong, he also won the fame asa benevolent emperor with the virtues of appointing the best officials andbeing tolerant and impartial.
Of course, speaking is also a kind ofcommunication skills that requires more than sincerity and courage. In mattersabout what to say and how to say, you cannot be too flattering; neither can youact totally impassive. To be a mature and success individual, you also need tograsp and cultivate qualities such as consideration and sensitivity. In a word,a high EQ is also essential for the speaking skill.
In sum, speaking skills are not as simpleas saying nice words to others. This principle is prone to bring you badoutcomes. Rather than flattering, what others appreciate is true andconstructive suggestions, even though it is undeniable that a more considerateapproach will make your words more admirable.


超时了，ORZ...

kaolaliangUID：2758807

Sometimes, if you can not say anything niceto someone, you should say nothing at all./ t' E' N) M5 S7 l2 L" N2 a

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In communicating with others, some peoplemay believe if they cannot say anything nice to others, that they should saynothing at all. This principle, however, can lead to some negative influencesfor people's relations and communications.(主题明显~)
k! z% e. \/ ?

First of all, if this principle is appliedin relations with your good friend, you will lose the qualification as being his/her true friend. It is general recognized that one key element in relations between best friends is to be sincere and true. A true friend is the one tell the truth to you, even though you don't want to hear it. Sometimes you may fear furious about their words, but one thing for sure is that you trust and rely on them because they will not lie to you(感觉可以这么写 Although you may fear furious about their words, because of the trust that they could be relied, 原句感觉有点不通，个人认为~). However, if a friendonly picks up good words and praises for you, results and experiences will prove that they are not the one for you to trust totally.
E

If the principle is used for relations between you and your boss, you may not receive the expected result in the end.Any wise boss appreciate independent and creative employees. In decision makingprocesses, what a provident employee will do is to give constructive suggestions and raise a（an？） effective refute. If the employee only focuses onflattering and not dare to challenge the authority, s/he can hardly receive any  respect from his/her leader. This viewpoint has been historically exemplifiedin the relations between the Tang Dynasty emperor Taizong and his loyal PrimeMinister Weizheng. Weizheng, as one of the most famous minister in Chinese history, are widely respected and admired for his courage to fearlessly speaktruth to the son of heaven. In regard to Tang Taizong(Foreigner may dont't know him~), he also won the fame asa benevolent emperor with the virtues of appointing the best officials andbeing tolerant and impartial.* A6 ~  I( w1 p; {: {# Q

Of course, speaking is also a kind ofcommunication skills that requires more than sincerity and courage. In mattersabout what to say and how to say, you cannot be too flattering; neither can you act totally impassive. To be a mature and success individual, you also need tograsp and cultivate qualities such as consideration and sensitivity. In a word,a high EQ is also essential for the speaking skill.% v" t& h* p+ E$ p9 K
In sum, speaking skills are not as simpleas saying nice words to others. This principle is prone to bring you badoutcomes. Rather than flattering, what others appreciate is true andconstructive suggestions, even though it is undeniable that a more considerate approach will make your words more admirable.

整篇文章，观点明显，结构明了，除了有很多单词连着打出来了。。。 其余的个人感觉没啥问题~  这个题目我写不出这么多字，老大你给了我和很多启发

ilnlhUID：2641884

赞一个，思路很清楚，感觉像是AW训练过的  呵呵

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

谢谢修改~作文是从word copy过来的不知怎么就连到一块了，，ps-我们貌似不是一个小组的？anyway,THX~~ 2# kaolaliang

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

haha过奖了~其实这篇超时严重。。。我没练过AW但可能写过英文paper所以如果时间充分还能瞎掰，， 3# ilnlh

远远在笑UID：2742022

In communicating with others, some peoplemay believe if they cannot say anything nice to others, that（delete） they should saynothing at all. This principle, however, can lead to some negative influences for people's relations and communications.) ]/ R) m+ ?7 q: ]
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First of all, if this principle is applied in relations with your good friend, you will lose the qualification as （of？）beinghis/her true friend. It is general（ly） recognized that one key element in relations between best friends is to be sincere and true. A true friend is the one whoalways tell the truth to you, even though you don't want to hear it. Sometimesyou may fear furious（furiously） about their words, but one thing for sure is that youtrust and rely on them because they will not lie to you. However, if a friendonly picks up good words and praises for（delete） you, results and experiences willprove that they are not the one for you to trust totally.
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% A" I' A% G6 J1 i8 `If the principle is used for relationsbetween you and your boss, you may not receive the expected result in the end.Any wise boss appreciate（s） independent and creative employees. In decision makingprocesses, what a provident employee will do is to give constructive suggestions and raise a effective refute(refutation). If the employee only focuses onflattering and not dare(dare not?) to challenge the authority, s/he can hardly receive anyrespect from his/her leader. This viewpoint has been historically exemplifiedin the relations between the Tang Dynasty (老外两眼一抓瞎,纠结中....)emperor Taizong and his loyal PrimeMinister Weizheng. Weizheng, as one of the most famous minister in Chinesehistory, are widely respected and admired for his courage to fearlessly speaktruth to the son of heaven（天子...老外觉得呢...宙斯的儿子海格力斯？）. In regard to Tang Taizong, he also won the fame asa benevolent emperor with the virtues of appointing the best officials andbeing tolerant and impartial.
     Of course, speaking is also a kind ofcommunication skills that requires more than sincerity and courage. In matters about（of） what to say and how to say, you cannot be too flattering; neither can youact totally impassive. To be a mature and success（ful） individual, you also need tograsp and cultivate qualities such as consideration and sensitivity. In a word,a high EQ is also essential for the speaking skill.
     In sum, speaking skills are not as simple as saying nice words to others. This principle is prone to bring you badoutcomes. Rather than flattering, what others appreciate is true andconstructive suggestions, even though it is undeniable that a more considerateapproach will make your words more admirabl
e.动词和名词用的很好，但是形容词和副词需要加强。魏征的例子在高考中举得应该说是不错，但是老外不认识啊！最后一段的开头一部分应该改放到让步段的最后，最后一段单独写观点。总的来说是好文！; |$ h2

potpourriUID：2834146

嗯嗯，很惭愧呀，水平有限好像给你提不出什么中肯的意见了~~
有些小问题楼上的几位已经提过了，
可能还有第三段 的 decision making应该加上个连字符吧(decision-making)

另外我想请教下，picks up good words and praises for you 是常用的说法不？我以前没见过，GOOGLE了一下也没找到，指点下哈~

文章很清晰，真的像考过AW的哈~~
学习了！

远远在笑UID：2742022

7# potpourri

praise for的意思是因什么而赞美，LZ用的有点不对...

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

6# 远远在笑
谢谢修改~很有启发~其实魏征的例子我写的时候就很纠结...不过son of heaven 确实是天子的意思，这个我很sure哈~

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

7# potpourri praise for you 是我写错了，应该去掉for，惭愧:L

potpourriUID：2834146

10# junedreamjune
不好意思，再啰嗦一句，，picks up good words可以这样用吗？

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salarybut less vacation time.

A job with more vacation time or with highsalary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people mayprefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. Interms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'mwilling to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives aswell as reasonable considerations for my option.

First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks andchallenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don'thave much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.

Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salarybut less vacation time.

A job with more vacation time or with highsalary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people mayprefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. Interms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'mwilling to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives aswell as reasonable considerations for my option.

First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks andchallenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don'thave much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.

Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea andsky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can affordnone of these trips, since I don’t have enough money.

Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan isto earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan we decide a most suitable lifestyle and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time, sinceit give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible toa job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their owninterests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea andsky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can affordnone of these trips, since I don’t have enough money.

Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan isto earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan we decide a most suitable lifestyle and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time, sinceit give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible toa job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their owninterests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.

junedreamjuneUID：2700743

11# potpourri 其实当时我没有想那么多，写的时候感觉pick up 就类似select吧，后来查了词典好像也有这个意思~

kaolaliangUID：2758807

A job with more vacation time or with high salary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people may prefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. In terms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'm willing to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives as well as（good~） reasonable considerations for my option.（观点明了）

      First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks and challenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don't have much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.
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     Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling Do you agree or disagree with the followingstatement（这句在这感觉有点生硬， 个人觉得连后面那句合并成一句 Do you want to accept the less salary to spend more vacation?）? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salarybut less vacation time.
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     (这段楼主paste过来的？好像首段啊~~)A job with more vacation time or with high salary but offering less vacations, which one do you prefer? Many people mayprefer more free time, while for others high salaries are more tempting. Interms of me, a job with high salary is apparantly more attractive and I'mwilling to sacrifice my vacation time for it. There stand several incentives aswell as reasonable considerations for my option.4 g3 X3 @2 ^( r0 ]) N& J

     （paste）First of all, as a novice in the laborforcemarket, what I am avid now is accumulation of working experiences and capitals,rather than plenties of spare time for vacation. Vacation time is attractive,though, I prefer to obtain more working skills and experiences in an intensiveworking condition. I appreciate a job with large amounts of tasks andchallenges, with which I will grow rapidly in my career. However, if I don'thave much work to do, I will feel lost at the meaning and value of myself.4 {4 q! L" M$ {0 s$ O' w

     paste？Furthermore, with limited money at hand,even the job offers me multitudes of vacation time, I cannot afford to pay forthese traveling cost. All the destinations in travelling brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea andsky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can affordnone of these trips, since I don’t have enough money., t# J4 z2 e3 w" d0 l( f
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     Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan is to earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan（这个词好正式啊~ saving用于个人的储蓄是否更准确些？ 个人想法）（that） we decide a most suitable life style and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time(Chglish了 没有这个用法吧), since it （has given）give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible to a job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their own interests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.brochures areattractive. Paris, the romantic city with clusters of classic architectures,artisy galleries, and vogue designed clothes, Hong Kong, the placecharacterized with both modern skyscrapers and traditional Chinese customs,Hawaii, the summer island with glorious sunshine and beaches, the blue sea and sky, are all what I’m long for. But the tangible problem is that I can afford none of these trips, since I don’t have enough money.
M! Q0 |0 I: A
     Finally, I suppose a wiser career plan is to earn sufficient money at first. Only with the preparation of enough depositscan we decide a most suitable lifestyle and take implementation in next step.Some people are inclined to the job that requires much energy and time, sinceit give them a sense of satisfaction in career. Some people are susceptible toa job with more spare time to play, to travel or to focus on their owninterests. Without the first accumulation step, we are more subject to makecompromises and choose a less perfect and suitable job that can hinder the happinessand valuation we originally deserve.

总结： 论点明了，层次分明。
缺点： 出发点多从个人考虑了，可以尝试着以第3人称的角度出发，例子都是个人的想法，这样子没啥说服力~  
ps： 感觉楼主用词是在追求难度，但是ets的要求是accurate， 所以用一般性单词也许会比生僻的词显得合理些
个人意见，仅供参考

ilnlhUID：2641884

整体来说不错，可以看出有一定功底

Word标红的错误先自己改一下吧
题目是比较型的作文最好每段都能关注两点内容的比较；最好能有结尾段，不然显得过于仓促也不自然