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发表于 2010-8-20 22:51:37 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 cslee 于 2010-8-20 23:49 编辑

8月20日 独立写作
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:   Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.(Media) (2009.1.17 NA)

Evidently, modern people have been showering the issue about advertising and eating habits with enormous attention.
I am not the exception.Thus, years of observation drive me to believe that advertising is not the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. Clearly, three reasons act as the cornerstone of my view.



First and foremost, advertising, to some extent, do influence people's eating habits. Specifically, what I need to emphasize is that a huge amount of food advertisements have a great effect on individuals' food choice. Inasmuch as edible food manufactures advertise their products name and how these products benefit the consumer with the aim to persuade a potential market to purchase their outputs, they usually exaggerate the advantages and shorten, or even omit the disadvantages of that food. More pivotally, no one can refute the fact that a multitude of females and males choose their food according to the advertisements. As a result, scores of people eat a giant amount of unhealthy food such as junk food because junk food companies advertise their food on TV, Internet, and Newspapers and etc. It deserves our attention that a wealth of examples helps to consolidate my argument. My brother, Peter Lee, is a salient case.
Deep down, as he loves watching TV and surfing the Internet and his choice on food also influenced by advertisements, he often chose hamburgers, hot dogs and ice creams which appear frequently on these advertisements as his staple food and ate them regularly. Finally, now he is so fat and suffering from losing weight. Some non-commercial advertisements, however, encourage individuals to build up a healthy eating habit and should get rid of unhealthy behaviors through food consumption. In a word, advertising, to some degree, indeed result in unhealthy eating habits.


The current marvelously fast pace of market, in addition, is another crucial factor leading unhealthy eating habits.
Owing to the development of technology, people's work pace is faster than before and a brigade of office workers is suffering from great pressure. More importantly, no fewer than a dozen of experts tend to nurture the belief that workmen and workwomen are so busy that they can not afford enough time and attention to for their diet, which result in that they usually eat some snack for their breakfast, fast food for lunch on working day and have a unhealthy habits finally. It is noteworthy that a good many examples can be listed in order to support my view. A recent study in Australia shows that 95% office workers choose KFC
McDonald because this means can save them a tremendous amount of time and they can return to work more quickly with eating these food for their lunch than other. To sum up, the pace of work play a bigger role in making people establishes unhealthy eating habits.



Finally, lack of instructing on healthy eating habits in school also contributes positively to unhealthy eating habits. Seldom do people notice the fact that with the aim to get a higher score in the examination, an army of school neglect the significance of eating habits and their curriculum do not include course on diets.Rather shockingly, individuals, only armed with how to get a high mark in exam, learn nothing about diet, which result in that after graduating, they can not get the significance of health eating habits and say nothing of how to build up these habits. In conclusion, the absence of knowledge on diet in education is an irreplaceable cause of unhealthy habits.


What I have discussed above supports an unshakable idea that advertising is not the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits. Since the fast pace of current work and lack of instructing are exceedingly influential in causes of unhealthy eating habits, the advertisement can not be the most significant reason in this issue. No longer can people ignore the importance of healthy eating habits, it is high time that we were supposed to eat well and live in healthy habits.
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发表于 2010-8-20 23:51:10 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 cslee 于 2010-8-21 16:06 编辑

8.21日独立写作:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? The best way to improve the quality of education in a country is to increase teachers' salaries. (2009-4-3--NA)

Evidently,modern people have been showering in the issues about the quality of education with enormous attention. I am not the exception.  Thus, years of observation drive to believe that increasing the teachers’ salaries is not the best way to improve the quality of education. Clearly,three reasons act as cornerstone of my view.


First and foremost, no one could refute the fact that teachers play an irreplaceable role in education and enhancing their salaries could improve the quality of education in some extend. Specifically, owing to the fact that participation of academic conferences and purchasing a host amount of books is money guzzling, a multitude of teachers are hungry for financial funding. Thus, if increasing their pays, teachers will reap a massive amount of money to take part in those conferences and buy currently-published books to update their knowledge, which will be a catalyst to foster excellent students.  Therefore, with producing a wealth of top students, the quality of education would be promoted.

Increasing the teachers' salaries, however, has a negative influence on education. Deep down, seldom do experts consider the fact that teachers' wages are from government tax revenue and students’ tuition and increasing the expense would increase the tax revenue and students' tuition.  More pivotally, government tax revenue and students' tuition all come from students' family. Thus, if increasing teachers' pays, individuals would have a heavier economic burden than before, which would conduct that an army of families can not afford their children to go to school and the drop-out rate would rise dramatically. It deserves our attention that a host of examples help to consolidate my argument.  Vietnam is a salient case. Specifically, since the Vietnam government increasing the tax revenue and tuition in order to increase teachers' pays in university in 2008, the drop-out rate increased to 7% from 3% (2007).



The last but not least, what I want to stress is that regardless of increasing salaries, there is a certain amount of ways to improve the quality of education.  Rather, no fewer than a dozen of education experts believe that schools are supposed to open new curriculums such as physical education course, literature courses and philosophy art course. Specifically, under no circumstance can education professionals ignore the significant fact that a brigade of students easily suffer from physical and psychological problems and garner little knowledge on their culture and custom, which is resulted from the fact that there are few courses on these fields for students to choose in current school course system.  Therefore, if a considerable amount of PE, art and philosophy courses available, students would harvest a huge amount of knowledge about how to exercise on their body and appreciate an art masterpiece and what  personal character to build up, which would play an unparalleled role in making students become backbones of the society. It is noteworthy that a good many examples can be listed to in order to support my view. Bracak Obama is an eye-catching one. Specifically, as his school open a giant amount of course on PE, literature and philosophy and he enrolled these course when he was in Honolulu(1971-1977), Columbia University(1981-1983) and Harvard University(1988-1992), he learned a large mount of knowledge from these course, which contribute positively  to improving his speaking skills, building up a charming personality and reaping respect and trust from others.



In conclusion, increasing teachers' salaries is not the best way to improve the quality of education because this way, in addition to promoting the quality of education, has also a negative effect on education. Rather shocking, by opening new useful courses such as physical, art and philosophy courses, schools can cultivate more individuals to become outstanding elites, which increase the quality of education more drastically.

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发表于 2010-8-21 11:42:45 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 cslee 于 2010-8-22 07:21 编辑

8月20日 综合写作
TPO 4

Quite different from what have been stated in the reading, in the reading passage, the professor thinks that dinosaurs are not endotherms.

First and foremost, in the listening passage, the lecturer states that dinosaur fossils found in the Polar Regions can not support that dinosaurs are endotherms.  She discussed that the Polar Regions where dinosaur fossils discovered were much warmer than today when the dinosaurs live there and even some animals which are not endotherms can live there. This is challenges the points in the reading that dinosaur fossils discovered in polar regions may support that they are endotherms.


In addition, in the lecture, the speaker claims that dinosaurs are not high energy animals and their legs underneath their body support more weight and they can grow up to a large size. This is in conflict with the point the reading that the legs underneath their body can be explained a reason for that those dinosaurs are endotherms.

Thirdly, the lecturer classifies the third point in the reading passage as being falsely grounded. Rather, his viewpoint is that dinosaurs' bone structure do have Haversian but they can not approve dinosaurs are endotherms.  Specifically, she also presents that there are growth rings in the dinosaurs' bone structure which can suggest their growth speed. What is more, these rings show that dinosaurs may grow slowly, or even stop growing during the cool time, which is not a characteristic of endotherms.  However, the writer of the reading passage notes that the existence of Havversian canals in bone can strongly support that dinosaurs are endotherms.

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发表于 2010-8-21 15:43:04 |只看该作者
修改好了
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发表于 2010-8-21 15:50:02 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 cslee 于 2010-8-24 18:22 编辑

补交以前的:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing sports teaches people more lessons about the life ? (2008-12-5 NA)

Evidently, modern people have been showering the issue about doing exercise with enormous attention. I am not the exception. Thus, years of observation drive me to believe that playing sports teaches people more lessons about life. Clearly, three reasons act as the cornerstone of my view.


The most crucial reason for my inclination is that only by doing exercise can individuals be healthy. Specifically, inasmuch as with the help of computer, Internet and telephone, people usually work in their office, they have no opportunity to exercise their body. What is more, the current working pace of market which is marvelously fast result in that a host of males and females are suffering from physical diseases. Rather shockingly, no fewer than a dozen of experts tend to nurture the belief that playing sports can contribute positively to keeping a healthy weight, building and maintaining healthy bone density, muscle strength, and joint mobility, promoting physiological well-being, reducing surgical risks, and strengthening the immune system, which will help people to get rid of diseases and return to work with passion, motivation and dedication. More pivotally, a healthier workforce will be bedrock of economic betterment and act as the cornerstone for economic prosperity. It deserves our attention that a wealth of examples helps to consolidate my argument. Barack Obama is a salient case. Specifically, as young Obama learned to play sports to keep healthy when he was in Honolulu 1971-1976, he was able to work hard and make a series of achievements in his later life. Hence, playing sports can teach individuals how to maintain physical fitness which plays an exceedingly significant role in their daily life.


In addition, what I need to stress is that playing sports is massively beneficial to social members' psychological health, which is a propeller of economic progress. Specifically, owing to the fact that individuals suffer from great pressure from their fast-paced careers, they have no chance to share their feelings and release their pressure. Obviously, thoroughly taking part in all kinds of sports, a huge number of people will garner an unparalleled chance to not only to communicate with others, but also to share their happiness and sorrow with other participants across the world, which will prevent people from psychological problem and work with passion. It is noteworthy that good examples can be listed in order to support my view. New Zealand is an eye-catching one. Deep down, since the government called on all citizens to play sports for one hour every day, the suicide rate decreased from 6% in 2008 down to 1% in 2009. Thusplaying sports is able to instruct people how to keep in psychological health.

The last but not least is that playing sports can foster senses of self-discipline and self-control for people. Rather shocking, seldom do people notice the fact that people must follow a particular rule while participating a kind of sports. Through observing these rules, participants are supposed to get a high sense of self-discipline and self-control, which are significant for them to get success in their life.


In conclusion, playing sports teaches people more lessons about life. Specifically, doing exercise instructs people how to keep physiological and mental healthy and how to build up a sense of self-discipline and self-control. No longer can we ignore the importance of exercise, it is high time individuals participated a variety of sports.

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发表于 2010-8-21 23:41:59 |只看该作者
已改
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发表于 2010-8-22 07:55:27 |只看该作者
8.21 Integrated Writing  TPO5

Quite different from what have been stated in the reading passage, in the listening passage, the professor states that the functions of Chaco structures in the reading are not supported well by evidence.

First and foremost, the lecturer discusses that Chaco structures could not   used for people to live there.  He states that if people lived there, there should be enough fire places in the house. However, there were not enough fire places in these building. He gives examples. In one of the biggest houses, there were certainly amount fire places for only ten families but the house could hold more than one hundred people.  So he notes that the Chaco structures could not be purely residential. This is challenges the point made in reading that the Chaco Structures were used for people to live.


In addition, in the lecture, the speaker claims that the Chaco structures could not be used for storing food supplies.  He states that he excavations of these structures do not contain the maize or the container of maize. So he thinks they can not be used for preserving food supplies. This is in conflict with the point in the reading that Chaco structures are proper for storing food supplies.


Thirdly, the lecturer classifies the third point in the reading passage as being falsely grounded. Rather, his logic is that Chaco houses could not be used as ceremonial centers. He notes that excavations of mound also include some building materials such as stone, sand, or structure tools though they contains broken pots. Thus, these building were not the ceremonial centers, whereas the writer of the reading passages notes that the excavations which contain broken pots can support that these building were ceremonial centers.

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发表于 2010-8-22 13:03:36 |只看该作者
2# cslee

恩,下载了,先占座改之。。。

我的也好容易成功上传了:

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1129902&pid=1774295025&page=1&extra=#pid1774295025
(在8楼)

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发表于 2010-8-22 15:57:24 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 longxue26 于 2010-8-22 15:58 编辑

7# cslee

Quite different from what have been stated in the reading passage, in the listening passage,<in the lecture 避免重复> the professor states that the functions of Chaco structures in the reading are not supported well by evidence.


First and foremost, the lecturer discusses that Chaco structures could not BE used for people to live there.  He states that if people lived there, there should be enough fire places in the house. However, there were not enough fire places in these building. He gives examples. In one of the biggest houses, there were certainly<这里什么意思呢?> amount fire places for only ten families but the house could hold more than one hundred people.  So he notes that the Chaco structures could not be purely residential. This is challenges the point made in reading that the Chaco Structures were used for people to live."

In addition, in the lecture, the speaker claims that the Chaco structures could not be used for storing food supplies.  He states that he excavations of these structures do not contain the maize or the container of maize. So he thinks they can not be used for preserving food supplies. This is in conflict with the point in the reading that Chaco structures are proper for storing food supplies.

Thirdly, the lecturer classifies the third point in the reading passage as being falsely grounded. Rather, his logic is that Chaco houses could not be used as ceremonial centers. He notes that excavations of mound also include some building materials such as stone, sand, or structure tools though they contains broken pots. Thus, these building were not the ceremonial centers, whereas the writer of the reading passages notes that the excavations which contain broken pots can support that these building were ceremonial centers.

条理清楚 和reading联系紧密!
God Bless me!
我想我可以的!是一定可以的!是一定一定不错的!

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发表于 2010-8-22 22:09:31 |只看该作者
谢谢了哦!  我也马上去改你的作文

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发表于 2010-8-22 22:25:56 |只看该作者
恩,改好了,请查收~

语言上,我着实改不出来什么问题,
论证上有一些小建议
个人观点,随便看看好了~
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发表于 2010-8-22 22:53:57 |只看该作者
谢谢了,你改的很好啊!
提出的意见也很不错的啊,我会重新改写的。

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发表于 2010-8-23 21:47:59 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 cslee 于 2010-8-23 23:20 编辑

8月23日  Independent Writing  

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Improving school is the most important factor in the successful development of country. (欧洲 09-1-10)

Evidently, modern people have been showering in the issue about the relationship between schools and the development of country with enormous attention. I am not the exception.Thus, years of observation drive me to believe that improving schools is the most important factor in the successful development of country. Clearly, three reasons act as the cornerstone of my view.

First and foremost, what I need to stress is that improving schools makes a great contribution to the economic prosperity which plays an irreplaceable place in the development of country.Specifically, no one can refute the fact that the pace of development of country relies on government revenue the main sources of which are personal and company tax. Notably, if governments begin to widen access to education, a host of excellent scientists and engineers would be cultivated from schools. More pivotally, attracted by these elites, scores of international-top-tier companies will channel a huge amount of budget into the place, which is crucial in promoting rate of employment and increasing local government's tax revenue. Therefore, improving schools is exceedingly beneficial to economic betterment which is the bedrock of enhancing the comprehensive national strength. It deserves our attention that a wealth of examples can help to consolidate my argument. Australia is a salient case. Deep down, as Australia government invest adequate energy on schools and there are a certain amount of top-rate universities and talents, an army of international corporations earmark a giant amount of money and set up branches in Australia, which blossom the local economy and push the development of the country. To sum up, improving schools plays the biggest role in successful development of country.


Increasing the number of school, in addition, promote the development of science and technology, which is a key factor in successfully developing a country. Empirical analyses tend to support the theoretical prediction that poor countries are supposed to grow faster than rich countries because they can adopt cutting edge technologies already tried and tested by rich countries. However, technology transfer requires knowledgeable managers and engineers who are able to operate new machines or production practices borrowed from leader in order to close the gap through imitation. Then the question comes out: where these “knowledgeable managers and engineers “come from? The answer definitely will be "schools". More significantly, a considerable amount of technologies which developed by affluent countries and applied to military are secret and developing countries are not supposed to adopt them or even watch them.
Therefore, without the advanced products, poorer countries can develop the core technology by themselves, by their excellent scientists and engineers. And the same question appears: where are they from? Yes, from schools. In sum, a country need schools to foster legions of elites on sciences and engineering to develop more core technologies and generate more state-of-the-art or cutting-edge facilities. What is more, equipped with these technologies, the country government can improve the quality of individuals' life and develop at a galloping pace. It is noteworthy that a good many examples can be listed in order to support my view. China is an eye-catching one. Deep down, since Chinese government built more schools and focused their great energy on education after 1978, more excellent scientists and engineers appears in China and the speed of this nation's growth from 1978 to 2009 is one of the fastest in the word. To sum up, improving schools is the most important factor in the successful development of country.



Admittedly, there are also some other factors in successful development of country such as industrialization, urbanization, environment issue, health problem, democracy and etc. These factors, however, play minor roles when compared to schools. By improving schools, governments can settle all the problems radically inasmuch as schools can foster backbones on all fields and also improve everyman's comprehensive quality.  For instance, males and females can learn the importance of environment protection and know how to prevent further pollution, which could solve this problem ultimately. As a result, improving schools is the bedrock of promoting development of all aspects of society and act as the cornerstone of the progress of a country.

What I have discussed above supports an unshakeable idea that improving schools do be the most important factor in the successful development of country since it lays the foundation and play a radical role in countries’ evolution. No longer can we ignore the importance of schools; it is high time our government invested an enormous amount of money and energy to widen access to schools, to push the pace of our nation's growth.

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发表于 2010-8-24 14:52:29 |只看该作者
确实么看出啥问题...
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发表于 2010-8-24 15:32:18 |只看该作者
你好,改好了
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当你觉得为时已晚的时候,恰好是最早的时候

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