【独立作文】求指导

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5.30一战，作文26，想要再有所提高，不知道是不是自己的词汇比较low，感觉没有高级词组是不是对分数有影响？
贴一篇独立作文，求大神指导

When it comes to college education, majority of people concerned tend to give more tolerance and patience to the problem. Governments, as well as many corporations and individuals, has donated a lot of money to support university education in which professors play an essential role. However, as far as I am concerned, rising the salaries for university professors is not a good way to improve the quality of advanced education.

To begin with, there is no denying that the average salary level for university professors, virtually in every country, exceeds most other types of industry workers'. That is to say, the compensation for their hard work for all students has made their life easier and much comfortable than others. For instance, a professor who teaches us economy once stressed that a further raise for professors' payoffs has a low marginal efficiency. He thinks it is not money that limits the educational quality but the overall environment of a university.

In addition to a salary compare, university professors are supposed to focus on scientific researches and education, with all the invisible benefits they enjoy. My professor John, who is always content with his situation, told me that professors enjoy the reputation, social status and a relatively high salary, with almost nothing to worry about security. They just want better students, better facilities and more funds for them to do their researches.

Furthermore, admittedly, an increase on a professor's salary will motivate him to get away from daily economic issues, pay more attention to education, and achieve better results in his special field of research.
Nevertheless, based on the level of payment at present, it is not necessary to further rise the payment up. To conclude, money is a stimuli, but not the only one neither the best one to promote the performance of university professors. For your information, depleting the burden of publishing paper or doing scientific assignments, in my opinion, may do a better work than raising the salary. As a result, I hold the belief that there is no need for universities to pay more money on professors' salaries.