12.17独立写作

shiwei83UID：2680950

Recently, some hold a opinion that people would be more easily to be successful in the past than in nowadays. According to my knowledge and experience, I disagree the opinion. My argument for this point are listed as follows.
First, in the past, people lived in the environment lack of material, which could be a negative influence on their career. For example, supposing a man who lived in one hundred years before, he want to learn English, we may found although he had try his best to learn it, little progress maybe he could made. Because in his times, there were no recorder, no computer, not to mention internet, neither he could learn English by listening program in radio, nor could he improve his pronunciation by talking with native speakers who using MSN. Compared to people living today, those people who want to be successful must double the effort.

Second, there would be little chance for the people in the past. Take the college entrance exam as an example, in former days, there were just less than 3 percents of all the graduates of high schools can through the exam and go to college. Hardly can we image how intense and cruel the exam was. Just because of this, people called the winner in the exam the “God's favored one”. Nowadays, there are more than 70 percents of the graduates of high schools can enter the university, the number of enrollee increase rapidly compared to that in the past. That would means, chances of success multiplied. More lucky, through network university, the failure of university entrance exam also have the opportunity of taking advanced courses into excellent college.

All in all, I believe it is generally people would be more easily to be successful in nowadays than in the past due to the above aspects I have mentioned.

summerdingdavidUID：2718039

Recently, some hold a opinion that people would be more easily to be successful in the past than in nowadays. According to my knowledge and experience, I disagree the opinion. My argument for this point are (单复数的问题)listed as follows.! R+ f4 R4 J8 t3 S/ L/ V$ i! J+ M
First, in the past, people lived in the environment lack（lacking） of material(或者改成：without sufficient material，而且这个material是表达什么含义呢？), which could be a negative influence on their career. For example, supposing （supposed/given）a man who lived in one hundred years before, he wanted to learn English, we may found that although he had try his best to learn it, little progress maybe he could made. Because in his times, there were no recorder, no computer, not to mention internet, neither he could learn English by listening program in radio, nor could he improve his pronunciation by talking with native speakers who using MSN. Compared to people living today, those people who want to be successful must double the effort.
- j! v" O8 X3 x) ^  `
Second, there would be little chance for the people in the past. Take the college entrance exam as an example, in former days, there were just less than 3 percents of all the graduates of high schools can through the exam and go to college. Hardly can we image how intense and cruel the exam was. Just because of this, people called the winner in the exam the “God's favored one”. Nowadays, there are more than 70 percents of the graduates of high schools can enter the university, the number of enrollee increase rapidly compared to that in the past. That would means, chances of success (have been)multiplied. More lucky, through network university, the failure of university entrance exam also have the opportunity of taking advanced courses into excellent college.' ~9 S. W9 \7 J6 u* E5 P$ s

All in all, I believe it is generally people would be more easily to be successful in nowadays than in the past due to the above aspects I have mentioned.
语法错误比较多，还是多加注意。

nwu-uwoUID：2672434

Recently, some（people）hold a opinion that people would be more easily to be successful in the past than in (去掉in)nowadays. According to my knowledge and experience, I disagree the opinion. My argument for this point are (主谓不一致)listed as follows.
First, in the past, people lived in the environment lack of（lack这个地方词性是什么？如果是动词，应该用lacking in, 如果是名词，也不能直接用，可用with lack of） material, which could be a negative influence on their career. For example, supposing a man who lived in one hundred years before(时间状语表达错误，应为one hundred years ago), he want(时态的问题) to learn English, we may found although he had try his best to learn it, little progress maybe he could made（表达太口语化，至少也得结构完整，一个名词短语应该不行）. Because in（?during） his times, there were no recorder, no computer, not to mention internet, neither (倒装)he could learn English by listening program in radio, nor could he improve his pronunciation by talking with native speakers who using MSN. Compared to（应为with） people living today, those people who want to be successful must double the effort.
Second, there would be little chance for the people in the past. Take the college entrance exam as an example, in former days, there were just less than 3 percents of all the graduates of high schools can through the exam(语法问题，can后面怎么加介词呢？) and go to college. Hardly can we image how intense and cruel the exam was. Just because of this, people called the winner in the exam the “God's favored one”. Nowadays, there are more than 70 percents of the graduates of high schools can enter the university, the number of enrollee increase（s） rapidly compared to(with) that in the past. That would means, chances of success multiplied. More lucky, through network university, the failure(s) of university entrance exam also have the opportunity of taking advanced courses into excellent college.
All in all, I believe it is generally(错误的表达，general,最好换个清楚点的说法) people would be more easily to be successful in(删掉 in) nowadays than in the past due to the above aspects I have mentioned(此处最好表达为mentioned above).
你的作文我仔细看了一遍，问题如下：
首先，语法要加强，时态，语态， 人称等。
其次，句式结构s单一，尝试多种句型，连接词要注重积累。
最后，文章的机构有问题，不严谨，多看范文，至少最后也得做个让步之类的东西，不然文章不具有说服力。
祝你好运，加油！
1# shiwei83

饕餮丫UID：2575059

[/color]Recently, some [color=Red]people[/color] hold a opinion that people would be more [color=Red]easier[/color] to be successful in the past than in nowadays. According to my knowledge and experience, I disagree the opinion. My argument[color=Red]s[/color] for this point are listed as follow.. K5 _% ~* A( f
First, in the past, people lived in the environment [color=Red]which lacks[/color] of material, which could be a negative influence ([color=Red]recommend "impact to") [/color]on their career. For example, supposing a man who lived in one hundred years [color=Red]ago[/color][color=Red]and wanted to[/color] learn English (应该指明这个人的母语不是英语), we may found although he had try his best to learn it, little progress maybe he could made. Because in his times, there were no recorder, no computer, not to mention internet [color=Red](???chinglish), [/color]neither [color=Red]could he[/color] learn English by listening program in radio, nor could he [color=Red]can [/color]improve his pronunciation by talking with native speakers who using MSN. Compared to ([color=Red]with)[/color] people living today, those people who want to be successful must double the effort.

Second, there would be little chance for the people in the past. Take the college entrance exam as an example, in former days, there were just less than 3 percents of all the graduates of high schools can[color=Red] pass[/color] through the exam and go to college. Hardly can we image how intense and cruel the [color=Red]competition[/color] was. Just because of this, people called the winner in the exam the “God's favored one”. Nowadays, there are more than 70 percents of the graduates of high schools can enter the university, the number of enrollee increase[color=Red]s [/color]rapidly compared [color=Red]with [/color]that in the past. [color=Red]That would means that chances of success are multiplied.[/color] (感觉不是很地道) More lucky([color=Red]fortunately), [/color]through network university, the failure[color=Red]s[/color] of university entrance exam also have the opportunity of taking advanced courses into excellent college. 这一段，说到了机会的增加，但是没有联系到成功。应该补充二者之间的因果关系，扣题

All in all, I believe it is generally people would be more easily to be successful in nowadays than in the past due to the above aspects I have mentioned 结尾不是很好，我也有这样的毛病，写到后面时间不够或者没什么好的方式来结束

选取的两个论证方面，（成功的可用的工具方式途径和机会的增加）还是很有力的，只是在表达上有些稚嫩。加油