[Big Fish]3月11日Issue70 by-bobbiezz

BobbieZZUID: 2756583

TOPIC: ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."
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Experiences leaders could avoid a large amount of mistakes that had made before, however, the advanced theories and thoughts they leaked of. As a result I strongly agree with the statement that in most areas new leadership should instead of the previous one in five years. This policy can bring more vibrant energy to any enterprise and has other advantages respects as well.

First of all, the experienced professor who has lead their own areas for several years whatever the areas he research in such as business, politics and so forth, much knowledge and experiences he has gain during this years. He can avoid most mistakes have made before easily. For instance, the most excellent general Patton who leaded the America army during the Second World War was recorded into history forever. The more he had gone through in wars, the more skills he had gain from it, and use it to make the next warfare win easier. So the experienced headships have made great contribution to our society.

However, the more time leaders in his areas, the ancient thoughts could be deep-rooted in the group. It has no advantages to most professions in nowadays; the previous guidance is too difficult to accept much recently information and theories that have work out by offspring. With the developing of society, each area filled with more and more new technologies. For examples, the LED(light emitting diode) new-technical adopted in advertisement in present instead of the old-style posters. The newly college graduates will easier accept it than old leaders, because the managers who have doing this job for long time, their have secure thoughts and ideas to do advertising campaign, to change the mold that have reserved for long time has much difficult. So the new leadership can bring more new technical and new ideas to his area that the experienced leader could not do.

Furthermore, to step down the leaders for five years, it is suitable for headship in most areas, during these years, the managers can teach their workers his experiences gained in this years, and even make the underling adapt to the new environment from colleges to society or from employee to leaders. It has exceptional instance that in most countries, the president step down after five years, the new one get the leadership situation by running for with other candidates. The progress not only brings newly theory about politics ideas but also make their country have a brilliant and equality atmosphere. So to instead leadership for several years by new professors has more advantages to society.

To sum up, new things always instead the old one, making society has better theories, ideas and brings large mounts of new-technical to public, to step down leadership could also make our society has vigorously and impartial circumstance. Leader who can adopt experiences from old one and use his own new theories will has great contribution to our society.

cloudwind-greUID: 2462220

1# BobbieZZ
Experiences leaders 好像没experiences leaders这种说法,如果想表示有经验,我想用experienced/seasoned leaders或leaders with plenty of experiences会好些.could avoid a large amount of mistakes that had made before, however, the advanced theories and thoughts they leaked of 这里就两个名词短语组成主语啊,谓语和宾语?. As a result as a result是表因果关系的,不明白你前那里可以推出你这个结论.I strongly agree with the statement that in most areas new leadership should instead of (instead of是个副词啊,这里要用动词比如replace, substitute) the previous one in five years. This policy can bring more vibrant energy to any enterprise and has other advantages respects不明白respects在这里是什么意思?应不是尊敬吧 as well.

First of all, the experienced professor who has lead their own areas for several years whatever the areas he research in such as business, politics and so forth, much knowledge and experiences he has gain during this years. He can avoid most mistakes have made before easily. For instance, the most excellent general Patton who leaded the America army during the Second World War was recorded into history forever.这个例子不是说他avoid mistakes的哦 The more he had gone through in wars, the more skills he had gain from it, and use it to make the next warfare win easier. So the experienced headships have made great contribution to our society.建议这句放在开头

However, the more time leaders in his areas, the ancient thoughts could be deep-rooted in the group. It has no advantages to most professions in nowadays; the previous guidance is too difficult to accept much recently information and theories that have work out by offspring 这个词指后代,新东西不一定是自己后代发明的,可以是其它人后代发明的,我想这里用后来者successors会好些. With the developing of society, each area filled with more and more new technologies. For examples, the LED(light emitting diode) new-technical adopted in advertisement in present instead of the old-style posters. The newly college graduates will easier accept it than old leaders, because the managers who have doing this job for long time, their have secure thoughts and ideas to do advertising campaign, to change the mold that have reserved for long time has much difficult. So the new leadership can bring more new technical and new ideas to his area that the experienced leader could not do. LED的例子在这里还用得不错,我再简单介绍一下老人们喜欢用传统的显示器如CRT,做个对比就更有说服力了.

Furthermore, to step down the leaders for five years, it is suitable for headship in most areas, during these years, the managers can teach their workers his experiences gained in this years, and even make the underling adapt to the new environment from colleges to society or from employee to leaders. 这里开始这一段前后两部分分开说两个意思了,后面其实可以改为发展多说点前面一部分.It has exceptional instance that in most countries, the president step down after five years, the new one get the leadership situation by running for with other candidates. The progress not only brings newly theory about politics ideas but also make their country have a brilliant and equality atmosphere. So to instead leadership for several years by new professors has more advantages to society.

To sum up, new things always instead the old one, making society has better theories, ideas and brings large mounts of new-technical to public, to step down leadership could also make our society has vigorously and impartial circumstance. Leader who can adopt experiences from old one and use his own new theories will has great contribution to our society.

建议楼主多用简单句,楼主目前用长难句会有不少错误,有时会导致让读者误解意思,所以建议楼主从简单句开始,把意思说清楚,
楼主意思跳跃太大,我也有这样的毛病,我想这个要多注意才好,写的时间多注意一下句与句之间的连接.
本人水平有限,如有什么说得过分或不对的请见谅.