Definitely, a victory 小组第5次作业 Argument 237 By11号kirk

kirk1988UID: 2416089

237.The following appeared as part of an article in a local Beauville
newspaper.

"According to a government report, last year the city of Dillton reduced
its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it began offering
relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any company
that would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing
companies moved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people.
Therefore, the fastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development
and hence reduce unemployment is to provide tax incentives and other
financial inducements that encourage private companies to *relocate here."

In this argument, the author argues the priority of the tax incentives and the financial inducements in Dillton and is willing to apply them to Beauville to stimulate the economic development there. To prove his conclusion, he asserts that during 18 months after the policies proclaimed, two manufacturing companies relocated Dillton and empolyed 300 workers. In his perspecitve, they do promote the prosperity of Dillton. However, this argument depends on several unsubstantiated assumptions and unconvincing evidences and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.

Firstly and foremost, the author presume that the relocation of these two companies are all due to the new policies. But just from what he demonstrats in the argument, the inference rests on the assumption that reducing tax and offering
financial compensation directly influence the economic situation is unconvincing. In fact, this might not be the case. It is indeed some other aspects such as the low price of the ground, huge conveniences of traffic situation and the inexpensive labor resource that really attract these company.The author neglects other possibilities and utilizes the incomprehensive informations to deduce a limited conclusion.

Albeit the companies attached by the tax and finacial policies, the truth that just 2 companies moved to Dilliton employing
300 merely workers is insufficient to claim the policies attributable to the economics growth.300,the quantity of hired workers,to such two manufacturing companies, is not a giant number. Otherwise, we do not have any materials of other companies about their personnel situation after the policies going into effect.The data illustrated in the argument lacks the credibility as the sample is too small.

Even if the novel policies have profond impact on Dilliton, it is too superfacial to say they operate well in Beauville. Known to all, diverse districts are differential and briefly applying the successful experience of others may lead a dasaster in the locality. The first rabbit migrated to Australia resulted in a wreck. Eventually, the Australian had to migrate some wolves to prey on them in order to
protect the grassland. So an effective method of Dilliton is not really adapative to Beauville.

Finally, the author recommands the Beauville should legistate some policies to encourage private companies to relocate there. This is a preposterous statements because from the context we do not recognize those two are private companies. What if they are global or multinational corporations? Thus, this part of the conclusion is definitely inexact and we should make tiny adjustments.

All in all, to strengthen the argument, the author should consider the reality and correct some unavailable inference. What’s more, he should also provide more supporting evidences and data like the entire personnel situation in Dilliton after the policies carried out to illuminate his conclusion.

wdx19861106UID: 2821198

237.
The following appeared as part of an article in a local Beauville newspaper.
"According to a government report, last year the city of Dillton reduced its corporate tax rate by 15 percent; at the same time, it began offering relocation grants and favorable rates on city utilities to any company that would relocate to Dillton. Within 18 months, two manufacturing companies moved to Dillton, where they employ a total of 300 people. Therefore, the fastest way for Beauville to stimulate economic development and hence reduce unemployment is to provide tax incentives and other financial inducements that encourage private companies to relocate here."
In this argument, the author argues the priority of the tax incentives and the financial inducements in Dillton and is willing to apply them to Beauville to stimulate the economic development there. To prove his conclusion, he asserts that during 18 months after the policies proclaimed, two manufacturing companies relocated Dillton and employed 300 workers. In his perspective, they do promote the prosperity of Dillton. However, this argument depends on several unsubstantiated assumptions and unconvincing evidences and is therefore unpersuasive as it stands.
Firstly and foremost, the author presumes that the relocation of these two companies is all due to the new policies. But just from what he demonstrates in the argument, the inference rests on the assumption that reducing tax and offering financial compensation directly influence the economic situation is unconvincing. In fact, this might not be the case. It is indeed(It is possible that) some other aspects such as the low price of the ground, huge conveniences of traffic situation and the inexpensive labor resource that really attract these companies. The author neglects other possibilities and utilizes the incomprehensive information to deduce a limited conclusion.
Albeit the companies attached by the tax and financial policies, the truth that just 2 companies moved to Dilliton employing 300 merely workers is insufficient to claim the policies attributable to the economics growth. 300, the quantity of hired workers, to such two manufacturing companies, is not a giant number. Otherwise, we do not have any materials of other companies about their personnel situation after the policies going into effect. The data illustrated in the argument lacks the credibility as the sample is too small.
Even if the novel policies have profoundly impact on Dilliton, it is too superficial to say they operate well in Beauville. Known to all, diverse districts are differential and briefly applying the successful experience of others may lead a disaster in the locality. The first rabbit migrated to Australia resulted in a wreck. Eventually, the Australian had to move some wolves to prey on them in order to protect the grassland. So an effective method of Dilliton is not really adaptive to Beauville.
Finally, the author recommends the Beauville should formulate some policies to encourage private companies to relocate there. This is a preposterous statement because from the context we do not recognize those two are private companies. What if they are global or multinational corporations? Thus, this part of the conclusion is definitely inexact and we should make tiny adjustments. (该观点找的有新意，但叙述不详细，在展开一点更好。)
All in all, to strengthen the argument, the author should consider the reality and correct some unavailable inference. What’s more, he should also provide more supporting evidences and data like the entire personnel situation in Dilliton after the policies carried out to illuminate his conclusion.
（论点找的挺好，有时某些叙述过简了，再详细一点或者减少一个论点，着重描写其中三个应该会更好。）
1# kirk1988   另外建议：发帖前在Word上小改一下。