bearseu的作文贴

bearseuUID：2873933

Sports teaches us lessons about life.

新手，欢迎高手狠拍！


When it comes to the relationship between sports and life, some people may consider sports can improve the physical fitness in life and that's all the contributions sports can make to themselves. But I prefer to agree with the statement sports teaches us lessons about life in the field of competition, cooperation and persistence besides the improvement
of body situation.

First of all, many sports events are competitive, just like the competition between different persons in life. The spirit of competition originating from sports can
inspire the potential energy of the persons working in various fields. Because the principle keeps exactly same. For insurance, a excellent runner has a tendency to get a better score when competing with another runner whose ability in running is close to him. So we can act in the same pattern in life. Choose a competitor; try our best to catch up with him; enjoy the satisfaction of success and repeat them.

In addition, the cooperation in sports is also very important. For example, in a basketball game, even one top player, like Kobe Bryant or Jordan won't be the winner if he fights against a whole team, where the skill level of the players is lower, with only his force. And the idea is the same as an advertisement of adidas corporation "brothers play basketball". So sports teaches us lesson we should cooperate with others in life to get a better achievement. Especially in twenty-first century the competition is more fierce and the change is more fantastic, we need the help from others to face the challenge in the further by cooperation.

Furthermore, the persistence is one eternal
theme of sports training. Many people know that regular sports training can make themselves better, but few of them can succeed. The only reason is they lack the spirit of persistence. Therefore we absorb the persistence from sports to look for our bright future.

Consequently, sports can teach us lessons in life, such as keep competitive, make a cooperation and maintain the condition of persistent. What's more, what sports can teach us is more over what I have said above.


   

ximeng123UID：2838922

第一本文的大体思路是对的，八股文写法很安全很讨巧，但是想要拿高分的障碍有几点

1）文章有很多语法错误仔细读读就可以看出来
2）第三点的例子有些空洞，many people指的是那些人，既然已经写到了例子，就要竟可能多样化，丰富语言。
3）本文语言的朴实简单，但是缺少点睛之笔
不过经过修改和加工本文还是很好的，一点点小建议，仅仅建议而已，还请包涵

minnielilyUID：2879008

1# bearseu

水平有限，请多包涵~

bearseuUID：2873933

2# ximeng123


謝謝。。。週末的時候根據你的意見會好好修改的，嘿嘿

bearseuUID：2873933

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement
Telephone has greater influence on people’s lives than TV.　　(Media)


      When it comes to the controversial topic that which has influenced people's lives more, TV or telephone, some persons choose telephone as their answer because of the convenience and better communication it has brought. While some persons insist their selection of TV, in their opinion, TV may change many ways for people to live in the world, such as the value of the world. The dispute is still going on and their responses to the debate are reasonable in their own circumstances. So I can't simply agree telephone has greater influence on people's lives than TV.
       Telephone, as a communication tool, alters the configuration that the communication is limited in the pattern of face-to-face, before it appears. Initially, people can hear the familiar voice of their family members or best friends in the remote area with the help of telephone. It may efficiently relieve the eagerness to meet each other. Then, with the development of the world, the telephone can provide not only the greetings from the distance, but also various information from the other port of the telephone. For instance, a stock-holder may choose to stay at home and dial the number of stock deal office to listen in the diversifications of his or her stock instead of staying in the deal hall to star at the screen all the day.
      TV, another great invention, also influence people's live a lot in different fields. With this invention, people can know the significant events happened in the world and have a better understand of their world they live in to value or improve the quality of their lives. And many amusement programs on TV is funny enough to relax person who has worked an entire day .So TV can decorate people's lives with laughter. What's more, their lives' styles of the persons on the screen may have a quiet but profound effect on people themselves. This may be the reason we try our best to avoid the children to contact the violent programs on TV.
        So telephone and TV are both effective to affect people's lives. In my opinion, we can't say telephone is more powerful in the ability to change people's lives or TV is. The effect depends in circumstances not absolute results.

bearseuUID：2873933

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:. X4 r7 x. L3 F3 l3 ~/ i  x
　　Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits.


      Nowadays, advertising is around us, which is not only on the newspaper we read, but also on the TV, the screens of the public areas, internet and even the front pages of our major books. Among various advertisements, the food advertisements always look so attractive that our stomach is conquered by the delicious food. But many of them are well-looking but just junk food which causes some unhealthy eating habits of people in life. So some people prefer to confirm that they can attribute their unhealthy eating habits to advertising mostly. While I don’t agree with this statement with several reasons followed.
      First of all, I admit that attractive advertising may be reasons of unhealthy eating habits, but never the leading cause. And if the advertising is the most important cause, in a world nearly full of advertisements, why only a few portions of people have unbalanced diet, not everyone? In my opinion, the main reason may be the ability of self-discipline. For example, a well self-disciplined man can resist the unhealthy food and control his desire to eat junk food advertised everywhere.
      In addition, the construction of people’s diet also plays an important role in the formation of a balanced diet. The unbalanced diet owners like to eat the food advertised because the junk food meets their appetites. So the construction of their diet will be diagonal to concentrate to the unhealthy food. Taking the American children as an example, many children are fatter than the criterion because they are fond of fast food, such as KFC, which usually lack the necessary nutrition for their bodies. It’s appetite that influents their eating habits, not the results of the advertisements.
       Furthermore, unhealthy eating habits can be caused by many other important factors besides what have been discussed above. For instant, an abnormal working time schedule, like working until the morning while eating at midnight to avoid starving, can lead to more than an unhealthy eating habit, which can cause a terrible stomach cancer. In this situation, the role of advertising disappears at all. So the advertising is the most important cause, which seems a little absurd.
      Consequently, advertising can’t be the most important cause of unbalanced diet.

jianndqinUID：2492884

8-19 改好

serena-blueUID：2811284

Nowadays, advertising is around us, which is not only on the newspaper we read, but also on the TV, the screens of the public areas, internet and even the front pages of our major books(what's major book?). Among various advertisements, the food advertisements always look so attractive that our stomach is conquered by the delicious food. But many of them are well-looking but just junk food which causes some unhealthy eating habits of people in life. So some people prefer to confirm that they can attribute (blame，attribute有归功于的意思）their unhealthy eating habits to advertising mostly. While I don’t agree with this statement with several reasons followed.+ E

/ F3 N1 Z% I5 S- L
      First of all, I admit that attractive advertising may be reasons of unhealthy eating habits, but never（not) the leading cause. And if the advertising is the most important cause, in a world nearly full of advertisements, why only a few portions of people have unbalanced diet, not everyone? In my opinion, the main reason may be the ability of self-discipline. For example, a well self-disciplined man can resist the unhealthy food and control his desire to eat junk food advertised everywhere. + v& A9 b9 E9
很喜欢那句反问句，学习了。

a/ \5 Z9 \) d
      In addition, the construction of people’s diet also plays an important role in the formation of a balanced diet. The unbalanced diet owners like to eat the food advertised because the junk food meets their appetites. So the construction of their diet will be diagonal to concentrate to the unhealthy food. Taking the American children as an example, many children are fatter than the criterion because they are fond of fast food, such as KFC, which usually lack the necessary nutrition for their bodies. It’s appetite that influents their eating habits, not the results of the advertisements.& D& e3 ^$ }0 g% f3 B1 W
这个论证感觉不是很有说服力，建议楼主修改一下
       Furthermore, unhealthy eating habits can be caused by many other important factors besides what have been discussed above. For instant, an abnormal working time schedule, like working until the morning while eating at midnight to avoid starving, can lead to more than an unhealthy eating habit, which can cause a terrible stomach cancer. In this situation, the role of advertising disappears at all. So the advertising is the most important cause, which seems a little absurd.
这里面提到的，不规律饮食，我个人觉得，也是不健康饮食习惯的一种，而不是它的诱因
  Consequently, advertising can’t be the most important cause of unbalanced diet.
结尾太简练了，呵呵，最好再丰富一点。

bearseuUID：2873933

21号的独立作文，最近一直在外地，不想浪费TPO的综合真题，留着考前冲刺用了。

21号的自己写的觉得在论断逻辑有点问题，但是想了好久也没想出更好的思路，希望高手指点。

独立：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:
The best way to improve education is to raise teachers’ salaries.　　(Money)

      Education is always an eternal hot topic among persons. And people usually believe that teachers have the most important job in all of society because teachers play a crucial role in education. They raise the children to be forward-thinking, bright individuals. They ensure that children get along with each other, and learn to work together as a team. So the treatments of teachers should be valued to make sure the quality of education in some degrees. However, when some people propose that the best way to improve education is to raise teachers’ salaries, I can hardly agree.
      First of all, I admit that to raise teachers’ salaries means the improvement of teachers’ treatment and an encouragement on their teaching motivation. So it’s possible for teachers to concentrate more their mind on the teaching, which can lead to the enhancement of education. While it’s possible that to raise teachers’ salaries doesn’t work at all because a weak physical situation of a teacher may be the real reason to explain the staying or even descend of education, not the problems related to salaries. So we can say that to increase the abilities, energy and motivation of teaching will do a favor in the improvement of education. But to raise teachers’ salaries doesn’t solve all the problems and it can’t be the best way to improve education.
            What’s more, the improvement of education is not only the responsibility of teachers but also the students.  Students are the direct participates of education, whose role can’t be ignored. For example, an excellent teacher and a ground of students who hate learning are having a class. You can image what a embarrassing occasion it is! So in order to enhance education, firstly it’s necessary to train the students’ desire to absorb knowledge despite the factors related with teachers. And it’s apparently that to bring up the qualities of students is more efficient than to raise teachers’ salaries.
             Furthermore, when good teachers and students full of eagerness are all already, a scientific and reasonable teaching plan is so important to improve education. For example, a curriculum, which is filled in various subjects and thoughtful breaks, is much better than a dull curriculum where the boring and difficult disciplines can be seen easily.
           To sum up, to raise teachers’ salaries can make a contribution to the improvement of education in some certain circumstance, but in most situations to bring up well-organized and vigorous teacher and cooperative students and to arrange a reasonable curriculum is more efficient to improve education.

longxue26UID：2687755

9# bearseu

Education is always an eternal hot topic among persons. And people usually believe that teachers have the most important job in all of society because teachers play a crucial role in education. They raise the children to be forward-thinking, bright individuals. They ensure that children get along with each other, and learn to work together as a team. So the treatments of teachers should be valued to make sure the quality of education in some degrees. However, when some people propose that the best way to improve education is to raise teachers’ salaries, I can hardly agree.  开头蛮不错!

First of all, I admit that to raise teachers’ salaries means the improvement of teachers’ treatment and an encouragement on their teaching motivation. So it’s possible for teachers to concentrate more their mind on the teaching, which can lead to the enhancement of education<这句可以和上句合并>. While<however,> it’s possible that to raise teachers’ salaries doesn’t work at all because a weak physical situation of a teacher may be the real reason to explain the staying or even descend of education, not the problems related to salaries.在展开一两句说吧 So we can say that to increase the abilities, energy and motivation of teaching will do a favor in the improvement of education. But to raise teachers’ salaries doesn’t solve all the problems and it can’t be the best way to improve education.

What’s more, the improvement of education is not only the responsibility of teachers but also the students.  Students are the direct participates of education, whose role can’t be ignored. For example, an excellent teacher and a ground of students who hate learning are having a class. You can image what a embarrassing occasion it is! So in order to enhance education, firstly it’s necessary to train the students’ desire to absorb knowledge despite <这么用 为啥啊? 不妥当吧...>the factors related with teachers. And it’s apparently that to bring up the qualities of students is more efficient than to raise teachers’ salaries.

Furthermore, when good teachers and students full of eagerness are all already, a scientific and reasonable teaching plan is so important to improve education. For example, a curriculum, which is filled in various subjects and thoughtful breaks, is much better than a dull curriculum where the boring and difficult disciplines can be seen easily. 嗯这段是个好观点

To sum up, to raise teachers’ salaries can make a contribution to the improvement of education in some certain circumstance, but in most situations to bring up well-organized and vigorous teacher and cooperative students and to arrange a reasonable curriculum is more efficient to improve education.

觉得中间论证部分可以再加强些 但是角度还是很好地 羡慕啊 我想死了脑袋也想不出来 昨天都快疯了

jianndqinUID：2492884

0821 独立改好



我的作文贴
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1140167-3-1.html

好像你19号的还没有给我改～～～～

bearseuUID：2873933

23号的独立
独立： 09.01.10NA
       Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Improving schools is the most important factor in the successful development of a country.

bearseuUID：2873933

24号的独立作文，欢迎指导，狠拍

louisa427UID：2458920

语言方面没有语法问题，主要是例子的运用上，通过审题，你同意报纸和杂志是最好的方式去了解一个国家，那么你相对应的就是应该说，为什么是最好的，什么方式了解的，结果你了解到了什么你原来不知道的，审题有点偏差，导致后面的文章看得出写的比较艰难。

bearseuUID：2873933

14# louisa427

额。。貌似我的观点是否定的，不同意newspaper 和 magazines.