Joyce's Daily Writting~~~4.20独立

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

When asked about whether it is easier to achieve success in the past, quite a few people may stick to the point that people living in the past is much more likely to succeed, nevertheless, others hold the opposite view and this is also my point. I am incline to the latter owning to not only the better education but also the much advanced information and technology system as well as the booming economy.

First and foremost, education in today improves considerably. There is no denying the fact that so vital and dispensable a role that education plays on one's way to success. It is education that equips people with knowledge and endows humans with wisdom.Nevertheless, it is as clear as day light that current education is far superior to that in the past. Firstly, the quality of education has enhanced remarkably. Nowadays, we have much more knowledgeable and experienced teachers who are experts in the relevant field as well as mastering more excellent psychological methods to make their theory to be readily assimilated and absorbed. For instance, a majority of present teachers graduated from universities and received systematic education ranging from their majors to pedagogy. Better approaches employed by these elite teachers will ensure students grasp academic subjects well. Secondly, the opportunities for students to obtain education are multiplied. Education is becoming increasingly prevalent, and consequently, it is rather easier for people to have an valuable access to education, especially those in rural areas. Few children in barren land managed to learn knowledge, however, kids in these area can be guaranteed with education at large, at least the nine year's compulsory education. In short, today's outstanding and popular education overshadows the past's low level and less massive one, which definitely serves as a catalyst for our future success.

Of equal significance is the fact that we now live in a marvelous era, an era teeming with innumerable priceless information and state of art technology, which is available and accessible without much effort. An apt example is like this: one can research any vocations he craves for on the internet all around the world and is able to send his applications to diverse firms simultaneously. Imagine that without the assist of internet which provides convenient information and is based on developed technology, how less choices that poor man could select and how low the rate that he was fortunate enough to be employed, and how tough for he to acquire success, particularly if he was not so eminent and talented in his field.

Further lending credence to my position is the fact that economy have progressed a lot. It is reported that the GDP in China is more than five times as the one 20 years ago. The prosperous economy, thankfully, creates brand new and innovative careers such as people whose work is tasting candies and people who beatify pets as well as produces enormous demand for staffs. A variety of occupations waiting for us, and therefore there is no exaggeration to say that it is much easier for us to success nowadays.

Admittedly, there are some merits in the old days, namely, fewer fierce competitions, less stress and so forth, which is disputable to be less arduous and painstaking for individuals to fulfill their triumph. However, considering the unrivaled and unparallel advantages of brilliant education, awesome information and technology system and vibrant economy, the present still outweighs the past. Therefore, I reinforce my standpoint that it is easier to succeed at current.

ILOVECHEMISTRYUID: 2969217

Revised by ILOVECHEMISTRY(马邑骐骥) 4.20 Revised by Myyiqiji.doc (35 KB, 下载次数: 8)

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ILOVECHEMISTRYUID: 2969217

亲，给你改完了！加油！今天没写呢？

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

Nowadays, along with increasingly rapid pace of globalization and integration, people of growing number are beginning to move to new cities or even new countries. Prior leaving, some are afflicted by the notion that it is so sorrowed and sad for themselves to depart their intimate and reliable friends, while others, by contrast, cannot help showcasing their expectation of new life. So whether it is a good thing to move to new places at a loss of old friends or not is a really interesting topic. From my perspective, I am more inclined to the point view that it is rather a comedy rather than a tragedy.

First and foremost, we are able to enlarge our horizon and enrich our knowledge remarkably when moving to a strange place. Customs and etiquettes in different areas all over the world vary considerably. It is no surprise to us at all that there are, more or less, differences and divergence between the new dwelling and the old one. So as to adapt to new life as quick as possible, we are supposed to learn these unfamiliar but extremely practical customs and etiquettes. It is of utmost significance for the simple reason that by the process we obtain plentiful knowledge and unique culture concerning current area. An apt is example is the following case. Several years ago, owning to my parents' altering working place, I lived in Xinjiang Province for half a year, which is a most remote place away from my hometown. I occurred to know that the Wei people, a minority people in China, don't eat pork meal for a myriad of descents, for the sake of their unshakable belief and loyal region of Qingzhen. It is no doubt that the incidence serves as a catalyst for me to know more about the mysterious Qinzhen Religion. In short, moving to a new place can uncontroversially be a positive and efficient channel to broaden one's horizon and increase one's knowledge.

Of equal importance is the fact that moving provides us an excellent opportunity to acquire far more friends. We seem to tend to have a particularly busy life during the early days in the new areas. We are busy adjusting to the new occupations; we are busy purchasing all kinds of comedies; we busy acquainting with our new communities and so forth. The more busy our lives are, the more exposure to the new city, the far more chance we earn to make friends with local people, ranging from friendly colleagues to kind neighbors. So exciting and thrilling the experience is! Sometimes we may be probably obsessed with the beautiful new life, a life that refreshes and amazes us constantly and a life that endows us with cute friends. The joining of new friends is likely to alleviate our missing of old friends.

Admittedly, it is unavoidable that we might have nostalgia and extraordinarily missing our former friends at certain times, especially when we confront the embarrassing or unpleasant situation. With unfavorable culture shock and probation, it cannot be too normal. However, considering the multiple knowledge and sincere new friends, the merits of moving to another place overshadow the drawbacks. Therefore, we can safely draw our conclusion that it is definitely a good thing for people to move to a new area.

qfaithUID: 2657846

已修改！！
4# JoyceJingYang

yecochiUID: 2693601

hi, Joyce!
You write pretty well.
The following are just some suggestions.


Do youagree or disagree with the following statement?
It is often not a good thing to move to a new city or a new country because ofthe losing of old friends？



Nowadays, along with increasingly rapidpace of globalization and integration, people of growing number are beginningto move to new cities or even new countries. Prior leaving, some are afflictedby the notion that it is so sorrowed and sad for themselves to depart theirintimate and reliable friends, while others, by contrast, cannot help showcasing theirexpectation of new life. So whether it is a good thing to move to new places at a loss of oldfriends or not is a really interesting topic. Frommy perspective, I am more inclined to the point view that it is rather acomedy rather than a tragedy.  p3 U$ y! l$ u) l, t8 r
1 j% ~5 V;t  R# k- w1 V
First and foremost, we are able to enlarge our horizon and enrich our knowledgeremarkably when moving to a strange place. Customs and etiquettes in differentareas all over the world vary considerably. It is no surprise to us at all thatthere are, more or less, differences and divergence between the new dwellingand the old one. So as to adapt to new life as quick as possible, we aresupposed to learn these unfamiliar but extremely practical customs andetiquettes. It is of utmost significance for the simple reason that by theprocess we obtain plentiful knowledge and unique culture concerning currentarea. An apt is example is the following case.Several years ago, owning to my parents' altering workingplace/ workplace, I lived in Xinjiang Province for half a year, which isa most remote place away from my hometown (in China).I occurred to know that the Wei people, aminority people in China,don't eat pork meal for a myriad of descents, for the sake of their unshakablebelief and loyal region of Qingzhen. It is no doubt that the incidence servesas a catalyst for me to know more about the mysterious Qinzhen Religion. Inshort, moving to a new place can uncontroversially be apositive and efficient channel to broaden one's horizon and increase one'sknowledge./ It is no doubt that relocation provides a positive and efficientway to broaden one’s horizon and increase one’s knowledge.
# n+ A#g7 Y! Q. V8 N/ [5 Q3 a8 f!e# E* @8 C; }: ~
Of equal importance is the fact that moving/ relocationprovides us an excellent opportunity to acquire far more friends. We seem to (tend to) have aparticularly busy life during the early days in the new areas. We are busy adjusting to the newoccupations; we are busy purchasing all kinds of comedies; we busy acquaintingwith our new communities and so forth. (We are busy adjusting to the new occupations, purchasingall kinds of comedies and acquainting with our new communities and so forth.)The busier our lives are, the more exposure to the new city, the far more chance we earn to makefriends with local people, ranging from friendly colleagues to kind neighbors.So exciting and thrilling the experience is! Sometimes we may be probably obsessed with thebeautiful new life, a life that refreshes and amazes us constantly and a lifethat endows us with cutefriends. The joining of new friends is likely to alleviate our missing of old friends.
7 n% {9 z' `0 v7 Z1 g& @2 [' y, F* j. e; h. ?
Admittedly, it is unavoidable that we might have nostalgia and extraordinarilymissing our oldfriends at certain times, especially when we confront the embarrassingor unpleasant situation. With unfavorable culture shock and probation, it cannotbe too normal. 不太懂這句


(個人建議把讓步獨立寫一段，結論總結supporting ideas另寫一段)
However, considering themultiple knowledge and sincere new friends, the merits of moving to anotherplace overshadow the drawbacks. Therefore, we can safely draw our conclusionthat it is definitely a good thing for people to move to a new area.


Aformer friend is a person who used to be a friend, but for some reason is nolonger a friend. Another term would be ex-friend

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Movies and televisions should always show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished.


Nowadays, a growing number of people are tending to be captured by the increasingly diverse movies and television programs, which are equipped with magnificent images, beautiful voices and attractive contents. People, old or young, rich or young, male or female, are so obsessed with movies and televisions that they are of great pleasure to spent plentiful part of their leisure time to watch them. So, it is really critical for movies or TV shows to select the stuffs which are supposed to present to millions of audience. One of the most urgent and concerned question is: should movies and televisions always show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished? Opinion varies from people to people. From my perspective, I am more inclined to not to do so.

First and foremost, it diverges too far away from our reality. Our world is not a world always teeming with justice and fairness but a world which does exist partial treatment and prejudice, not a world that always the good is rewarded and extolled and the bad is penalized but a world that does ignore even misunderstand kind civilians and tolerate criminals unconsciously sometimes, and not a world always ending with a perfect consequence but a world does have its shallows. If the press put too much emphasis on the perfection of an ideal but actually never existing world, the civilians are likely to fail to reveal the true appearance of the world. However, if one wants to live in, or furthermore, derive on this planet, he or she must understand what the real world looks like. It is hard to imagine that a person who consistently lives in the virtual bright world is able to confront a variety of less fair cases. Take a step further, even if he or she was tough enough to adapt, how harsh the process would be for one to surmount such a deep gap between the world on the screen and the reality. If this situation goes an extreme, one would even become solitary, suffered plenty of pains and then addicted himself or herself to the fantasy, which leads to a vicious recycle in turn. In short, if always playing such programs, it is undoubtedly unhealthy to growth of people.

Of equal importance is the fact that the movie and television industries may decline, which would cause great loss in both economy and culture. Stereotyped episodes never earn a favorable position in modern society, a society which regards innovation and creativity as ultimate and permanent pursuit. An apt example is the following case. A majority of international companies are willing to employ creative adults applicants rather than ones lacking of innovative ability in a interview. If all movies followed an identical mode, undoubtedly this would risk them at a dangerous edge, facing the danger of being discarded. Then, movies and TV industries would lose their considerable market since they failed to appeal to their massive customers. The declination of movies and TV industries would inevitably exert a tremendous adverse impact on economy and culture, for they are two of the most prevalent channels to promote culture and foster economy.

Admittedly, there are indeed some merits bringing by the change. For example, people may enjoy the forever romantic and just world which virtualized by the plays, and it does offer an optional escape from the stressful and competitive life. People are able to obtain pleasure from the hilarious ending if they do not overdo. Also, the positive side in the plays may give a lot of confidence to the pessimists and help them rebuild their world views. However, if movies and TVs overdo, it is impossible to realize most above-mentioned advantages.

To sum up, considering the adverse affect of misleading people and economic and cultural loss, I reinforce my standpoint that movies and TVs should not always show audience good people being rewarded and bad people being punished.

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

4.25独立
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only movies that can teach us something about real life worth watching.

Nowadays, a great number of people are captured by all manner of movies. Since the increasing impact that movies exert on people's lives, movies have undoubtedly caused wide pubic concern these days all over the world. One of the questions under debate is that whether only movies that can teach us something about reality are worthy watching. From my perspective, movies that educate us about realistic world, undoubtedly, are of great significance for us to watch, nevertheless, it is not necessarily mean that this type is the mere type that is worthy our appreciating.

On one hand, it is undeniable that movies which depict the picture of realistic life are of utmost importance to watch. Firstly, this genre of movie will illustrate and demonstrate the philosophy of life to audience.  Watching Wall Street enable us  to realize that a person who always seeks for a shortcut to succeed and is unwilling to endeavor is more likely to fail; watching Remember Me help us to know that family bonding is cornerstone of one's happiness; watching the Pianist assist us to know one should keep peace in their mind and resist the temptation of life if he or she longs to achieve their dreams. Secondly, this movies provide a positive channel for us to learn more about exotic culture. A noted example is that we are able to acquire countless valuable information about American customs and etiquettes by virtue of seeing the movies describing ordinary families in USA. Thus, this category of movies, convertibly, is significant and critical resource for us to watch.

On the other hand, there is no denying the fact that other types of movies are of equal importance. As Einstance saying that" Imagination is more important than knowledge", so dispensable and crucial for us to see the imagery movies, which serve as catalysts for us, especially for children and youth, to develop and cultivate their imagination and creativity. This can be exemplified by the following case. J.K Rolling read a piles of fiction novels when she was a little girl. Consequently, this fostered and strengthened her ability to create and imagine considerably, which laid a solid foundation for her later marvelous writing masterpiece--the series of Harry Potter. Imagine that without movies about virtual world, how a massive loss for human to cultivate our imaginary and innovative ability! Besides, people can find a way to release their pressure came about by the rapid tempo of life by watching comedy movies. So cheerful and funny these movies are that they are capable of lighting people up and to a large extent to alleviate their pressure. Hence, it is conspicuous that other types of movies are worthy watching for the sake of cultivation of imagination and recreation.

From what have discussed above, I firmly convinced that despite the value of movies which enlighten us by teaching us something about real life, others movies are so helpful and useful that are of significance to watch.

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

4.26  Do you agree or disagree that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries?

Nowadays, education plays an integral role in the soaring development of a country and has caused wide public concerns these days all over the world. One of the question under debate is whether the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Some people are in favor of the statement, whereas, others express suspicious about the claim. From my perspective, improving the faculty's salaries indeed a significant way to enhance the quality of education, but it is too hasty to say it is the best one.

On one hand, there is no denying that increasing the teachers' salaries is helpful to enhance the quality of education. Firstly, the advancement of teachers' compensation may assure painstaking teachers a more comfortable life and can alleviate the pressure of life. With more money in hand, teachers are able to lead a desirable life, physically as well as mentally. Consequently, the sufficiency of their life will bring about more pleasure and more passion for their work. They can devote themselves into the crucial education cause more thoroughly, which benefits the breakthrough of education remarkably. Secondly, the increasing payment may appeal more people to education. With the intense driving of money, a growing number of people are likely to choose teachers as their vocation. For example, provided that the salaries improved, it is not hard to draw the picture that elite graduates from colleges may choose to become teachers. Undoubtedly, with the participation of excellent talents, the educational field would make soaring development. It is conspicuous that a favorable choice to improve the quality of education is increasing teachers' compensation.

On the other hand, increasing the salaries does exert positive impact on education, still, it not necessarily mean that it is the best way. A variety of optional measures can be adopted by the authorities to foster the development of education. An apt example is the following case. Through twenty years' persistent, consistent and systematic training of teachers, Chinese education has made gigantic progress, which can be partly exemplified by the increasing number of Chinese students who become champions of diverse international competitions. Further lending credence to my position is that Chinese government augments the proportion of fund to guarantee the construction of underlying yet essential infrastructure and facilities. Consequently, those effective and far-reaching measures bring about more opportunities for students to expose to the state-of-the-art product and technology such as computer and Internet, which definitely equip students with vast horizon and invaluable knowledge. Thus, these, indirectly, to a large extent, nurture the advancement of education.

Admittedly, increasing teachers' payment is of great importance to develop education. However, without the essential improvement of the quality of teachers, which mostly relies on the regular training, and the advancement with the infrastructures, how can education fulfill its real growth?

To sum up, to improve the quality of education, increasing the teachers' salaries is not necessarily the best method, though it is also critical and urgent. Only combining with various approaches simultaneously can we achieve genuine advancement in education.

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

4.27 独立
Do you agree or disagree? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

When asked about whether a job with more vacation but a low salary is better than a job high salary but less vacation time, quite a few would pursue a job with considerable payment yet less vacation, whereas, others hold the opposite view. From my perspective, I'm more inclined to earn lower money but own more vacation for the following reasons.

First and foremost, people would become healthier with more vacation. Firstly, with more frequent vacation, people would have more time to exercise and keep fit. Physical fitness to human is what water to fish. Everyone who live a better life are supposed to stay physical fitness. Provided that there is more vacation time, people are able to acquire much more opportunities to strengthen their physical health such as playing basketball, swimming and so forth. Secondly, it contributes, directly or indirectly, to people's mental health. More vacation time liberates people from tedious and arduous work, and as a consequent, alleviate people's pressure of career to a large extent. Recreation and relaxation would refresh their minds, rebulid their bodies and rebirth their spirits.

Of equal importance is the fact that people would attain more time to do something they crave for. Under rapid pace of life, many a person dismissed the idea that they would do something desirable every day. An apt example is the following case. A growing number of white-collars always find inadequate time to communicate with their children who are really in need of the opportunities to get along with parents and visit their aged parents who miss offsprings very much. Nonetheless, those dilemmas could be overturned instantly with the offer of more vacation time. People who used to complain about very limited time to spend time with families are able to go barbecue or camping with their dear families. Besides, people could utilize the valuable vacation time to pick up their interests and hobbies again. For instance, going travelling, mountain climbing, photo taking and hiking are desirable and favorable choices.

Apart from the two points mentioned above, people can also devote to their work more effectively and more efficiently, performing increasingly better. Consequently, tremendous joys and senses of fulfillment are created by the process, which really seasons their ordinary lives.

Admittedly, a job with a high salary but less vacation time does have several merits, namely, more affluent life and more luxurious consumption. However, compared with health, access to dreaming deeds, efficiency in work, joy and a sense of achievement, those alleged merits of decent jobs pale. In fact, if one cannot enjoy the life better, what is the meaning of large incomes? Therefore, I reinforce my standpoint that a job with more vacation time but a low salary is a more satisfactory one.

JoyceJingYangUID: 3052237

Integrated writing
4.27
In the lecture, the speaker maintains that the compulsory policy that companies in USA should offer optional choice for staff to working in five days in a week with full salaries or in for days a week with eighty percent salaries has nothing to do with the benefits for firms, country as well as individuals. However, this is different from the reading passage, which contends that this measure will be beneficial to the three sides mentioned before. Thus, the view of the two are divergent.

First of all, the speaker claims the fact that co-operations will spend more money due to the policy. According to him, since some employees chose to a four-day workweek, companies have to hire new workers to supplement their jobs. Although people working four days in a week merely acquired eighty percent of original salaries, new members need same welfare as other workers, such as training and medical benefits. Besides, owning to more people's involvement, there would be, consequently, more office space and computers. The purchase of new facilities would undoubtedly increase the expense. On the contrary, the reading rather deviating from the listening, demonstrates that companies would take advantage of the policy to produce more profit on account of the two facts that refreshed workers would be alert and make fewer costly errors and hiring more employees would not demand additional cost because the decrease of four-day workers' salaries.

Moreover, the lecturer asserts that it is less impossible to be advantageous for the nation. From his perspective, firms would not like to recruit new workers in that it would increase payments as we discussed above. As a consequent, co-operations seem to be more willing to force their staff to complete initial five-day work in four days, which would definitely give rise to workers' disappointment and frustration. By contrast, the reading passage holds the view that more civilian involving with occupations, the unemployment rate would dramatically reduced.

Finally, the listening part points out that four-day workers' chances to advance their careers and be promoted would be lessened. The policy would decrease job stability for whom decide to work solely four-fifth time and this proportion of employees would probably lose their vocations in a economic downturn. Also, they may lose a great number of opportunities to be promoted as a result from the matter that companies prefer to select a five-day consistent manager to supervise everyday plans. In this regard, the reading part challenges the speaker with the fact that offering more time would improve the individuals' qualities of lives.

In retrospect, the points made in the lecture run counter to those in the reading by showing that neither companies nor country as well as individuals would derive merits form the mandatory policy.

郝郝同学UID: 3024925

[/color]Do you agree or disagree? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.
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When asked about whether a job with more vacation but a low salary is better than a job high salary but less vacation time, quite a few [color=Red]（people）[/color]would pursue a job with considerable payment yet less vacation, whereas, others hold the opposite view. From my perspective, I'm more inclined to earn lower money but own more vacation for the following reasons.
* V2 _& ?, Q& |0 t
First and foremost, people would become healthier with more vacation. Firstly, with more frequent vacation, people would have more time to exercise and keep fit. Physical fitness to human is what water to fish. Everyone [color=Red]who live a better（变成插入语）[/color] life are supposed to stay physical fitness. Provided that there is more vacation time, people are able to acquire much more opportunities to strengthen their physical health such as playing basketball, swimming and so forth. Secondly, it contributes, directly or indirectly, to people's mental health. More vacation time liberates people from tedious and arduous work, and as a consequent, alleviate people's pressure of career to a large extent. Recreation and relaxation would refresh their minds, [color=Red]rebulid （拼写错误）[/color]their bodies and rebirth their spirits.
1 L( M! m- {9 l- t" J' _6 P
Of equal importance is the fact that people would attain more time to do something they crave for. Under rapid pace of life, many a person dismissed the idea that they would do something desirable every day. An apt example is the following case. A growing number of white-collars always find inadequate time to communicate with their children who are really in need of the opportunities to get along with parents and visit their aged parents who miss[color=Red] offsprings （单数吧）[/color]very much. Nonetheless, those dilemmas could be overturned instantly with the offer of more vacation time. People who used to complain about very limited time to spend time with families are able to go barbecue or camping with their dear families. Besides, people could utilize the valuable vacation time to pick up their interests and hobbies again. For instance, going travelling, mountain climbing, photo taking and hiking are desirable and favorable choices.

Apart from the two points mentioned above, people can also devote to their work more effectively and more efficiently, performing increasingly better. Consequently, tremendous joys and senses of fulfillment are created by the process, which really seasons their ordinary lives.
[color=Red]这段是不是可以在扩展一下[/color]0 D6 N. n3 _- Q. k1 ]
Admittedly, a job with a high salary but less vacation time does have several merits, namely, more affluent life and more luxurious consumption. However, [color=Red]compared （comparing）[/color]with health, access to dreaming deeds, efficiency in work, joy and a sense of achievement, those alleged merits of decent jobs pale. In fact, if one cannot enjoy the life better, what is the meaning of large incomes? Therefore, I reinforce my standpoint that a job with more vacation time but a low salary is a more satisfactory one

作者写的很好 个别地方注意一下
单词用的很不错啊 有些句子结构也很漂亮
最后一个理由在扩展下吧

感谢你给我的批改
我昨天的作文被老师否了 那是我最费时写的一篇了 郁闷的快哭了 你对我的肯定真的很感谢

郝郝同学UID: 3024925

Do you agree or disagree? A job with more vacation time but a low salary is better than a job with a high salary but less vacation time.

When asked about whether a job with more vacation but a low salary is better than a job high salary but less vacation time, quite a few （people）would pursue a job with considerable payment yet less vacation, whereas, others hold the opposite view. From my perspective, I'm more inclined to earn lower money but own more vacation for the following reasons.
* V2 _& ?, Q& |0 t
First and foremost, people would become healthier with more vacation. Firstly, with more frequent vacation, people would have more time to exercise and keep fit. Physical fitness to human is what water to fish. Everyone who live a better（变成插入语） life are supposed to stay physical fitness. Provided that there is more vacation time, people are able to acquire much more opportunities to strengthen their physical health such as playing basketball, swimming and so forth. Secondly, it contributes, directly or indirectly, to people's mental health. More vacation time liberates people from tedious and arduous work, and as a consequent, alleviate people's pressure of career to a large extent. Recreation and relaxation would refresh their minds, rebulid （拼写错误）their bodies and rebirth their spirits.
1 L( M! m- {9 l- t" J' _6 P
Of equal importance is the fact that people would attain more time to do something they crave for. Under rapid pace of life, many a person dismissed the idea that they would do something desirable every day. An apt example is the following case. A growing number of white-collars always find inadequate time to communicate with their children who are really in need of the opportunities to get along with parents and visit their aged parents who miss offsprings （单数吧）very much. Nonetheless, those dilemmas could be overturned instantly with the offer of more vacation time. People who used to complain about very limited time to spend time with families are able to go barbecue or camping with their dear families. Besides, people could utilize the valuable vacation time to pick up their interests and hobbies again. For instance, going travelling, mountain climbing, photo taking and hiking are desirable and favorable choices.

Apart from the two points mentioned above, people can also devote to their work more effectively and more efficiently, performing increasingly better. Consequently, tremendous joys and senses of fulfillment are created by the process, which really seasons their ordinary lives.
这段是不是可以在扩展一下Admittedly, a job with a high salary but less vacation time does have several merits, namely, more affluent life and more luxurious consumption. However, compared （comparing）with health, access to dreaming deeds, efficiency in work, joy and a sense of achievement, those alleged merits of decent jobs pale. In fact, if one cannot enjoy the life better, what is the meaning of large incomes? Therefore, I reinforce my standpoint that a job with more vacation time but a low salary is a more satisfactory one

作者写的很好 个别地方注意一下
单词用的很不错啊 有些句子结构也很漂亮
最后一个理由在扩展下吧

感谢你给我的批改
我昨天的作文被老师否了 那是我最费时写的一篇了 郁闷的快哭了 你对我的肯定真的很感谢