issue48 高频机经。链接回拍，3q

疾风劲云UID：184987

Issue48 History 第7篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：68分41秒     543 words
从2005年6月27日22时56分到2005年6月28日0时68分
------题目------
The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.
------提纲------
agree
1，历史事件进程的推动是通过群体执行的方式
2，多数历史冲突的当事方至少为两个博弈的群体或群体组织
3，让步，个人在特殊状态在能够起到关键作用，但是日常的事务施行和意见形成的根本原因是群体意见

结尾引申，过多地强调个人因素可能会导致个人崇拜

提纲的字面表达与原文有出入

------正文------

Human beings write their history all by themselves. As time goes to today, such a
long history proves that the step of civilization is a matter of fact. How to evaluate
the history? Some assert that individual's acting as a great leader is the most crucial,
while other draw a conclusion that history is made by groups of people. At my
point of view, I will recommend the latter idea, though groups of people might
always be ignored by some history scholars.



In the first place, almost all events as well as trends during the steps of history are
getting started and ending up with efforts from groups of people mostly. That is
to say, history is not only written by certain single person. For instance, each
history event is performed by groups of individuals, no matter how little the thing
is and what condition is around. In human society, a part of 'history' made by a
person is called memory technically. From time to time, since a group which is
formed by a pack of people whose rights and benefits are akin intends to
maximize its benefits, the history full of improvement of human community
could be so colorful in modern people's view, maybe even in their opinions
about value. Some history of groups as well as the generally conception of
group-nation is defined by the very group/team undoubtedly, referring to the
fact that some groups seize their future while they take all responsibility
themselves legally.(such as enterprise and football club )




In the second place, many events such as conflicts, revolutions and wars are
inflamed by both sides of people in form of groups. A proverb, “if there is no
wind, there is no wave upon the tranquil water", demonstrates that all conflicts
are produced by a dual side motivation of groups which are made up by people.
To illustrate this facet, I would like to take some famous events as evidence:
there are not only two sides of nation which is founded by groups of people
during two World Wars sadly; the international situation is also inclined to
developed towards the direction of multi-pole. Above makes groups is a
more frequent way to affect history rather than individuals.


Admittedly, some great leader does play a so significant role that we evaluates
as a key or a catalyzer, but mostly their team is always cooperated perfectly, too.
For a concrete example, Odessary's team is an unconquerable one since everyone
in the team is a leader at some special field. In normal condition, groups are a
more direct factor which leads to history going forward. However, I could not
rule out the possibilities that in some emergent moment it is true that a leader
could save the group all by the personal ability. We will re-consider the history
of country, which includes the relationship between Washington & American,
Mao Zedong & PRC.




In conclusion, the wheel of history moves towards front is forced by groups of
people mostly, sometimes even at least two groups in the condition of conflicts.
Granted that great leader also plays a significant role in some situation, nevertheless,
if we over emphasis the importance of a leader, the possibility of individual
over-esteeming will ruin the democracy might rise.

[ Last edited by staralways on 2005-7-28 at 13:14 ]

疾风劲云UID：184987

沉得还真快

maggielongUID：175032

占个座，贴下来了

real_vcUID：195631

问一下楼主
你这篇使用模版写的？
怎么用？谢谢

疾风劲云UID：184987

用模板换换词咯，形式是次要的吧

maggielongUID：175032

Human beings write their history all by themselves. As time goes to today, such a long history proves that the step of civilization is a matter of fact. How to evaluate the history? Some assert that individual's（individuals’） acting as a great leader is the most crucial, while other(others) draw a conclusion that history is made by groups of people. At(As) my point of view, I will recommend(这个词不大好吧~~”建议”.) the latter idea, though groups of people might always be ignored by some history scholars.

In the first place, almost all events as well as trends during the steps of history are getting started and ending up with efforts from groups of people mostly. That is to say, history is not only written by certain single person(persons). For instance, each history event is performed by groups of individuals, no matter how little the thing is and what condition is around. In human society, a part of 'history' made by a person is(去掉) called memory technically(这句读不懂). From time to time, since a group which is formed by a pack of people whose rights and benefits are akin intends to maximize its benefits, the history full of improvement of human community could be so colorful in modern people's view, maybe even in their opinions about value. Some history of groups as well as the generally conception of group-nation is defined by the very group/team undoubtedly, referring to the fact that some groups seize their future while they take all responsibility themselves legally.(such as enterprise and football club )

In the second place, many events such as conflicts, revolutions and wars are inflamed by both sides of people in form of groups. A proverb, “if there is no wind, there is no wave upon the tranquil water", demonstrates that all conflicts are produced by a dual side motivation of groups which are made up by people.(这句用的好) To illustrate this facet, I would like to take some famous events as evidence: there are not only two sides of nation which is founded by groups of people during two World Wars sadly; the international situation is also inclined to developed towards the direction of multi-pole. Above makes groups is a more frequent way to affect history rather than individuals.

Admittedly, some great leader does play a so significant role that we evaluates(evaluate them) as a key or a catalyzer(catalyze), but mostly their team is always cooperated perfectly, too. For a concrete example, Odessary's team is an unconquerable one since everyone in the team is a leader at some special field. In normal condition, groups are a more direct factor which leads to history going forward. However, I could not rule out the possibilities that in some emergent moment it is true that a leader could save the group all by the personal ability. We will re-consider the history of country, which includes the relationship between Washington & American, Mao Zedong & PRC.

In conclusion, the wheel of history moves towards front is forced by groups of people mostly, sometimes even at least two groups in the condition of conflicts. Granted that great leader also plays a significant role in some situation, nevertheless, if we over emphasis the importance of a leader, the possibility of individual over-esteeming will ruin the democracy might rise.

楼主的思想好深刻呀!值得学习!
改不出什么来,只是挑了些小毛病.一起加油:victory:

staralwaysUID：193479

以后请不要重复发贴，并注意发贴格式，谢谢！

polymathUID：179557

Human beings write their history all by themselves. As time goes to todaygoes by建议！, such a long history proves that the step of civilization is a matter of fact. How to evaluate the history? Some some只是个代词，不能单独用主语！建议改成 Some scholar like the speaker asserts that individual's（individuals’） acting as a great leader is the most crucial, while other others draw a conclusion that history is made by groups of people. At my point of view, I will recommend the latter idea, though groups of people might always be ignored by some history scholars.开头写的不错！模板用的很好，观点一目了然！

In the first place, almost all events as well as trends during the steps of history are mainly,同时去掉结尾处的mostly,OK了！getting started were generatedand ending up concluded,建议去掉这一项，有些历史运动并不一定结束了！ with efforts from groups of people mostly. That is to say, history is not only written by certain single person建议改为key individuals . For instance, each history event is performed by groups of individuals, no matter how little the thing is and what condition is around. In human society, a part of 'history' made by a person is(去掉) called memory technically(这句读不懂).同说！这个句子不是举例，而是你在议论。句子有问题！ From time to time, since a group which is formed by a pack of people whose rights and benefits are akin intends to maximize its benefits, the history full of improvements of human community could be so colorful in modern people's view, maybe even in their opinions about value. Some history of groups as well as the generally conception of group-nation is defined by the very group/team undoubtedly, referring to the fact that some groups seize their future while they take all responsibility themselves legally读不下去!太晦涩了！建议用简单的句子说一下！

建议楼主修改一下原文，再发上来！:)


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fishjoyUID：2116013

论点好深奥的说，不过很有新意
例子太少了的说
第三段干脆来个彻底让步好了，要不然与第一个观点是一个意思的。
感觉你对题目的第一句话没有论证到。
继续加油:)

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... ge=1&highlight=

[ Last edited by fishjoy on 2005-7-28 at 15:09 ]

疾风劲云UID：184987

Originally posted by fishjoy at 2005-7-28 15:04
论点好深奥的说，不过很有新意
例子太少了的说
第三段干脆来个彻底让步好了，要不然与第一个观点是一个意思的。
感觉你对题目的第一句话没有论证到。
继续加油:)

[url]https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread ...

先赞一个，写的时候哪来那么多例子啊？？？
你的意见很有针对性，应该扣第一局话做足够让步，有必要在本段让步最后回归一下吧

嗯，准备回拍了

疾风劲云UID：184987

Originally posted by polymath at 2005-7-28 14:47
Human beings write their history all by themselves. As time goes to todaygoes by建议！, such a long history proves that the step of civilization is a matter of fact. How to eval ...

被打击了，嗯，该好好下功夫搞搞语言的门面了
有几点跟你讨论下
1.some 不能做主语吗，查字典例句有some are healthy and some aren't.
不过还是觉得Some scholar like the speaker的表达具体，贴切很多
2.“In human society, a part of 'history' made by a person is called memory technically” 想表达单单由个人诠释的部分历史只能精确地称其为“记忆” 可能annotated更好些
3.晦涩的事是重点，躬耕南阳去了！！！

fishjoyUID：2116013

让步就是一段完整的让步，在最后一段的综述就是回归。
我写作文先用中文在脑子里过一遍观点和例子，然后再用英文表达的，虽然我知道这样的习惯不好的说:)