issue10 Fantasy8.24作业(附提纲,自己已用word修改)互拍!!

flealdaUID: 2118390

------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

提纲
1.表明观点: 不同意
2.让步: 某些大都市的确是保留文化传统的地方
证明我的观点:
3. 1)全球化使大都市无法更好的将传统保留下去
4. 2)相反,乡村文化更有利于传统的延续
5. 3)对城市过多的投入会导致整个国家发展失衡
6.总结观点

------正文------
Culture, an essential element of a society since the early age of a nation's development  in history , is being considered increasingly important today. A new claim recently suggested more financial support should be given to those major cities in order to develop them, for they are the places to preserve the nation's culture. Do the governments have to devote financial aids to the cities for that reason? Could a nation's cultural traditions really thrive with the development of a city? Whether the advanced technologies is a more of blessing or of a curse for culture? Answers vary considerably amongst different people from various backgrounds. As for me, I have my own reservation with the argument.

It can not deny that there are many cities have the characteristics of the nation, and some of them are remained from the origin ancient times. This is why the four ancient empires are famous throughout the world's history. Today they are the major tourism cities that attract thousands of people all over the world to visit. Tremendous economic opportunities are brought in which made the whole nation's status in the international business improved. Consequently, those big cities deserve extra financial support from the government. Take the city of Beijing, for example, the capital of China is the major representative for the country. Not only the palaces of each empire had been well protected for the offspring but also the greatest ancient architecture feat, the Great Wall, which standing in the east corner of the city witnessed the nation's 5000 years history.

However, the profound impact from globalization has made the big cities harder and harder to remain unchanged and could no longer handle down the traditional cultures continuously from one generation to the other. Massive distribution of information require a more efficient way of living style, without which they may not get advanced as others. For instance, food preparing once was an art in China. But complex progress and long hours were always be need before a delicious meal. With the convenience of high technology, preparing a meal seems to be easier and more formulaic. People have to eat simpler but quicker food to keep pace in busy hours. Today people in their twenties' in large cities could rarely cook a traditional meal for the New Year's Eve ( also known as Spring Festival ), while most of them are unable to cook a single dinner even with the help of microwave-oven. (我本想说饮食是中国的一种文化,可不会表达,只好用preparing food来代替了,到底应怎么表达呢?)

On the other hand, because of the slower pace in rural aeras, children have more opportunities to learn lots of cultural traditionas such as embroidery, a well-known art skill with needles and treads. Therefore, instead of urban areas, the countryside owns more advantages to thrive the cultures. The effects of investment on the metropolis are incomparable with that on rural areas in the aspect of cultural preservation.

What is more, too mach focus on the major cities will lead to an unbalanced situation in the country. The countrysides are usually the farming lands which are vital for a nation's survival and thus need more attention the governments paid. Without help from it, few farmers would benefit from their jobs and what is worse, they may not make th ends meet. In this way, the future prospects of the nation will be threatened. Unlike the developed countries, farmers in the third world countries are still lack of money to enhancing their working conditions, and in Africa, nearly half of the pesants are using the oldest outdated tools to make a living. Financial aids should be given to those areas which are urgently need for help. Otherwise, however advanced the urban areas are, the whole country has no chance to be developed overall.

As all I discussed above, government should not only concentrate on the major cities but pay attention to the countryside as well. By doing so, a nation's cultural traditions could be preserved and generated together with the flourishing future of the society.

说明:
1.用了110分钟,严重超时:vomit:
2.饮食文化怎么表达呢??

fancingUID: 208191

Culture, an essential element of a society since the early age of a nation's development  in history , is being considered increasingly important today. A new claim recently suggested more financial support should be given to those major cities in order to develop them, for they are the places to preserve the nation's culture. Do the governments have to devote financial aids to the cities for that reason? Could a nation's cultural traditions really thrive with the development of a city? Whether the advanced technologies 用单数更好吧 is a more of blessing or of a curse for culture? 我觉得这句问句最好不要，因为没看你提纲，没看后面的话会觉得没头没脑的 Answers vary considerably amongst different people from various backgrounds. As for me, I have my own reservation with the argument.

It can not deny that there are many cities have the characteristics of the nation, and some of them are remained from the origin original? ancient times. This is why the four ancient empires are famous throughout the world's history. 为什么前面是原因呢？:O Today they are the major tourism cities that attract thousands of people all over the world to visit. Tremendous economic opportunities are brought in which made the whole nation's status in the international business improved. Consequently, those big cities deserve extra financial support from the government. Take the city of Beijing, for example, the capital of China is the major representative for the country. Not only the palaces of each empire had been well protected for the offspring but also the greatest ancient architecture feat, the Great Wall, which standing in the east corner of the city 是在北京东面吗？ witnessed the nation's 5000 years history. 段尾最好总结一下吧

However, the profound impact from globalization has made the big cities harder and harder to remain unchanged and could no longer handle down the traditional cultures continuously from one generation to the other. Massive distribution of information require a more efficient way of living style, without which they 用we比较好吧 may not get advanced as others. For instance, food preparing once was an art in China. But complex progress and long hours were always be 去掉be need needed before a delicious meal. With the convenience of high technology, preparing a meal seems to be easier and more formulaic. People have to eat simpler but quicker food to keep pace in busy hours. Today people in their twenties' in large cities could rarely cook a traditional meal for the New Year's Eve ( also known as Spring Festival ), while most of them are unable to cook a single dinner even with the help of microwave-oven. (我本想说饮食是中国的一种文化,可不会表达,只好用preparing food来代替了,到底应怎么表达呢?)

On the other hand, because of the slower pace in rural areas, children have more opportunities to learn lots of cultural traditions such as embroidery, a well-known art skill with needles and treads. Therefore, instead of urban areas, the countryside owns more advantages to thrive the cultures. The effects of investment on the metropolis are incomparable with that on rural areas in the aspect of cultural preservation.

What is more, too much focus on the major cities will lead to an unbalanced situation in the country. The countrysides are usually the farming lands which are vital for a nation's survival and thus need more attention the governments paid. Without help from it, few farmers would benefit from their jobs ; and what is worse, they may not make the ends meet. In this way, the future prospects of the nation will be threatened. Unlike the developed countries, farmers in the third world countries are still lack of money to enhancing enhance their working conditions, and in Africa, nearly half of the peasants are using the oldest outdated tools to make a living. Financial aids should be given to those areas which are urgently need for help. Otherwise, however advanced the urban areas are, the whole country has no chance to be developed overall. 这一点观点蛮好的，但是后面的阐述没有侧重到怎样会造成不平衡

As all I discussed above, government should not only concentrate on the major cities but pay attention to the countryside as well. By doing so, a nation's cultural traditions could be preserved and generated together with the flourishing future of the society.

总体来说，大框框的逻辑还是蛮好的，但是段中间的逻辑看得有些迷糊。。。
Mm加油啊，比我写得丰富多了，发觉我一不举例就只会几句话翻来覆去说

[ Last edited by fancing on 2005-8-24 at 19:02 ]

batterflyUID: 196681

------题目------
Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive, because it is primarily in cities that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved and generated.

提纲
1.表明观点: 不同意
2.让步: 某些大都市的确是保留文化传统的地方
证明我的观点:
3. 1)全球化使大都市无法更好的将传统保留下去
4. 2)相反,乡村文化更有利于传统的延续
5. 3)对城市过多的投入会导致整个国家发展失衡
6.总结观点

------正文------
Culture, an essential element of a society since the early age of a nation's development  in history , is being considered increasingly important today. A new claim recently suggested more financial support should be given to those major cities in order to develop them, for they are the places to preserve the nation's culture. Do the governments have to devote financial aids to the cities for that reason? Could a nation's cultural traditions really thrive with the development of a city? Whether the advanced technologies is a more of blessing or of a curse for culture?（这句话比较奇怪用在这里，开头的反问既然是基于题目的话，这句话还是不要的好） Answers vary considerably amongst different people from various backgrounds. As for me, I have my own reservation with the argument. （最好还是提出自己的观点）

It can not deny that there are many cities have the characteristics of the nation, and some of them are remained from the origin ancient times. This is why the four ancient empires are famous throughout the world's history. Today they are the major tourism cities that attract thousands of people all over the world to visit. Tremendous economic opportunities are brought in which made the whole nation's status in the international business improved. Consequently, those big cities deserve extra financial support from the government. Take the city of Beijing, for example, the capital of China is the major representative for the country. Not only the palaces of each empire had been well protected for the offspring but also the greatest ancient architecture feat, the Great Wall, which standing in the east corner of the city witnessed the nation's 5000 years history.搂主的逻辑是：有些城市保留了文化传统-----吸引了游客-----促进了经济----政府应该投钱，这个让步个人觉得不好，让步毕竟应该在一定程度上承认题目的观点，但是题目的意思是说由于大城市是文化传统被保留和发展的地方，所以应该投钱，题目中政府投钱的原因是为了是文化传统在这些城市被保留和发展的更好，而不是因为通过文化传统城市能赚钱，政府就应该投钱，可以想一下，既然文化传统能赚钱，已经可以自给自足，那还需要政府投钱干什么？？而且即使这个让步是对的，但是在下面的论述中楼主说全球化使大都市无法更好的将传统保留下去，但是在这一段中所提到的four ancient empires和Beijing，难道就没有被全球化影响？？没有说明白。建议不要些让步，因为要找一个大城市说明国家的文化传统确实存在，又必须收到政府的财政支持才能保持，还没有被全球化影响，不容易！
However, the profound impact from globalization has made the big cities harder and harder to remain unchanged and could no longer handle down (hand down 而非handle down) the traditional cultures continuously from one generation to the other（from one generation to another）. Massive distribution of information require a more efficient way of living style, without which they may not get advanced as others(这句话没有看明白，大多数信息的传播需要更有效的生活方式,??). For instance, food preparing once was an art in China. But complex progress and long hours were always be need before a delicious meal. With the convenience of high technology, preparing a meal seems to be easier and more formulaic. People have to eat simpler but quicker food to keep pace in busy hours（这句话出现的太突然，而且用语太绝对）. Today people in their twenties' in large cities could rarely cook a traditional meal for the New Year's Eve ( also known as Spring Festival ), while most of them are unable to cook a single dinner even with the help of microwave-oven. (注意例子的叙述问题，而且例子举完后一定要总结一下，这样一个分论点结构比较完整)

On the other hand, because of the slower pace in rural aeras, children have more opportunities to learn lots of cultural traditionas such as embroidery, a well-known art skill with needles and treads. Therefore, instead of urban areas, the countryside owns more advantages to thrive the cultures. The effects of investment on the metropolis are incomparable with that on rural areas in the aspect of cultural preservation.（就直接说文化传统其实往往存在于小城镇，不用弄出一个原因，而且这个步伐慢的原因也不很贴切）

What is more, too mach focus on the major cities will lead to an unbalanced situation in the country. The countryside are usually the farming lands which are vital for a nation's survival and thus need more attention the governments（'） paid. Without help from it, few farmers would benefit from their jobs and what is worse, they may not make the ends meet. In this way, the future prospects of the nation will be threatened. Unlike the developed countries, farmers in the third world countries are still lack of money to enhancing their working conditions, and in Africa, nearly half of the pesants are using the oldest outdated tools to make a living. Financial aids should be given to those areas which are urgently need for help. Otherwise, however advanced the urban areas are, the whole country has no chance to be developed overall.（这一段楼主一直在说政府应该资助农村，因为农村很落后，一点没有提到文化传统的问题，我觉得提纲中的第三个论点：对城市过多的投入会导致整个国家发展失衡，与题目关系不大，既然不赞成题目，就该往政府是不是真的需要资助文化传统，文化传统是否在大城市；因为前面已经说文化传统其实不在大城市是在小城镇，这段可以递进：Besides，资助文化传统并不是政府必须的责任）

As all I discussed above, government should not only concentrate on the major cities but pay attention to the countryside as well. By doing so, a nation's cultural traditions could be preserved and generated together with the flourishing future of the society.（全文主要是对题目持反对态度，但是结尾同not only……but also 即认为还是应该资持大城市，不过还要注意小城镇！！不解，而且文中并没有提到政府应该怎样支持小城镇的文化传统，只是说要支持农村的发展，但是结尾用了By doing so, a nation's cultural traditions could be preserved and generated together with the flourishing future of the society）

总的来说提纲的想法不错，但是有的观点不一定能找到好写的例子，还有就是感觉没有很扣题，呵呵，一家之言，欢迎讨论！！:)

嘿嘿，有空也帮我看看嘛issue154
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=325805

[ Last edited by batterfly on 2005-8-25 at 08:37 ]

flealdaUID: 2118390

怎么糊涂?比如......?具体是哪个观点?
请指教:)

fancingUID: 208191

比如把第二段的example放到consequently前面的句子中间
嗯，放在Today和tremendous两句之间吧
会不会更好一点

flealdaUID: 2118390

哦,就是句子读起来有歧异??
是哦,我讲中文就有这个毛病
在帮你看,等一下哈

modeuxUID: 2107416

Culture, an essential element of a society since the early age of a nation's development  in history , is being considered increasingly important today. A new claim recently suggested more financial support should be given to those major cities in order to develop them, for they are the places to preserve the nation's culture. Do the governments have to devote financial aids to the cities for that reason? Could a nation's cultural traditions really thrive with the development of a city? Whether the advanced technologies is 这里主谓不一致 a more of blessing or of a curse for culture? 这里问句用whether不太对吧~~~把系动词提前就可以了的 Answers vary considerably amongst different people from various backgrounds 介词好像不太对，from不同角度或者under不同背景. As for me, I have my own reservation with the argument. 这种提问式的开头，感觉在最后明确提出自己的观点好一些

It can not deny that there are many cities have 用represent可能更好，代表了国家的特性 the characteristics of the nation, and some of them are remained are和remain谓语重复了 from the origin ancient times. This is why the four ancient empires are famous throughout the world's history. Today they are the major tourism cities that attract thousands of people all over the world to visit. Tremendous economic opportunities are brought in which made the whole nation's status in the international business improved 这里感觉读的不太顺，不如直接用improve the…简洁. Consequently, those big cities deserve extra financial support from the government. Take the city of Beijing, for example, the capital of China is the major representative for the country. Not only the palaces of each empire had been well protected for the offspring but also the greatest ancient architecture feat, the Great Wall, which standing in the east corner of the city witnessed the nation's 5000 years history. 这地方吹毛求疵一下，第一the palaces of each empire，并不是所有的朝代都定都北京的喔，第二长城是西起嘉峪关，东迄山海关，不能说是北京的吧~~~虽然苛刻了点，不过还是安全起见，你举别的例子，Summer Palace和Forbidden City好了

However, the profound impact from globalization has made the big cities harder and harder to remain unchanged and could no longer handle down the traditional cultures continuously from one generation to the other一代一代好像应该是from generation to generation吧？. Massive distribution of information requirerequires a more efficient way of living style, without which they may not get advanced as others. For instance, food preparingLZ说的饮食文化，指的是这里吗？可不可以用gastrology，烹饪学？ once was an art in China. But complex progress and long hours不如用preparing time? were always bebe去掉 needneeded，这里表述好像不太好，不如改成….are required before…？ before a delicious meal. With the convenience of high technology, preparing a meal seems to be easier and more formulaic. People have to eat simpler but quicker food to keep pace in busy hours. Today people in their twenties' in large cities could rarely cook a traditional meal for the New Year's Eve ( also known as Spring Festival ), while这里递进一下，不如用even most of them are unable to cook a single dinner even with the help of microwave-oven. (我本想说饮食是中国的一种文化,可不会表达,只好用preparing food来代替了,到底应怎么表达呢?)

On the other hand, because of the slower pace in rural aeras, 感觉生活节奏慢和更多机会学习传统文化，好像因果关系不是很紧密喔~~~children have more opportunities to learn lots of cultural traditionas such as embroidery, a well-known art skill with needles and treadsthreads. Therefore, instead of urban areas, the countryside owns more advantages to thrive the cultures. The effects of investment on the metropolis are incomparable with that on rural areas in the aspect of cultural preservation. 感觉这段论述不够深入，不是很有说服力喔~~~

What is more, too mach focus on the major cities will lead to an unbalanced situation in the country. The countrysides are usually the farming lands 乡下不全是农田吧？呵呵~~~用contain或者involve呢？which are vital for a nation's survival and thus need more attention the governments paid. Without help from it, few farmers would benefit from their jobs and what is worse, they may not make th ends meet. In this way, the future prospects of the nation will be threatened. Unlike the developed countries, farmers in the third world countries are still lack of money to enhancing不用动名词 their working conditions, and in Africa, nearly half of the pesantspeasants are using the oldest outdated tools to make a living. Financial aids should be given to those areas which are urgently need for help. Otherwise, however为什么用however，是不是无论，no matter how？ advanced the urban areas are, the whole country has no chance to be developed overall.

As all I discussed above, government should not only concentrate on the major cities but pay attention to the countryside as well. By doing so, a nation's cultural traditions could be preserved and generated together with the flourishing future of the society.

gzj123UID: 192680

饮食文化Cooking culture

gzj123UID: 192680

如果是限时打完的话就太厉害了!
高人body都是first and second paragraph suppot ,the third disagree,
这个大家可以讨论一下

flealdaUID: 2118390

1.As for me, I have my own reservation with the argument. 这种提问式的开头，感觉在最后明确提出自己的观点好一些

关于这一点是我不想再把题目翻来覆去的说了,可能是因为前面的三个排比反问句想用没用好,尝试失败...:(



2.这地方吹毛求疵一下，第一the palaces of each empire，并不是所有的朝代都定都北京的喔，第二长城是西起嘉峪关，东迄山海关，不能说是北京的吧~~~虽然苛刻了点，不过还是安全起见，你举别的例子，Summer Palace和Forbidden City好了

这里这么写是因为,首先我是地理盲,除了编例子什么都不知道...其次我觉得老美根本就不知道中国的什么什么,在他们眼里都是一样的呵呵(不过下次还是改过来拉 )


3.gastrology，烹饪学
这个词要是GRE词汇的话改卷子的人有可能也不认识哦,如果就象我那样说,虽然假了点,可是都看的懂吧??

4.关于你指出的论述不够充分我想是因为本来那一段是归在它的上面一段的,后来觉得太长了,又怕读者觉得我每篇文章都头重脚轻,所以就放下来另起一段了,改了后也没怎么看,忽略了这个问题...


5.however为什么用however，是不是无论，no matter how？ advanced the urban areas are, the whole country has no chance to be developed overall

however + adj.就等同于no matter however + adj.吧我想...
写的时候就想把句子复杂化,忘了句意和流畅问题

谢谢你了!!!今天的错字少多了吧呵呵

哥哥家有二师兄UID: 2124390

饮食文化culinary
这个是北外和上外的翻译资料中给的翻译

flealdaUID: 2118390

哦...
谢谢哦
祝楼上的后天考好哦
huhu

ldafleaUID: 2132065

不错不错~很好很好!!huhu

modeuxUID: 2107416

culinary是红宝书里有的，这个用起来应该更合适些
不过culinary是形容词，饮食文化大概是culinary culture或者culinary arts吧~~~

ldafleaUID: 2132065

冲啊