Issue212 欢迎大家修改3ks~~

conniewangUID: 2610802

Issue 212"Ifa goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."



If a goal isworthy, then any effort should be made to attain it. This, however, does notmean that we should utilize any means to obtain the worthy goal without givingany consideration to the nature of the means, because no matter how worthy thegoal is, we mustn’t use those means violating other people’s interests, laws orethics.

First of all, whenwe are trying a means profitable for ourselves but harmful to others, we are hurtingthem immorally and even, sometimes, illegally. After Adam Smith, the greateconomist, has pointed out in his famous masterpiece The Wealth of Nations that“economic benefit comes from the self-interested actions of individuals”, thisidea has become the belief of many egoists. They use it as an excuse for theirselfish behaviors which bring a lot of misfortune to other innocent people. However,when he promoted such a theory, he did not originally mean that his theory isused to encourage actions of damaging other people’s interests when pursuing self-interest.Since everyone is equal and everyone has right to purchase his or her interest,but there is a prerequisite -- anyone has no authority to determine and destroyothers’ rights, interests and lives, having been written into laws all over theworld.

If we continue tomanage to attain our goals by any means without any idea of others’ interests,the day we succeed will be the same day we lose our personality. Our egocentricbehaviors will not only injury others, but ourselves as well. We may becomefamous, wealthy , successful ,and what’s more important, notorious. Take theChinese queen Cixi for instance, she was pursuing for her whole life theextreme comfort and power with completely no regard of her people’s lives andher country’s welfare. She killed everybody who was dissatisfied with her. Shegave a huge amount of money and many cities to enemies in order that she couldcontinue to be the Queen of China and to live her luxury life. At last, whenthe enemies was evicted out of China,her body was pulled out of her tomb and beaten by raging soldiers although shehad already died. Cixi was a woman once achieved the highest position of thecountry, but what she left to the world is only notoriety. The process in whichshe managed to attain her goal of power and wealth had largely damaged interestsof other people and the whole country, so in the end she was revenged by thefurious people and directed the tragedy of herself. Absolutely, for such aresult, the cost is too much higher than the benefit.

Therefore, myconclusion is that however worthy your goal is, you must judge carefully themeans you would like to utilize and make sure that they would not violateethics and laws. Since you live in a society composed of people, you shouldhave consideration not only for yourself but also for others. No goal is moreworthwhile than a kind heart.

ErokoUID: 2659745

1# conniewang

Issue 212"Ifa goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."



If a goal isworthy, then any effort should be made to attain it. This, however, does notmean that we should utilize any means to obtain the worthy goal without giving（此处giving应该删掉）any consideration to the nature of the means, because no matter how worthy thegoal is, we mustn’t use those means violating other people’s interests, laws orethics.

First of all, whenwe are trying a means profitable for ourselves but harmful to others, we are hurtingthem immorally and even, sometimes, illegally. After Adam Smith, the greateconomist, has pointed out in his famous masterpiece The Wealth of Nations that“economic benefit comes from the self-interested actions of individuals”, thisidea has become the belief of many egoists. They use it as an excuse for theirselfish behaviors which bring a lot of misfortune to other innocent people. However,when he promoted such a theory, he did not originally mean that his theory isused to encourage actions of damaging other people’s interests when pursuing self-interest.Since everyone is equal and everyone has right to purchase his or her interest,but there is a prerequisite -- anyone has no authority to determine and destroyothers’ rights, interests and lives, having been written into laws all over theworld.（觉得例子引用没到位，有点牵强。如果是说不应该损害他人的话，是否该用些为达目的损害他人的例子比较好呢？这个例子感觉未支持下面的论证）

If we continue tomanage to attain（是不是重复了？删掉manage to) our goals by any means without any idea of others’ interests,the day we succeed will be the same day we lose our personality. Our egocentricbehaviors will not only injury others, but ourselves as well. We may becomefamous, wealthy , successful ,and what’s more important, notorious. Take theChinese queen Cixi for instance, she was pursuing for her whole life theextreme comfort and power with completely no regard of her people’s lives andher country’s welfare. She killed everybody who was dissatisfied with her. Shegave a huge amount of money and many cities to enemies in order that she couldcontinue to be the Queen of China and to live her luxury life. At last, whenthe enemies was evicted out of China,her body was pulled out of her tomb and beaten by raging soldiers although（改even会不会更好一些？） shehad already died. Cixi was a woman once achieved the highest position of thecountry, but what she left to the world is only notoriety. The process in whichshe managed to attain her goal of power and wealth had largely damaged interestsof other people and the whole country, so in the end she was revenged by thefurious people and directed the tragedy of herself. Absolutely, for such aresult, the cost is too much higher than the benefit.(讲故事的篇幅有点长了，是不是缩短一下比较好？）

Therefore, myconclusion is that however worthy your goal is, you must judge carefully themeans you would like to utilize and make sure that they would not violateethics and laws. Since you live in a society composed of people, you shouldhave consideration not only for yourself but also for others. No goal is moreworthwhile than a kind heart.（最后一句是典型的未经论证的结尾，文中没论证的东西最好在结尾不出现为好。）

总体来说感觉论证不怎么有力，刨去开头、结尾，正文的两段主要是说不择手段对他人和对自己的损害。但是对他人有害，具体为何不行？感觉更多的是说教。而对自己有害，感觉这一段比较流畅，但是例子的篇幅比较长，也许可以精简一下。
也许自己再润色一下，琢磨琢磨句子怎样更多变会更好一些。

conniewangUID: 2610802

多谢Eroko！我再好好改改