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大家都去过节了吗?这么好的帖子竟然好久没人跟帖了。。。嘿嘿,初来乍到,水平不高,先按照规矩改一改前位烤友的作文吧,能力有限,请高手指教。 T
Today,the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the development of social consuming ability, sales of popular consumer goods increase at a (an)alarming speed(另外,我认为用现在进行时更好一些,sales of popular consumer goods is increasing at a staggering speed). Under this situation, some people think the high level of consumer sale (sales) means (is attributed to )the strong live(这个live是啥意思,我想是不是改成media hype更好一点…请其他大虾指教。。。) of advertisement only, but (逗号去掉but换成instead of ) the true ability of social need(needs). In my point of view, I do not agree with this issue(改成opinion, issue是“问题”,应该表达你同意哪方观点).
Admittedly, the high need of fashionable goods does not mean that people real need them. Generally speaking, popular goods are (去掉are)emphasis on it's (their/the)fashionable outlook, meanwhile,(meanwhile可以放在句子中间吗?) it's(their) advantages are not so useful in our daily life. Take the mp3 as (for) an example, some people, specially (especially the) youth, would like to buy (a) mp3 with small size, lovely shape or fashionable outface (outlook?), but not whether it is utility(reckless of its utility). So, (逗号去掉,或者改成therefore)young individuals often change to new one, just because they are attracted by popular outlook(buy new gadgets because they are attracted by the fancy and fashionable appearance). Further more, numerous of companies introduce (sale) their new productions through advertising sector. Although advertisement may not be the best way, we can not ignorant it nowadays(没看懂). People can find them in(去掉in) anywhere, such as on the bus, in the TV screen(去掉screen), and in the subway station. So, it is not hard to imagine that civil would like to pick up (be affected to choose/buy) goods which are(occur 不能用被动,去掉are) always occurred in advertisement.
However, is the reason for high sales of popular goods be advertising sector? (is the advertisement the direct reason for high sales of popular goods?) Actually, (这个。。。没见过这种用法,个人觉得应该去掉actually)not exactly. As the growth of GDP, consuming ability is growing fast also (as well). In recent study, we can see that, (去掉逗号)the CIP in (the) latest two years is much higher than that in the past, (去掉逗号)and this growing tendency in (is) continuing. So, (去掉逗号)it is normal that people have (the) ability to buy more modern goods than that in the past. Moreover, the basic function of advertisement is which (to) affords (afford) a good stage to communicate between consumer(s) and producer(s). Consumer(s) get more choice(s) to pick up productions through advertisement, which does not instigate them to buy something that they do not need(没看懂). Last but not least, civil consuming concept has changed. They have gave (given) up their traditional consuming habit that choosing productions with high utilizing value only, but also focusing on aesthetic value and pursuing fashionable characters. (这句需要高人来改了)
To sum up, although advertising influences individuals to prone to buy popular consumer goods in some levels, the more important reason for high sale(s) is who(that people) have(the) ability and who(they) wish to choose them.
总体感觉这位同学和我一样需要继续努力啊。。。 |
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