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标题: argument第四类 同主题写作 8月26-27日 [打印本页]

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作者: tesolchina    时间: 2017-8-11 12:53:00     标题: argument第四类 同主题写作 8月26-27日



Policy Change (3<171>, 5<159, 173>, 12, 16, 17<93>, 18<20>, 19, 34<58, 94>, 36<163, 166>, 42, 56<57, 82>, 59, 63, 68, 74<147, 148, 149, 156>, 75, 109<110>, 41<123, 125>, 132<134, 136>, 152<153>, 61<139, 141, 143, 162>)  
26-27日两天的任务是选取以上其中一道题写一个开头段和至少一个中间段。另外，针对语言表达方面的问题，请在我的修改文档里搜索下面表格里的代码，并选出1-3个含有错误的例句尝试修改。

格式如下第一行注明错误代码
第二行复制粘贴含有错误的句子
第三行尝试修改
第四行谈谈自己对这种错误的体会和想法

对于不知道或不确定如何修改的句子，欢迎在微信大群里@我讨论。

Codes	Issues	Remarks
WC	Word choice/ diction	The word is not  appropriate here; please try a different word   这里主要涉及选词不恰当的问题
RP	rephrase	The sentence or  expression makes little sense and needs to be rephrased  整句话看不懂作者在说啥，需要修改
SS	Sentence structure	The whole sentence is  grammatically problematic and needs to be revised 整句话有句子结构的问题
VR	Vague reference	It is not clear what  the pronouns (e.g. it, they, which) refer to   代词或名词的指代不清晰
MM	Misplaced modifier	The modifier does not  fit with the subject or object being modified 修饰语错位  例如 Eagerly awaiting her birthday, Mary's presents were all picked up and admired by Mary many times throughout the course of the day.
POS	Part of speech	The part of speech of  the word is incorrect in the grammatical context  词性错误，要么是不小心，要么是基础太差
WF	Word form (sometimes  verb form)	The word form is  incorrect- verb forms or plural/singular for nouns   动词形式错误（很严重的语法问题）
SV	Subject-verb agreement	The subject and verb  do not agree in number   主谓一致
RS	Run-on sentence	The sentence needs to  be revised by separating into two or changing one clause into a dependent  clause   断句有问题，需要将这个句子分作两句或者变为主句从句
SF	Sentence fragment	The sentence is  incomplete   句子片段，不是完整的句子
MI	Need more information	More information  should be added here to clarify or expand the sentence 此处需要添加更多信息才清楚（这个不是严格意义上的语言表达问题，但是通常发生在句子层面）
CS	Choppy sentence	Sentences are too  short and could be joined together 太短的句子建议与其他句子合并

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作者: 东扯扯    时间: 2017-8-26 10:49:00



12) Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.


claim: It is believed that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement
data: overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent
warrant: professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes only because of the implement of teaching evaluation
evidence: students’ actual academic performance

claim: Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University because of this dramatic rise grade
data: grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement
warrant: the only difference of students between two universities is the grade
evidence: comprehensive comparison of graduates between two universities

claim: Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors to enable graduates to secure better jobs
data: Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors
warrant: teaching evaluation is the only or major reason affecting graduates to get a job
evidence: other factors accounting for employment


Intro
According to the argument, it is believed that the termination of teaching evaluation can effectively help Omega graduates get better jobs, since that inflated grades are given after implementing this teaching assessment, which makes they less competitive than graduates from Alpha University in employment. However, in order to fully evaluate this argument, it requires a significant amount of additional evidence about the actual academic performance of Omega students, comprehensive comparison of graduates between two universities and factors accounting for employment in this region.

Ts1
To begin with, evidence about the actual students’ academic performance is required to evaluate whether grades are inflated or not. That is to say, solely based on grades, it cannot be determined that teaching evaluation has exerted a positive or negative influence on student achievement. The possibility that professors, in order to raise their reputations and receive better evaluations, have strived to improve their teaching skills after the policy was implemented cannot be ruled out if students do improve their academic skills and acquire more knowledge. This improvement of teaching quality enables students reap more benefits in the class and logically they get higher scores which can accurately reflect their academic achievements in exams. In such case, the argument that higher grades are inflated is significantly undermined and the termination of teaching evaluation makes no sense.



改错

1.        This clues only exist in the rhesus monkeys, Because of the speciality WC genetic makeup of rhesus monkeys.
This clue only exists in the rhesus monkeys because of the specific genes of rhesus monkeys.

2.        Undertaking risky actions without careful consideration before (RP), people might be trapped into a situation that could not find a suitable solution (RP) or even be forced to return to the start.
Undertaking risky actions without thinking twice, people might be trapped into a situation where they could not make it successfully or even be forced to return to the start.

3.        If at the beginning, SS the significant contribution needs making without the past because there isn't any basic.
At the beginning, the significant contribution was made without being influenced by any past achievement because there had been no such basis.

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作者: Angelyyy    时间: 2017-8-26 12:00:37

修改句子：
POS、WC
First, technology development we are making today can be owed to the truly independent and strong persons because the process of bring conveniences and luxuries into our life is our instinct of survival.
First, in order to bring convenience and to make more resource to our life, the people who are independent and ingenious pushed the development of technology for the inner instinct.
宝宝改的还是挺绝望的，试想一下王老师看到这些句子时候的绝望之情……如果对基本句子不熟悉，还是多练习一下基本句子吧。
Luxurious放在这里其实很奇怪，我就改成了resource。
Independent其实没有必要这么生硬的举出来，而且还和strong搭配在一起……我想来想去还是用ingenious和它搭配，但其实也不尽完美。总之其实不用那么生硬甩一个词出来，总得有前后逻辑，对不对？
首先评价一下这个句子真的是完全读不通（请别介意），有些搭配不能这样用，虽然我仔细思考了一下你的用意（考场上没有人会想你想说什么的），于是用了一些我自己惯用的手法修改了你的句子，但是其实比如instinct我从来不熟悉，但是你用了我就想办法给你改出来，但其实不清楚这样改是否地道。所以，不熟悉的词千万不要用，宁可用更简单的句子去表达，你会发现其实也很困难。一步一步来吧。

3.The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

第一段
According to the letter, the author claims the prohibition of the skateboarding on Central Plaza will ensure the business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels. To support his claim, the author described several facts and implied several assumptions. However, the validation of these facts need to be discussed before we accept them.

主题段1
To begin with, the author cited the over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. However, the situation before the increase of the number of shoppers is unsure because the author didn’t provide any data. Possibility could be the number of shoppers started to decrease two years ago because the attraction of the stores is not as good as before. For example, as a lace of innovation, the products in stores are never changed and the shoppers lose interest of the stores.

提纲
Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically.

The number of shoppers in Central Plaza and the selling situation. If it is already low or in the decrease two years ago?
-Because some reasons of the shop owners themselves led to the decrease.
-For example, a lack of innovation. Maybe the products in stores are never changed and the shoppers lose interest of the stores

The claim is untenable without any data to support.
-The claim is made by the speculation of the store owners, possibly.
-The possibility could be that the decrease of the shoppers is irrelevant to the skateboarding because the latter is increased dramatically while decrease of the shoppers is always decrease. Without the skateboarding, the shoppers will decrease still.


Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.
Meanwhile, the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza has also been increased.

The skateboard could be potential shoppers.
Before the skateboard users, the litter and vandalism could be already more.
-It is the lack of attraction of the stores that make the decrease of shoppers.
-The litter and vandalism is already increased because of the bad cleaning work.
-It is the bad environmental make the decrease of shoppers and the increase of skateboard users.

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作者: 卿本悠悠    时间: 2017-8-26 14:28:16



10、The following recommendation was made by the president and administrative staff of Grove College, a private institution, to the college's governing committee.（149）

We recommend that Grove College preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education rather than admit men into its programs. It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove. But 80 percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation. Keeping the college all female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


Claim: faculty members are in favor of coeducation.
Data: It is true that a majority of faculty members voted in favor of coeducation, arguing that it would encourage more students to apply to Grove.
Warrant: they think it will encourage more students to apply
Question:
Is there any other way to encourage more students to apply instead of breaking the tradition?
Recruiting more teachers. /improving educational facilities. /setting up some scholarships.

Claim: most students and over half of the alumnae are opposed coeducation.
Data: But 80 percent of the students responding to a survey conducted by the student government wanted the school to remain all female, and over half of the alumnae who answered a separate survey also opposed coeducation.
Warrant: their answers to two separate survey represent the result.
Question:
Have all of the students and alumnae participated these survey?

Claim: keeping the college all female is better
Data: Keeping the college all female will improve morale among students and convince alumnae to keep supporting the college financially.
Warrant: it can improve students’ morale and ensure alumnae keeping supporting the college
Question:
Will the joining of male students really weaken moral among students and make alumnae less supporting the college?

Introductory paragraph
According to recommendation of the president and administrative staff of Grove College, Grove College should preserve its century-old tradition of all-female education. On the basis of some votes involving the faculty members, students and alumnae, the president argues that doing so is better for the college. A number of questions have been made in the argument about the alternative encouraging way, the participators and the influence of admitting male students. These questions need to be scrutinized carefully to evaluate the recommendation.

Middle paragraphs (the first)
To start with, it should be questioned that whether there is any other alternative way to encourage more students to apply to Grove instead of breaking the all-female tradition. While coeducation can increasing the applicants to Grove, it does not follow that there isn't other alternative or even better way to reach the same goal. Recruiting more teachers and improving educational facilities are two efficient and widely used ways for schools to resulting in more students applying. What's more, even if needing a simpler one, the Grove College can set up some scholarships, which can also lead to the similar result. If admitting men into the Grove is not the only or most effective way to increasing students’ application, the college can select other ways instead of breaking its old all-female tradition.

改错
1.错误代码：WC
原句：Although there are some debacles in the justness of some laws, it is appropriate for individuals to obey just laws and to disobey and resist unjust laws.
修改：justness应改为justice
浅谈体会和想法：同一个形容词对应的名词意义不同。

2.错误代码：RP
原句：In some certain cases, disobeying or resisting unjust laws can make sense for its consequences.
修改：In some certain cases, disobeying or resisting unjust laws can lead to a meaningful consequence.
浅谈体会和想法：有时候自己能理解的别人不一定能理解，还是尽量没有歧义比较好。

3.错误代码：SS和POS
原句：Information exploding, there are more and more different among distinct professions, anyone who wants to make new discovery in typical filed must spend much time in learning what have been done and what to be done.
修改：With information exploding, there are more and more difference among distinct professions, so anyone who wants to make new discovery in a field must spend much time in learning what have done and what to be done.
浅谈体会和想法：只能说大体梳理了一下，感觉还不完全，因为我也没有完全理解这个句子。

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作者: xiulin2015    时间: 2017-8-26 16:09:31

Arg 16 Gov funding for riverside facilities

In surveys Mason City residents rank water sports (swimming, boating, and fishing) among their favourite recreational activities. The Mason River flowing through the city is rarely used for these pursuits, however, and the city park department devotes little of its budget to maintaining riverside recreational facilities. For years there have been complaints from residents about the quality of the river's water and the river's smell. In response, the state has recently announced plans to clean up Mason River. Use of the river for water sports is, therefore, sure to increase. The city government should for that reason devote more money in this year's budget to riverside recreational facilities.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
Whether Mason River is suitable for recreational activities.

The argument is to indicate the Mason City’s government should input more money in budget to improve riverside recreational facilities because residents put water sports as their favorable recreational activity. The assumptions on more use of Mason river after being cleaned up and unstated assumptions on whether residents love doing water sports need to be examined.

The survey to rank favorite recreational activities may not sufficiently to prove the residents loving doing water sports more than others. The unstated assumption about how frequently residents would use the riverside recreational utilities need to be examined. If the survey investigates activities people can’t do in Mason city but only water sports, it doesn’t mean the residents would use the facilities for water sports that often either. The survey is supposed to investigate how often residents do water sports and how frequently they use the facilities, based on which city government can decide to devote more money to better the related facilities.

In addition, the historical reason why Mason river is rarely used for the discussed purpose is unstated and worth being studied. What if the river is not safe for water sports, such as the flowing speed, the geographical features? Then it is not possible to use it more for aquatic entertainment even after being cleaned up and facilities adaption.

What’s more is that the cleaning up of Mason river does not mean the river for water sports will be definitely increased. It is very necessary to change the current water quality and the smelly river so that living in the area is a pleasant experience. It should be the first priority but after than the government probably can’t secure more money in setting up more facilities for water sports as it is a complicated process lasting for decades. If money distributed to other purposes such as facilities, it might deteriorate the holistic environment planning in the long run.  

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作者: mzlgjg    时间: 2017-8-26 16:11:27



74.The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: Grove College should admit men.
Data: Other all-female colleges experienced increase in education after adopting coeducation.
Warrant: Coeducation would also ensure increase of application in Grove as well.
Question: Is Grove’s case identical of other all-female colleges? Did other college adopt other policies besides coeducation that resulted in increase in application?

Claim: All-female is essential to the identity of Grove College.
Data: Annual survey of incoming students show that the school’s all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove.
Warrant: The survey represented the majority of the Grove’s students opinion.
Question: Is the sample of the survey objective and large enough to represent the majority of Grove’s incoming students? Should the teachers and current students’ opinion be taken into consideration?

Claim: Grove should keep all female.
Data: Survey of Grove alumnae show that a majority of them strongly favored keeping the college all female.
Warrant: Alumnae’ s view about keeping Grove all female is of vital importance.
Question: Did people who were surveyed all reply? Is it possible that only who advocated all female policy replied?

Introduction: The president of Grove College and alumnae director’s opinion about whether Grove should adopt coeducation is contradicted. Both of them gave several plausible evidence like examples of other colleges and survey in support of their status. However, several questions concerning how comparable Grove is to other all-female colleges and alumnae and students’ attitudes toward all-female policy needs to be asked in fully evaluating this argument. Only when these questions are clearly settled can we clarify whether recommendation is plausible.

TS1: The president of Grove College advocates that coeducation should be adopted because successful examples of other all-female colleges’ transformation into coeducation already exists. However, is Grove’s case identical of other all-female colleges? If Grove has some specialty that students value greatly has to do with all-female, then other colleges’ case can’t simply be applied in Grove. And did other all-female colleges adopt other policies besides coeducation that resulted in increase in application? The unison effect of several policies together--increase in application and enrollment will be very different from just adopting coeducation alone, so in this case coeducation in Grove may not result in the same consequence as other colleges. So determining whether Grove is comparable to other colleges and whether other colleges have adopted policies besides coeducation is of vital importance in validating the president’s recommendation.

对第三个C-D-W感到有一些困惑，不知道应该站在什么角度去讨论校友对这个政策变化的看法...

段落修改MI,SS,WC,RP
As an old saying goes, look before you leap. It is universally acknowledged that we should carefully consider (MI) before taking a risk. However, when an emergency occurs, chances are that only making the decision quickly (SS) can the problem be solved, which means there is not enough time to considerate (WC) in a   comprehensive way. Thus, under such circumstance, idea needs offering (RP) without hesitation. Thus, whether people should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences before risking depends on the circumstances.

修改后的：As an old saying goes, look before you leap. It is universally acknowledged that we should carefully consider the following consequences before taking a risk. However, when an emergency occurs, chances are that only by making the decision quickly can we solve the problem, which means there is no enough time to consider the result in a comprehensive way. Therefore, under such circumstance, ideas have to be formed in our mind without hesitation. So whether people should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences before risking depends on the circumstances.

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作者: wanghaitao19939    时间: 2017-8-26 16:59:30



Argument 34/58/94
94)The vice president of human resources at Climpson Industries sent the following recommendation to the company's president.

A recent national survey found that the majority of workers with access to the Internet at work had used company computers for personal or recreational activities, such as banking or playing games. In an effort to improve our employees' productivity, we should implement electronic monitoring of employees' Internet use from their workstations. Using electronic monitoring software is the best way to reduce the number of hours Climpson employees spend on personal or recreational activities. We predict that installing software to monitor employees' Internet use will allow us to prevent employees from wasting time, thereby increasing productivity and improving overall profits.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
开头段：
In this recommendation, the vice president proposes the usage of electronic monitoring software at Climpson Industries. He /she further predicts that such software would help preclude the employees from wasting time and thereby increase their productivity, in turn contributing to an overall increase in profits. While I agree with the vice president’s intention to enhance the staff’s working efficiency, I highly doubt that this recommendation is reasonable. To better access the vice president’s proposal, I need answers to several questions about the necessity and effectiveness of this policy.
中间段：
To start with, although there are many employees at Climpson Industries are distracted by non-working activities, I need to know whether the monitoring software is efficient or not to prevent people from wasting time. On the other hand, even if the software is implemented, would the employees be concentrated on their work, or would they try various means to avoid detection? I think they would choose the latter. If the employees find a way to elude the monitoring software, the effort to prevent them from wasting time on personal activities will have been in vain. On the other hand, even if the software impedes employees from being distracted by online activities, will they feel unfairly restricted and choose snoozing or chatting instead? We cannot know the answer. Employees who are by nature sluggish will always be reluctant to work without any distraction and any policy against their sloth will likely be futile.
按照老师的意见修改：
Arg 1 Palean Basket unique

Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been made only by the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could have crossed it only by boat, and no Palean boats have been found. Thus it follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not uniquely Palean.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

To begin with, the statement indicates that archaeologists discovered such a 'Palean' basket in Lithos, a village across also the Brim River from Palea SS would lead to two different origins of particular distinctive pattern on woven baskets. Neglecting land modification (MI) , it assumes that the land form near Palea has not changed after the emerging of particular distinctive pattern on woven baskets. While it is possible that a earthquake produced a broad river cut Palea into two villages, SS/RP so the same pattern on woven baskets can be found in Lithos across the Brim River. If the land modification be proved WC by further archaeology evidence, the statement WC will be weakened.
回看这一段不知道自己写的是啥，感觉翻译软件写的，表达不清楚意思。想起来是谁说得来着，英语是一门发展了很多年的语言，各种表达方式已经很固定了，其实没什么好纠结的，继续练习用简单的句子说清楚要说的事。
To begin with, evidence revealing Brim River’s geologic past is needed to evaluation of the author’s assertion that Brim River has always been deep and broad and could only have been crossed by boat. Thus, this assertio ndoes not receive any support and could possibly be wrong, since Earth’s geologic features could have changed over thousands of years. A long and continuous record of river sediments may help us determine the Brim River’s history. If it shows the Brim River was indeed broad and inaccessible when civilizations of Palea and Lithos developed and thrived, the author’s assertion will be undoubtedly strengthened. If, however, it turns out that the Brim River was a shallow creek or even did not come to existence at all when humans first settled in this region, then we must reject the assertion that Palean baskets could only have reached Lithos by boat.

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作者: 丽丽酱香饼    时间: 2017-8-26 19:08:30



Arg 5/159/173 restrict moped rentals to reduce accidents
173) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

The population on Balmer Island doubles during the summer months. During the summer, then, the town council of Balmer Island should decrease the maximum number of moped rentals allowed at each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day. This will significantly reduce the number of summertime accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians. The neighboring island of Torseau actually saw a 50 percent reduction in moped accidents last year when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals. To help reduce moped accidents, therefore, we should also enforce these limitations during the summer months.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

CLAIM: During the summer, then, the town council of Balmer Island should decrease the maximum number of moped rentals allowed at each of the island's six moped and bicycle rental companies from 50 per day to 30 per day.
DATA: The population on Balmer Island doubles during the summer months.
WARRANT: This will significantly reduce the number of summertime accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians.
A1：reducing the number of mopeds in summer could reduce the number of summertime accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians on Balmer Island
A2:  decreasing the maximum number of moped rentals could decrease the number of mopeds

CLAIM: To help reduce moped accidents, therefore, we should also enforce these limitations during the summer months.
DATA: The neighboring island of Torseau actually saw a 50 percent reduction in moped accidents last year when Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.
WARRANT: moped accidents reduced in Torseau because of Torseau's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals, so will Balmer Island if the limits were enforced
A3: Balmer Island and Torseau are similar in different aspects and the limits enforced in Torseau apply to Balmer Island

INTRO
A letter of the Balmer Island Gazette suggests Balmer Island enforce moped limitations during the summer months to reduce moped accidents because the Torseau island achieved 50 percent reduction in moped accidents last year when such limits implemented. It seems reasonable, but this argument based on assumptions of which valid need to be examined critically.

A3
Even if Torseau’s 50 percent of moped reduction in last year is due to moped rentals limitation, another assumption that the limits enforced on Torseau could apply to Balmer Island is not confirmed. Firstly, if careless moped drivers in Torseau is the main reason for moped accident, but other factors like traffic disorder and pedestrian’s imprudent account more on Balmer Island, the assumption is invalid, and restraining the number of moped on Balmer would not as effective as Torseau. In addition, the limitation policy of Torseau was executed one year ago, whether the same strategy is suitable to Torseau or not need to be examined, let alone applying it to Balmer. Only after the questions figured out, could the assumption be proved, and could the argument be strengthen.

困惑和求助：
assumption类的ARG有点难写，，，
instruction里面response ,assumption, argument的关系不知道要怎么说明，有点混乱
不知道老师有没有辅助的思路或者用于assumption的例句~

WC
原句: If people surrender to the lust of sex and forget security measures, the possibility of pregnancy and Sex Transmitted Diseases, including incurable AIDS, would roar .
修改: If people surrender to the lust of sex and forget security measures, the possibility of pregnancy and Sex Transmitted Diseases, including incurable AIDS, would increase drastically.
体会：这种错误不被指出很难发现，版友批改也不一定正确。目前的应对方法就是拿不准的搭配多看例句。

RP
原句: When the risk is well known and fairly easy to manage or the risk can be assessed quantitatively, careful consideration can greatly manage the risk.
修改: When the risk is well known and fairly easy to manage or the risk can be assessed quantitatively, careful consideration can help the people greatly manage the risk.  
体会：句子长的时候，结构就会有点乱，多多检查多多联系吧~

点评12楼sweepyou
INTRO:
Because of 后面加很多原因短语，总觉得不大合适；可以参考ARG17的范文开头：The manager argues that WWAC should switch to news and talk to boost the size of the audience. He refers to the fact that population has grown due to more retired people moving in, the decline in sales of recorded music and the increasing popularity of news and talk in the area. We need to collect more evidence about these issues in order to evaluate his argument.
P1：
太长了，一共提到三点，感觉都是蜻蜓点水，没有充分的elaboration
第二点和第三点，我是有点困惑啦，感觉跟claim关系不大
建议少用问句，多呼应此题的instruction：evidence

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作者: ning97    时间: 2017-8-26 20:23:47

Arg 5restrict moped rentals to reduce accidents

5) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim： To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season.
Warranty：
Question：Does the number of mopeds rented by the rental companies surpass 25?( the validication of the limits)
Question: Are there any other ways people to get the mopeds, for example they would buy a new one?

Claim：By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.
Warranty：Island S could do this, so island B could do this, too.
Question：Is there any other differences between Island Seaville and Balmer, such as the traffic tickets?
              Does the Seaville's moped number equal to that in Balmer, mostly depended in the moped rental companies?

Claim：When Seaville's town coucil enforced similar limits on moped rentals, they attained 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents.
Question：Does's Seaville's town coucil take any other limits about moped rentals, maybe mend their roads?

Intro:
The argument based on Seaville's town coucil  similar limits on moped rentals attained 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents, proposed limiting the number of moped rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day, to acchieve the 50 percent of reduction in moped accidents. However, according to the existing evidence, there are many querstions to be answered to speculate whether the goal could be reached. These questions could be divided into three aspects, the validity of the limits, the correlation between the limits and the results in Island S and the affinity between two city to check if island B could acchive the same goals.
中间段：
To begin with, the validity of the limits will be effected by many factors. The coucil try to reduce the number of accidents by cutting the numbered of moped rented by the island's moped rental companies, and then it comes the question: Does the rental moped have an overall majority in the moped constitution, or more specially in the moped accidents? This answer will need exact ratios about the accidents to vindicate the effectiveness of the idea. And also, does the number of mopeds rented by the rental companies surpass 25? This question will examine the effectiveness about the exact number in the limits, will it be too low to gavanlize people to buy their own mopeds or two little to cause nothing? That will depends on the average and range of the number of the rented moped per day now.

修改：
61.People should undertake risky action only after they have carefully considered its consequences.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.
1、WC 原句
After all analysis above, I persist WC that we should take carefully thinking RP as long as we have the time or we can get a roughly answer. In some other conditions, do as the first intuition.
用词不当：
persist VERB （不喜欢的事物）继续存在 If something undesirable persists, it continues to exist.
VERB 顽强坚持；执著 If you persist in doing something, you continue to do it, even though it is difficult or other people are against it.
坚持反复做同一件事，坚韧不拔的意思。
重新选词 insist 同时还有RP，所以重写上句话如下：
In conclusion,  before we undertake risky actions, whether carefully consideration is necessary or not, depends on the  specific conditions, namely whether we have time to think twice and whether we are able to assess the potential risk which are two important factors affecting our decision.
2. WC 原句
As we all know, living as a human being means that we must accept every consequence caused by our actions. Inevitably, we sometimes take a lot of consideration WC before we undertake the actions. But should we consider carefully before the ultimate decision every time? I think it depends on different conditions.
修改： Inevitably, we sometimes think over and over again before we undertake the actions.

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作者: ChiuChiKwan    时间: 2017-8-26 20:59:59

74.The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
Claim: Grove College should admit men.
Data: Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.
Question: Passage failed to answer whether coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.
in Grove school.

Claim: Grove College shouldn't admit men.
Data:  the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove.
Question: The answer the number of these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove failed to be offered.

Claim: Grove College shouldn't admit men.
Data: The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
Question: The way the survey conducted and the range of interviers failed to give.

Intro
   The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men while the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. The president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment while the reason why the director opposes is that the result from several surveys show that some students support all-female education.  Since several questions failed to be answered,whether Grove College should change its education mode need more discussing.


TS 3
  Another reason of why the resident suppoerts that Grove College shouldn't admit men is a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored  keeping the college all female. However, the question that how the survey conducted  need answering. Firstly, what if the questionaire or survey just ask whether Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents favored  keeping the college all female? And chances are that those respondents favor keeping the all-female education and they also support coeducation. Secondly,if there is no flaw in the way that the survey conducted, the number and the range of people who were ineterviewed is failed to answer. If respondents who supports all-female education have been selected more to be interviewed, not to mention the number of interviewers. Whether this data or result is convincing and representative is failed to answer. Thus, from what have been discussed, the survey couldn't prove that Grove College shouldn't admit men.
修改段落：MI,POS,WC
修改前：
The president of Grove College advocates that coeducation should be adopted because successful examples of other all-female colleges’ transformation into coeducation already exists. However, is Grove’s case identical of other all-female colleges? If Grove has some specialty that students('s) value greatly has to do with all-female, then other colleges’ case can’t simply be applied in Grove. And did other all-female colleges adopt other policies besides coeducation that resulted in increase in application? The unison effect of several policies together--increase in application and enrollment will be very different from just adopting coeducation alone, so in this case coeducation in Grove may not result in the same consequence as other colleges. So determining whether Grove is comparable to other colleges and whether other colleges have adopted policies besides coeducation is of vital importance in validating the president’s recommendation.
修改后：
The president of Grove College advocates that coeducation should be adopted because successful examples of other all-female colleges’ transformation into coeducation already exists. However, is Grove’s case identical of other all-female colleges? If students' value in Grove is special,which differs from other colleges', then other colleges'success couldn't be copied by Grove. And did other all-female colleges adopt other policies besides coeducation that resulted in increase in application? The unison effect of several policies together--increase in application and enrollment will be very different from just adopting coeducation alone, so in this case coeducation in Grove may not gain the same success as other colleges. So determining whether Grove is comparable to other colleges and whether other colleges have adopted policies besides coeducation are of vital importance in validating the president’s recommendation.

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作者: 很_简单    时间: 2017-8-27 00:58:29

In this letter, the author attributes the decreasing of the number of shoppers in Central Plaza to the increasing of the popularity of skateboarding. And then, he recommends the city to prohibit the skateboarding in Central Plaza in order to restore the business. Quite  convincing the author's recommendation may seem at first glance, we still need to ask some questions in order to better evaluate the author's lines of reasoning in the argument. And the answers to these questions could help us decide whether adapt the author's recommendation.

Firstly, according to the author, he argues that the increase in the amount of litter and vandalism result from the increased number of the skateboard users. But we need to ask whether there is a casual relationship between the increased number of skateboard users and the increasd rubbish throughout the plaza. In the argument, the author's does not propose any information of the question. If the answer reveals that skateboard users did not drop any litters or break any public facilities, then we should reconsider the author's recommendation's validity. On the contrary, we may draw the conclusion that some skateboard users do infulent the plaza's business.

1.WC sophisticated mathematical models or computer stimulating softwares are anticipated (WC- word choice) to analysis risks well in an scientific ways,thus helping people to make properly decisions as well as taking right steps when dealing with risky stuffs.

改：anticipated 改为 efficient

2.RP Nevertheless,I suppose that technology has isolated and distracted us,essentially transforming us into individuals focusing on scale of phone screens (RP- rephrase)  and thus paying less attention to interaction in reality world.

改：Nevertheless,I suppose that technology has isolated and distracted us, especially turning our focus on small-scale phone screens (RP- rephrase)  and thus paying less attention to interaction in reality world.

3.WC+WF For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic technics WC to keep learning and create new knowledges WF in the future, but in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future. improve the thesis statement by clarifying your position

改：For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic methods to keep learning and create new knowledge WF in the future. But in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future.

感受，大多数有问题的句子都是长句子，可能大家驾驭长句子的能力还是不够。我这次选取的是自己力所能及能改的句子，语法上的问题可以通过索搜解决，但是语言上的问题比如WC word choice 还是需要有一定功底的人才能改的好。还有，本来想改一个SS的，但是一搜索发现根本找不到。。。太多单词本身就有ss

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作者: sweepyou    时间: 2017-8-27 01:44:36

Arg 12 terminate student evaluation of professors -o

Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by 30 percent. Potential employers, looking at this dramatic rise in grades, believe that grades at Omega are inflated and do not accurately reflect student achievement; as a result, Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should terminate student evaluation of professors.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Conclusion:
Omega University should stop student evaluation of professors in order that graduates can find better jobs.

Points:
1. Students' grade averages at Omega have risen by 30% after implementation of the evaluation system.
2. Potential employers believe that grades at Omega are inflated and don't reflect students' true academic performance.
3. Omega graduates are not as successful in seeking jobs as graduates from nearby Alpha University.

Outline:
1. We need more information to judge whether the scores were inflated. Whether there were other factors which caused the risen scores (improved teaching techniques or change of sources of students); the attitude of professors and students towards the evaluation system.
2. We need evidence to examine whether employers' viewpoints are correct. We also need to know are there other factors which could affect employers' attitude towards potential employees.
3. We need to know more information about students' academic performance at Alpha University, as well as information about the local job market.

In this argument, the author suggests that Omega University should stop the evaluation system of professors, because of the increase of students' grades, the possible attitudes from potential employers, and the fact that students from Alpha University are more successful in finding jobs. However, to better evaluate this argument, we still need more evidence about how this evaluation system works, more information about students at Omega University and their attitudes towards the system, potential employers' consideration towards their candidates, and more academic information about students from both universities.

To begin with, the author mentions that the student's grades may be inflated due to the evaluation system. However, we need to know how this system works. When do the students rate their professors? It is possible that students are required to score after each lecture. If that's the case, the professors are not likely to gain the students' favor by giving them higher scores. We still need to know how the students think about their grades and the evaluation system. For some majors, such as creative writing or artistic design, students usually pay more attention to their project or portfolio than their scores. In that case, students may want to improve professors' teaching techniques through this system, but not mere higher grades. Therefore, they may rate their professors according to their real performances, not the grades they give. Besides, we need to know more information about the students with risen grades. Are those students mentioned from the same class? It is possible that students with higher scores are from another grade, who are more intelligent than their schoolmates. It is also possible that students have committed more time and energy to their schoolwork. Without the information mentioned above, it is not safe to infer that the grades are inflated.

Secondly, the author argues that potential employers may make a negative judgment towards Omega University's student. As mentioned above, without adequate information, we cannot say that the grades are inflated, and thus the employers' judgment may not be correct. Even though their judgment is correct, we still need more information about the job market their company belongs to. When choosing future employees, do the employers have other considerations other than their scores? If they pay attention to other factors, for instance, students' internship or project experience, more than their scores, the students from Omega University may still get good job offers, and thus the argument the author brings about will certainly be weakened.

Thirdly, the author stated that students from Alpha University are more successful in finding jobs. However, we still need to learn more about students from both universities. It is possible that Alpha University has higher prestige than Omega University, and it has many more eminent professors and smarter students than the latter. Therefore, it is also possible that Alpha University students' success is because of their capability, not of their potential employers' viewpoints. We also need to know the major of mentioned students, and the local job market. If it turns out that Alpha University students' majors are more popular than that of Omega University student, and are in great need in the job market, then the phenomenon has nothing to do with the employers' opinion or Omega's evaluation system. If we are in lack of such evidence, we cannot well judge the author's argument.

WC
we still need more information about the job market their company belongs to.
修改：We still need more information about the local company's preference.
感觉原句是有点中式英语了，想表达的是当地就业市场的偏好，但写出来又觉得不对。还有有时定冠词the加不加也很纠结，希望老师指点。

WC
Do the employers have other considerations other than their scores?
If they pay attention to other factors...
修改：
Do employers have other considerations other than their scores?
If they pay attention to some other factors...
冠词好像有点不太合适

SS
If they pay attention to other factors, for instance, students' internship or project experience, more than their scores,
修改：
If they had paid more attention to some other factors, such as students' internship experience,...
这里感觉用虚拟语气好一点？而且more的位置在原句也不对

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作者: Margueritexy    时间: 2017-8-27 02:02:34

166) The following memo appeared in the newsletter of the West Meria Public Health Council.

An innovative treatment has come to our attention that promises to significantly reduce absenteeism in our schools and workplaces. A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. This shows that eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds. Furthermore, since colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work, attendance levels will improve. Therefore, we recommend the daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: Eating a substantial amount of fish can clearly prevent colds.
Data: A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds.
Warrant: People eating much fish visit the doctor only once or twice per year for colds, so eating much fish can prevent colds.
Assumption: There are some other factors prevent people from colds such as doing exercise.

Claim: Attendance levels will improve.
Data: Colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work.
Warrant: Eating much fish can prevent colds, then the number of people absent from school because of colds reduce, which solves the most frequently reason given for absences thus attendance levels will improve.
Assumption: Maybe other situations resulting in absence from school improve so the level will not improve but keep steady, even go down.

Claim: The daily use of a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.
Data: A study reports that in nearby East Meria, where fish consumption is very high, people visit the doctor only once or twice per year for the treatment of colds. Colds are the reason most frequently given for absences from school and work.
Warrant: Eating enough fish can prevent colds, and then improve attendance levels, using a nutritional supplement derived from fish oil as a good way to prevent colds and lower absenteeism.
Assumption: It鈥檚 possible that the part from fish makes an effect on prevent colds is not fish oil.

寮

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作者: HelloC424    时间: 2017-8-27 11:08:29

From the memo of the WWAC radio station's manager, to the aim of reversing the decline of listener numbers, the WWAC's owners first wanted to change the style of their music and then decided to change the original music program to new and talk format for the reason that in the area of their radio program can cover, showed a increase of retired old people and they might do not like the original rock-music style. Moreover, the decrease of recorded music's sales may reveal that they do not like music format. From my perspective, we need more detail information in order to evaluate this argument.


First, we need more information to decide whether changing music style for retired people can attractive new listeners. We need more information about the interests of these people. Because they might get more interest in reading newspapers, watching TV or even browse their phone and surfing the internet rather than listening to the radio station. Moreover, we might should do a survey about the reason why this radio station's listeners are declining. For example, if the decrease was due to that a popular DJ or host has let the radio station, we may still need to focus on the younger listeners and try to fit their appetites.



The argument WC  holds an opinion that these ideas, these breakthroughs came from our common things. I partially agree with these idea and I want to make a more specific devision about what are_SS_these ideas belong to: for wonderful ideas in the scientific fields such as Physics or Chemistry, I agree than the most resources these ideas came from are in our common lives and things, but for the art fields, from my perspective, I prefer that RP the ideas or the developments mostly may came from the accumulations and the uncommon life experience of  the man of letters themselves.

This issue holds an opinion that these breakthroughs came from common things in our lives. From my perspective, for wonderful ideas in the scientific fields such as Physics or Chemistry, I agree than the most resources these ideas came from are in our common lives and things, but for the art fields, I consider that the ideas and the developments mostly came from the accumulations and the uncommon life experience of  the artists themselves.

  我的错误多数在wc,pr,ss 上，上面这个段落集中了三个错误。有一些是题目要求没写在文章中，有的是想要用复杂句式却弄巧成拙。

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作者: 前意识的斑点    时间: 2017-8-27 15:21:53

In this argument, the manager of WWAC radio station concludes that they need to change to a news and talk style to increase the number of listeners. However, the examples related to population growth and decline in local sales were not detailed and holistic enough to prove the arguments. Thus, more evidences are needed to strengthen the argument.

To begin with, even though the number of residents in the area increased, the listener numbers decreased. The author boldly assumes that old people are the majority of the station's potential listeners. It is likely that the youth in the area were into rock-music format. They stopped listening to the station mainly because the final weeks were approaching. Once they finished their finals, they would go back and listen to the radio again. Thus, perhaps the radio should think about attract more young people, rather than draw more attention from the old. An survey that could showcase that young people are the main listeners of the station could weaken the advice, which assumes old people are the potential listeners.

Even if the old are the major listeners, it is likely that they like music format. The manager assumes that local sales of recorded music could demonstrate that people were not increased in music. However, the local sales dropped might because of other factors, such as online shopping, online music apps and so forth. As the development of internet, there were increasingly number of people start shopping online. Thus, local sales could not really demonstrate the folks’ proclivity to music. Perhaps, they are into music. They are just not into the old-fashioned way anymore. If the author could draw out an evidence that could show that the old people who live in the area, are not into music at all, the argument might be strengthened.

Furthermore, the preference of the old is unknown. The author suggests that elderly people are into a news and talk format. Perhaps, old people, for instance, are more into classical music and sports related show. Thus, a news and talk format might not draw their attention. A survey, which could cover different genders and different age groups, might help the author understands deeper about individuals' preferences. Even though the individuals are into the news and talk show, they might not listen to it because they do not know about this radio station. It is likely that the old only watch tv and listen to other channels. In fact, the radio station might draw more popularity if they advertise about the station more.

In conclusion, the author claims that after switching the radio station to a news and talk show format, the station would gain more elderly listeners. However, it is possible that the elderly is not into news and talk show, instead they enjoy other kinds of show. Or perhaps, more young people are into this radio station. Thus, more evidence about the local's preference are needed to be provided to help strengthen the argument.

批改:
Even if Parson City and Blue city have the same level of infrastructure and students, the level of residents’ participation is unknown. It is possible that the policy of those cities does not allow residents to speak up their opinions. Or perhaps, most people in the cities are too lazy to vote for certain policy. Thus, the decision, which are made by the city, might not present opinions of most residents holistically. If the author could demonstrate that people in Parson and Blue City actively vote and propose policies, which are accepted by the government, it could strengthen the claims about the residents of two cities.
感觉有主谓不一致

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作者: GoldenString    时间: 2017-8-27 16:51:04

Arg 5restrict moped rentals to reduce accidents

5) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段：
According to the letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette, the author argues that the moped rental companies should reduce the rentals from 50 per day to 25 per day to decrease the number of accidents involving mopeds during the summer months on Balmer Island. Because reduction of moped accidents was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville where was enforced the similar policy ,  the author believes more that his recommendation is of great necessity to cut down the accidents.  To evaluate this recommendation,  we need more information about the real cause of the accidents ,  the source of the mopeds and the difference between the Balmer Island and the Seaville Island  . We ough to ask more questions and analyse what we learned.

中间段：
Inorder to evaluate the recommendation, the first question I want to ask is what's the real cause of these accidents on Balmer Island during summer months.  For example, If most accidents are caused by drunk driving and carelessness of a number of moped riders who tend to drink the cold beer because of the hot weather in summer months,  it will make no sense to enforce the limite on moped rentals. Instead of the recommendation,  what the town council of Balmer Island should do is to punish the drunk drivers seriously and regulate the drivers' behaviors strictly. Of course,  If the accidents are attributed to the large number of mopeds which is the main reason of traffic congestion,  there is no doubt of the validity of this recommendation.

语言表达问题修改：
WC：  Word choice/ diction
            The word is not  appropriate here; please try a different word
  这里主要涉及选词不恰当的问题

原句1：the improvement of efficiency contributed by technologyment advancement signifies <WC >that they will have more leisure time when they can earn no money to pay their loans.

修改：把signifies 改为means

体会：signify指用文字、说话或表情等表示单纯的意思； /mean最普通用词，指文字或符号等所表示的各种明确的或含蓄的意义。
像这种动词需要更加细分的话，就需要阅读积累了~
  

原句2，  The sample size is not large enough and there is a lot of occasionality <WC> .

修改：把occasionality改为occasionalities

体会：occasionality, N. 可数名词，偶然性。有时候心里真不敢相信它竟然是可数名词！一个苹果？一本书？一个偶然性？





介绍一下自己的备考情况哈（前几次因为写完作文大纲，中间段啥的急匆匆就结束了，忘了写自己备考情况(???ω???)了~）：英语四六级都过了，但是六级分数不高；本次gre是第一次考试，所以没有什么过往经验啥的~；目标分数是330，作文4分；主要困难是作文一直是WC选词不当的问题，不过这个需要积累吧?( 'ω' )? ，还有就是入题慢，因为我总是想要把题目给重述一下，然后在开始阐述自己的观点，可能开头总结要再精练一些，抓住重点吧~其实我是担心字数不够，所以重述的时候可能有点啰嗦）
这段时间学习体会：无论是issue还是Argument, 都要PIE模型。中间三段开头都要有一个中心句，结尾时还要回应一下文章主题，点一下关键词。/逗号，句号后面都要有空格/老师批改后的文章发现自己毛病挺多的，主要是WC和RP，RP的问题以后自己要明确自己要表述的意思，再精确简练用英语表达出来/作文要多刷题，然后就可以感觉出写作文的套路了，再多多积累一些例子干货，注意语言表达问题和句号及大小写等细节问题。

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作者: beener322    时间: 2017-8-27 17:49:37

提示: 作者被禁止或删除 内容自动屏蔽

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作者: 长长的冬瓜糖    时间: 2017-8-27 19:36:48



我选的75
Argument 75


The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a Batavia newspaper.

"The department of agriculture in Batavia reports that the number of dairy farms throughout the country is now 25 percent greater than it was 10 years ago. During this same time period, however, the price of milk at the local Excello Food Market has increased from $1.50 to over $3.00 per gallon. To prevent farmers from continuing to receive excessive profits on an apparently increased supply of milk, the Batavia government should begin to regulate retail milk prices. Such regulation is necessary to ensure fair prices for consumers."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Firstly, the editor should answer the questions whether the number of dairy farms has increased largely actually. As the "25% greater" cannot actually reflect that the number of farms have largely increasing. For example, it is possible that 10 years ago, there were only 4 dairy farms throughout the country. And during these years, only one additional dairy farm appears. This is no indication that nowadays there are many dairy farms. Therefore, without pointing out the actual numbers of local dairy farms nowadays, the editor can hardly lead to the conclusion that the farmers are receiving excessive profits from larger production.

The second question that should be answered by the editor is that whether the average price of milk in the area have been increasing. Obviously, the editor believes that the price of milk at the Excello Food Market typifies that price nationwide. Yet this is not the case, for the following reasons. Perhaps the prices of milk in some areas remain unchanged. Also, it is likely that the price can even decrease in other areas just because people in these areas prefer to oatmeal instead of milk. Any of these scenarios, if true, would weaken the editors' claim that the price of milk in the nation has increased.

Finally, another question is whether the regulation will be sufficient to ensure fair prices for consumers. However, since the author has not provided a response to it, the goal might not be achieved even with this price regulation because other possible factors can still lead to the failure of the it. For example, with the retail prices lower than before, some milk farmers might add water into the milk in order to gain profit in compensate for the lower retail prices. In this way, the customers can hardly purchase qualified milk, not to mention get a fair price. Without ruling out this possibility, the editor can hardly convince me that this policy would be rational and effective.

In sum, in order to make the conclusion persuasive, the editor should answer whether the number of dairy farm has really increased, whether prices of milk all around the country have increased and whether the regulation of government will ensure fair prices of milk for customers.

王老师因为9月3号要考试了，想多看点您的范文就没进行改错练习了。
我写的第三个错误不知道写的对不对，请王老师指点指点~
PS：以这样方式写argument还有什么问题吗？

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作者: 天地1沙鸥    时间: 2017-8-27 19:59:04

Argument 3/171
Arg 3skateboarding in Central Plaza

3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


Claim: Decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza
Data: Number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically
Warrant: The decrease of the shopper result from no other reasons: such as the things sold, more other centers were established.

Claim: Increase of the litter and vandalism throughout the plaza comes from skateboarders
Data: There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza and the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically in Central Plaza.
Warrant: The amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza result from no other reasons: such as no sense of putting them in cans, lacking the rules.

Claim: Business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels if skateboarding is prohibited here
Data: We recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.
Warrant: The business is mainly influenced by mentioned factors: the number of skateboarder and amount of litter as well as vandalism

Intro:
The letter points out the increase in popularity of skateboarding and the decrease in number of shoppers in Central Plaza. Besides, it shows that the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza result from the popularity of skateboarding. Hence, the passage recommended that the skateboarding should be prohibited in order to resume the popularity and business activities in Central Plaza. However, a number of questions about why people do not shop as much in Central Plaza as before, the causes of litter and vandalism and the feasibility and consequences of prohibiting skateboarding need to be answered in order to evaluate.

The first question we need to investigate is what cause the decreasing shoppers in Central Plaza. The author pointed that the main reason is the increasing skateboarding as they happen at the same time. However more information should be provided to demonstrate the skateboarding would result the people in the Central Plaza less likely to shop again. Only by eliminating other factors such as the goods there are not attractive and the price is too high to afford, can we determine the recommendation in the passage is reasonable, therefore the prohibiting skateboarding would improve the sales in this condition.

Correct:
1.        WF
The first question we need to investigate is what cause the decreasing shoppers in Central Plaza.
The first question we need to investigate is what causes the decreasing shoppers in Central Plaza.
2.        SF
However more information should be provided to demonstrate the skateboarding would result the people in the Central Plaza less likely to shop again.
However, more information should be provided to demonstrate the skateboarding would decrease the possibility of people to shop there again.
3.        WC
Can we determine the recommendation in the passage is reasonable
Can we evaluate the recommendation in the passage is reasonable

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作者: wanghaitao19939    时间: 2017-8-27 20:22:35

Arg 132 mandatory driving course to address problems of accidents
132) The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.

All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.
开头段：
In the letter, the writer recommends an initiation of a high-school-sponsored driver’s education course program and predicts that will help solve the teenage driving problem in Centerville. While this program might be efficient to some extent, the reasoning ofthis argument is not convincing due to several unsubstantiated assumptions which, if proven unwarranted, will seriously challenge the author’s recommendation.
中间段：
First of all, the writer’s recommendation relies heavily on the assumption that the driving problem involving teenage drivers can be owed to teenage drivers’ faults. Based on such an assumption, the writer therefore proposes that formal instruction should be taken to make these teenage drivers into safe drivers. However, this assumption is potentially questionable because we are not informed with comprehensive analysis about the responsibility of teenage drivers in these accidents, so we don’t know whether the teenagers are to blame for these accidents. If it turns out that the accidents should be contributed to factors other than the local teenage drivers’ incompetence, then the writer’s argument for a proposed driver education program is unconvincing.
按老师的评语改：
In addition, overlooking water fluctuation (RP/ MI) , the argument assumes that the river has not changed in so many years. We need to take the possibility of fluctuation (RP) of the Brim River into account. It is possible that the Brim River was not as deep and broad as it is today when people could easily deliver the pattern on woven baskets to Lithos from Palea. To go across a shallow river, the ancient people didn’t (WC/ use hedging appropriately) need boat. If more geographic evidence be evacuated, this assumption may be questioned.

In addition, overlooking the fact that the water in Brim River may has undergone fluctuations in past thousands of years , the argument questionably assumes the baskets are originated in Lithos. However, his/her argument is untenable at the face of geologic evidence. If the geologic evidence shows that the Brim River was not as deep and broad as it is today at the time of the civilization in Plea developed, the assertion does not receive any support then. If it shows the Brim River was a shallow creek, people there could deliver the pattern on woven baskets from Palea to Lithos without boats easily. If more geographic evidence are provided, this assumption may be questioned.

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作者: TaylorW    时间: 2017-8-27 21:09:19



132) The following appeared in a letter to the school board in the town of Centerville.

All students should be required to take the driver's education course at Centerville High School. In the past two years, several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers. Since a number of parents in Centerville have complained that they are too busy to teach their teenagers to drive, some other instruction is necessary to ensure that these teenagers are safe drivers. Although there are two driving schools in Centerville, parents on a tight budget cannot afford to pay for driving instruction. Therefore an effective and mandatory program sponsored by the high school is the only solution to this serious problem.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

Claim : All students should be required to take the driver’s education course at Centerville high school.
Data: in past two years , several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers.
Assumption：a) those teenagers who are involved in the accidents are Centerville students
b) those accidents happened because of teenagers’ lacking driving skills

Claim: Teenagers have no one to learn driving from
Data: a number of parents in Centerville claimed that they have no time to teach their teenagers to drive and parents on tight budget cannot afford driving schools
Assumption: a) no other people but parents are the only ones that teenagers can learn driving from
b) parents who cannot afford driving school doesn’t mean they have no time teaching them.

Claim: high school is the only solution to this serious problem
Data:  all information above
Assumption: a) there are no other institutions are willing to help
b) all students can learn well in this course and improve their driving skills

TS：In the letter the author claim to launch a high school student driving course program in Centerville in order to solve teenager’s driving problem. While the reasoning of this argument is under some assumptions about students, the parents and the driving schools, if proven unwarranted, will seriously challenge the author’s recommendation.

Pt1: To start with, the author’s propose based on a evidence that several accidents in and around Centerville have involved teenage drivers .Because of that , the author claim all students should be required to take driver’s education courses to ensure their security and driving skills. However, this assumption could be insufficient because we didn’t know whether these teenagers are local .If they are tourist, forcing Centerville high school students taking course will do no benefit on that problem. In addition, our information about causer of those accidents are lacking. There is a possibility that teenagers are just victims in those accidents, if so, their driving skills will not be a problem anymore. If these questions are fully confirmed, the author’s assumption will be weaken.

Pt2: In addition, by stating that the parents have either money or time for their children to learn driving, the author claim some course in school is necessary.
However, for those parents who are so busy at working, there is no way that they can teach teenagers to drive, but it doesn’t mean they cannot afford driving school. And for parents who claim driving school is too overpaid for them, they might have time to teach the students by themselves. Even for parents who are busy and short of budgets, they can still ask for relatives for help, teenagers’ uncles or neighbors can do their job .

Pt3: Finally, based on the evidences given in the letter, the writer seem to rule out the conclusion that the high school is the only one to help those teenagers out of this problem. While that is unwarranted, other institutions like local community and volunteer center also have ability to offer solutions for that.   

我来点评其他网友

句子1：
WF WC
原：For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students basic technics WC to keep learning and create new knowledges WF in the future, but in the university, students should not only just accepted formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future.
改：For the students in primary school and high school, formal education can teach the students(them) basic technics(techniques/skills) WC to keep learning and create new knowledges(knowledge)  WF in the future, but(.But) in the university（universities）, students should not only just（去掉一个） accepted（accept） formal education as it can just teach students the knowledge from the past but not future.
改：For students in primary schools and high schools, formal education teaches them basic techniques to keep them learning and creating new knowledge in the future. While in universities, students should not accept just formal education, as it does no good in innovation.   
感想时态和单复数的错误要消除，不要一味追求长句子容易导致语意不明。

句子2：
WF SS
原：To evaluate the argument, we need more evidence which are WF mainly about the condition of ancient Brim river, the possibility of the boat preserves SS till now and other way to cross the river.
改：To evaluate the argument, we need more evidence about the condition of ancient Brim river, the possibility of the boat preserves SS till now( boat preservation） and other way(ways) to cross the river.
Evidence 不可数 当构成复杂语法容易出错的时候 定语从句省略掉不影响表达

句子3：
WF RP
原：To begin with, it is assume WF that people are being healthier RP than ten years ago, as their eating habits are more conformed RP to government recommendations nutritional one RP than they did ten years ago.
改：To begin with, the author assume that people are healthier than they are ten years ago, as their eating habits are more conforming to government nutritional recommendations.
时间状语不必反复提及容易造成混乱 有时候觉得要强调的话后面可以再用别的句子进行指出 这样也能显得句子丰富

总体感想：这样的语法互改让我意识到了一些自己存在的问题 印象深刻以后一定会避免而且因为批改 本着对原句负责的原则注重了细节问题。有时候我也会为了套用复杂句式而把语法说的面目全非意思不明 以后一定更加注意。

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作者: bio-L    时间: 2017-8-27 21:16:57



74) The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

A：
According to the president of Grove College, admitting male students could increase school’s applications and enrollment. On the other hand, the director of the alumnae association uses data of surveys of incoming students and respondents to refute that Grove College should reserve its all-female status. In order to evaluate the president’s recommendation, questions need to be answered regarding the conditions of Grove College and other college who begins to admitting men, the validity of the director and, the comprehensive thinking of respondents about the recommendation.

For one thing, the president use the examples that other all-female college have a increase in applications after abandon their admitting requirement. However, is the increase indeed caused by the reason that abandoning the admitting rule? If these colleges adapt more methods have not be illustrated which also have a significant influence on the application quantities? We just don’t know, nor do we know if the conditions between Grove College and other these colleges are so similar that this method could apply to Grove college and ensure a same increase. In fact, granted that  the increase of application indeed is contributed by the abandon, we still could say certainly that Grove also could have this increase after taking this method, due to some other reasons. For example, if Grove college have instinctive classes are mainly popular to girls? If these courses have a big percentage in all courses? So, if the president wanted to make the recommendation appear cogent and compelling, he need ask these questions specifically.

On the other hand ,we don't know the validity of ...

Moreover, if there is a possibility that  the respondents would change their mind?


WF Word form (sometimes  verb form)
/RP rephrase
There is no deny WF that the youth is an essential component of our society, but when we talk about understanding contemporary culture, choosing the most effective way depend  RP on what kinds of culture we are going to have knowledge about.
修改：
There is no denying that youth is an essential component of our society, so maybe it would be a must to study them. But, if we want to choose the most effective way, we should learn what kinds of culture we are going to study at first.
作者想说明一个关系，就是 如何选择最佳的方案取决于方案本身的性质。但是这个逻辑并不好表述，（其实我也不会），所以可以换种说法。还有，拆成短句可以降低难度。

POS 词性错误
TS3: besides, there is also some vital time we have to make immediate decision without a second hesitate POS.

修改：besides, there is also some vital time we have to make immediate decision without second's hesitation
作者想用一个小短语作为亮点，但是这种句子可能很难表述，因为本身没有习惯。所以没有十足把握我还是不要亲易尝试了……
我发现这种尝试有点凭感觉，感觉好像一些短语是没有语法的（可能是习惯表达）。所以应该特别注意其语法合理性。

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作者: powerfulbean    时间: 2017-8-27 21:50:08



74) The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim:
Grove College can experience an increase in application after adopting coeducation.
Data:
Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.
Warrant:
Because other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, Grove College also can.
Question:
Is all the college that adopt coeducation accept more applications?
Is the increase in other colleges is significant?
Is Grove College ready to accommodate more students, the fund? Budget?
Is the Grove College in the same situation as other schools that adopted coeducation? May be not as same as the successful colleges, the Grove College are in the area which do not possess so many male students ready to enter the college.

Claim:
Adopting coeducation will have negative impact on the applications of Grove College.
Data:
Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
Warrant:
Because the graduated and undergraduate students favored the college keeping the college all female, few female students will applicant Grove College if it adopt coeducation.
Question:
What the proportion of incoming students what accept the annual surveys?
Does the coeducation is also another primary reason?
Does the survey of Grove alumnae happened recently？

Intro:
According to the president of Grove College, admitting male students will increase the number of applicants and enrollments. On the other hand, the alum association director uses data from survey of incoming students and alumnae to oppose the recommendation. Question have to be answered regarding how comparable Grove College is to other all-female colleges, the attitudes of current students, faculty members and also the school’s budget.

TS1
We do not know for sure that Grove School will have more applications if switching to a co-educational college. The first thing we have to figure out is that is all the colleges choosing to adopt coeducation enjoy an increase in applications and enrollments? If not, which is of high possibility, we also have to make sure if it is useful to compare Grove to other all-female colleges which recently made the move.  May be those colleges are in the areas which possess a lot of male students ready to enter colleges, or they have enough class rooms, dorms and teachers to accommodate more students. So, if other colleges have some positive factors  that Grove does not share, the data from the other colleges would not be relevant for making decision.

修改部分明天补上 ：D

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作者: 安歌    时间: 2017-8-27 22:21:22

Arg 17 Change to news and talk for radio station

17) The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.

To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

Claim1
We must make listeners from new residents—the elderly.
Data
There is a decline of listeners in rock-music show against a population growth of retired people.
Evidence
Evidence is needed that indicate most elderly do not like rock-music. It is possible that there are more young people who are no longer interested in rock-music, the decrease rate of which exceeds the increase rate of elder people who get interested in rock-music.
Claim2
There is limited interest in music.
Data
a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music
Warrant
Evidence
It is important to show what kind of recorded music experience decline of sale.

Claim3
We should change to a news and talk format
Data
Warrant
a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area
Evidence
Though this form of radio is increasingly popular, it might still not be as popular as the rock-music show. More evidence is needed to show how popular the news and talk show is compared with rock-music show.

According to manager of WWAC radio station, WWAC must change its current rock-music format. Mentioning a decline in listener numbers, the manager decides that the station will change its format to news and talk. A number of assumptions have been made about the change in number of listeners, local population and sales of recorded music. These assumptions need to be scrutinized carefully to assess the strength of the arguments.

To begin with, the manager decides to make listeners of the new residents—the retired people. Citing that the program witnesses decline in the number of listeners against increase in elder population, the manager makes the decision to meet the taste of the retired people. However, possibility remains that the elderly might turn out to be fan of rock-music program, if the number of young people who are interested in rock music declines at a faster rate in proportion to that of the elderly. In such a manner, changing the format may neither meet the need of the younger generation nor the taste of the old.
…
In conclusion, it might be insufficient to draw the conclusion that changing the format from rock-music to news and talk can really reverse the current down fall for the station. The assumptions have to be critically examined by referring to issues such as the taste of the retired population, the sales conditions of the recorded music and the popularity of news and talk in the local area.


POS
RS

原句：Information exploding, there are more and more different among distinct professions, anyone who wants to make new discovery in typical filed must spend much time in learning what have been done and what to be done.

1.        there are more and more different – differences
2.        Information exploding, there are more and more differences among distinct professions. (断句) Anyone who wants to make new discovery in typical filed must spend much time in learning what have been done and what to be done.
3.        Anyone who wants to make new discovery in typical filed must spend much (more) time in learning what have been done and what (need) to be done.

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作者: MaggieLLLLLL    时间: 2017-8-27 22:46:39

32) The following appeared in a memo from a vice president of Quiot Manufacturing.
During the past year, Quiot Manufacturing had 30 percent more on-the-job accidents than at the nearby Panoply Industries plant, where the work shifts are one hour shorter than ours. Experts say that significant contributing factors in many on-the-job accidents are fatigue and sleep deprivation among workers. Therefore, to reduce the number of on-the-job accidents at Quiot and thereby increase productivity, we should shorten each of our three work shifts by one hour so that employees will get adequate amounts of sleep.
Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

The vice president of Quiot Manufacturing concluded that the company should shorten their work shifts by one hour in order to reduce on-the-job accident and improve productivity by providing the evidence that fatigue and lack of sleep is the primary factor of working accidents and that Panoply who has less accidents has a shorter working shift than them. However, before we could successfully convinced that the recommendation is effective, we should examine the warranties some assumptions that sleeping the real cause of the accidents, shorten working shifts could be useful to provide more sleeping time to their employees and that getting more sleep would increase the company's productivity.
       
Firstly, the vice president assumed that the cause of on-the-job accidents of Quiot Manufacturing is lack of sleep of their employee which was stated by the expert. Nevertheless, there may be other possibilities that the employees of Quiot Manufacturing already has enough sleep, and the reason why there are more on-the-job accidents is that their employees are lack of proper training, or the job they done is simply more dangerous than what Panoply's workers done. It may also be the fault of the outdated machines and facilitates that could cause accidents. Without fully ruled out all the other possibilities that could cause the accidents, we could not be give this hasty assumption that the one and only reason of on-the-job accidents of Quiot Manufacturing is because of lack of sleep, which then further put his argument untenable.

Secondly, it is also assumed that shorten working shifts like Panoply would be useful in improving their employees' sleeping conditions. Yet, there may be other scenarios that the employees' lifestyle is unhealthy when most of them are used to stay up late during the night, or they simply use the extra time provided by the company to do other things for entertainment instead of sleeping. It also remains questionable that shorten each three work shifts by one hour would be adequate for their employees to get enough sleep because some employees may find it not enough. Lacking such information, we could not be convinced that by implementing this recommendation, the Quiot Manufacturing Company's employees would get enough sleep, which then leads to less accidents and more productivity as stated by the Vice President.

Thirdly, it is assumed that getting adequate sleep would lead to more productivity of the company. However, it may not be the case as the employees may already have enough sleep, and in order to increase productivity, the company may need to train their employees more systematically, to update their machines, to set a regulation and reward system. All the other scenarios may cast great doubt on the effectiveness of the argument which may further undermine the validity of the argument.

In conclusion, the argument that the Quiot Company should shorten their working shift to reduce on-the-job accidents and increase productivity has some unstated assumptions which, if proven to be unwarranted, would hugely vitiate the soundness of the argument. These assumptions include that the real factor of more accidents is lack of sleep, the shorten working shifts by one hour would bring their employees adequate sleep and getting more sleep would lead to improved productivity.

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作者: 战G进行时    时间: 2017-8-27 22:46:45

3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段
According to the letter, the store owner who writes it believes that skateboarding is the direct cause of the decrease of shoppers in Central Plaza and that the prohibition of skateboarding is helpful to increase the business in the plaza. However, if we delve into the phenomenon described by the owner, some questions need to be answered to link the recommendation to the predicted result.

中间段
First of all, it is necessary to find out why the number of customers who come to the plaza and spend money has been decreasing in the past two years. The owner mainly attributes it to the popularity of skateboarding. However, there is no data to indicate that shoppers dislike the skateboarding people. Maybe shoppers discard the plaza due to its poor products or service quality, or they may also find a better place to enjoy shopping. If this is the case, there is no use prohibiting skateboarding.

改错
SV
            Subject-verb agreement  
            The subject and verb  do not agree in number
  主谓一致
The conclusion is based on the assumption that the results of the survey is reliable.
修改：
The conclusion is based on the assumption that the results of the survey are reliable.

However, some people points SV out when happening something RP under emergency, they should make a risky choice without much thinking.
修改
However, some people point out that when there is something happening under emergency, they should make a risky choice without much thinking.

The chairperson merely compare SV the current data with previous years recycling state
修改
The chairperson merely compares the current data with previous years recycling state

感想：主谓不一致或者时态错误是我之前互改里几乎每篇都会遇到，甚至不只一次的。非常值得重视的一个问题

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作者: Joker—XYZ    时间: 2017-8-27 23:28:48



Argument 74/147/148/149/156
Arg 74Girls college Switches to co-education

74) The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


1
claim: The college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men.
data: Experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation,
warrant : Coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.

question: Are there any other all-female college had similar change recently?
evidence: applications data and enrollment data of these schools.
assumption: Coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment.

2
claim: All-female education is essential to the very identity of the college.
data: Annual surveys of incoming students shows that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove.
warrant :The college should continually insist its century-old tradition of all-female education

question: How many alumnae participated in the annual surveys?
evidence: A  considerable number of alumnae participated the annual.
assumption: Coeducation will cause losing of some potential female students.

3
claim: All-female education is essential to the very identity of the college.
data: A survey of Grove alumnae shows in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.
warrant :The college should continually insist its century-old tradition of all-female education.

question: The backgrounds of the survey respondents.
evidence: The survey respondents have various backgrounds.
assumption:The survey is accountable and the college should continually insist its century-old tradition of all-female education.

intro:

According to the president of Grove College, the college should turn to coeducation to increase applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan and cites survey of incoming students and alumnae, respectively. To evaluate the argument, there should be a comparison  of Grove College and other all-female colleges.In addition, the soundness of the surveys should be checked.

2
On the other hand, the directer of the alumnae association cites data from different surveys to oppose president’s point.It is important to consider  the attitudes of incoming students, alumnae, faculty members, employers and the entire society. We do not know for sure if the design of the surveys is completed and the respondents are various. The soundness of a survey depends on a considerable counterparts who have various backgrounds.

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作者: SylviaMengyaya    时间: 2017-8-27 23:49:51



5) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season.
Claim: By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville.
Data: Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on mopeds last year.
Warrant: limits on moped rentals is the main reason of Seaville’s reduction; two islands are similar with each other.
Questions: Whether limits on moped rentals is the main reason of the reduction in Seaville’s town? Whether most accidents in Balmer Island happen in summer? Whether the increasing of population is the main reason of the accidents on the Balmer Island?

Intro: In the letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette, it is recommended that the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the islands moped rental companies from 50 per  day to 25 per day during the summer season and the moped accidents will reduce 50 percent annually. The reason for this recommendation is that reduction in moped accidents was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, which enforced similar limits last year. We need to answer questions about the reason of the reduction in Seaville’s town, the records of accidents in Balmer Island and the cause of accidents to evaluate the recommendation.

P1: First of all, we need to know what is the main reason of the reduction in Seaville Island. It is said in the letter that Seaville attained 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents and its town council enforced the similar limits last year. However, we can not make sure that this limitation is the main reason of the reduction in Seaville Island. Maybe Seaville’s council put forward other policies such as providing free bicycles to citizen and strengthen traffic regulation. Therefore, we need to know whether the limits on mopeds  is the main reason of the reduction of  moped accidents in Swaville Island last summer.

改错练习：WC
Secondly,sophisticated mathematical models or computer stimulating softwares are anticipated (WC- word choice) to analysis risks well in an scientific ways
修改：is anticipated to —> is expected to
感想：选词问题其实也困惑了我很久，但是一直没找到什么好的解决方法，感觉唯一的方法就是多看多积累。其实我们写语文作文的时候有些词的用法也是不确定的，也是需要查词典，然后记下来，再应用到写作当中。

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作者: huan19880122    时间: 2017-8-27 23:51:20



Argument 3/171
Arg 3skateboarding in Central Plaza

3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

开头段：
The argument states that the skateboard users are responsible for the business decline and the problems of litter and vandalism of Central Plaza, thus recommends to prohibit skateboarding to restore its business level. To assess whether this policy would work, root causes of the listing problems should be investigated and the possible effects of the policy fully considered.

中间段：
Even skateboarders are responsible for the listed problems at some level, prohibiting skateboarding may not be a solution, even could worsen the problems. It could reduce the numbers of shoppers related to skateboarding. As known from the argument, dramatically increased popularity of skateboarding implies a large amount of people will be affected if the policy implements. Skateboarders, their families and friends may have been regular customers of the plaza. Skateboarders may have used to shop at the plaza before or after skateboarding, so do their families and friends, due to the convenience. By implementing the inhibiting policy, Central Plaza stands a large chance losing this proportion of customers.

修改1  RP
原句：TS：Imagination has been emphasized for decades along with the progress in professional and academic fields. The prevalence of the phrase ‘thinking outside the box’ is a commonly seen evidence. I admit imagination is paramount during the emergence of a new industry or scientific field, but at the current stage of most professions and academic fields, which are built with thousands or hundreds years accumulated knowledge, imagination can only have its role when people acquired with RP proper knowledge. 


修改：I admit imagination is paramount during the emergence of a new industry or scientific field, but at the current stage of most professions and academic fields, which are built with thousands or hundreds years accumulated knowledge, imagination can only have its role with well founded knowledge.

修改2: RP
原句：The argument assumes if Palean basket is made by Palean people, its appearance in Lithos has to be brought over (RP) by people.

修改：The argument assumes if Palean basket is made by Palean people, the only possible explanation of its appearance in Lithos is to be carried to Lithos by human beings.

修改3:RP
原句：However, many other ways could also do the work.
修改：However, many other possible scenarios could also explain the appearance.

感受：只有自己知道自己在说啥是很多年前最开始写作文时最大的问题，开始很难发现和接受是自己的问题，后来准备申请材料的时候有次别人帮忙修改，一下子开窍了。写作就是对自己观点的表达，我们的教育对这方面的涉及太少，以前的语文作文也都是注重所谓表达‘意境和感情’，却没人在乎说理，就导致了自觉写的表达的是至真道理，在别人眼里根本不知道你想说啥，虽然经过很多年，自觉改进了很多，经老师批改才发现，这老毛病还是偶尔冒头，需要注意。

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作者: SilverB    时间: 2017-8-27 23:54:02



3) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

claim: Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.
data: Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically.
warrant: (The owner think the decrease of their business and the skateboard users appear at the same time. The reducing of the shoppers leads to the decreasing of stores' business.)
question: Are the question of the business decline is really the skateboarding? Maybe other options: another emporium not far from here opened to the shoppers two years ago.

claim: (The increase in the amount of litter and vandalism due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.)
data: There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism.
warrant: (The litter and vandalism are made by the skateboard users.)
question: Where are the litter come from? maybe other people who play here. maybe because the decline of the shoppers, Central Plaza has reduced the frequency of cleaning and repair service.

claim: The owners of the stores recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza and predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high level.
data: The increasing in the amount of litter and vandalism due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza.
warrant:
question: Even if all these problems are related to skateboarding, would all the things return to the previous level? Do they have the right to prohibit the activities in Central Plaza?

Introduce:
According to the author, in the past two years, the number of the shoppers in the Central Plaza has declined sharply as the increasing of the skateboarding. Indeed, the author argues that skateboarding is responded for more litter and serious vandalism in the past two years. Consequently, the author appeals to prohibit skateboarding in order to return the high level. To evaluate the claim of the recommendation, we need to ask a number of questions related to the decline of shoppers, the increasing of rubbish and damage, and the situation after prohibiting skateboarding. And all the questions point out the holes in the arguments.

Middle:
In order to fully evaluate this letter, we also need to learn more about the question related to the decline of shoppers. Are the reason of the business decline is really the skateboarding? We don't know, the owners of stores insist the statement just because they occurred at same time. But the time range is so long, two years, as to determine the relationship between business and skateboarding. Moreover, the reason for the decline of shoppers is perhaps another emporium not far from here opened to citizen two years ago. And the emporium is more convenient and abundant than Central Plaza. According to market competition theory, the customers naturally choose the better stores, and the other one would lose their market and customers. This possible reason provides another perspective and illustrates the hole in the letter.


错误类型：WC

原句：The argument (WC) talks about whether we should think about the consequence over before we take the risk. In my opinion, whether to do that depends on how much you know about the risks, whether you can do some analyzing (VF) of risk and the situation (WC- a bit too vague here) in which the risk taker is (RP) .(Issue 61)
修改：The issue talks about whether we should think about the consequence over before we take the risk. In my opinion, whether to do that depends on how much you know about the risks, whether you can do some analyzing (VF) of risk, and the specific characteristic of risks like environment, your position and so on.

感想：
单词使用不恰当的具体错误很难被作者自己发现， 该错误有三种类型，一种是英语中没有这样的表达，一种是非惯用表达（使用同义词替代，但是不合适），还有一种是语法都没有问题，但是单词的程度不合适。
第一种类型一般在写作的时候，作者能够感受到不是很确定，可通过自问：在英文文章中见过这样的表达吗？这是一个考验记忆库的过程，如果没有见过，而且想确认一下这样表达是否可以，可通过Google搜索这样的表达，看结果数量。
第二种类型也可按照上述方法确认，但是在积累同义词的过程中明确每种词的使用情况和范围。
第三种类型需要根据具体的文章情况来判断单词的表达，方法基本是通过能力比自己高的人的feedback查找。

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作者: Dover999    时间: 2017-8-28 00:05:05



5) The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Balmer Island Gazette.

On Balmer Island, where mopeds serve as a popular form of transportation, the population increases to 100,000 during the summer months. To reduce the number of accidents involving mopeds and pedestrians, the town council of Balmer Island should limit the number of mopeds rented by the island's moped rental companies from 50 per day to 25 per day during the summer season. By limiting the number of rentals, the town council will attain the 50 percent annual reduction in moped accidents that was achieved last year on the neighboring island of Seaville, when Seaville's town council enforced similar limits on moped rentals.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

尝试写老师 说的模板提纲，可是感觉很难，就直接写全文了
The author of the letter to the editor recommends that the Balmer’s town council should constrict the number of daily mopeds rented from rental companies  so as to decrease the moped accidents. The support warrant comes from the abutting island of Seaville.  To validate the plan, we need answer such questions, the major reason caused the accidents, whether the rental mopeds occupy the main parts among all the mopeds and the number of the rental mopeds during the four seasons separately.   


We have known that the mopeds, a fashionable way of transportation in the Balmer Island, can caused accidents, but we don’t know how does these accidents happen. Hence the answers to the question about the reason of these accidents are need in order to think of a efficicate way to decrease the accident. It maybe because the pedestrians usually don’t comply to traffic rules  that causes the accidents. In such a circumstance, a decrease in the number of the mopeds can’t solve the problem effectively. On the contrary, the council should strengthen  the pedestrians’ awareness of traffic rules in order to decrease the accidents. Hence it’s very important to figure out the main reason that causes the accidents before the council hatch out any scheme.

Even though we are told that reason of the accidents are find out and decrease the number of mopeds can indeed drop the accidents, the question on whether mopeds from the rentals companies account for the major parts among the mopeds in the streets needs to be answered. If most of the mopeds in the streets don’t come from the rentals companies but personal possess, it makes little sense to limit the number of rentals mopeds per day. It’s more useful to limit or ban the total the mopeds in the streets than merely constrict the rentals companies.  
If the answers to above question are positive, we still need to the answer the question that if there are most people by mopeds during the summer. The summer maybe so hot that enforce most of people don’t choose the mopeds as main measure to go out. However, when it’s  spring or autumn season, the climate are temperate and the mopeds becomes the most popular way of transportation. It’s more advisable to adopt such a scheme during spring and autumn season than the summer season.   So it’s meaningful to answer such a question before carrying out this plan only during summer season.

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作者: 芸乔    时间: 2017-8-28 00:06:40

41) The following appeared in a health newsletter.

A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of bicycle-related accidents has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents, the government should concentrate more on educating people about bicycle safety and less on encouraging or requiring bicyclists to wear helmets.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.



The author of the newsletter cast doubt on the effectiveness and necessity of wearing a helmet when bicycling. Data about the percentage of bicycle-related accidents has increased in the last ten years. The author therefore claims that the public safety-education is more efficient than the encouragement and requirement of wearing helmets. However, more evidence is needed to help us evaluate the author’s conclusion. If these assumptions prove unwarranted, the argument will be seriously undermined.

To begin with, although the number of bicycle-related accidents is three times of the data ten years ago, we cannot safely assume that the increased accidents should be attributed to the people wearing helmets. That is to say, there is no proved relationship between the people wearing helmets and the bicycles. It is possible that accidents are caused by people who do not wear helmets.  

修改晚点补上，先打个主卡。

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作者: freefm    时间: 2017-8-28 09:47:53

前意识的斑点 发表于 2017-8-27 15:21
In this argument, the manager of WWAC radio station concludes that they need to change to a news and ...

1. more evidence are needed to evaluate the argument, 不一定会是加强，evidence不可数
2. perhaps the radio should think about attract more young people. 这句话有些中式，think about后跟句子或者名词，这儿跟了一个动词。
3. 第三段，music format应该加一个the；there be 句型那个start应该是starting
4.第四段，help sb do；
5.首尾句基本一样，可以换个句式什么的。

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作者: 芥弥    时间: 2017-8-28 10:05:09

171) The following appeared as a letter to the editor from the owner of a skate shop in Central Plaza.

Two years ago the city voted to prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. They claimed that skateboard users were responsible for the litter and vandalism that were keeping other visitors from coming to the plaza. In the past two years, however, there has only been a small increase in the number of visitors to Central Plaza, and litter and vandalism are still problematic. Skateboarding is permitted in Monroe Park, however, and there is no problem with litter or vandalism there. In order to restore Central Plaza to its former glory, then, we recommend that the city lift its prohibition on skateboarding in the plaza.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

According to the memo, the owner of a skate shop in Central Plaza claimed that the city should lift its ban on skateboarding in the plaza. This argument is concluded by referring to the phenomenon of vandalism and litter, the small increase in the visitor number and the measure taken in Monroe Park. Several questions have arised from this argument and the reasoning process. In order to decide if it is a wise choice to follow the measure taken in Monroe Park, we have to investigate this matter thoroughly to answer these questions.

To begin with, we want to ask the question why litter and vandalism happened and whether these reasons are related to skateboard users. It is possible that a large amount of litter was caused by the visitors going there. Likewise,it is equally possible that vandalism was caused by the local kids playing in the plaza. In cases of these, it is far from reasonable to attribute these phenomena to the skateboard users. Therefore, we should investigate the reason of litter and vandalism in the plaza and its correlation with skateboarding before we could decide if skateboard users were responsible for the litter and vandalism in the Central Plaza.

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作者: 遠子w    时间: 2017-8-28 10:30:20

3.The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.
"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

•        Claim: prohibiting skateboarding
Data: number of shoppers decreases, while popularity of skateboarding increases
Warrant: popularity of skateboarding -> decrease in number of shoppers
Question:
1.        Time sequence? If decrease in number of shoppers occurs first?
2.        Other reasons other than popularity of skateboarding?

•        Claim: prohibiting skateboarding
Data: amount of litter and vandalism increases
Warrant: popularity of skateboarding -> litter and vandalism -> decrease in number of shoppers
Question:
1.        relationship between popularity of skateboarding and litter vandalism?
2.        Will this policy that is prohibiting skateboarding be effective?


The author of the letter recommends that skateboarding should be prohibited in order to let the business in Central Plaza to bounce back to the previous level (or resume the business to the previous level). The recommendation is based on the assumption that popularity of skateboarding causes the number of shoppers in Central Plaza to decrease. However, in order to evaluate the author’s recommendation, we still need to answer several questions such as the sequence of the popularity of skateboarding and the decline in the number of shoppers, other possible reasons that may lead to gloomy business in Central Plaza, the relationship between vandalism and skateboarding, and the effectiveness of prohibiting skateboarding.
Firstly, the question about the sequence of the two events should be addressed. In the letter, the statistic shows that when skateboarding becomes popular, number of shoppers in Central Plaza declines. And the author assumes that the popularity of skateboarding occurred first. However, if before the skateboarding became popular, number of shoppers already had started to decline rapidly, then we might not be able to conclude that the popularity of skateboarding causes the decrease in number of shoppers. Decline in number of shoppers might be caused by other reasons. Therefore, prohibiting skateboarding might not be effective to boom the business.
Moreover, there might be other possible reasons that cause the decline in the number of shoppers. For example, the city where Central Plaza is located could encounter economic crisis in recent years, so people’s purchasing power decreased. And they could not afford to shop in the Central Plaza; thus, the number of shoppers declined. Under this circumstance, prohibiting skateboarding would not boom the business because popularity of skateboarding is not the reason behind the gloomy business. (同一了一下時態，全部改成了過去式＋虛擬語氣)
Furthermore, we also need to examine the relationship between vandalism and skateboarding. In the letter, the author implies that skateboarding brought vandalism and littering, and due to vandalism and littering, the number of shoppers declined. However, vandalism and littering might not be related to skateboarding. For example, vandalism and littering might arise because the security of Central Plaza became weak or Central Plaza fired many policemen. In this case, vandalism might not arise from skateboarding, so popularity of skateboarding might not be the indirect cause of decrease in number of shoppers. Thus, prohibiting skateboarding might be useless. (發現自己有時候用may有時候用might。。。orz)
Finally, we also need to ask about the effectiveness of prohibiting skateboarding. If we assume that the author’s claim is true, that skateboarding did cause the number of shopper to decrease, we still might need to examine the effectiveness of prohibiting skateboarding. We may need to ask if the damage caused by skateboarding is enduring and long-term. For example, skateboarding might leave a very bad impression on shoppers so that they did not want to come back ever. Even prohibiting skateboarding could not fix the damage under this circumstance. Therefore, prohibiting skateboarding might be not effective in this case.
In conclusion, without answering the above questions, it is difficult to decide if the author’s claim or recommendation has predictive power or not.

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作者: gre满分周    时间: 2017-8-28 19:11:35

3)The following appeared as a letter to the editor from a Central Plaza store owner.

Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

In this letter to a Central Plaza store owner, the author recommends oust the increasing amount of skaters because they result in the depletion of customers. To support his/her claim, the author lists some examples indicating the ringing population has certain connection with the cut down of the amount of the consumption. Quite convincing though his/her argument may seem at first glance, there are a number of questions regarding his/her lines of reasoning that need further analysis. The argument could end up being pretty convincing or invalid in the end, depending on the answers to those questions.

To begin with, the author’s reasoning relies on surface phenomenon of decreasing customers accompanying with increasing skaters, a question that is not answered. It is possible that some other plaza more popular among people that have been built in some place which attract customers used to visit Central Plaza. Without additional information to assure whether the rising skaters assume an role of depression of the economy, it is possible that there is no connection between economic depression and skating population arisen. This scenario would seriously challenge the predicted in expelling the skating people, and render the author’s recommendation much less advisable. On the other hand, any valid proof that the banishment is well founded will strengthen the author’s argument.   

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作者: youzi42    时间: 2017-8-28 19:17:54



Arg 109 shift programming in radio station-o

109) The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.

Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, that the number of people in our listening area over fifty years of age has increased dramatically, while our total number of listeners has declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful. The switch from rock-and-roll music to 24-hour news will attract older listeners and secure KNOW radio's future.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

claim: Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format.

data: the number of the listeners
warrant: Consider, for example, that the number of people in our listening area over fifty years of age has increased dramatically, while our total number of listeners has declined.
assumption: listeners aren't interested in the rock-and-roll music
evidence: - people prefer listening to continuous news to rock-and-roll music
                 - the quality of the radio has nothing to do with the declined number of listeners

data: sales of recorded music
warrant: Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music.
assumption: recorded music is no longer popular
evidence: - the market of the recorded music to ensures that the poor sales has nothing to do with the shopworn sale strategies of the stores
                 - the online sales of music records

data: news station
warrant: Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful.
assumption: continuous news format is more popular
evidence: the citizens in this city would like continuous news stations too

  Recently, the declined numbers of listeners and poor sales of recorded music let the general manager of KNOW radio decide to make a reform. He tends to transfer the style of radio from rock-and-roll music to the seemingly more promising continuous news format. Obviously, the decision is based on many assumptions, explicitly or implicitly, which need further explorations to evaluate the recommendation.
  First of all, based on the number of listeners in the KNOW radio, we can assume that the listeners are more likely to watch the 24-hour news . However, we can't make an judgment that the listeners would like the new form merely depend on the the phenomena. Since other than rock-and-roll music, there are still diverse choices for the listeners to choose from. If the majority of the listeners still prefer music radio, not the continuous news, then, the general manager would fail to catch the listener's ears again.
  Secondly, according to the decreased sales of recorded music, there is an assumption that people no longer longing for the rock-and-roll music but for some other plays, maybe the continuous news. Considering the large shares of the music sales, we can't ignore the online sales of music records. What's more, without further investigations, we can't tell whether the rock-and-roll music records is still popular while records of other forms declines. Before we get a more comprehensive of the rock-and-roll music market, we can't simply come to an conclusion that rock-and-roll music is recessive.

掐时间写的，只够写到第二个中间段，速度要提上来。

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作者: 拒绝失学    时间: 2017-8-28 20:07:17

Argument 74/147/148/149/156
Arg 74Girls college Switches to co-education

74) The president of Grove College has recommended that the college abandon its century-old tradition of all-female education and begin admitting men. Pointing to other all-female colleges that experienced an increase in applications after adopting coeducation, the president argues that coeducation would lead to a significant increase in applications and enrollment. However, the director of the alumnae association opposes the plan. Arguing that all-female education is essential to the very identity of the college, the director cites annual surveys of incoming students in which these students say that the school's all-female status was the primary reason they selected Grove. The director also points to a survey of Grove alumnae in which a majority of respondents strongly favored keeping the college all female.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


Intro
Regarding the issue that whether Grove College should accept the recommendation of coeducation, both the reasons put forward by the president and the alumnae association are lacking in detail. That is to say, in order to make the proper decision, there still exist several questions to be answered. First, is the survey tenable? Second, will coeducation really increase the applications and enrollment? And the last one, except Grove alumnae, how do other people think about Grove College? As long as these questions are clarified accurately, we can consider the issue in a more proper way.

Ts1
To begin with, the first question to be answered is that whether the survey mentioned by the alumnae association is tenable enough. More accurately, we should determine that whether the all-female education is really the core identity of Grove College, thus being the cardinal point students care about. By citing the survey, the association already assumes that the survey is justifiable. However, we do not know the exact questions of the survey and whether the sample is representative. Possibly, the question will induce respondents to give the answers, or the number of respondents is not big enough, and so forth. If this is the case, then it is doubtable that students really care about the all-female education so much. Therefore, to corroborate their argument, the association should give the details of the survey.

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作者: 心玉夕颜    时间: 2017-8-28 23:23:15

61) The following appeared in an article in the Grandview Beacon.

For many years the city of Grandview has provided annual funding for the Grandview Symphony. Last year, however, private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled. The symphony has also announced an increase in ticket prices for next year. Given such developments, some city commissioners argue that the symphony can now be fully self-supporting, and they recommend that funding for the symphony be eliminated from next year's budget.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.


开头段：
In this argument, the author points out that some city commissioners recommend to eliminate funding for the symphony from next year's budget. To support this recommendation, the author demonstrates that private contributions to the symphony increased by 200 percent, attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series doubled last year, and announcement about an increase in ticket prices. However, there are still some questions needed to be answered whether this conclusion is substantiated as it stands.

中间段：
First of all, one important question which needs to be addressed is whether previous amounts of private contributions and attendance at the symphony's concerts-in-the-park series are considerable so that double of them should be enough for supporting the symphony. Since base data of private contributions and attendance is unknown, it is unsubstantial to claim that double of them can sufficiently support the symphony. For example, if the least amount of funding for run a symphony was 5 million dollars a year and the private contributions was 1 million and box office was 500,000 dollars, after doubling, the total amount was 3 million dollars which was much less than 5 million dollars. Therefore, the author simply jumps to the conclusion that the symphony can be fully self-supporting, yet this correlation may not be firmly established.

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作者: Evelynnnnn    时间: 2017-8-29 22:22:41

109) The following appeared in a memorandum from the general manager of KNOW radio station.

Several factors indicate that radio station KNOW should shift its programming from rock-and-roll music to a continuous news format. Consider, for example, that the number of people in our listening area over fifty years of age has increased dramatically, while our total number of listeners has declined. Also, music stores in our area report decreased sales of recorded music. Finally, continuous news stations in neighboring cities have been very successful. The switch from rock-and-roll music to 24-hour news will attract older listeners and secure KNOW radio's future.

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

According to the recommendation of general manager of KNOW radio station, this station should change its format from rock-and-role to continuous news. On the basis of more people over fifty years of age, the manager argues that news will attract more older listeners. Such conclusion may seem reasonable at first glance, however, it fails to entirely compelling, for it yields several unproven assumptions that need to be backed up with more concrete evidences and closer examination.

First of all, the manager falsely make such assumptions that  the decline of number of listeners is the result of increasing number of older people who do not like rock and roll music. Without clarifying with more valid evidences, the arguers fails to buttress his assumption. While it is not completely impossible for him to strength the argument. If the older people there like to listen to the radio station and younger man prefer to telephone or Internet to acquire new information and relax. This situation also may cause the decline of the radio station's listeners.

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作者: sofresh666888    时间: 2017-8-30 15:27:45

Arg 21 Dr. Field anthropologist

10) Twenty years ago, Dr. Field, a noted anthropologist, visited the island of Tertia. Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents. Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village. Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

Claim: In Tertia, Children are raised by the entire village instead of by their own biological parents.
Data: Using an observation-centered approach to studying Tertian culture, he concluded from his observations that children in Tertia were reared by an entire village rather than by their own biological parents.
Warrant: Biological parents are not the main one who raise their children.
Evidence: Using the theory of observation-centered for Tertian.

Claim: Another study shows that children have more to say about their biological parents.
Data: Recently another anthropologist, Dr. Karp, visited the group of islands that includes Tertia and used the interview-centered method to study child-rearing practices. In the interviews that Dr. Karp conducted with children living in this group of islands, the children spent much more time talking about their biological parents than about other adults in the village.
Warrant: Children there are raised mainly by their parents.
Evidence: Another scholar’s research result.

Claim: Interview-centered method might be more accurate than the other method.  
Data: Dr. Karp decided that Dr. Field's conclusion about Tertian village culture must be invalid. Some anthropologists recommend that to obtain accurate information on Tertian child-rearing practices, future research on the subject should be conducted via the interview-centered method.
Warrant: According to the different research result, Dr. Field’s observation-centered theory might not be accurate.  

Into
According to two scholars’ different research result, it is believed that from the case study of Terian children’s feeling towards their biological parents’ interview-centered method is more accurate. To support the claim, the author puts different research result comparison to show that observation-centered method is not a good way for doing social research. However, not only alternatives studying methods influence the result, other factors may affect the case study as well.

Middle paragraph
To begin with, two studies both have shown the children’s relation with their biological parents and their villagers. However, the first study is from the point of view of observing study while the second one is interview-centered methods. Terian children may have a different environment of growing up during their childhood, while observing and interviewing children might be a one-side way to study it. Other factor may affect the result of the study as well, such as children’s cognitive abilities, the traditions and culture of raising children and the villagers’ view of taking care other families children.   

错误代码：MI—Need more information
原句：However, the first study is from the point of view of observing study while the second one is interview-centered methods.
改句：However, the first study is an observing study while the second one is interview-centered methods.

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作者: Leona2017    时间: 2017-8-31 20:48:39

Arg 17 Change to news and talk for radio station

17) The following appeared in a memorandum from the manager of WWAC radio station.

To reverse a decline in listener numbers, our owners have decided that WWAC must change from its current rock-music format. The decline has occurred despite population growth in our listening area, but that growth has resulted mainly from people moving here after their retirement. We must make listeners of these new residents. We could switch to a music format tailored to their tastes, but a continuing decline in local sales of recorded music suggests limited interest in music. Instead we should change to a news and talk format, a form of radio that is increasingly popular in our area.

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

In this memorandum, the manager of WWAC radio station states that the owners have decided to change the current rock-music format in order to stop the listener numbers from declining, considering the growing population, the dropping(drop in) sales of recorded music and the popular news and talk (format of radio.) However, to evaluate the soundness of the argument, specific evidence is needed(we need to collect more evidence about these issues).

First of all, we need to know the past records of the listener numbers of this radio station. If the records present(s) that there is always an increase after each drop and the recently observed decrease in within the normal range, then there is no need to change the current format in such a harsh(hurried/rush) way. On the contrast, maybe it would be more suitable to maintain the rock-music format to keep the special style of the radio station.

Another important evidence we need(We also need to look into the reasons why…) is that the attitude of the listeners. Maybe they still like the rock music but since they have to go back to work or school after a holiday, the listeners don’t have enough spare time (to listen) as before, which lead to the drop (of the listeners). (If this is the case),It would be a better choice for the managers to do a survey and find out the real cause of the decline. It is possible that the(listeners) are still fond of the format and they just run out of time.

As for the conclusion of a limited interest in music based on the continuing decline in local sales of recorded music, we also need more evidence(need to collect more information about) to evaluate the argument correctly. For example, we need to know the number of sales in music online(这个不对。因为recorded music本身就包括线下和线上的，应该改成download/poor economy/concert等其他原因). Perhaps local residents prefer this new way of buying music since it is more convenient and cheaper. If there is a growing number of people who buy songs on the Internet, and even the rock music is one of the hottest genre, changing the current music style is apparently not a good choice.

Finally, in terms of the news and talk format, it may be more challenging to devote to this field as many other stations may have also made the same decision to change to this specific genre. As a result, the choices provided may outstrip the actual need and it is likely that WWAC would suffer a more painful decline in listener numbers.


用来补回之前的作业的~直接定时写了全文，没有按照要求批改啦

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