Issue185【0906G背水一战三月小组】第6次作业 by yunfeiyang4ever

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【提纲】论点：尽管丑闻可以用演说家或者改革家无法使用的手段让我们注意到某些问题，但是不能简单的说丑闻是有用的；
           1. 丑闻确实能够引起人们的注意；
           2. 但是丑闻对于名人在很多情况下是弊大于利的；
           3. 更进一步说，丑闻对于社会以及大众也是弊大于利的；总结：丑闻确实能够引起大众对于某些问题的注意，但是在大多数情况下，丑闻的后果很严重；

【原文】
    The speaker asserts that scandals can be useful in any realm because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. While I partially agree with the speaker, in my view, although the scandals can focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could, we could not simply conceive that they are useful.

    Admittedly, scandals do attract public's attention. Common sense informs me that scandals -- whether in politics, academia, or other areas -- often associate to famous individuals or celebrated who are the most interested for public. For example, Marion Jones, a track superstar, who denied taking performance-enhancing drugs for several years, recently admitted she had lied about her steroid use to federal investigators. This issue concentrates public’s attention upon the excitant. For instance, ordinary people usually have the tendency to dig the nasty side of those great individuals or celebrates in order to finding a balance between them and subconsciously assert that these distinguished ones are just as ordinary people as them. Hence scandals satisfy the public's needs and claim their attention on problems undoubtedly.

    However, we could not simply think that scandals are useful. On the contract, they are harmful to the famous individuals in some circumstance. As we know, the mass media plays an important role in reporting scandals, and it always unlimitedly amplifies scandals of celebrated in order to attract more people. Unfortunately, no matter how the mass mediaexpands, audience may believe it more or less. Although their scandals are not serious as well as the mass media describing, the image of these famous individuals must be blemished and even their reputations are withered. To illustrate this point, the former president of United States, Richard Nixon, could be an example. Admittedly, he was a very successful president who make tremendous effort to prevent more death in Vietnam as well as improve the relationship with China. Just for these accomplishments, he could have the honor to run for a second term in the United States. The Watergate event, however, eventually direct his ejection due to the erosion of his support in Congress and popularity nationwide. Therefore, from above example, no one can deny that scandals have a negative impact on these famous individuals.

    Furthermore, scandals do the public and societies pernicious. Imaging that public often hear about scandals of celebrated who are held as good examples. For example, Bill Clinton had a romantic affair with Monica Lewinsky; Also, Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players, gambles frequently and disapproves the infidelity. For that matter, there is a growing awareness that even these famous individuals are profligacy in daily life, what should we, ordinary people, do? Apparently, Scandals should cause public corrupted, then destroy public’s confidence in society justice and erode our trust with others, even compromise a stable society. For that matter, Can we still consider that scandals are useful?

    In conclusion, scandals really could focus public's attention on problems, but in most circumstance, the consequence of scandals is serious.

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The speaker asserts that scandals can be useful in any realm because they focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could. While （去掉While ，否则语法错误）I partially agree with the speaker, in my view, although the scandals can focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could,（不要重复上文的原话换个方式表达，although scandals can shift views on problems instead of speakers or reformers, 仅供参考）we（是我们认为吗？是作者认为吧） could not simply conceive（affirm，更有力度些） that they are useful。
    Admittedly, scandals do attract public's attention. Common sense informs me（尽量不要出现人称代词.It is common sense that….）that scandals -- whether in politics, academia, or other areas -- often associate to(with,注意介词的搭配) famous individuals or celebrated（the celebrated表一类人） who are the most interested for public. For example, Marion Jones, a track superstar, who denied taking performance-enhancing drugs for several years, recently admitted she had lied about her steroid use to federal investigators. This issue concentrates public’s attention upon the excitant. For instance,(这个短语是例如的意思啊，用在这里不妥，这是一个总结句，In short) ordinary people usually have the tendency to dig the nasty side of those great individuals or celebrates（the celebrated） in order to finding（find，基本语法知识） a balance between them and subconsciously assert that these distinguished ones are just as ordinary people as them. Hence scandals satisfy the public's needs and claim their attention on problems undoubtedly.

    However, we could not simply think that scandals are useful. On the contract, they are harmful to the famous individuals in （under）some circumstance.  As we know, the mass media plays an important role in reporting scandals, and it always unlimitedly amplifies scandals of celebrated in order to attract more people. Unfortunately, no matter how the mass mediaexpands, （media expands） audience （audiences） may believe it more or less. Although their scandals are not serious as well as the mass media describing, the image of these famous individuals must be blemished and even their reputations are withered. To illustrate this point, the former president of United States, Richard Nixon, could be an example. Admittedly, he was a very successful president who make （makes）tremendous effort（efforts） to prevent more death in Vietnam as well as improve the relationship with China. Just for these accomplishments, he could have the honor to run for a second term in the United States. The Watergate event, however, eventually direct his ejection due to the erosion of his support in Congress and popularity nationwide. Therefore, from above example, no one can deny that scandals have a negative impact on these famous individuals.

    Furthermore, scandals do the public and societies pernicious. Imaging that public often hear about scandals of celebrated who are held as good examples. For example, Bill Clinton had a romantic affair with Monica Lewinsky; （。）Also, Michael Jordan, one of the greatest basketball players, gambles frequently and disapproves （by）the infidelity. For that matter, there is a growing awareness that even these famous individuals are profligacy in daily life, what should we, ordinary people, do? （这句话感觉怪怪的，For that matter, there is a growing awareness that even these famous individuals are profligacy in daily life, as ordinary people, what should we, do? 感觉这样好点）Apparently, Scandals should cause public corrupted, then destroy public’s confidence in society justice and erode our trust with others, even compromise a stable society. For that matter, Can (can) we still consider that scandals are useful?

    In conclusion, scandals really could focus public's attention on problems, but in most circumstance, the consequence of scandals is serious. (结尾有点短，应该更充实，概括你的观点)
全文只在讨论丑闻是否有用上，却忽略了：丑闻可以用演说家或者改革家无法使用的手段让我们注意到某些问题，这一点，完全没有提及，这对题目的了解是不深刻的，需要补充。