本帖最后由 小羽暮雪 于 2010-6-21 10:23 编辑
6.20 It is important to know the event happening around the world that not affect your daily life, do you agree or disagree?
Sometimes an event causes long-term effect on people's life but people do not notice until it happens. Consequently, people should know the events happening around them even though the events might not affect them at present.
People should be aware of the economic development of the world, because what happens in one country may lead to potentially damage on citizens in another country. (After the 2008 crash of American financial market, the citizens in Iceland, the country investing vast amount of American sub-prime mortgage, suffered from their country's economic decision. Most of citizens who abandoned their original jobs and engaged in investing American market lost their money in the market. However, some citizens, who knew what was happing in America and the latent devastation of the event, polled out(是poll out还是pull out?) their investment rapidly and saved themselves from financial burden.)例证很具体,值得学习。
People also should care about environmental issues around them, because the issues affect people's health and their children’s development. The industry revolution introduced a more convenient but polluted world. Some people tend to ignore the fact that the potable water they drink and the air they inhale contain harmful chemicals from their neighborhood factory. Several decades ago, discarding waste into the river, people were unaware of its hidden damage to the ecosystem of aquatic organism and its potential destruction of their drinking water. Environmental pollution jeopardizes people's health, and the best way for people to avoid or enchase their environment commences with knowing the environmental issues happening around them.Reading the news papers, browsing the internet for newest information on protecting their environment, people could know the potential damages of their conducts and avoid them in effective ways.(通过人们对环境问题的了解来展开,但是好像和主题有点脱节,文题的主要论点是和关注与人们不相关的事情是否重要。例子也写的很好!)
+ _7 ]2 O7 U: d6 F% e
A8 ]# }& Z& `6 v
Admittedly, it is impossible to know potential damage of every event to people's daily life. However, knowing as much as possible will help people make prudent and informed decision to protect themselves from downfall.
总体而言,文章论证具体,论点清晰,语言流畅多变,几乎没有错误,值得学习。个人建议可以更切题一些。
|