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[作文] 【daily writing 作文特训小组】sillyds的作文帖 [复制链接]

sillyds
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楼主
发表于 2012-2-10 01:10:44 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
2.9 独立

People are paying increasing attentionabout whether more preparation for work should be provided by university. Somepeople consider a good preparation is beneficial to students’ careerdevelopment while others worries that over-emphasis on job preparation can leadto ignorance of unpopular fields of work. Taking consideration of both views, Ihold that university should prepared more for students’ work.

To begin with, we should notice that inmost universities, job preparation courses only play a small part in schooleducation. For example, students spend large part of their time in theoreticalcourses without chances to practice in real working environment. Even though theshort-term internship, which only lasts for one or two month, is too short forstudents to have a real understanding about the work they are doing, not to saythe industry. In this case, students are unable to evolve objective and maturecareer planning as well as lower their chances to develop certain abilitiesneeded in the work.

Moreover, job preparation before workingbenefits the students from two aspects. On one hand, it enhances students’awareness of being well-prepared for their work. Through continue andincreasing education about career development, students can recognize the importanceof job planning and then arrange their study for the purpose of seeking improvementin working abilities and related knowledge. Therefore, students are more likelyto get better jobs when graduate. On other hand, appropriate job educationenables students to adapt to the working environment more easily. It’sinevitable that students graduate from university find difficult to turn theirroles as employees. They may be unaccustomed to the new environment, incapableof communicating with other colleagues, etc. Pre-education about problems theymay confront in the work can reduce students’ uneasiness when facingdifficulties as well as teach them good solutions.

However, encouragement on more preparationeducation for work doesn’t mean to disregard learning of theoretical coursessince such courses enable us to possess fundamental knowledge and skills whichseemed irrelevant but actually important to the job. Also, if the universityover-emphasizes job preparation, many important fields of study would beignored. It may also hinder students’ interests in those unpopular fields suchas archaeology. Increases of job preparation education should be appropriate.

In summary, I consider that it’s necessaryfor nowadays university to properly increase education about job preparation inorder to enable students to quickly accustomed to and be well-prepared fortheir work.

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xiesisiminerva
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荣誉版主 AW小组活动奖 AW作文修改奖

沙发
发表于 2012-2-10 10:53:35 |只看该作者
2.9 独立
People are paying increasing attentionabout （to)whether more preparation for work should be provided by university. Somepeople consider a good preparation is beneficial to students’ careerdevelopment while others worries that over-emphasis on job preparation can leadto ignorance of unpopular fields of work. Taking consideration of both views, Ihold that university should prepared more for students’ work.- D& @1 d# X8 x! u; H" f* U3 T#


To begin with, we should notice that inmost universities, job preparation courses only play a small part in schooleducation. For example, students spend large part of their time in theoreticalcourses without chances to practice in real working environment. Even though theshort-term internship, which only lasts for one or two month, is too short forstudents to have a real understanding about the work they are doing, not to saythe industry. In this case, students are unable to evolve objective and maturecareer planning as well as lower their chances to develop certain abilitiesneeded in the work.

Moreover, job preparation before workingbenefits the students from two aspects. On one hand, it enhances students’awareness of being well-prepared for their work. Through continue andincreasing education about career development, students can recognize the importanceof job planning and then arrange their study for the purpose of seeking improvementin working abilities and related knowledge. Therefore, students are more likelyto get better jobs when graduate. On other hand, appropriate job educationenables students to adapt to the working environment more easily. It is inevitable (在书面作文中，不能用缩写）用that students graduate from university find itdifficult（或者difficulty) to turn theirroles as employees. They may be unaccustomed to the new environment, incapableof communicating with other colleagues, etc. Pre-education about problems theymay confront in the work can reduce students’ uneasiness when facingdifficulties as well as teach them good solutions.

However, encouragement on more preparationeducation for work doesn’t mean to disregard learning of theoretical coursessince such courses enable us to possess fundamental knowledge and skills whichseemed seemS)irrelevant but actually important to the job. Also, if the universityover-emphasizes job preparation, many important fields of study would beignored. It may also hinder students’ interests in those unpopular fields suchas archaeology. Increases of job preparation education should be appropriate.& P& N; c( N% b/ E! [& U2 t) u

In summary, I consider that it’s necessaryfor nowadays university to properly increase education about job preparation inorder to enable students to quickly accustomed to and be well-prepared fortheir work.作者的文章结构很清晰，
第一段亮观点，也把自己想要说的几点轻轻带了一下，
中间三段，
第一段讲更多准备的必要性，第二段讲对学生的职业生涯的好处，第三段让步，
最后一段简洁有力。
前后都围绕着自己的观点论证，很标准的好文章。
IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, THE WHOLE UNIVERSE CONSPIRE TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE IT!
Ecology, plant science or Biochemistry, which one point to my future?

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美蓝
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板凳
发表于 2012-2-10 13:02:11 |只看该作者
改好了~
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sillyds
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地板
发表于 2012-2-10 22:12:01 |只看该作者
2.10  独立

Nowadays, people are paying increasing attention on parent’s role in children education. Some people hold that children are too young to deal with all the work by themselves, thus parents should provide help or finish the work together. However, others hold that rather than being a helper, parent should act as a guide who provides proper guidance and encouragement to children. Personally speaking, I consider encouragement would be more useful for children in order to develop their ability to work and think independently.

First of all, completion of work is not the only purpose for children to deal with the task. Considering the work itself, most of the work is designed to develop certain abilities of the child. But parents’ help may hinder children from learning in the work since they would never confront any problems, which have already been solved by their parents. They would never recognize any required skills they lack of and need to be enhanced. Also, dependence on parents is created. Accustomed to their parents’ help, children would immediately turn to parents without thinking of solutions for the problems themselves and thus indolence and reliance are formed. In this case, children would easily get lost and feel nervous when working independently since they have already relied on someone who can help or at least accompany with them.

Second, instead of help, proper encouragement would be more beneficial for children’s development. On one hand, encouragement can act as the fuel to ignite children’s interests and enthusiasm to the work itself. They recognize why they need to do and what they can benefit from the work. Then they are more reluctant to make effort for the work instead of feeling forced to do something they may dislike. On other hand, encouragement helps to build children’s confidence as well as to lift up their courage to overcome difficulties they confronted in the work. From the processes of solving problems, not only certain abilities are enhanced but also sense of achievement is obtained. Children feel happy about receiving praises from parents and are willing to work hard for the next task. Encouragement enables them to feel satisfied and enjoy working independently.

In summary, parents should provide more guidance and encouragement to their children in order to develop their abilities and to avoid forming reliance on parents.

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美蓝
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5楼
发表于 2012-2-11 11:59:56 |只看该作者
已经改好了~~谢谢楼主的建议~~~
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sillyds
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6楼
发表于 2012-2-11 22:24:45 |只看该作者
2.11  独立

Comparing to elementary and high school teachers, university professors have more responsibilities, to both educate students and do academic research. But in some developing countries, achievement in academic research is the most important factor that accounts for the judgment of a university professor’s title. Thus there is a phenomenon that most university professors would rather spend more of their effort and time in doing research than in taking classes. This raises the public’s worry about the teaching quality of a university professor and debates about a university professor’s main role. If the answer is to be an instructor only, I don’t consider that the teaching quality can be improved since academic research is an essential part of student education. Therefore, I consider that both are equivalently important.


Admittedly, the over-emphasis on professors’ achievement in research may lower their recognition of importance of teaching students. But we should notice the fact that a good academic researcher is always a good instructor for these professors can often provide students more excellent chances to get involved in academic researches. Participation in academic research can enable students to put the theoretical knowledge they learn from classes into practice and deeper their understanding of certain knowledge. This is why most phd students are required to working with their instructors together to complete some academic research projects. Assisting with professors on academic research can improve students’ research abilities as well as lay a good foundation for their own research. In this case, we can not deny that research projects the university professors engaged in function as the extension part of classes.

Moreover, doing academic research is an effective way for university professors to improve their professional knowledge and skills as well as to keep updated with information in relevant fields. There are still many fields of science need to be explored and professors are an essential group of people who make great contribution to the development of science. It is undeniable that many professors are also scientists and keep themselves standing in the frontline of research. To do academic research, professors need to keep themselves known the newest theories in related fields and to communicate with other scientists or scholars. It helps professors expand their horizon in professional knowledge and improve their research. Through this process, a professor’s professional abilities can be improved. In addition, they can share or discuss with their students the new theory or their new understanding of certain issues in the classes. Sometimes professors can even get some inspiration from the discussion. Doing research is both beneficial for professors themselves and their students.

In conclusion, both an educator and a researcher are the most significant elements for a professor. Only combine the two roles together can a professor ensure the teaching quality as well as improve their professional abilities in related fields.

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idealibt
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7楼
发表于 2012-2-12 01:21:45 |只看该作者
谢谢你的修改意见啊，你的文章写的那真好啊，偶像！！！！！

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nadine1009
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8楼
发表于 2012-2-12 12:03:14 |只看该作者
前一位已经给改的没啥可挑剔了，我就说点儿总体感受。
行文非常流畅，用词很赞，结构思路都很好
但虽然你也写了例子，总感觉不够具体。议论的部分留一些把例子具体化细节化貌似更受老外稀罕~
额，我一共只写过两篇，没啥经验，说的不对你无视哈，欢迎把说的不对的地方告诉我啦~

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loveinwc
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9楼
发表于 2012-2-13 15:22:27 |只看该作者
虽然改晚了。。。。但是。。。。高人啊………………（抱大腿状

请万分拜托一定要回改我那陀渣渣啊啊啊~~~~~~~
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当里个当。

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sillyds
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10楼
发表于 2012-2-14 01:00:08 |只看该作者
2.13  独立

For every student, there must be some cases they confront problems or confuses in their schoolwork and need some help from others. And the person who provides the help can greatly affect how beneficial the help will be. Personally speaking, I would suggest my classmate to seek help from professional tutors, who are much more experienced. But the type of help needed for their schoolwork is also an important factor to be considered. Thus, we should first come to define standards to judge who is more suitable to provide the help.

Admittedly, help from peers can save much cost of tutoring and improve communication as well as friendship between my classmates and me. Also, students who only need help to solve some small and specific problems can resort to their classmates since others’ help is much more like discussions which provide them inspiration or expand their thinking. Such problems can be solved within a few minutes and students can quickly get the solutions. In this case, help from classmates are more immediately, efficient and moreover, may promote thinking of the problems and mutual progress for both. Just imagine if such kind of problems wait until the professional tutor comes and solves, students are probably have threw them on one side and then forgot them. Or many problems may be accumulated, which then retard the learning process.

However, for most cases, professional tutors are more suitable for students when considering the effectiveness of help. Most of the schoolwork problems can reflect some disadvantages in learning and such kind of problems are too general for a peer to solve. Suggestions provided by the peers are often merely according to their own situations which differ from individual to individual. In this case, only tutors with years of teaching experience can provide appropriate advices to improve the shortcomings such as to compensate the lack of knowledge. Advantages of professional tutors are obvious due to their experience and all-around perspective. Under guidance of a professional tutor, students can quickly find out the key of the problems and then focus on them without spending much time in getting round to try out the appropriate solutions.

Also, a professional tutor is much more knowledgeable and can help to solve schoolwork problem correctly. Peers are not able to solve every schoolwork problem. For example, if my classmates ask me about problems in geography, I would also get into confuses since I was not good at it. Also, asking help from other students is bothersome. It may waste others’ time to repeatedly teach something they have already known and even bother their study plans. Helps from classmates are not efficient for both parties.

In conclusion, an experienced and knowledgeable tutor would be much more helpful for a student. Despite the cost paid for a tutor, the effectiveness and time efficiency for solving schoolwork problems will worth the cost and benefits the student’s performance.

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nadine1009
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11楼
发表于 2012-2-14 09:36:16 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 nadine1009 于 2012-2-14 10:27 编辑

S大人！弄明白什么才是好文章之后我对你的崇拜直线上升！
请问您是怎么写出恰当得体、地道深刻的长句子的啊？还有您在思路展开时是怎么思考的呢？
我写出来的，又短又白话，停于表面，不深入...唉，请您指点一二！救救我这个作文还没入门的人....
感激万分！~T_T

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figuechen
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12楼
发表于 2012-2-14 20:00:19 |只看该作者
10# sillyds


来互改2.12独立了~

果然是大神级别的 - - 膜拜之词就略去。。附件里挑了两三个语法小毛病。。

文章本身结构无可指摘，有一个大让步，随后再两个正面的点跟上。唯一稍有欠缺之处在于第一个正面的点缺少一个具体的例子。我看的时候并不太明白什么问题是 too general for a peer to solve的。。略有牵强之意

还请LZ多多指正~
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sillyds
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13楼
发表于 2012-2-14 22:06:31 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 sillyds 于 2012-2-14 22:16 编辑

2.14 独立

The fast development of technology enables people to do what they have never imagined before. Despite the great convenience brought to people’s life, solutions of many social problems have been found for these advancements have pushed the social progress. At the same time, people began to consider whether fast development of science and society can help them to solve the most significant problems within their lifetime. As far as I am concerned, it’s impossible to solve all these problems within such a relatively short period.

To begin with, many problems affecting the society are too complicated and internally connected with problems in many fields. In this case, to solve problems like this is a long process which needs to find solutions for the relevant problems together. The technology and social development could only act as a catalyst which to some extent accelerate the process, but are unable to fundamentally shorten the long process. Regarding the sophisticated nature of problems affecting our society, I don’t consider they can be completely solved within our lifetime. Take the problem of large gaps between the rich and the poor. Development of technology has promoted economic boom and also extend the gap which is mainly due to imperfection of the social system. And the reform of the social system needs continual effort paid by generation after generation. In this case, it’s too short a period to eliminate the gap in one generation. Also, the reform would affect people’s life from every aspect. People need a relative long period to prepare for and adapt to the changes brought by reform and then to take some measures to help to push the reform.

Secondly, the development of society and technology continually change and produce new problems which are significantly affecting people’s life. Having solved the old problems, other new problems may occur. The invention of plastic had brought great changes to the society. It led the industry into a new era and various kinds of goods made of this new material had been produced. It helped to solve many problems in the process of industry development but now raises the problem of environmental pollution. It is impractical to solve all of the most important problems for their continual change and occurrence.

In conclusion, considering the characteristics of these problems, we should recognize that only some of the solutions can be found within the lifetime for the most important problems, which need a long process of development to solve.

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baxiacandy
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14楼
发表于 2012-2-15 20:23:13 |只看该作者
2.13 独立作文
LZ文章句子写得很好，也没语法错误
而且，我水平有限，不管是句式还是论述方面，都太菜了，说没资格给楼主改~
不好意思，这两天上班有点忙，没来得及改，见谅

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sillyds
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15楼
发表于 2012-2-16 22:44:13 |只看该作者
2.15  独立

People hold different opinions toward same issues and view them from different perspectives. Thus, there must be some approval and criticism in team discussions. But the problem of how to view criticism in a team has raised heated discussion among people. Some people worry that to blindly accept criticism from others may hide some good ideas while others hold that in most situations, criticism promotes progress. Personally speaking, I consider that to accept others’ criticism wisely is beneficial to success of both the person and the team.


Admittedly, some good ideas may be neglected or hindered to be expressed if one is afraid of and blindly accept criticism. Just imagine a situation that you discover a significant flaw in a popular business plan. Then you propose another compensation plan which most of your team members criticize about. Having yielded to the criticism, you give up the new plan and leave your team in the potential dangers of failure in running the business. In this case, it is unwise to accept criticism and your insistence can save your team from the lost. In order to avoid negative effects caused by group thinking, we should take a careful consideration before accept others’ criticism.

However, for most cases, criticism helps to perfect the plans or methods to complete different tasks of the team. It is criticism that urges people to reconsider and improve the business plans. Only when the criticism exists can the discussion become meaningful. During the discussion, team members get together to analyze the pros and cons of a proposal and thus recognize disadvantages of the proposal. In this case, criticism provides people inspiration and promotes thinking from new perspective. Therefore, to accept criticism is to absorb advantages from others’ opinions to perfect the plans and enhance one’s contribution and fame in a team.

Furthermore, to accept criticism is a matter of attitude. An appropriate attitude towards criticism can reflect one’s courage to face mistakes. To bravely admit and deal with mistakes, a person can learn from mistakes and make continual progress. It is a necessary process for one’s growing up to become successful. Also, a good attitude towards others’ criticism can promote cooperation of a team. Just imagine that one of your team members is always angry about or ignore others’ suggestive criticism. This would make other team members feel annoyed and are unwilling to provide any suggestions again. It destroys the team’s cooperation atmosphere and thus negatively affected its working performance. Also, the person’s bad attitude towards criticism does no good to his fame and relationships with others. Therefore, learning to wisely accept others’ criticism can show your respect to others and enable you to build a good impression.

In conclusion, to achieve success in a team, people should maintain good attitude towards criticism and wisely accept them for the purpose of absorbing advantages and seeking improvement.

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McMaster University
systems & tech
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Glasgow School of Art
transformation design
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Royal College of Art
innovation design engineering
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The Hong Kong Polytechnic University
MABCC
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