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[i习作temp] ISSUE13 [REBORN FROM THE ASHES] TASK ONE by正常点--有拍必回哦！ [复制链接]

zhengchangdian
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2009-12-10 00:31:06 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 zhengchangdian 于 2009-12-12 17:55 编辑

Issue 13
Many of the world’s lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.

Would one remains unmoved at the sight of a Jewry mother singing her baby to sleep in Russian and dissolving into tears? There’s always a contradiction between the desire to preserve and the determination to let things drift when it comes to the disappearing languages. I cannot quiet agree with the speaker concerning the issue of requiring the governments to check the lesser-known languages from dying out.

Most social scientists stand on the point that it is an inescapable responsibility to protect the lesser-known languages from endangered situation. Undoubtedly, language is one of the most convincing records of the way a culture comes into being. As a method to communicate with others, it provides the people with the opportunity to convey their emotions and identify their cultural group. In other words, if a language really dies out, the inevitable misunderstanding and the absolute ignorance of history is around the corner. Not only entangles the group in a dilemma of racial identification, the linguistic disappearance also serves as a prelude of cultural invasion. To illustrate this point clearly, it is necessary to trace back to the history. When Japan occupied China during World War II, they compelled native speakers to learn Japanese and set it as the only official language. If only the native speakers had abandoned their mother tongue, the influence of Japanese colonialism would destroy the nation gradually. What’s more, to protect the diversity of languages shares much in common with to preserve the diversity of endangered species. As the rapid technology development changes the world, both the original species and the ancient culture are facing an unprecedented plight of extinction. Given the aim of preserve the most possibilities for unknown future, it is considered that to sustain the variety is much wiser than to eliminate.

However, it is the course of the nature that determines the inevitable extermination of some languages. To begin with, the reasons why these languages are abandoned are various. On the surface, most of the deserted languages are not practical, especially for their pronunciations are too difficult and the words have to be combined within numerous restrictions. No one would like to pay more attention to these trivial limits in communication. But the language relinquishment should attribute to the globalization essentially. The free trade, free flow of capital and cheaper foreign labor markets are the symbols of increasingly integrated global economy, which requires no boundary between nations in some degree. In this circumstance, the ability to communicate without misunderstanding plays such an important role that some lesser known or spoken languages are obliterated from sight gradually. Of course, the desire to follow the popular trend paves the way for the extinction as well. In the process of pursuing the fashion, the younger generation always abandons the banal language without hesitation and applies the popular one to their daily life. Thus, no one is capable of stemming back the pace of linguistic dissolution under the universal law.

In fact, the language extinction is the healthy consequence of maintaining the linguistic diversity. To illustrate this point of view clearly, here’s a convincing example. In consideration of the salad bowl pattern, mankind speaks the unified language when getting together, while speaking their favorite languages when they are at home. For instance, the Jewry living in Shtetls speak Yiddish at home, while they speak Russian outside their country. The reason why they become bilingual speakers is not their fondness, but rather the racial segregation they are suffering from. Factually, the existence of various languages means the segregation of mankind in some degree, which originates from the inequality in society. Ironically, this circumstance betrays the original intention of linguistic diversity renaissance supporters. Or put it another way, the positive outcome of language variety is disappearance of some lesser known languages.

In conclusion, there is no necessity to demand the government or any other organizations to protect the endangered languages from the edge of disappearance. After all, no one would like to live in a “salad bowl” society based on the inequality.

ASHES, 第二次作业

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zhengchangdian
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沙发

发表于 2009-12-10 00:36:16 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 zhengchangdian 于 2009-12-10 15:29 编辑

第一次把习作发上来，希望各位路过的能够留个言哈:loveliness:
有拍必回哦:victory:

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板凳

发表于 2009-12-10 00:40:43 |只看该作者

补充一下偶的提纲：
Issue 13
Many of the world’s lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct.

V1. Most social scientists stand on the point that it is an inescapable responsibility to protect the lesser-known languages from endangered situation.

V2. However, it is the course of nature that determines the inevitable extinction of some languages.

V3. In fact, the language extinction is the healthy consequence of maintaining the linguistic diversity.

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地板

发表于 2009-12-12 17:56:15 |只看该作者

自己顶一下:lol

回归寄托，我最爱的最爱的乐土！
向着荷兰进发！

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5楼

发表于 2009-12-14 21:48:20 |只看该作者

:lol

回归寄托，我最爱的最爱的乐土！
向着荷兰进发！

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Maci.
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6楼

发表于 2010-1-9 14:14:03 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 Maci. 于 2010-1-9 14:35 编辑

红色不妥之处，烦请注意
深蓝色有异议，请容禀
绿色小小建议，不成敬意
橘色赞漂亮，赞妙哉
紫色拙见些许，仅供参考

Would one remains unmoved at the sight of a Jewry mother singing her baby to sleep in Russian and dissolving into tears? [这句话写的有点诡异啊。。。唱歌而已，有这么夸张么？会突然掉眼泪？来的太突然。。] There’s always a contradiction between the desire to preserve and the determination to let things drift when it comes to the disappearing languages.[always?这个说法应该是你自己的观点，但是我觉得表述的还不是很恰当，倒不如说是“与时俱进”和“传统延续”直接的摩擦更好] I cannot quiet agree with the speaker concerning the issue of requiring the governments to check the lesser-known languages from dying out. [我觉得这句表述有点问题，Issue后面跟of，应该是在描述这个Issue的具体内容，而我觉得楼主的意思是说，支持作者倡议政府来解决这个问题。]

个人觉得这个开头并不成功
也没有起到一个很好的背景介绍
或者说抛砖引玉的作用

对于楼主的语言表达，我存在一些异议
觉得不是很恰当
可以在斟酌一下嘿嘿

建议楼主在开始写作文之前
可以先看一下范文特别是Intro中给出的4分、5分、6分的作文
看看文章的独特之处从中汲取好的经验
平时多多读文章吧要注意文章的表达

胸有城府宛若天真

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7楼

发表于 2010-1-9 14:35:05 |只看该作者

Most social scientists [说的是小语种的保护问题，倒不如直接说语言学家不是更好？] stand on the point [不如直接用point更简洁] that it is an inescapable responsibility to protect the lesser-known languages from endangered situation [同样的问题，不如直接说being endangered更简洁，而且这里这样写更符合表述习惯吧]. Undoubtedly, language is one of the most convincing [怎么个convincing法？建议：后面从句的内容就可以好好的利用起来，解释这个convincing以证明语言的重要性] records of the way [累赘，去掉] a culture comes into being [这里应该算是语法错误吧，一个句子里两套主谓宾？后面应该改成从句，自己修改一下吧]. As a method to communicate with others, it provides the [去掉] people with the opportunity to convey their emotions[感情？感情出了语言表达意外，还可以通过人的表情表现出来吧。何不说传达人们的观点或者想法之类的？] and identify their cultural group [我觉得这里倒不如说，可以体现cultural identity]. In other words, if a language really dies out, the inevitable misunderstanding and the absolute ignorance of history is around the corner. Not only entangles the group in a dilemma of racial identification [identity], the linguistic disappearance also serves as a prelude of cultural invasion. To illustrate this point clearly, it is necessary to trace back to the history. When Japan occupied China during World War II, they compelled native speakers to learn Japanese and set it as the only official language. If only the native speakers had abandoned their mother tongue, the influence of Japanese colonialism would destroy the nation gradually. What’s more, to protect the diversity of languages shares much in common with to preserve the diversity of endangered species.语法问题，建议再看看修改一下。 As the rapid technology development changes the world, both the original species and the ancient culture are facing an unprecedented plight of extinction. Given the aim of preserve the most possibilities for unknown future, it is considered that to sustain the variety is much wiser than to eliminate.

重点是lesser-known languages。
后面的我没有细看的。
重点是小语种，日语和中文都不算是吧？
这个例子不当。

不少说法都不够贴切。
文化入侵？
到底怎样的算是入侵呢？
很多小语种是因为语种的拥有人群很少甚至最后一个人也离开人世，这样不算是入侵吧？
科技发达，与original species有啥关系？
或许后者会受益前者呢？