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四、GRE作文的结构性(第二性)
很多考生都有这样的深刻体会,从开始写作文到最后基本入门,总是被一条条无形的“规则”或“套路”把持着,写得多了之后自己看着也难受,苍白无力。而且,要突破这些往往变得不现实,因为有太多的东西失去了她的维系之后,便恍然像断了线的风筝,越飘越远。现在市面上包括广大考生手里视为“至宝”的书(主要是我刚才一开始品评过的那些),其实都是把大家的思路框在一个狭窄的笼子里,题目一来,就鸡、鸭、兔分分类,关到特定的笼子里,然后塞点修饰,就算完成。无可否认,对于很多考生来说,靠这些能够保证一定程度的“高分”无可厚非,但是就写作宗旨而言是极其“反动”的,许多培训机构讲义及书籍上列出的提纲,“闪光句”,模板,都是导致今天许许多多考生作文雷同的根源,且直接需为他们思维的“僵化”负全责。大量的不经过仔细思索和推敲便背诵大量模式化的开头,正文及结尾套路既费时又收效不尽人意,是时候该丢掉那些所谓的“权威”论断,重新思索一下作文的“结构性”对策了。那么,我们先解决这样一个前提:作文要不要套路?要,一定要!所谓“不成规矩,无以成方圆”,作文的章法套路是一篇文章成功的保障。与前面论述的不同,我这里要提出的“章法”不在于“形”,而在于“神”。说的挺玄,是不?看下去就明白了。
1.ISSUE结构性指导
ISSUE是种开放性话题,涉及的题材多样及覆盖面广是GRE作文的一个特色,而正是这点使得整体的“万能套路”往往穿戴得极其勉强,于是我们可以分类处之。分类流行的有两种,一种是按题材分,可以分为11大类(作者主张“飞跃”分类):学习,科技,历史,传媒,文化,国际,教育,社会,政治,行为,艺术。这种分类旨在让你按照题材去阅读背诵相应的文章或资料来扩充论据,严密论证过程,但是就这里要谈的套路结构而言,没有任何实质性的帮助。于是我推崇第二种分类,话题拟制类型分类,可以分为极其简单粗糙的3类:should, which one, single。我着重要分析入手的就是这三类题型的写作“套路”。在这之前,首先提出两个前提:第一,本文完全赞成“五段式”作文,即正文保持“3段”,故模式也是“3段论法”;第二,开头结尾统一自由化。开头的作用就是点题和正确回应,是告诉阅卷人切题的宣言,所以保险的开头往往比较固定,有三种常见模式:
(1)开门见山:直接回应话题观点,表明态度
(2)谈古论今:从古代到现代来引出话题内容
(3)故做深沉:间接涉及相关话题内容,一步一步引出自己的观点态度。这种开头往往被诸多考生所采用,但是由于一上来就没有直接回应,使得写到后来,原来的话题内容很容易被遗忘而陶醉在自我新构建的话题之中,造成“跑题”。
因此,议论文中,开门见山永远是“首选”,最忌讳的就是许多考生自以为要“推陈出新”,而盲目创新,结果表现出连基本的写作常识都没有,只有从基本练起,才能逐步创新,切记!
而结尾的任务与模式也基本有两条:
(1)总结上文自己与话题的观点,勾勒全文论证概貌。
(2)提出尚待履行的措施,建议等,并点描这样的后果。
但是,结尾的失误也不在少数,主要是大多数考生有结尾的“意识”,却没有结尾的认识,为作结论而作结论,勉强地作结论,即将重点内容重复一遍就算做结论。我们说,结论在精神、内容和观点上应该与前文论述一致,然而不能是简单的重复,应该至少有以下两点区别:
(1)结论部分提出的内容比前面的主体论述更具体、实在。
(2)为了给读者留下深刻的印象,应将最精辟、美妙的词汇、句段等留到结论处。
如此,开头与结尾可以有意识地往这些思路靠去,渐渐就会形成自己独特的模式而使自己的“首尾”部分变得有“个性”。下面我们重点分类探讨上面3种正文模式:
(1) SHOULD类:题干中明确出示标志词“should”或意为“应该”如何如何的话题。比如:
214."Society should identify those children who have special talents and abilities and begin training them at an early age so that they can eventually excel in their areas of ability. Otherwise, these talents are likely to remain undeveloped."
Should类话题一般都是采取“赞成”或“反对”,很少要“中和”的,因而基本的“套路”相当简单:1、阐述自己如此认为的基本理由;2、如果自己的观点正确,那么有什么良好的后果;3、这样做同时要注意的某些问题(或者可能带来的副作用)。下面就以上题附以范文说明:
(范文)
There are some children do indeed have some gift perhaps cannot be made sense properly by scientists and educators aggregating around ourselves and needing some special care especially for their cultivation regarding the education process. Some experts ever declared against separating the talented children from the ordinary group after quite a substantial cogitation involving the impact of such seclusion, the influence exerted on their germinal heart, and the probable arrogance may it produce lacerate their later lives. However, weighing the benefits of the special care, I am apt to support the idea of providing special education to those who embrace great potentials on some subjects like arts, music, and natural science, in moral principles.
What impels and shocks me most onto such suggestion is the great waste reported thousands of times on journals and television media, which almost every time took place under the background of the innate special children performing exceptionally the first year staying with the ordinary packs but when came the graduation ceremony as far as the rear of the arrangement of transcripts he may stands, who, somebody ultimately scorned as, was a“mediocre”man. That should be, in my thought, the greatest blasphemy to these gifted children, who ought to be showed adequate respect and attention far different from other scanty of these brilliance. Most of them would surely be aggrieved just in that they step by step follow what the teacher told and instructed they lost the precious self-probity opportunities and make themselves awash under the surface of the ordinary and the banal. On the contrary, another report recently seen from yesterday's evening paper now come into my memory is an elated story about a poor boy who was imbued with the supernal talent of playing violin was disinterred from the poor district by an experienced professor and then he was taken to the college for free and given the special face-to-face personally instruction from the best maestro group. With the auspicious chance, finally he now has grown up as a shining star above the music territory. All of these, albeit may still not enough to make any authoritative assertion, can to some extent reflect the fresh fact that the potential covered under the soul stone of our cherubic talented children are somewhat like the natural fuel source, once exhumed in the sun, it can produce astounding power but while keeping it dormant, no good but a dead wish of the god.
Taken some experiment schools adopting such children for instance, the splendid records elucidate nothing but the beneficial recommendation. In China, the famous“teenage class”constituted inside the eminent Chinese Scientific Technology University founded in Anhui province have cultivated hundreds of prodigies to be the pundits of what they excel in. As well known to the world, most of the gold medals of the Mathematic Olympic Games and other similar scientific tournaments are obtained by our Chinese teenage prodigies derived from this class. Also, quit a few top academician of the national scientific institution are the graduates of it, the immense function can be evinced from this academician's speech,”I gained what I am looking for and the priceless courage of fumbling in the dark here, the tribute complemented to my talent and the honor paid off back to my gift refinery.”
Meanwhile, we should take care of the well-rounded education towards those gifted children avoiding the formation of the ill and biased personality. Special educations do mean some extent to distinguish from the ordinary routine but do not necessarily cut down the communication with the ordinary world we confront with every breath. Even the best technicians should also be the good civilian of the community, no exclusive person can survive longer and normally no matter how intelligent he or she is, the reason is so simple that once deprived of the opportunity of communication no exchange of emotional feels and academic ideas will consequently take place, which is essential for the sense of alive. Hence, possibly more important to appeal people's approbation, the normal channel for communication should not be barricaded by human's deliberately benevolent actions.
In sum, the phenomenon of the treatments to these gifted children is such a controversial one that certainly some of us, of course, might still cast some doubt on my analysis, but at least what I discussed above to some degree shake the adamantly held reverse belief, which is one of my main purposes writing such a frank issue. The other one is something naïve that I hope more and more experts should excise to discern the talented ones and emancipate them out of the tragic drop, just because every one should share the same sense that they are no doubt the unique resources the God bestowed to us and once missed no measure can be compensated for the huge loss, left only silent cries. (809 words)
评析:范文采用“故做深沉”的开头方式,从社会上某些专家的争议引出话题,并在首段末作出明确回应,从而确保切题,值得考生引以为鉴。紧接着作者按上述“三段论”模式一一就“理由”、“后果”与“问题”采取不同方式的论证来实现,从而使文章在结构上呈现出多元化和周到性,给阅卷人一种“坚不可摧”的震慑力,保证了论证的严密和条理。同时,本文的“因果论证”和“事例论证”也是堪称一绝的,读者可以反复体会一下如何实现多方位,多角度的论证手段来加固自己的长城。
(2) WHICH ONE类:题干中明确要求考生做“二选一”的选择,比如:
99."In any realm of life—whether academic, social, business, or political-the only way to succeed is to take a practical, rather than an idealistic point of view. Pragmatic behavior guarantees survival, whereas idealistic views tend to be superceded by simpler, more immediate options."
由于是“二选一”,因而作文者有三种回应倾向:选A,选B或A,B中和。那么我们可以提炼出两种基本模式:
1、单选:1、选A(或B)的基本理由;2、选A的好处;3、相较之A,选B有什么坏处。
2、双选:1、选A的基本理由和好处;2、选B的基本理由和好处;3、A和B同时兼备的好处。
由于GRE作文开放式的话题,很少有东西“全坏”或“全好”,所以奉劝考生尽量学会使用“双选”模式,但是有志于“创新”的同学可以尝试用“单选”,它往往让你的作文“另类而出彩”,前面已有范文作过示范,请予以参照。下面的范文选用重点掌握的“双选”模式,读者注意其论证构思的过程。
(范文)
As one of the famous philosophers ever writes,“the dream leads our sights toward the future, and the practice make our sense recognize how far away we still have to strive for.”During the recent decades, experts gradually have been divided into two opposite cults respectively holds their own belief of idealism and empiricism, and through thousands of fervid controversies the latter seems having dominated the optimal status after showing the corroborative evidence stems from the practical exemplar in the process of society constructions. But, in my point of view, in this practical and competitive world, being practical is essential to one's survival, yet ideals give us a direction in our pursuit of success.
We can with no difficulty to find out the obvious fact that any human undertaking irrespective of the hard facts and rules of reality is destined to failure. Under the nib of Cervantes,the well known Spanish fiction writer, we clearly see the antic portrait of an eccentric man named Don Quixote equipped with mid-aged sword and lance just like a cavalier following by his allegiant servant. Severe fantasy of warfare separated from the bucolic reality drives him to the desirous aspiration to shape himself to be a hero, which ultimately catalyzes his ingenuous thoughts into the abysmal hallucination that cannot be dispelled by anything directly results in his tragedy. The similar case also can be found in the early time of last century, when the efficient use of energy has been evolved to the most popular issue and its immense profits prospect incites thousands of top scientists devoted their life-long research into the study of“permanent mobile machine”, something that once being given even a minor ignorable energy can it operate eternally to produce endless energy as feedback, which at last after a long-range frustrated trials scientists find immediately contradicts the energy-permanence law, the natural principles applied to any existence in the world. Having realized the source of the failure, more attention should be threw onto the disciplines of action that focus on the conditional reality.
However, ideals give us hope and enthusiasm, lifting us to new heights and helping us to overcome self-imposed limitations. Today, most of the nations who embrace the world's most sophisticated scientific technology ought to, in a sense, thank for the scientifically idealistic writers' sharing their affluent wisdom and imagination with the vast populace. The super-acoustic airplanes, the man-seated spaceship, and the artificial intelligence now all steps out of the exotic episodes of fictions into our everyday life, in that inspirations themselves cannot automatically drop off from the empyrean but be quarried from the deep soul of everyone, not just only the scientists because that's the common obligation for all members of community who are equal to them at this point of exploration. Scientists' contribution lies with the gift that using those descriptive originally materials in their efforts in trying to put them into actuality. Without the idealistic raw materials given by our writers or even ordinary citizens, I believe that even though we had much more experienced scientists no break-neck innovations would be worked out abruptly change every facets of human life.
Since the both paths surely in certain directions overlap, the theory castle filled with a person or a nation can be both idealistic and pragmatic at the same time is thus surrounded by the untenable fosse. As a student, as soon as the beginning day of the semester my tutor always inculcate the pedagogy to me that any successful student should establish a further progress goal according to his or her own actual situation then you will know where you are intended to go and how much you have to go through for this attainment, as a typical case in point.
In sum, idealism and pragmatism cannot be arbitrarily secluded as absolute contrary but indeed the seemly explicit boundary between them is somewhat flexible rather than unutterably rigid. The most effective measure we should take in our practical action is then taking the former as the fundamental blueprint while the latter as the conditional base on which the former design can fulfill. (685 words)
(3) SINGLE类:单一结论类,或者顶多后面附加背景或原因,让考生自己定夺的话题。这类是ISSUE最多最难的题,而且在这里没有上述那么简单可行的模式可以“僵硬”的套用,可以说这类文章才是考验你思辩能力的东西。那么,是不是对于这种类型就无计可施,只能死背提纲?不绝对是,笔者自己潜心领悟练笔及与参详诸“前辈”的真经,发现尽管到了最高境界,是“无招胜有招”,但是容易上手的潜在规律还是有的,总结下来,有以下三种:
1、方方面面式:分别就时空,地域或文明领域选3个不同性质的方面配合事例论证来实现。具体如何实现笔者提供一篇范文供读者参考:
4."No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
(范文)
Nowadays quite a lot colleges and universities have designed some humanistic curriculum providing as something compulsory to the scientific major students while to the literary major also a modest quantity of scientific courses have been given in order to balance the proportion of both knowledge ken. It certainly symbols a sign that different academic disciplines are gradually coming to across and the billow of the information currents is now blushing the explicit boundaries separating the major confluence, making them more and more ambiguous and impel them into the position of interrelated in that the knowledge of one field can sometimes shed beams of twilight on the studies of other fields.
As what is now more popular and acceptable by many successful entrepreneurs, the fresh idea of borrowing the dealing methods from mathematics to compensate the drawbacks of the traditional evaluation approaches used in the field of economy is displaying a unique glamorous charisma. For instance, ancient merchants nearly always had the headache to cope with the data treatment, which can help them to make clearly the trend of the offer-need relationship instructing them to adjust the weight of this relationship into approximately balanced avoiding the loss of the largely instilled investment. Obviously primitive arithmetical approaches like simple counting, enumerating, or assorted fundamental calculation including the plus, minus, multiply and divide must be far not enough, they were eager to conduce to a new convenient weapon specially trenchant to tamp this gap, so the quantitative methods accordingly born to dislodge the stranded commercial ship owing to generations of endless trials. Today's shrewd businessmen can easily deal with these problems just constitute a data repository in their own computers installed with the powerful exploited quantitative procedure software, no sooner do they enter the fluctuated data into the storehouse than a mobile accurate diagram immediately folded out in front of your sight, transforming with the change pace of the economy heart, surely the glamour of the collaboration of the two fields is.
If literary critics intend to put up a bulletin filled with some abstruse theory with their own unique clairvoyance, the principles of philosophy accumulated through several centuries are the best things they should consider to resort to further their study domain. As a famous American literary critic ever wrote in his latest book“Literature against Philosophy”, that both the subjects here concerned acts the roles of the brothers share in some common like the features of genes and attitudes towards outer evaluations, yet fight each other for the predominance of his own thinking rules in that the existence of the common and concordance mentioned above. Many literary works inevitable dips into the field of philosophy in the form of further exploring the deep ground of the hero or heroine's heart by depicting the countenance or the behavior deriving from his or her natural revelation, one of the eminent examples is the Mary Shelley's appealing fiction "Frankenstein", the adept almost near the surface of perfect description and metaphorical expression fixed thousands of reader's eyes and souls onto the monster's fate and the hero's imminent manic psyche, the philosophical analysis told us how it produces so hallucinating effect and weird atmosphere.
By the way, when biology and chemistry met, biochemistry came into being as a strong hybrid of the two independent parents. One of my best friends happens to be an excellent graduates major in bio-pharmacology, who once told me before entering the total systematic study of this newborn popular course, he must prepare the rationales of chemistry indispensable and necessary in later research assignments. After the collection of the blood samples, we should certainly not directly put them under the micro-instruments to observe and then make out the papers about analysis of the results, as a prerequisite our researchers have to import some chemical reagents as an additive instilling into the specimens to function with the blood ingredients, only after the process can we take them into analysis. Without the chemistry, biology is just a pond of backwater and vice versa, any bio-chemical scholar ought to taste the exceptional favor.
So much have been discussed in details covering three particular domains, in a sense, illustrates the interrelationship is the guarantee of the breakthrough of some certain academic topics, possibly in some special circumstances can also be generalized to a more broaden range. No field after all, I believe, can survive well surrounded by the asphyxiating academic buttress; the only escape is breaking it from outside. (744 words)
点评:范文分别就经济、文学及自然科学3个不同领域展开论证,实现了有效而全面的论证。
2、层层深入式:首先树立起自己论证的对象,然后通过论证手段披露对象的特点,最后进行全面进攻。请参考以下范文:
161."In this age of intensive media coverage, it is no longer possible for a society to regard any woman or man as a hero. The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished."
(范文)
Hero, the elites of our human groups, are all time alive in any level of social stages. But, following the break-neck development of various fields of technology, a serial of problems accordingly come to bog us, one of them is the exclamation of the phenomenon-dilution of the concept "hero". As what is asserted at top line, heroes are not vacant at any time, so what's the root of this dramatic fact? Media, the media; just as a result of this modern product exorcises the long inherited convention of hero idolization.
In our childhood, what we most like to hear about is the splendid experiences of our famous predecessors, like George Washington, the primary president of United States, who also contributes large amount out of assessment to the final independence of the nation. Almost hardly to remember how many times having acclaimed for this or that miracle in his war life, and the ambition illuminated from his encouraging stories, we still, however, remain the tepid admiration even until today. While, let us have a look at today's conditions, heroes have been drawn by huge piles of information garbage, and the real ones deserved our fervid accolade even finally loses his favor by the collision of fashionable value-evaluate trend, such as the currents of idolization towards those film stars.
No deniably, the unique price of hero is now decrying, which never can be evaluated at the same scale as ever before, owing to the overwhelming power to concoct crowds of meretricious "heroes" by media. Information, the fundamental source of people have to every day rely on, is the major products like other commodities of the media corporation; then as a result, the quality and reality extent is wholly mastered under the control of the media propaganda, so long as the publication is strong enough, even sun can someday legitimately rise from the west horizon. How can citizens tolerate such rules of operation to be compliant to these absurd tricks and consequently become their allegiant followers?
And taking the instance of those who really could be responsible for the entitled appellation of "hero", due to the overexposure of nearly each dimension of their lives (such as privacy, ordinary schedule, the sum of his property, so on and so forth), no singularity can he or she gives to us to enable us to respect them at all. Most of our primordial respects stems from the presumption of their particularity or characteristics, which always occluded to public as an abstruse mystery, but once the born of media and the authorization for it to freely reveal every corner of everything, the mysterious ages are destined to not drive back again. Just like awakening from a sweet dream, people will find the hero idolized so many years is merely a person too ordinary to be absolutely discriminated from we these similarly ordinary ones. And with the disappearance of these veiled dreams, "hero" eternally eludes into the history of past.
From the principles of natural laws, not a single type of species can be originated as personal will, nor with the extinction of certain phylum, while the media is trying their best to challenge against these "gold laws" to evince his revolutionary magic. Nevertheless, real hero will never miss his merited title of hero if he equips the quality, I always believe, no matter what is he under the embellishment of the magical media and how lonely he might taste. (572 words)
点评:该模式关键在于有心逐步深入的披露,从表及里,一波强过一波,在“反对”中用的比较普遍。
3、因果论证式:首先说明对象造成的一个原因,然后引出对于现实生活中的影响和作用,最后对上述论证进行加固或者补充(对于论证中的可能漏洞进行弥补)。同样我们用范文向大家示范:
235."Most people are taught that loyalty is a virtue. But loyalty whether to one's friends, to one's school or place of employment, or to any institution is all too often a destructive rather than a positive force."
(范文)
Once I participated a speech given by a famous local entrepreneur, who rose from exactly bare hands. The word brands me most is "loyalty", the very one we hardly dabble and almost reaches the edge of oblivion but instead no negligence is deserve. How can this concept bridge the relation with the huge lope of his life? Loyalty makes one stick to a goal without any fickleness until achievement, which has won a lot much for him including friendship, dependability and love. Ironically, today's people is becoming more and more "sagacious" to plan for themselves better, holding the principles of choosing best, moving fastest, and snatching most; in other words, loyalty is degenerated into a totem of stubborn stereotype inadaptable for the society of profits first.
Is that modern theory "true"? And what about the success of that admiring entrepreneur? Something people primarily should understand is the indispensability of credence active among human community for the perpetuity of humanistic relationship, which to a large extent stems from this loyalty. No exaggeration I have made to emphasize its paramount function to personal survival, either from the fable or history we can learn the lesson. But now I would like to continue to elicit the example of that manager upstairs. When he is still an employee working for this consult company (before he climbed up to the top rung of the company committee), there was a huge recession leading to a total profits declination in this operating domain, in the end results almost all elites of the company to make a job exchange except him. His persistent determination was for nothing but loyalty, of his indebtedness form his boss, of his enamored undertaking tolerating for no intermittence, of his adherence to goal successful for sure. And fact tells us everything, as each audience can see, he did.
Not only to individual the quality of loyalty can push one into the acme of his career following with winsome reputation, but also to community the crucial pillar to support the sculpture of serenity goddess. Once separated from the loyalty, credence also accordingly right away being crushed under the wheels of history cart, and then the concomitant condition can be imagined as this: various associations would be certainly collapsed under the circumstance deprived of dependability, each one discredits the motive of action from anyone else, talking is evolved into a serial of satirical assaults, compassion sounds more like a snicker, and ultimately ineluctably the human society is degraded into a state of depravity. Is this the community we each of us want to live in? Is this the situation we each of us want to make realized? If your answer is negative-just like mine-then please retrospect your conscience to retrieve this precious virtue of "loyalty".
While the merits of loyalty have been corroborated here so strongly, admittedly, however, loyalty applied only to the legitimate partner or purpose, not involves the malign ones, somehow or other the effect will surely arrive at the surprising reverse. For instance, from the point of penal law, excluding the major miscreants who abet the underlings to commit guilt, the adherent to follow his felony, even if he never directly join in the crime doing on the spot, but as a result of his ancillary work, he should also assume a certain quantity of the great responsibility, which might mean him a ferocity of being disenfranchised, or at the same time to enjoy his later few years' prime time in the jail. The tragedy is so natural for most of us that admonishing clock is being struck; the high time for us to wake up from the sequacious loyalty is coming.
Overall, the virtue of loyalty is one of the fundamental factor heading for our prosperous tomorrow, despite its contain of some potential stygian side effect turning to the malicious dimension, yet no doubt it deserves to be advocated to learn for the brace of the beneficial development of both single person and gross society. Like the rationale of any medicine we take normally, no one of us will stop to ingest pills of penicillin just because its possible allergy to some particular patients, after all its application and efficacy is indelible. (700 words)
点评:这篇文章二段直接阐述原因,三段论述必要性,四段对其中的例外进行弥补,客观地指出非通用性,从而保证了全文强大的说服力
[ 本帖最后由 zhangheng1020 于 2006-1-16 19:53 编辑 ] |
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