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lihaocookie
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电梯直达

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发表于 2008-8-19 19:31:59 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

People work because they need money to live. What are some other reasons that people work? Discuss one or more of these reasons. Use specific examples and details to support your answer.

When asked what do we work for, most people will response with the answer that to earn money to support families. If thinking over this issue profoundly, it is easy to find there are many other more important reasons for us to work. In fact, we unconciousely show personal merits to society, get more chances communicating with people etc.when we are at work. I will explain this as follows.

To begin with, working is an main way to achieve one' social merits.People, as members of the society, always chooses to work because they are willing to find their social values while working,among lots of divergent ways contributing to the society,is a common one to achieve these velues. During working, people somehow take part in the process of improvement, making themselves adjuncts of whole social machine. For instance, constructors show their merits by grant buildings; instructors demonstrate their values through excellent graduates; and writers, use productions to prove themselves.

In addition to achieving one' social merits, people may choose to work in an effort to improve their competence and cooperative spirits. During working, everyone want to be at the top, and regard colleges as rival. In this way, it is easier and more natural to improve themselves. What is more, most works need to finish by numbers of team members cooperating. A typical example is that when constructing a building, engineers majoring in quite different areas must work together to make the whole work wonderful. In these works, People will cultivate a precious quality---team work spirit, which is essential in modern society.

Last, but not the least, through working, people could expand their circle. Not only in their own company, also in the cooperative institution, they may find friends with same interest, such as aports, music or something else. Lots of friends make people' lives more convenient; for exampe, friends on different area will let you out of trouble from various problems.

Although money from work, the basis of our material for life and family, is important, it is never the only reason that people work. As members of the big social family, people will happy to work for lots of different reasons like mentioned above.

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Rosebudcn
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沙发

发表于 2008-8-20 16:13:36 |只看该作者

回复 #1 lihaocookie 的帖子

语言没问题，论证方面要加强~~~
第一个分论点实现个人的社会价值太大，而且抽象，如能说成为了实现career aim之类的，更实际也更好理解
另外论证感觉比较宽泛，缺乏比较有力的观点或例子
比如最后一个论点，可以举例说有些人很有钱，不需要工作，但仍然照常上班，就是为了保持一定的生活圈子
有些词语不太准确，比如social merits, 似乎是作者自造的
另外，正式文中，简写和缩写都要注意避免哦

[ 本帖最后由 Rosebudcn 于 2008-8-20 16:59 编辑 ]

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