[未归类] 独立写作小组 3.23by 小白 [复制链接]

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yxb_25
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板凳

发表于 2010-3-24 20:06:05 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 yxb_25 于 2010-3-24 20:07 编辑

3.23Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:

Sports teaches us lessons about life.

Sports is always a topic with endless debate. As more and more people participate in the sport games, there is a heated discussion on whether sports teaches us lessons about life. Some people believe that sports is just sports, arguing that the cases on playground can not be applied to the normal life with difference between them. However, in my point of view, I hold the position that sports does teach individuals a lot about life, such as perseverance and team work.

First of all, through sports, especially contests with rivals, there are many chances in which we can cultivate ourselves with perseverance. It is universally
acknowledged that perseverance, (这里感觉怪怪的，改成这样你看看行不行，It is acknowledged by us universally that perseverance)or keeping effort on what you are pursuing, is among the main factors which contribute to the success. Without doubt, athletic activities are the best platform for people to show their perseverance to win the games. For example, when a bicycle racer is falling behind his competitors, all he should do is to keep moving and call up his potential. If he does this(this 在这里可以省掉）, it is likely that he can catch up with（other）rivals and win the golden medal. Through this process, he could realize that perseverance and not giving up could lead to success. Then he may use this in other aspects of
(his)
life, such as study and accounting job. What's more, history abounds with such cases, from which people could learn in order to use the perseverance to achieve personal goals. In sum, sports teach us perseverance, a lesson about life.
例子很有说服力，很好啊！！

Secondly, in my opinion, the most precious character sports may teach us is the ability to join in team work for the sake of the final accomplishment. As the development of modern society, team work is becoming ever more important as most of work（感觉as most of work这样说有问题吧，换成 in most conditions或者in most cases或许好点), because of its complexity, cannot be finished simply by someone alone. Then the ability to participate in a team or group and find the balance between every member is of greater significance. No one can deny that sports could teach us how to make the most use of （ the most use of 在这里是什么意思啊？删掉吧）a team to finish jobs and achieve balance among everyone's benefit. Playing basketball is often cited as a typical example for team work. Just like an ad says, "No brothers, no basketball"（貌似是Addidas的广告吧，直接把牌子写上去也无妨）. Without effective cooperation among the five players on the court, there is almost no possibility to win. In a sport game, like basketball game or football game, people learn how to share the resources, how to avoid shortcomings and how to communicate with others. All these are the fundamental personalities in this
plural society. （你看这样说会不会好点：All these spirit are essential in today's plural society) Therefore, in term of team work, sports are the best lecturer.# @0 {7 Y/ f5 {0 v
举例
举例恰当，观点很鲜明。
:
Of course, including perseverance and team work, among the lessons sports teaches us are many others, such as how to keep energetic, how to control our own emotion and so forth. For those, all we have to do is just to join it. Then we will realize that sports teach us a lot.

To conclude, with so many useful lessons in life we can acquire from doing sports, I agree with the statement that sports teaches us about life.

文章很不错，但是如果能替换一些精彩点的表达法会让文章更上一个层次的！LZ一口气敲出这么多字来，佩服啊！！

举例子很有说服力，都是非常常见的例子，要学习LZ 的举例能力，我每次写作文就举不出例子来！额。。。要加油了！

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