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[作文] 求拍essay 目标7分 [复制链接]

susanshang
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-10-4 16:00:04 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

本帖最后由 susanshang 于 2010-10-4 16:49 编辑

about distance learning ang traditional learing

With the rapid development of our society and technology, there’s evidence that distance-learning is becoming more and more popular nowadays. Despite the fact that traditional way of learning is convinced as the common method of learning, it still triggers an entire string of remarks about whether students should attend regular school or enjoy learning via TV or the Internet. Advocates of distance learning believed that the convenience and freedom it brings is more humanity. While others hold the contrasting view that traditional education is the most efficient way of obtaining knowledge.

Some people claim that distance learning will give rise to a number of advantages. Firstly, from the economical aspect, distance learning is far more economical friendly than traditional education. Students who attend Internet courses will need no textbooks, in which way the dissipation of paper can be avoided, thus doing help to our environment. Secondly, taking distance curriculums adds more ease and individual identity to private study plan. Learners can choose what to study and where to study according to their levels, which can’t be achieved by traditional learning. Lastly, individual study via TV and Information highway helps adolescents to foster a splendid habit to be responsible for their own schedule of learning.

On the other hand, many people are opposed to the view above for the following reasons. Primarily, students of young ages are prone to exterior distractions. As a result, they are lack of self-discipline and aren’t capable for studying all by themselves. People are in worry that a huge number of kids would ruin their prospection without the inspection and guidance of teachers. Furthermore, there’s a bad phenomenon that children are losing their ability to write now. Without the writing asked by teachers, more kid are in danger of becoming illiteracy. Worst of all, as a result of home studying, kids are easy to be introverted and can’t communicate with others than kids who go to public schools. The consequence is detrimental considering the fact that society doesn’t need self-centered and unsociable nerds instead of open-minded and able people.

Judging these two viewpoints above mentioned, I consider the former one more reasonable and feasible on preconditions that parents should help to guide their kid to foster a proper way of learning and take their kids to outdoor activities. Only in these ways can distance learning be more practical and versatile later.

再问大家一个问题啊 essay 到底多少字数和段落最合适呢之前有人说一个理由一个段落这样真的可行吗

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Kinsimon
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沙发

发表于 2010-10-5 11:01:35 |只看该作者

以下是我是看法。我自己也在准备。无法给你评分。

我觉得大体框架在···不过观点好多（你的思维还真灵活，想了多久才下笔？）不过观点多的话容易混乱；虽然你用了很多连接词，不过前后逻辑还是不好安排····

你单词用的挺高级，复杂句、长句很多，that用了很多，句子有些啰嗦。。。读起来有些困难。，缩写（如there's）应该全写。

你写太长了吧？395个词。task2 要求250以内，我觉得270就该收笔了。超过300估计不能接受了。。。

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EmilyS
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板凳

发表于 2010-10-8 01:31:47 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 EmilyS 于 2010-10-8 01:40 编辑

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Kinsimon
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地板

发表于 2010-10-8 10:48:22 |只看该作者

LS太强悍了- -！

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susanshang
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5楼

发表于 2010-10-8 16:53:14 |只看该作者

2# Kinsimon

谢谢你啊这篇作文写的时候还是很快的不到30min 就写完了所以出现了很多语法上的错误吧好不应该哦考试不还是不会冒险写这么多的看来给40min时间是由道理的想清楚再下笔最好啊

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susanshang
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6楼

发表于 2010-10-8 16:59:20 |只看该作者

3# EmilyS
谢谢你啊牛人
修改的好详细啊
语法错误都挑出来了当时我们英语老师就说我句子冗长来着看来牛人的看法都是如此一致啊请问你是已经成功出了吗

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Kinsimon
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7楼

发表于 2010-10-8 17:04:00 |只看该作者

2# Kinsimon

谢谢你啊这篇作文写的时候还是很快的不到30min 就写完了所以出现了很多语法上的错误吧好不应该哦考试不还是不会冒险写这么多的看来给40min时间是由道理的想清楚再下笔最好啊
susanshang 发表于 2010-10-8 16:53

对，时间是充足的。关键是想好再下笔。一旦开始写了或者写好了要改就很难基本不可能了。不然会很潦草 --- 加油啦

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susanshang
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8楼

发表于 2010-10-8 18:04:51 |只看该作者

7# Kinsimon
嘻嘻话说你什么时候考啊

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Kinsimon
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9楼

发表于 2010-10-8 19:27:39 |只看该作者

7# Kinsimon
嘻嘻话说你什么时候考啊
susanshang 发表于 2010-10-8 18:04

我10月23.争取全7上7.5。。。口语和作文关键。你？

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susanshang
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10楼

发表于 2010-10-8 19:56:01 |只看该作者

9# Kinsimon
哈哈明天。。。

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Kinsimon
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11楼

发表于 2010-10-8 20:01:17 |只看该作者

9# Kinsimon
哈哈明天。。。
susanshang 发表于 2010-10-8 19:56

明天= =

加油，顺利回归~ 等你好消息

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susanshang
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12楼

发表于 2010-10-8 20:27:06 |只看该作者

11# Kinsimon

好嘞考完就去世博会爽快一番你也加油啊

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lucas090801
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13楼

发表于 2010-10-8 22:33:08 |只看该作者

我也明天考了，心里忐忑不安的
板凳写的太好了，我就想说一句，别再用more and more了哈哈~

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EmilyS
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发表于 2010-10-9 03:21:21 |只看该作者

6# susanshang

额，原来大家都是潜水的。。。为什么突然冒出来这么多人 :L

昨天无聊的时候改的。。。基本上20分钟改一篇吧。。。觉得很多问题大家都大同小异的，然后想看着别人怎么改对自己也有帮助吧。。。我是这么希望的 = =

当然作文这种东西，多看多写是硬道理。。。TASK1建议看wsj分析股票走势，TASK2建议看NYTimes的Opinion。就好了。

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