[同主题写作] 0510G同主题写作第五期——Issue48 [复制链接]

Now I have question about the beginning of the issue. I feel that it is impossible for me to write an good beginning in such a short time. there may be two choices. one is to prepare a template, which is full of junk words; the other is the simplest beginning, just state my theme with very simple words (seems very ugly).

I give you two examples:
(1)template:
In a modern society, people always face the dilemma to choose whether AA
A or BBB. This problem is the much debated one in that it affects every
body in their daily lives. People may prefer one to another although so
me may have no opinions about it at all. Before rendering my opinion, I
think it is necessary to take a glance at the arguments of both sides.

(2)the very simple beginning:
In the history study, placing much emphasis on individuals is necessary and now this emphasis is not too much. In addition, the study of history does not forget the role of groups of people in the significant historical events and tends.

I think the template is better than the theme. I think that the review books recommend that you [do not rewrite the question statement in your introduction 对，这就是版主们一直强调的不要restate开头]. The problem with the template introduction, however, is that it will force you to present both sides of the argument. I think that this is [not necessary, 对, 没有必要两方面都说呀], and your score will depend only on how well you present one single opinion. So for example, if the statement is "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten," [下面是构思的方法, 大家可以参考, 我觉得很有用] first think of the viewpoint you will write about. It does not really matter whether you agree or disagree with the statement, but how well you argue your opinion. So usually I will take about 2-3 minutes to think about which opinion I can think of more arguments and I will write them down. For example:

Emphasis of individuals good:
--easier for students to remember history
--allows students to appreciate specific characters and use them as role models
--educates students on important prominent figures in politics and history

Emphasis of individuals negative:
--does not acknowledge groups of individuals who were equally important
--ignores the importance of society's influences
--does not acknowledge the full extent of difficulty and conflict that occurred

In this case, I think that my arguments for agreeing with the statement that emphasis on indviduals is negative are better. So, I may write an introduction that acknowledges the other viewpoint, but mostly introduces my own opinion. For example:

    "As the author of the statement indicates, the study of history often involves emphasizing the achievements of specific individuals who were important to specific historical movements or events.  Pointing out specific individuals can be a positive tool in educating students in history.  Central figures in history help students to remember specific events. In addition, they give students specific figures that can be emulated as role models. Even so, however, I agree with the author of the statement that there is too much emphasis on indiviuals and that groups of people who are equally important are forgotten.  For example, Abraham Lincoln is often memorialized as the central figure in the Civil War and the emancipation of American slaves. Emphasizing Lincoln as a central figure in this large movement fails to acknowledge the actions of thousands of other individuals, including the slaves themselves, that was integral in the Civil War. In addition, placing emphasis on a single individual may cause students to ignore the importance of the history itself. They may remember Lincoln and his name, but fail to understand the gravity of the slave situation that occurred at that time."

[这种开头我在argument的6分范文里有看到过，觉得这种开头显得很有逻辑,而且接下来的文章层次也会很清晰.不过这段开头的长度赶的上body了.不过大家可以发现, 她在开头部分已经部分展开了,对于我们来说,我觉得这种开头的思想可以借鉴, 也是容易学习的,不过没必要像她一样在开头就对观点进行一定程度的展开, 这个至少对我来说很难, 本来就没多少例子好举,都放开头了, body干脆没话说了, 要么就是说来说去都是重复.

说到这里, 她这种举例的方式我们可以在body里借鉴. 就是怎么让一个general, vague的观点具体化, 并且focus on你的观点.举例说来, 从individual 具体到Lincoln, 从group of people 具体到slaves, central figure 对应too much emphasis, 而forgotten对应fail to acknowledge, 没有一句多余的话——这就是逻辑.

希望对大家能有帮助：）]

This kind of introduction may seem difficult to write, but as you can see, I simply took the short notes I wrote about each opinion and summarized them into an introduction paragraph. In addition, I used a specific example to illustrate the argument of my essay. I think if you practice this kind of introduction, it will become very easy very quickly.