[求助] 战战兢兢的独立写作....请批改~ [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-12-27 14:04:07 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

TPO 5---Independent Writing:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment—doing things they like to do—rather than doing things they should do.

Have you ever seen an adolescent addicted to computer games all day? Have you ever been lost into an incredible novel like Jane Eyre in spite of resting and eating? Have you ever witnessed a girl obsessed by the fashion icon Gossip Girl? Clearly, most of us have been hooked by something we interested in. However, temporary people did not focus on the enjoyment too much, instead, it is merely part of life.

As the saying goes,” All work no play makes Jack a dull boy”. Nowadays, with the high speed of development in the world, competition between people is becoming more and more furious, which increases the pressure people suffer. Dealing with the relationship between work and relaxation is a wise choice. White-collar workers in the big company have to confront stress from excessive work, excellent colleagues, and offices’ rumors. If they always suffer it and have no release, then it will do great harm physically and psychologically. As it does in the case of students in school, they have to face peer pressure from making class presentation, getting the highest grade of subjects, and being the star of the activities. Therefore, they need to relieve by entertainment show or doing lots of exercises to remove the burden and generate the energy for the next challenge. Even in ancient time, people have fun in their spare time. The emperor in Southern Tang dynasty eases the tiredness by calligraphy, traditional Chinese paintings, and poems. The caveman would hold a bonfire party for fun after the daytime hunting.

Seemingly, some people are just devoted themselves to things they love which they gain great pleasure. But actually they combine their interest with their majors— doing things they like and they are responsible to do at the same time. When in Harvard University, Bill Gates pursued his loved career bravely. Since he had been interested in computer science, especially programming, he gained large amount of programming knowledge by learning it in his spare time. So when he attended the university, he could use school’s lab to develop some valuable software secretly as his behaviors contradicted to school’s rule. In the sophomoric year, he confronted a serious choice—whether to drop out of university and then set up his own business. It seems that he should continue to study as a student rather than do other things making him distract. But for Bill, dropping out to create and produce software is his great enjoyment. Besides, the purpose of education is to produce students contributing to the whole world and Bill’s new career is to that point. It is obvious that he spent “too much time” on his enjoyment (develop computer programs) as well as his career and consequently, he achieved his success. Abundant examples can support my idea. Facebook’s birth owing to Zacberg’s interest and great input of time. One of the hottest singer— Justin Birber rose to fame overnight because of pleasure he gained from the music and persistence to strive to be singer. Natalie Portman combined her deep love for acting with the knowledge of psychology which she learnt in Harvard during the acting years.

Admittedly, there are people who are addicted to their individual enjoyment regardless of other things. Nevertheless, partial people cannot represent all human beings. With the improvement of human’s thinking, these people will not only take on their own compulsory responsibility but also be voluntary to help others to get true enjoyment.

All in all, nowadays people does not pay too much attention on obtaining enjoyment, instead they are more willing to integrate their interest with their career or study, which will bring them enjoyment as well as the achievement.

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