argument 78 114 116 11778) The following appeared in a memo from the vice presid

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78) The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a food distribution company with food storage warehouses in several cities.
Recently, we signed a contract with the Fly-Away Pest Control Company to provide pest control services at our fast-food warehouse in Palm City, but last month we discovered that over $20,000 worth of food there had been destroyed by pest damage. Meanwhile, the Buzzoff Pest Control Company, which we have used for many years, continued to service our warehouse in Wintervale, and last month only $10,000 worth of the food stored there had been destroyed by pest damage. Even though the price charged by Fly-Away is considerably lower, our best means of saving money is to return to Buzzoff for all our pest control services.
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.

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     TS
    The vice president argues to return to Buzzoff for their company`s pest control services to save money because the work of Buzzoff in Wintervale last month has saved $10,000 than Fly-away in Palm city. Well, I find additional evidences are needed to assess this argument to see whether or not it is reasonable. These evidences may strengthen or weaken this argument.

    ts1
    The first evidences needed are that Buzzoff does have a good performance than Fly-away in pest controlling and money saving in other cities and has always be so. 可能，在别的城市F更厉害，而且，因为害虫种类不一样，也许B并不像F那样擅长kill在别的地方的害虫。而且，文章提供的知识上个月的情况，也许既往几年总的来看，F表现更好。

    ts2
    Second, I need strong evidences to prove that the kind of food in Wintervale warehouse is not immune to pest and the whole situation of pests in Wintervale is not benign when is compared with other cities. 也许，W储存的食物更不易招惹害虫，甚至还含有抗虫的物质；而且，W城的害虫情况比其他地方的要温和得多。

    ts3
    Finally, the critically needed evidences are that the pest situation in Palm is not more serious than other places and food stored there does not easily attract pest. 可能，P城的害虫情况目前比其它地方更严峻，尽管F已经很尽力了，而且，在P城选用其他灭虫公司的仓库遭受的损失比此公司的更大；再者，可能此公司在P城仓库里的食物更易招惹害虫，所以，有那样的结果也是不可避免的。

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讨论中老师给出的建议
     TS
    The vice president argues to return to Buzzoff for their company`s pest control services to save money because the work of Buzzoff in Wintervale last month has saved $10,000 than Fly-away in Palm city. Well, I find additional evidences are needed to assess this argument to see whether or not it is reasonable. These evidences may strengthen or weaken this argument.

应该用argues that 而不是  argues to
saved $10,000 than Fly-away in   比较级才用than





    ts1
    The first evidences needed are that Buzzoff does have a good performance than Fly-away in pest controlling and money saving in other cities and has always be so. 可能，在别的城市F更厉害，而且，因为害虫种类不一样，也许B并不像F那样擅长kill在别的地方的害虫。而且，文章提供的知识上个月的情况，也许既往几年总的来看，F表现更好。
开段句型有问题，可以用
More evidence is needed to prove/ support the claim that...
或We need more information/evidence about....

中间第一段可以写：
total value,价值的百分比
食物的特征,害虫的区别
收取的费用；



中间第二段：
不可只看一个月的记录，得看历史




中间第三段：
环境的问题

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修改后


     TS
    The vice president argues that the best means of saving money for the company is to return to Buzzoff for their pest control services because the work of Buzzoff in Wintervale last month has helped save $10,000 worth of food more than Fly-away did in Palm city. Well, I find additional evidences are needed to assess this argument to see whether or not it is reasonable. These evidences may strengthen or weaken this argument.

    ts1
    The first piece of  evidence that we need in order to evaluate the vice president`s argument is information about whether or not Buzzoff does have a good performance than Fly-away in pest controlling and money saving in other cities and has always be so. 可能在别的城市F更厉害，而且，因为害虫种类不一样，也许B并不像F那样擅长kill在别的地方的害虫。而且，文章提供的知识上个月的情况，也许既往几年总的来看，F表现更好。

    ts2
    The second piece of evidence that might help us evaluate this argument involves the nature of food in the two different warehouses and the effectiveness of the two companies` performance in pest controlling and money saving. 可能，比起B处理的食物，F处理的食物更容易招惹害虫，更容易坏，W储存的食物更不易招惹害虫，甚至还含有抗虫的物质；而且，F处理的食物更贵、价值更高，那么，F处理的仓库虽然损失比B的多了一万，但从损失与食物总价值的百分比来看，F的表现更好。

    ts3
    Finally, the critical evidence that is in needed is information about the pest situations in the two cities. 可能，P城的害虫情况目前比其它地方更严峻，尽管F已经很尽力了，而且，在P城选用其他灭虫公司的仓库遭受的损失比此公司的更大；而W城的害虫情况比其他地方的要温和得多。