进军美利坚作文组10月8日-狂狂

heqiang_1001UID: 2607349

11.3  Some people prefer to live in a small town. Others prefer to live in a big city. Which place would you prefer to live in? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

People seldom agree with each other even with such trivial issues as preference between a small town and a big city. Some people prefer a small town to a big country for the reason that it is less stressful, while others states that the life in big cities is more exciting. As far as I am concerned, as a university student in a big city, I prefer to live in big cities because the life is much more convenient and I could have more opportunities.

Cities give us a lot of conveniences in our lives. When it comes to the lives(life) in big cities, a lot of gorgeous things will come to our minds, such as the luxurious cars and amazing buildings. Indeed, the life in big cities, such as Shanghai, Guangzhou in China, is much convenient. For one thing, the development of modern technology can be expressed best in big cities. Take the subway system for example, the advanced subway shorten the time for us to go to work and visit to other places greatly. We could save a lot of precious time. For another, living in a big city usually has a superior living standard to that in a small town. There are more commodities and service in city markets; there are more public utilities available in big cities; there are even much more television channels in big cities.(感觉这些话都很空很泛泛，再具体些，细节一些。比如，具体有哪些著名大学，它们带给你的好处。) Thus, the living in big cities is more comfortable.

We may achieve more improvement in big cities, no matter for receiving education or job hunting. First, the big cities have collected the most excellent educational resource, such as famous universities, first-class professors or teachers. The big cities are the best place for us to receive education and acquire knowledge. Second, compared to the small towns, the big cities are like to inspire the learning. As the development of science and technology, information and knowledge exchange is increasingly important to us. With the connecting of computer and internet, people have more accesses to search for the needy information and exchange their ideas with others. At last, we may have more job opportunities or career advancement in big cities. Most of the big cities are the economic and cultural centers of a nation, which could provide fruitful positions to people. Therefore, the big cities are suitable for us to receive education or hunt jobs（换个表达,有点重复 get advanced education or better job opportunities）.（这段很好，思路清晰，语言也流畅）

Life in big cities could be exciting and amazing. However, it is not necessarily that the life in small town is awful. Actually, people who live in small town may feel less stressed and have more leisure time. Also, the competition in small town is less fierce. To conclude, as a young man, I prefer to live in a big city because of its convenience and more chance for improvement. Also, I may choose to live in a small town after I get tired.

我也觉得很中规中矩的，从语言到结构。狂狂是理科生吧……这样也好的，保险。
整体，第二段太空了，加点实际具体的东西，表达了同样的意思还看起来很生动。有些词用的很不错，学习。
不好意思这么晚才给你改，加油！

scutgongUID: 2564275

In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon.

The development of science and technology gives an impressive revolution to the whole world. One of the most striking things is that people nowadays have much longer life expectation. Take the Chinese people for example, the mean life-span of Chinese is 73 years, which is unimaginable in the past. A number of factors could be accounted for this progress. As far as I am concerned, I prefer that the improvement in nutrition and sanitation is the critical to the longer life phenomenon.

Food and nutritions play important roles in enhancing the life expectation of mankind. The most fundamental need for human beings is the sufficient food and nutrition. For one thing, people could not to be expected to live without enough food supply. A great number of Chinese had to endure the hunger or even stavation 50 years ago, so the people might find it difficult to live in the world. However, with the development of argriculture and food technology, the Chinese people not only have solved the problem of shortage of food, but also have a lot of choices on food. For example, there are so diverse choices of food, such as rice, breads, meat and all kinds of fruits, so some even have some trouble choosing the food they like. For another, only food cannot guarantee us to live well and then live longer, the fruitful nutrition is more important to help us to derive a healthy life. For instance, if a man always eats vegetable all the time without any protein-contained food, such as pork and milk, even though the vegetables contain sufficient vitamins, it is difficult for him to keep healthy because the protein and some other nutritions are also very vital to live well. Nowadays, people could acquire more balanced nutrition, which is essential to expect a longer life. Thus, the revolution in food and nutrition is critical to the longer life expectation.

The modern sanitation condition and advanced medical treatment help people to prevent and cure the illness. First, superior sanitation condition is helpful to prevent us from getting illness. Most of us may have the experience that people could be more healthy if they care about the sanitation better. For example, modern people behaves sanitarily than ever before, such as the using some antiseptic to make their body clean, which will stop the invasion of some bacterias. Also, people have better aware of cleanness, the clean public service is a good example. Second, the revolution in illness cure is amazing. During the past several years, numerous of effective medicines have been discovered or invented to cure illness. The invention and widely use of insulin is a perfect example, millions of people who suffered from diabetes could alleviate the pain by the illness and in turn live longer. Third, some man-made appliances could be planted in human body, which is also a great revolutionary achievement. For example, the artificial heart could work well to help the patient who get a hearty illness. Also, some artfifile bones is effective to hope the disable to lead a normal life or even join in some sport activities. Therefore, the achievements in sanitary condition and medical treatment are effective to gurantee a longer life of people.

In addition, some other factors could also help people to live longer, such as the more leisure time and the less pressure from the workplace. Compared to the people in the past, people are living much longer now. From my perspective, I think the most important causes of this phenomenon could be attributed to the sufficient food and nutrition, the great imporvement of medical and so on. All of these are the necessary results of development in science and technology.

紫薇花开UID: 2461167

词汇变化多样，内容丰富。很好
里面的小错误  你在看看吧
Word 里面