1006G[redemption]备考贴 by after17

after17UID: 2681985

第六次作业
改 小痴 https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1054056&page=2#pid1773561277

liuxinglly2UID: 2754800

16# after17

首先我觉得提纲的逻辑不是太清晰啊
In a quickly changing world, individuals will confront more tough problems in their life. At this time a controversy that we have a myriad of choices in our life arises.（本句有点头重脚轻了） As far as I am concerned strongly support the statement for the following reasons.

First and foremost, as an old saying that “no one could force you to do things that you should not do ", we can have a myriad of choices in our own lives. One’s mind is full of desires, thus when one wants to make his/her dreams come true, he/she would try best to realize them（按我的理解，改成follow them是不是更好点呢？）. In this way, numerous things could be chosen. People determine their believes, their career, the schools where they study. For example, the first Chinese prime ZhouEnlai, set up his mind in his youth that it was his career to flourish China which in that time was a undeveloped country and was invaded by other nations. When he held this dream, every day he studied hard in order to make great progress. Finally, after tens of years, a new china was born owning to thousands of thousands individuals' efforts, especially his. Through his choice, he accomplished his dream.
Life is like a box of chocolate, we are able to choose what we like（nice rewriting sentence）. 本段的观点不错，论述展开也比较合理，但是周恩来的例子的特征性与这个论点并没有相通之处，建议举一些泛泛而谈的例子就可以了。）

Furthmore, in daily life, while our economy thrives, we earn much more than our descendants. Therefore, we can afford to materials we like. If we prefer to playing basketball, we could go to the playground and play with our friends. With more salaries, our dressing style is ensured. The time we like a dress, there is no need for us to hesitate to purchase like our parents in the old days. In addition, food on our desk become in a diverse way through new technologies. That means we have much choices of what to eat.（本段举了很多小例子，但是论点不明确，而且表达的意思与上一段有重复，逻辑上没有Furthermore。）

On the contrary, absolute choice doesn't exist at all. There are principles and laws to restrict our actions. Such restrictions ensure people to live in a safe way without being hurt by others' choice.
When one convicts crimes, then he has to make up for his guilty. Truly, to some distent(什么意思，没看懂，是不是单词拼错了：to some extent某种程度上) there do exist things that we cannot choose. Our nationalities, which family is born and so on are not determined by us. Logically, sometimes even we have dreams; those dreams are limited by our conditions. To support a trip to the moon, a mountain of money has been required. Common sense tells me that in the world few persons can afford this money. Even assuming that when（两个引导词，重复了） someone has the ability to pay for the trip, he still has to have a health physical condition which is suit for the universal trip. （本段论述的比较充分，举的例子也详细解释了）

Though some things are indeed cannot be chosen, those contains only a small amount of percentage in our lives. To sum up, we have tremendous options in the society.

（本段的观点是基本同意，但是论述比较缺乏重点，可能问题关键在于中间段第一第二段的内容在逻辑上并没有形成递进，有很多选择和有更多的选择之间本质上并没有递进，建议中间第二段的论点可以设为：“有时候看似没有选择的情况其实是有选择的”这样与“有很多选择”之间就形成了递进关系。这是个人的观点。总的来说本文结构比较清晰，举例丰富，语言上还需要自己注意，多读一读有小地方还是有点别扭）

after17UID: 2681985

第七次作业

TOPIC: ARGUMENT150 - The following is a letter to the editor of an environmental magazine.

"The decline in the numbers of amphibians worldwide clearly indicates the global pollution of water and air. Two studies of amphibians in Yosemite National Park in California confirm my conclusion. 1 In 1915 there were seven species of amphibians in the park, and there were abundant numbers of each species. However, in 1992 there were only four species of amphibians observed in the park, and the numbers of each species were drastically reduced. The decline in Yosemite has been blamed on the introduction of trout into the park's waters, which began in 1920 (trout are known to eat amphibian eggs). But the introduction of trout cannot be the real reason for the Yosemite decline because it does not explain the worldwide decline."
WORDS: 398
TIME: 00:51:51
DATE: 2010/2/2 23:02:27
错误 1特殊例子，样本缺乏。
      2 不能排除trout 导致amphibians 减少
       3 缺少原因证明pollution导致amphibians减少


At first glance, this letter appears to be obviously well-reasoned. The author advocates that it is the global pollution of water and air that make the decline in the number of amphibians. To justify this claim, the arguer points out that the population and species of amphibians in Yosemite National Park became reduced. However, this argument contains a series of flaws, which contributes to it's premature.

The study depends on the observation that a decline of species of amphibians in Yosemite National Park to draw the conclusion that the global pollution of water and air is the cause. However, the arguer fails to provide any information about the species of amphibians in other parks.
Common sense tells me that there are a myriad of parks in the world. The greater this number, the less credible the survey. Therefore, unless it can be indicated that condition of amphibians in the Yosemite National Park is representative of the species of amphibians throughout the world, I am not convinced by the assertion.

In addition, the arguer fails to rule out the fact that the introduction of trout causes amphibians' species and number to decrease. We are informed that trout are favorably to eat amphibian eggs. There is a good chance that trout eat amphibian eggs and as a result the population of amphibians declined. Or perhaps trout have bad effect on the living circumstance of amphibians which leads to the reduction. Absent evidence to eliminate the scenario, the assumption that the global pollution of water and air leads to the deduction of amphibians is unwarranted.

Even assuming the introduction of trout does not accused of making the Yosemite decline, the letter rest on additional hypothesis that the pollution is the real reason for the decline. Yet, the arguer offers no evidence to valify this scenario. It is entirely possible that the climate change leads to the deduction or other human being's activities are blamed for the reduction. Without removing these possibilities, the author's claim that the decline numbers of amphibians worldwide indicates the global pollution of water and air remains dubious at best.

In sum, the author's conclusion is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should provide more information about the numbers of amphibians in other parks. In order to better evaluate the argument, we would need more factors about the relationship between trout and amphibians.

after17UID: 2681985

TOPIC: ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."
WORDS: 416         
The point in the assertion is that revitalization through new leadership is the surest way to success for any institution. The assertion is acceptable to some extent, otherwise is not always true.

The first dad effect of not stepping down is that it may cause corruption. It is always true that when people get power for the first time, they would be responsible since they think they are credited. But when people hold power, no matter how little it is, for a long time, they will be less responsible since they think it is rational for them to use their power to benefit themselves. The phenomenon is called corruption. If it happens in any institution, none of those institutions can survive for a long time. It is time for a company or a government went to its end when its leader, or anyone who have even little power, becomes corrupted.

Another bad effect of those in power not stepping down for a long period is that their old mind may in the way of development, especially in the realms of education and scientific research. Common sense tells us that science improves quite fast. What is a new idea today may be an old one tomorrow. If a person has always been in a high hierarchy, he or she may be lazy receiving new information or getting some change. Thus, it is highly likely that ideas caught out by that group is no more than a platitude since its leader is not likely to listen to new ones. Then, it is also time for a research group went to its end. Someone may argue with me that in the field of education, old and experienced educators are always much more respectable than younger ones. But those people may forget the truth that education needs evolution. Everything requiring for evolution, or even revolution, should have revitalization through new leadership. It is the only possible way for evolution or revolution to launch.

However, we ought to pay attention to another fact that any revitalization taking place too often is not good for an institution. Revitalization brings not only creativity but also confusion. Such confusion may finally throw the group into endless trouble .

As far as I am concerned, substitute of leaders is necessary for almost all profession, especially in the field of politics and government. Otherwise, over frequent substitute of leaders is will do harm to group's stability and members' sense of belongingness, especially in the realm of business.

SasakiKojiroUID: 2678315

修改的issue70 "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."

The point in the assertion is that revitalization through new leadership is the surest way to success for any institution. The assertion is acceptable to some extent, otherwise is not always true. (职权者应该在五年后退位没说吧，后面那一句感觉有点单薄 - -)

The first dad（bad） effect of not stepping down is that it may cause corruption. It is always true that when people get power for the first time, they would be responsible since they think they are credited. But when people hold power, no matter how little it is, for a long time, they will be less responsible since they think it is rational for them to use their power to benefit themselves. The phenomenon is called corruption. If it happens in any institution, none of those institutions can survive for a long time. It is time for a company or a government went to its end when its leader, or anyone who have even little power, becomes corrupted.

Another bad effect of those in power not stepping down for a long period is that their old mind may in the way of development, especially in the realms of education and scientific research. Common sense tells us that science improves quite fast. What is a new idea today may be an old one tomorrow. If a person has always been in a high hierarchy, he or she may be lazy receiving new information or getting some change. Thus, it is highly likely that ideas caught out by that group is no more than a platitude since its leader is not likely to listen to new ones. Then, it is also time for a research group went to its end. Someone may argue with me that in the field of education, old and experienced educators are always much more respectable than younger ones. But those people may forget the truth that education needs evolution. Everything requiring for evolution, or even revolution, should have revitalization through new leadership. It is the only possible way for evolution or revolution to launch.

However, we ought to pay attention to another fact that any revitalization taking place too often is not good for an institution. Revitalization brings not only creativity but also confusion. Such confusion may finally throw the group into endless trouble . (额  。。这段。。)

As far as I am concerned, substitute of leaders is necessary for almost all profession, especially in the field of politics and government. Otherwise, over frequent substitute of leaders is will do harm to group's stability and members' sense of belongingness, especially in the realm of business.

同一个词组用的太多 比如went to its end。LZ倒2段应该没写完吧 - -
最后的结尾从两个方面来说很好，感觉语言有些生硬，中式英语太多 - -
因为本人写的也很烂，有许多地方不知道要怎么帮助LZ改进 - - 如果不对的话，请LZ务必反拍死~

after17UID: 2681985

改小痴第七次作业https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... age=3#pid1773573825

after17UID: 2681985

第八次作业

TOPIC: ARGUMENT7 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of the Clearview newspaper.

"In the next mayoral election, residents of Clearview should vote for Ann Green, who is a member of the Good Earth Coalition, rather than for Frank Braun, a member of the Clearview town council, because the current members are not protecting our environment. For example, during the past year the number of factories in Clearview has doubled, air pollution levels have increased, and the local hospital has treated 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. If we elect Ann Green, the environmental problems in Clearview will certainly be solved."
WORDS: 377          TIME: 00:39:51          DATE: 2010/2/4 23:47:48
错误 1没有证据表明Braun指示了市委的决定
     2 没证据表示空气污染水平导致呼吸疾病增加
     3不能证明Green能解决环境问题
At first glance, this editorial appears to be plausibly well-reasoned. The author advocates that citizens should vote for Ann Green rather than Frank Braun. To justify this claim, the arguer points out that the current council members do not protect the environment. However, this letter contains a series of flaws and fallacies, which contribute to it's premature.

First and foremost, the author assumes a causal relationship between Frank Braun and the Clearview town council that Braun does not protect their environment. Yet, there is no evidence to validate this hypothesis. The mere fact that Braun is a member of the council does not necessarily follow that he affected the council's behavior. Common sense tells me that decisions are made by the whole council. Thus, there is a possibility that Braun proposed for protecting environment, however, his opinion had not been adopted. In the absence of clearly evidence that Braun has an influence on the city council's decisions, the editorial cannot substantiate that Braun is assumed for the pollution.

In addition, the mere fact that the increasing number of factories and growing level of air pollution result in the 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. There is a good chance that as the number of factories doubled, the population in Clearview also increased, therefore more people suffers from respiratory illnesses. Or perhaps last year citizens had been infected epidemic diseases. Also, perhaps because the climate changed greatly which made people became easier to be sick. Such scenarios would serve to undermine the author's claim.

Finally, even assuming that Braun was assumed for the pollution, the author provides no evidence to show that Ann Green will make efforts to solve those problems related to environmental pollution.  We may image that Ann Green is a politian who just tends to make great progress in economy and does not care about protecting environment. Without ruling out these possibilities, the advocate remains dubious at best.

In sum, the author's recommendation is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, we need more factors showing that the council's decisions were affected by Braun. And air pollution contributes to the increasing rate of respiratory illnesses. In order to better evaluate the proposal, we would need more information about Ann Green's policies.

fayafayUID: 2743416

At first glance, this editorial appears to be plausibly well-reasoned. The author advocates that citizens should vote for Ann Green rather than Frank Braun. To justify this claim, the arguer points out that the current council members do not protect the environment. However, this letter contains a series of flaws and fallacies, which contribute to it's premature (its prematurity).

First and foremost, the author assumes a causal relationship between Frank Braun and the Clearview town council that Braun does not protect their environment. Yet, there is no evidence to validate this hypothesis. The mere fact that Braun is a member of the council does not necessarily follow that he affected the council's behavior. Common sense tells me that decisions are made by the whole council. (有点多余，建议删掉) Thus, there is a possibility that Braun proposed for protecting environment, however, his opinion had not been adopted. In the absence of clearly evidence that Braun has an influence on the city council's decisions, the editorial cannot substantiate that Braun is assumed for the pollution.

In addition, the mere fact that the increasing number of factories and growing level of air pollution result in the 25 percent more patients with respiratory illnesses. There is a good chance that as the number of factories doubled, the population in Clearview also increased, therefore more people suffers from respiratory illnesses.(就这句话来看，人口增多与患呼吸道疾病的人数增加没有关系啊) Or perhaps last year citizens had been infected epidemic diseases. Also, perhaps because the climate changed greatly which made people became easier to be sick. Such scenarios would serve to undermine the author's claim.

Finally, even assuming that Braun was assumed (建议换个词) for the pollution, the author provides no evidence to show that Ann Green will make efforts to solve those problems related to environmental pollution.  We may image that Ann Green is a Politian (politician) who just tends to make great progress in economy and does not care about protecting environment. Without ruling out these possibilities, the advocate remains dubious at best.

In sum, the author's recommendation is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, we need more factors showing that the council's decisions were affected by Braun. And air pollution contributes to the increasing rate of respiratory illnesses. In order to better evaluate the proposal, we would need more information ab (= = LZ 是不是还没写完？没有写完的后果会很严重)

- 可以在最后一个逻辑错误的论述中还可以再加上一点：因为Ann 是Good Earth Coalition成员而要选她为新市长
- 文章要写完，结尾要完整

after17UID: 2681985

第八次作业
TOPIC: ARGUMENT37 - Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been unique to the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could only have crossed it by boat, but there is no evidence that the Paleans had boats. And boats capable of carrying groups of people and cargo were not developed until thousands of years after the Palean people disappeared. Moreover, Paleans would have had no need to cross the river-the woods around Palea are full of nuts, berries, and small game. It follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea.
WORDS: 403          TIME: 00:41:40          DATE: 2010/2/5 22:04:35
错误：1 没证据表明他们没有船，他们可以坐小船去
       2 因为其他原因去河对面
        3 其他人把篮子带到河对岸去的
At first glance, this argument appears to be plausibly well-reasoned. The author advocates that Palean baskets were not unique to Palea. to justify this claim, he points out that archaeologists discovered such a Palean basket in Lithos. In addition, he cites that there were no boats which can carry groups of people and cargo were developed thousands of years after Palean people disappeared. However, this argument relies on a series of unwarranted hypothesis, which contribute to it's premature.

The author makes an assumption that Palean people could get across the river only by boats capable of carrying groups of people and cargo. Yet, there is no evidence to validate this scenario. There is a good chance that Palean people crossed the Brim River by small boats which were able to carry one or two people and a few cargo.  What's more, the author even uses an uncertain reason that ancient Paleans did not have boats. Nevertheless, this is a ridiculous claim. Since there is no evidence to show that the Paleans had boats, we could not conclude that they did not have boats.  In the absence of clearly evidence that Paleans did not have boats, the author cannot substantiate that Palean baskets were not unique to Palean.

In addition, the argument overlooks other possible explanations for that Paleans crossed the river. It is totally potential that Paleans needed woods which were only grew on the other side of Brim River. Or perhaps they planted crops in that land since soil on the other side of the river was more rich in minerals and good for plants. Moreover, they may be trade with people on the other side of river and exchanged necessity with those people. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's claim remains dubious at best.

Finally, even if those assumptions are sufficient, the argument relies on the additional scenario that the descendants of Paleans have never been to the other side of Brim River.  if it turns out to be true, then the author's notion that other areas also have Palean baskets would have merits. Or it has not. absent evidence to eliminate those aspects, the argument is unjustified.

In sum, the author's recommendation is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the author should indicate that Paleans did not have boats. In order to better evaluate the argument, we need more information about the trace of Paleans' descendants.

TOPIC: ISSUE70 - "In any profession-business, politics, education, government-those in power should step down after five years. The surest path to success for any enterprise is revitalization through new leadership."
WORDS: 516
TIME: 01:15:10
DATE: 2010/2/6 10:41:17

Do any leads in power should step down after five years? The author claims so, by the reason that new leadership would make great progress. It is true that innovation in leadership should be ensured, however, the frequency had better to be five years is remained uncertain.

First and foremost, it is a efficient way that leaders in power resign after several years to make the company, government and so forth to be vigor. As we all known, innovation is a vital factor for any institutions to flourish. With new leaders joining the teams, new ideas, different prospects for viewing problems are brought to the teams. In return, the productivity will be increased. Let's supposed a plot in a company which is a traditional manufactory in China.
The old leader president the company for 20 years and consequently he becomes dispassionate. As a result employees in the company also dispassionate and the productivity are weakening. If the old leader resigned, and a new president took over his position, with new blood coming to the company, there will be a boom again. Common sense tells me that when we work with passionate ones, we will affected by them and become vigorous too.

In addition, long-positioned leaders would become arrogant, and adapt autocratic principles in their field. There are many examples in the politics. For instance, the first Chinese president Mao Zedong, who is a great man in his youth and develops Chinese people's living standards, turned to be bureaucratic in his later years. In 1960s, he 发动 the ten year's revolution which affected millions of families and leaded to those families live in miserable lives which other politicians made great disapproval of his decision. This example tells us that long-time leadership does really harm to our country.

Wonderful though the suggestion that people in power should resign is, there is no evidence showing how many years is a good term for leadership. While innovation is a fundamental part of benign leadership, stability also plays an essential key role in leadership. If our management is not stable, employees will wonder how to continue their work.
Logically, different leaders adopt different principles in the management. Imagining when employees just become suit for a policy, then the manager be changed and a new leader publishs a different policy. Consequently, the stability will be undermined. Still, no information indicates us that five years is a perfect term for leader ship.
The American president is four years, maybe in politics four years is a good term. However, this term may not suit for business. Considering different field has their own characteristics, the five years' suggestion is not fit for the whole.

Without innovation, our society cannot make great progress and suffer a risk to depress. Without stability, any organizations cannot operate in a normal way and in turn employees become desperate to the management. For my point of view, in order to prosper team it is better to combine innovation and stability together. That is to say profession in power should resign in a proper time, may be five years, or not.

after17UID: 2681985

第九次作业 改fay https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... age=3#pid1773582621
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... age=3#pid1773582728

fayafayUID: 2743416

At first glance, this argument appears to be plausibly well-reasoned. The author advocates that Palean baskets were not unique to Palea. to (To) justify this claim, he points out that archaeologists discovered such a Palean basket in Lithos. In addition, he cites that there were no boats which can carry groups of people and cargo were developed thousands of years after Palean people disappeared. However, this argument relies on a series of unwarranted hypothesis, which contribute to it's premature (its prematurity).

The author makes an assumption that Palean people could get across the river only by boats capable of carrying groups of people and cargo. Yet, there is no evidence to validate this scenario. There is a good chance that Palean people crossed the Brim River by small boats which were able to carry one or two people and a few cargo (cargos).  What's more, the author even uses an uncertain reason that ancient Paleans did not have boats. Nevertheless, this is a ridiculous(觉得这个词用得不太好，似乎带贬义) claim. Since there is no evidence to show that the Paleans had boats, we could not conclude that they did not have boats. （需要再展开，就这么一句，感觉有点突兀） In the absence of clearly evidence that Paleans did not have boats, the author cannot substantiate that Palean baskets were not unique to Palean.

In addition, the argument overlooks other possible explanations for that Paleans crossed the river. It is totally potential that Paleans needed woods which were only grew (grown) on the other side of Brim River. Or perhaps they planted crops in that land since soil on the other side of the river was more rich in minerals and good for plants. (好例子)Moreover, they may be trade with people on the other side of river and exchanged necessity with those people. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's claim remains dubious at best.

Finally, even if those assumptions are sufficient, the argument relies on the additional scenario that the descendants of Paleans have never been to the other side of Brim River.  If (If) it turns out to be true, then the author's notion that other areas also have Palean baskets would have merits. Or it has not. absent (Absent) evidence to eliminate those aspects, the argument is unjustified.（我觉得这一段可以并到第一个错误里面去写，错误类型一样，都是讲P可以到别的地方去）
In sum, the author's recommendation is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, the author should indicate that Paleans did not have boats. In order to better evaluate the argument, we need more information about the trace of Paleans' descendants.（结尾没有总结全文，只是拎了两个错误点来提建议）

漏了反驳一个论据：Moreover, Paleans would have had no need to cross the river—the woods around Palea are full of nuts, berries, and small game.

fayafayUID: 2743416

Do any leads in power should step down after five years? The author claims so, by the reason that new leadership would make great progress. It is true that innovation in leadership should be ensured, however, the frequency(感觉用这个词有点怪) had better to be five years is remained uncertain.

First and foremost, it is a (an) efficient way that leaders in power resign after several years to make the company, government and so forth to be vigor. As we all known, innovation is a vital factor for any institutions to flourish. With new leaders joining the teams, new ideas, different prospects for viewing problems are brought to the teams. In return, the productivity will be increased. Let's supposed (suppose) a plot in a company which is a traditional manufactory in China. （论点中的government在论述中似乎没有提及）

The (If a) old (去掉) leader president (has presided) the company for 20 years and consequently he becomes (will become) dispassionate. As a result, employees in the company dispassionate and the productivity are weakening. (这里感觉有点乱，稍稍改了下, which will influence the spirit of the employees, and as a result, the productivity will be weakened.) If the old leader (看到old leader第一反应是老领导= = ，就用leader吧~) resigned, and a new president took over his position, with new blood coming to the company, there will be a boom again. Common sense tells me that when we work with passionate ones, we will affected by them and become vigorous too. (这一段为什么要单独出来呢？建议跟上一段合并~)
In addition, long-positioned leaders would become arrogant, and (they tend to) adapt (适应？) autocratic principles in their field. There are many examples in the politics. For instance, the first Chinese president(Chairman,咱们的这个是主席~) Mao Zedong, who is a great man in his youth and develops Chinese people's living standards, turned to be bureaucratic in his later years. In 1960s, he 发动(= = 中文呐~) the ten year's revolution which affected millions of families and leaded (led) to (去掉) those families (to) live in miserable lives which other politicians made great disapproval of (toward) his decision. This example tells us that long-time leadership does really harm to our country.

Wonderful though the suggestion that people in power should resign is, there is no evidence showing how many years is a good term for leadership. While innovation is a fundamental part of benign leadership, stability also plays an essential key role in leadership. If our management is not stable, employees will wonder how to continue their work.

Logically, different leaders adopt different principles in the management. Imagining when employees just become suit for (get used to) a policy, then the manager be (is) changed and a new leader publishs (publishes) a different policy. Consequently, the stability will be undermined. Still, no information indicates us that five years is a perfect term for leader ship. (觉得这段写的很argument)

The (term of the) American president is four years, maybe in politics four years is a good term. However, this term (避免太多term的重复，跟上一句合并为while it) may not suit for business. Considering different field has their own characteristics, the five years' suggestion is not fit for the whole.

Without innovation, our society cannot make great progress and suffer a risk to depress. Without stability, any organizations cannot operate in a normal way and in turn employees become desperate to the management. For my point of view, in order to prosper team it is better to combine innovation and stability together. That is to say profession in power should resign in a proper time, may be five years, or not.

after17UID: 2681985

第十次作业
TOPIC: ISSUE56 - "Governments should focus more on solving the immediate problems of today rather than trying to solve the anticipated problems of the future."
WORDS: 493
TIME: 01:15:14
DATE: 2010/2/6 22:59:34

It is true that sometimes government should pay more attention to solve the immediate problems of today rather than to solve the future problems. However, in certain period, we had better emphasis on problems of the future at first. Therefore I cannot agree with the statement.

First and foremost, conceding that it is a profound idea to solve problems for now before we take actions to future problems sometimes, since in such information and highly developed society, there are enormous vital problems remain to be solved. Recent year, influencing by the financial crisis, a myriad of companies run bankrupt. As a result, millions of people become layoff so they have to hunt new jobs. However, it is difficult for them to do so, owing to the depression in economy. With the unemployment, people's lives are miserable and some of them may even hunt jobs while suffer from starvation. At this time government should centralize the work on how to prosper the economy of the nation other than deal with other things. If government pays little attention to this problem, we can image that people living in a miserable life would commit crime or even rise rebellion Then the country will suffer difficulties and in a unstable situation. This may worse the condition in the country since foreigners do not intend to invest in a unsteady nation.
So under such circumstance, government should focus more on solving current problems.

Nevertheless, long-term programmes, still play a key role in our life, thus we cannot ignore them. For example, education for youth will pay much more than we expend. Youth is the future of one country, because when they grow up, it is their duty to flourish their hometown. If they are lacking of necessary knowledge to make solutions for their nation, what is the future of the nation? The answer is on the surface: the country will remain undeveloped. In this way education for youth cannot be ignored. Correspondingly, problems of future are crucial in peaceful time and should be solved at first time.

In addition, another problem involving environment has to be solved immediately. In human history, there are several disasters involving environmental problems. For instance, the big smog, a severe air pollution event that affected London in 1952, comes to my mind. Collected airborne pollutants mostly from the use of coal to form a thick layer of smog over the city. Thousands of people had died and tens of thousands people were ill due to the effects of smog on human respiratory tract. This example suggests that substantial development is essential thus anticipated problems of the future have the priority for being solved.

Considering all those facets, I draw the conclusion that we should not emphasis too much on one side of the total problem. In different situations, the ordinal work changes. Without solving present difficulties, our nation will not be stable; with future problems leaving unsolved, we cannot expect our nation flourishing.



TOPIC: ARGUMENT76 - The following appeared as part of an article in a health and beauty magazine.

"A group of volunteers participated in a study of consumer responses to the new Luxess face cream. Every morning for a month, they washed their faces with mild soap and then applied Luxess. At the end of that month, most volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. Thus it appears that Luxess is truly effective in improving the condition of facial skin."
WORDS: 397
TIME: 00:57:15
DATE: 2010/2/6 22:59:34
错误 1 样本不具有代表性

2 可能是MILD SOAP天气情况导致改善 或者心理作用

3 可能有副作用
At first glance, this editorial appears plausibly to be well-reasoned. The author advocates that Luxess has truly effect on improving the condition of facial skin. To justify this claim, the arguer points out that after a month of usage of Luxess volunteers reported a marked improvement in the way their skin looked and felt. However, this argument contains a series of flaws, which contributes to its prematurity.

The survey depends on volunteers' response to draw the conclusion that Luxess is effective in improving the condition of facial skin. However, the arguer fails to provide any information about the total population of the nation or what fraction of respondents of the whole population. The greater this number, the less credible the survey. In addition, we are not sure if the respondents are honest, maybe they give false answers since they are bribe by the company. Therefore, unless it can be indicated that those volunteers is representative of all people, I am not convinced by the assertion.

Moreover, even assuming the respondents have an improvement in their skin the author makes an additional hypothesis that there is a causal relationship between Luxess and the improvement of skins. Yet, there is no evidence to validate this scenario. There is a good chance that it is the mild soap that related to the improvement. Or perhaps in such weather, everyone's skin will look better and as a result, we cannot be sure it is the Luxess's function. Moreover, it may be a psychological effect of the volunteer that they thought their skin looked better and felted. In reality, their skin remained the same as usual. In the absence of clearly evidence that Luxess contributes to improvement of skin, the author cannot substantiate the claim.

Finally, while this may be true in some cases, a month is too short to justify the function of Luxess. We are not able to test the side effect of Luxess, in respect that such effects may occur in later time. Common sense tells me that nearly all cosmetics have bad effects. Unless eliminating those assumptions, the conclusion is unwarranted.

In sum, the arguer's recommendation is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, we should know the representative of volunteers. In order to better evaluate the editorial, more information about the casual relationship between Luxess and improvement are needed. Or this declare has no merits.

after17UID: 2681985

第十次作业
TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 449
TIME: 00:49:53
DATE: 2010/2/7 10:55:08
错误 1 可能只有她一个植物学老师，所以不能证明她受欢迎

2 其他教授带来的钱不知道

3 即使她带来的钱多也不能证明她科研能力强

4不能证明她会离开学校
At first glance, this report appears to be plausibly well-reasoned. The author advocates that the school should give Professor Thomas a raise and promotion. To justify this claim, the author cites that Professor Thomas' classes are among the largest at the university. In addition, he points out that Professor Thomas has brought much money to the school. However, this argument contains a series of flaws, which contributes to its prematurity.

First and foremost, the author makes an assumption that students have a myriad of choices of class. Yet, in the absence of the fact that how many botany professors are in Elm City University, it is equally possible that Professor Thomas is the only botany professor in the university, which means that students have no choice but to choose her classes. Or perhaps enormous students are required to attend her classes for some reasons. Therefore, unless it can be indicated students' preference for Professor Thomas's classes, I am not convinced by the assertion that Professor Thomas is popular among students.

Furthermore, the mere fact that the money Professor Thomas has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary is not sufficient. Unless the author provides the evidence that how many grants do other professors brought. There is a good chance that the money she brought is not as much as other professors did. If this is true, then credibility of the statement is undermined. Lacking of such evidence, the author cannot validate that Professor Thomas has brought great benefit to the university.

Even assuming that Professor Thomas has brought much to the university, the report relies on an additional hypothesis that her research abilities are perfect. As we all know that numerous facets have relationship with research abilities. For example, researchers have to make progress in the field they studying. Or a good professor is able to

Granted that the scenarios discussed above are accurate, there is no evidence to imply that without a raise and promotion Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University. Maybe the salary in the university is the highest among all the universities or Professor Thomas likes the atmosphere in Elm City University that she does not want to leave. Or it is likely that facilities in Elm City University are better and more convenient for doing research. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's declaration remains dubious at best.

In sum, the speaker's recommendation is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, we need more information about the students' preference and the grants other professors brought. In order to better evaluate the report, the author should provide evidence showing that Professor Thomas will leave without a raise and promotion.

after17UID: 2681985

第二轮第一次作业：

主题：教育类
高频前60：

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

50"In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

153"Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

112"Some educational systems emphasize the development of students' capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, but students would benefit more from an education that also taught them to explore their own emotions."

5、"A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."