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[感想日志] 1006G[redemption]备考贴 by after17 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-9 10:46:17 |显示全部楼层
第一次作业:

主题:教育类
高频前60:

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

提纲
1.        基本否定观点。孩子的社会化对社会来说确实很重要,但是不表示决定社会的命运。并且在一些情况下我们能够很好的教育孩子
2.        指出社会化的重要性。现在很多孩子注重个性,而不注重合作。而当今社会的一个重要主题就是学会合作。有些孩子的社会责任感差,导致自私,不愿意帮助别人
3.        除了社会化还有很多东西可以影响社会的未来。(1)比如诚实,坚毅等品格。Eg,周恩来坚持自己的梦想最终使中国胜利。(2) 同样创新也将导致社会进步。Eg 电脑的发明大大加快了社会发展
4.        大多数家长都很重视孩子的教育问题。他们经过不断地实践,能够培养出很优秀的孩子。他们给孩子传输勇敢,不断专研,等思想。他们同样鼓励孩子们参加社会活动,如当志愿者,
5.        所以否定该观点

50"In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

提纲
1.        基本否定该观点。让教师去外面工作应该分情况而定。实践性的学科可以,而纯理论的东西没必要
2.        在实践性的学科中教师出去工作,可以丰富教学内容使得上课和实践联系的更紧密。也为学生找工作等提供了优势。Eg 人资的老师出去工作~
3.        但是纯理论性的学科没必要去。因为这些课程和实际联系不紧密。更重要的是这样会分散教师的精力,使得他们没有时间专注自己的课题。并且这些学科更加注重理论成果。
4.        有些教师被外面所提供的高额工资迷惑,把工作中心转移至外面的工作。导致教学质量下降。
5.        所以不同意观点

153"Students should bring a certain skepticism to whatever they study. They should question what they are taught instead of accepting it passively."

提纲
1.        基本同意该观点。有怀疑才会有进步
2.        在科学的领域只有怀疑才能够推翻旧的理论,从而得到正确的理论。Eg 哥白尼的日心说
3.        学生在学习新的知识中不断质疑才会把知识掌握的更牢。同样能够对所学的知识有更深的理解。为在此基础上创新打下基础
4.        过分的质疑将会导致社会混乱。(这里具体没想好咋论述)
5.        所以同意该观点

51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

提纲
1.        不同意,每个学生的需要不相同,不可能满足每个学生。并且有些课程学生不喜欢但是又有开的必要
2.        确实兴趣是最好的老师,学生有兴趣的话学起来更加轻松。因而取得成就的可能性越大. Eg 举生活中的例子(XX因为对某门课感兴趣,后来获得全国大奖)
3.        但是一方面学校资源有限,不能满足所有学生的要求。另一方面,有些学生不喜欢物理,或者文学,但是这些课程不能不开。学生对自己的需要有时候不能很好的理解。再者,某些道德教育课(Moral education courses)是每个学校都必须开的。目的是培养正确的道德观。
4.        教育应该在注重学生兴趣的同时添加一些必要课程。学生也应该学习除了兴趣之外的东西把自己培养成复合型人才(with complexity of knowledge)。
5.        所以不同意

112"Some educational systems emphasize the development of students' capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, but students would benefit more from an education that also taught them to explore their own emotions."

提纲
1.        同意该观点。现代社会需要全面型(full-scale talents)的人才。因此教育还应该注重学生感情的培养(emotional eqotient)
2.        Reasoning and logical thinking的重要性。对自然科学的总要性。Eg 反例,如果哥白尼没有逻辑思维,他不可能发现日心说
3.        而情感的教育同样重要。情商教育有助于丰富人的性格,提高人的道德层次。同样有利于兴趣的培养。因而能够促进自然科学的发展。
4.        一个人如果不能很好的调节自己的情绪,那么他便会受制于自己的负面情绪slave to negative emotion。从而影响学习工作和生活。甚至危害社会。Eg 维吉尼亚大学枪击事件
5.        教育应该在逻辑思维和情商教育里找到平衡(on balance)逻辑思维使得我们能够更好的学习知识。情商使我们更好的生活。

5、"A nation should require all its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college rather than allow schools in different parts of the nation to determine which academic courses to offer."
提纲
1.        国家制定与地方制定相结合。
2.        国家制定可以消除差异,使得大学利于教学。因为学生处于同一水平。Eg 反例。没有统一课表使得教学混乱
3.        统一课表能够提供更广的视角和范围。因为全国专家一起制定课表。同时统一课表还可以节省花费。全国只需一套课表,不用各地在制定
4.        统一课表不能考虑不同地方的差异,师资等条件。EG有些穷的地方根本买不起电脑,却要开设电脑课。
5.        所以应该全国与地方相结合。全国制定一些基本课程,比如语言,数学,历史等。地方制定符合自己的课程。
believe myself

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美版版主 Cancer巨蟹座 荣誉版主 AW活动特殊奖 GRE梦想之帆 GRE斩浪之魂 GRE守护之星 US Assistant US Applicant

发表于 2010-2-11 23:14:05 |显示全部楼层
你留的链接有问题,不知道是不是让我改这篇。。。




原文逻辑链如下:
1.
Largest Classespopularity among students
2.
过去两年她在研究上给学校带来的研究经费超过她的薪水
1&2receive a $10,000 raise & promotion to Department Chairperson

If not
leave Elm City University for another college

Argument可以攻击的逻辑错误点:
1.
Largest classes不代表在学生中受欢迎,可能她的课时必修课,又只有她一个老师上这么课,学生不得不选她的课,所以才会是largest classes.所以她在teaching上的贡献不一定大。
2.
过去两年在研究上给学校带来的研究经费超过她的薪水不代表她在research上的贡献大。首先,仅仅过去两年的情况不能代表她一直在research上贡献很大;其次,缺乏与其他professor之间的比较,可能大家都能拿这么多research的经费,可能她比其他人拿的反而少呢?
3.
即使她在teachingresearch上的贡献确实很大,也不一定要给她加工资并且promotion to Department Chairperson,首先她适合做teachingresearch但是可能不适合做chairperson;其次,她可能根本就不想做chairperson也没想过要加工资,没有任何证据表明如果我们不给她加工资并且promotion她就会离开ECU

错误 1 可能只有她一个植物学老师,所以不能证明她受欢迎

2 其他教授带来的钱不知道

3 即使她带来的钱多也不能证明她科研能力强

4不能证明她会离开学校
At first glance, this report appears to be plausibly well-reasoned. The author advocates that the school should give Professor Thomas a raise and promotion. To justify this claim, the author cites that Professor Thomas' classes are among the largest at the university. In addition, he points out that Professor Thomas has brought much money to the school. However, this argument contains a series of flaws, which contributes to its prematurity.
Argument的开头最好不要去重复叙述题目里的内容,因为题目里的内容rater比你清楚。最好的开头方法应该是能清晰简短地指出题目中的逻辑错误,暗示你的文章的驳论顺序,让rater一看第一段就觉得你思路 非常清晰,逻辑非常严密,而且知道你下文将要如何展开。记住,首段的任务是直截了当地指出题目中的逻辑错误,废话不要太多,你这段话还是太模板化了。关于首段的写法建议你去搜索一下666版主的argument开头的那篇文章,会很有启发的~

First and foremost, the author makes an assumption that students have a myriad of choices of class.(这句TS没有直截了当地指出题目的逻辑错误,rater要转个弯才能想到你这句话在反驳题目的哪个逻辑错误点,这样的句子显然不适合做TS,比较合适的TS应该是:Professor Thomas’s popularity among the students is questionable only by depending on the fact that her class is the largest.然后再进行论证,论证时注意develop your ideas logically,而合理的他因是论证的关键,如何develop an idea,这是需要努力摸索和不断训练才能掌握的。) Yet, in the absence of the fact that how many botany professors are in Elm City University, it is equally possible that Professor Thomas is the only botany professor in the university, which means that students have no choice but to choose her classes. Or perhaps enormous students are required to attend her classes for some reasons.what reasons? argument里不要出现这种模棱两可的文字,要specific and details,这是ETS非常看重的,否则你的论证就没有说服力) Therefore, unless it can be indicated students' preference for Professor Thomas's classes, I am not convinced by the assertion that Professor Thomas is popular among students.

Furthermore, the mere fact that the money Professor Thomas has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary is not sufficientnot sufficient for what? 这句TS也没有表达清楚). Unless the author provides the evidence that how many grants do other professors brought. There is a good chance that the money she brought is not as much as other professors did. If this is true, then credibility of the statement is undermined. Lacking of such evidence, the author cannot validate that Professor Thomas has brought great benefit to the university.

Even assuming that Professor Thomas has brought much to the university, the report relies on an additional hypothesis that her research abilities are perfect. As we all know that numerous facets have relationship with research abilities. For example, researchers have to make progress in the field they studying. Or a good professor is able to (这里没写完吧,建议你把这一段和上一段合起来反驳题目中的一个逻辑错误点,即TS Professor Thomas’s research ability is not necessarily to be perfect. 然后分别说一下money的问题和其他与研究能力相关的qualities的问题。)

Granted that the scenarios discussed above are accurate,(这个从句逻辑明显错误,一看就是没经过仔细思考在套模板,“即使上面所讨论的东西是精确的”,意思是“即使上面我的文章的反驳是精确的”,而实际上你想说的是“即使上面被我反驳的点都成立”,即Even granted that Professor Thomas is doing quite a good job both in teaching and research.你这样说逻辑不就倒过来了吗?) there is no evidence to imply that without a raise and promotion Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University. Maybe the salary in the university is the highest among all the universities or Professor Thomas likes the atmosphere in Elm City University that she does not want to leave. Or it is likely that facilities in Elm City University are better and more convenient for doing research. Without ruling out these possibilities, the author's declaration remains dubious at best.(这一段的论证部分还是挺不错的)

In sum, the speaker's recommendation is ill conceived and poorly supported. To strengthen the argument, we need more information about the students' preference and the grants other professors brought. In order to better evaluate the report, the author should provide evidence showing that Professor Thomas will leave without a raise and promotion.

Die luft der Freiheit weht
the wind of freedom blows

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RE: 1006G[redemption]备考贴 by after17 [修改]

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