独立写作

stefanie299UID: 2667762

Should university students should be required to take basic science classes even if there are not part of the field of the study?

There are many opposite viewpoints about whether university students should take part in the basic science classes. Some people hold the certainly response that taking basic science classes could generate more benefits for them, because they might have more chances to learn more knowledge, however, other take the converse point that it is unnecessary for them to have the basic science classes, for they do not have plentiful time to learn such a subsidiary subject and, it is also a nonprofessional subject. In my opinion, the consequent decision would rely on a detailed analysis in different circumstances.

Some students take the optimism standpoints about the issue, by learning basic science classes would help them extend their thoughts in a large extend, because the basic science is a strong logical subject ,which would work a complementary role for most of students in learning other subjects. Meanwhile, evolving excellent logic could make them achieve success easier, for instance, the logical ability could help for enhancing one's capable of expressing when he/she attend a content of argument.

Other people, however, hold such opinion that there are many insurmountable reasons for them that they do not need study the subject of basic science. First, they would not have enough time to take the basic science classes as their schedule plan filled many compulsory things, such as there are lots of papers and experiments with their major subjects. Second, they are more willing to save the time that attend the basic science classes then spend it on some certain things which are more meaningful for them such as plan a plan of career in the future, and attend some importance of lectures etc.

In conclusion, although taking basic science classes may mean mining meaning for someone, it si necessary for us to take basic science classes, because the existence of which still has its own irreplaceable value and plays an important role in today's society , which working a catalysis function for us to cultivate the integrated skill about our lives of study and career in the future.

armstrongUID: 204256

Should university students should be required to take basic science classes even if there are not part of the field of the study?

There are many opposite viewpoints about whether university students should take part in the basic science classes. Some people hold the certainly response that taking basic science classes could generate more benefits for them（themselves）, because they might have more chances to learn more knowledge, however, other take(语法错误)  the converse point that it is unnecessary for them to have the basic science classes, for they do not have plentiful time to learn such a subsidiary subject and我觉得位置不对, it is also a nonprofessional subject. In my opinion, the consequent decision would rely on a detailed analysis in different circumstances.  R1


似乎楼主考过GRE，风格很像，我觉得第一段写的很饱满。
Some students take the optimism standpoints about the issue, by learning basic science classes would help them extend their thoughts in a large extend（by不是连词吧）, because the basic science is a strong logical subject ,which would work a complementary role （play ….role）for most of students in learning other subjects. Meanwhile, evolving excellent logic could make them achieve success easier, for instance(没有连词就出现了两个句子), the logical ability could help for enhancing one's capable of expressing when he/she attend a content of argument.  PS：楼主语言很到位，我也很理解，不过我觉得犯了托福一个大忌，托福要求detail，，specific而不是仅仅光喊slogan,加入一些看似好笑弱智的细节，能得高分，您这里仅仅是在说理，不知道你同意吗？）美国人的思维是 take example.

Other people, however, hold such opinion that there are many insurmountable(呵呵，GRE风格，呵呵北美范文) reasons for them that they do not need study the subject of（罗嗦，有凑字数嫌疑）去掉也不影响理解 basic science. First, they would not have enough time to take the basic science classes as their schedule plan filled many compulsory things, such as there are lots of papers and experiments with their major subjects（such as 后面能跟，名词性成分，比如介宾，动名词，名词，等等，你这里是个句子）. Second, they are more willing to save the time that attend the basic science classes then spend it on some certain things which are more meaningful(我也超爱用这个词) for them such as plan a plan of career in the future, and attend some importance of lectures etc.etc别用，省略说法，这个句子在看看吧，我觉得别扭）

In conclusion, although taking basic science classes may mean mining meaning for someone(似乎薄饼那里这样讲，当从句主语和主句主语一致时候，并且是be助动词的时候省略从组主语，不过你这里，，，我们可以下来讨论一下。 , it is necessary for us to take basic science classes, because the existence of which still has its own irreplaceable value and plays an important role in today's society , which working a catalysis function 我知道你这样可能认为老外感觉词汇量大，不过我觉得一味的追求高深词效果不好 positive impact 这里我太懂，因为我们见过有native里这样用的。  for us to cultivate the integrated skill about our lives of study and career in the future.

建议，我觉得楼主功底了得，不过我觉得有时候你在刻意的写长难句，这样下来有两个原因，1 觉得长难句高分，不是这样的。 2 可能一写就收不住了，我觉得多练习一下圆周句，
总体感觉写的很气势，不过缺少detail ，，有空讨论，加油！

linawanggtaUID: 2708273

There are many opposite viewpoints about whether universitystudents should take part in the basic science classes. Some people hold thecertainly response that taking basic science classes could generate morebenefits for them, （by offering adequate chances of learning fundamental knowledge because 换成by的形式
）because they mighthave more chances to learn more knowledge, however, other take the conversepoint that it is unnecessary for them to have the basic science classes, forthey do not have plentiful time to learn such a subsidiary subject and, it isalso a nonprofessional subject. In my opinion, the consequent decision wouldrely on a detailed analysis in different circumstances.+ H) p% t; r; q2 H+ i+ ^

$ r: v8 }( X/ F! c/ b0 \/ SSomestudents take the optimism standpoints about the issue(额觉得主题句简单点，前半部分可以不要),
by（by要去掉） learning basicscience classes would help them extend their thoughts in(to a largeextend) a large extend, because the basic science is a strong logicalsubject ,which would work a complementary role for most of students in learningother subjects. Meanwhile, evolving excellent logic could make them achievesuccess easier, for instance, the logical ability could help for enhancingone's capable of expressing when he/she attend a content of argument.( E" F# d' X3 e! I$ q8 J% h

9 j( r. H+ P/ z) s4 q( pOtherpeople, however, hold such opinion that there are many insurmountable reasonsfor them that they do not need study the subject of basic science.（为啥每段话都要加谁说的呢?第一句话是这段的主题句应简明扼要，如果前面加人做主语，比如这个句子两个从句显得比较冗长）
First,they would not have enough time to take the basic science classes as theirschedule plan filled many compulsory things, such as there are lots of papers andexperiments with their major subjects. Second, they are morewilling to save the time （这句话有点冗长，save precious time for more meaningful and practical classes pavingthe road to professional success in the future.）that attend the basicscience classes then spend it on some certain things which are more meaningfulfor them such as plan a plan of career in the future, and attend someimportance of lectures etc.1 ]7 }1 B& J8 d; C; n 这句话


5 `" F5 `$ d0 O( x% M% @8 r9 y9 `Inconclusion, although taking basic science classes may mean mining meaning forsomeone, it si necessary for us to take basic science classes, because theexistence of which still has its own irreplaceable value and plays an importantrole in today's society , which working a catalysis function for us tocultivate the integrated skill about our lives of study and career in thefuture(这段要改，想应该是时间不够了，没有把观点写清楚)
Remark: 菠萝王子的词汇量还是不错的。但是文章每段的观点，可以鲜明点。主题句+展开论述+例子（optional）+总结（optional）
句式： because 用得比较多，可以换些句型。其实because是可以少用的，文章脉络清楚时，不需要太多because里介绍

stefanie299UID: 2667762

2.17作文
To solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past

Undoubtably, looking back is compulsory for us solving the problems present and future. Such a method or habit is not only good for us to generate our own merits, but it also working a role of  excellent guider who lead us to go to the way of success with making unnecessary mistakes as less as possible.

First, we must rely on the past in order to handle problems of present and future, because the past means experiences and knowledge, which we gained from numerous experiments and practice, so we become to know best about ourselves from past, thus could accelerate our efficiency on doing anything. Take myself as an example, when I decide to learn play piano and hesitate to choose what the curriculum will be most fittest for me, I would analyze of my own level is element or medium, then I would make a consequent decision much easier at less time. In addition, if a designer of progress of computer game is suspend to improve an explored computer game and cannot find a step to deal with, he/she may gain the suggestion and proposal from players, whom knew the drawbacks of the game they played. Therefore, others’ experience in the past could help such an explorer in dilemma situation to solve what the problem he/she face at present.

Moreover, knowing the past can help us to cultivate an accurate altitude to solve the difficulties when we encounter at now or in the future. Wildly speaking, the present is generally believed as the past of the future, we can resolve problem by the knowledge we learned past. majority of students, for instance, they can not only solve the difficult problems from various subject with the knowledge learned from past, but also study best at present, learn the useful knowledge at class, to deal with the issue that they will confront in the future. For example, when they face the problem in the test of mathematic, they should apply what they learned form class such as the operation formulations to solve problems by themselves.

In conclusion, I believe that we can learn much from the past, in which we can not only get more experiences to handle the problem whatever we encounter at present or in future more efficient, but also help us developing the good habit of working and study.

hulinlin24UID: 2731389

Should university students should be required to take basic science classes even if there are not part of the field of the study?
H! m5 `

There are many opposite viewpoints about whether university students should take part in the basic science classes. Some people hold the certainly response that taking basic science classes could generate more benefits for them（好句子）, because they might have more chances to learn more knowledge, however, other take the converse point（好词） that it is unnecessary for them to have the basic science classes, for they do not have plentiful time to learn such a subsidiary subject and, it is also a nonprofessional subject. In my opinion, the consequent decision would rely on a detailed analysis in different circumstances（赞）h: I
. D2 M  y/ z& y1 f. C' o9 Y" ~

Some students take the optimism standpoints about the issue, by（去掉） learning basic science classes would help them extend their thoughts in a large extend（重复了，去掉后面的）, because the basic science is a strong logical subject ,which would work a complementary role for most of students in learning other subjects. Meanwhile, evolving excellent logic could make them achieve success easier, for instance, the logical ability could help for enhancing one's capable of expressing when he/she attend a content of argument.( E; h$ q) K8 K: p$ E

Other people, however, hold such opinion that there are many insurmountable reasons for them that they do not need study the subject of basic science. First, they would not have enough time to take the basic science classes as their schedule plan filled many compulsory things, such as there are lots of papers and experiments with their major subjects. Second, they are more willing to save the time（两点感觉意思重复了，都是说浪费时间，可以改一点改成浪费精力或者别的，要不就归纳成一点）that attend the basic science classes then spend it on some certain things which are more meaningful for them such as plan a plan of career in the future, and attend some importance of lectures etc.* A6 D; Z% U: G5 Z3 N

In conclusion, although taking basic science classes may mean mining meaning for someone, it si necessary for us to take basic science classes, because the existence of which still has its own irreplaceable value and plays an important role in today's society , which working a catalysis function for us to cultivate the integrated skill about our lives of study and career in the future.

先道个歉哈。。今天事情比较多，拖到现在才改作文，对不起了
划线的句子和词就是我觉得用得好的好词好句。。很赞
这个童鞋的词汇非常丰富，很值得我学习，有的单词我还看不懂，惭愧啊= =# 阐述和句子的应用都很流畅
不过，这个童鞋，你的算是中立态度，我不得不说这样的文章蛮难得高分的，T的作文最好是支持某一边，要两边都说的话，也建议偏重于某一边，就是写3段式，2段一边好的，一段另一边的
然后最好每段都能有些细节和例子使文章更具体化
加油哦。。↖(^ω^)↗你很厉害呢
BY 狐狸

dairymanUID: 2683905

2.17作文7 B" {0 T# P3 f2 ^8 E" g0 Q  c' Z
To solve problems present and future is it necessary to understand the past说实话我感觉题目语法有问题

v% T, `6 ]( ^, b# ^1 C
Undoubtably, looking back is compulsory for us solving the problems present and future. Such a method or habit is not only good for us to generate our own merits, but it also working语法有问题，此处必然不能是进行时态，work这个词在这里也搭配不妥 a role of  excellent guider who lead us to go to the way of success with making unnecessary mistakes as less as possible.
* n" k- B( W. z  o( R. [, }8 i
First, we must rely on the past in order to handle problems of present and future, because the past means experiences and knowledge, which we gained from numerous experiments and practice, so前面because了，同一个句子后面还能so么 we become to know best about ourselves from past, thus could accelerate our efficiency （on）in doing anything. Take myself as an example, when I decide to learn play piano and hesitate to choose what the curriculum will be most fittestmost fittest？ for me, I would analyze of my own level is element or medium一个句子两个动词：analyze和is，语法错误, then I would make a consequent decision much easier （at）介词表示在xx时间里貌似应该用in less time. In addition, if a designer of progress of computer game is suspended to improve an explored computer game and cannot find a step to deal with, he/sheNB写法，但我建议 别打斜杠 may gain the suggestion and proposal from players, whom语法有问题，此处应用who knew the drawbacks of the game they played. Therefore, others’ experience in the past could help such an explorer in dilemma situation to solve what the problem he/she face at present。这个例子貌似是在说反馈的重要性，和过去与现在未来没关系似的，如果想突出玩家过去与现在的互补，可以说玩家打不过去关了想想原来怎么过的吧，把游戏开发者扯进来容易乱，不好捋清楚…….6
Moreover, knowing the past can help us to cultivate an accurate altitude单词用错 to solve the difficulties when we encounter at now or in the future. Wildly单词用错 speaking, the present is generally believed as the past of the future, we can resolve单词用的不对吧 problem by the knowledge we learned in the past. The majority of students, for instance, （they）应该省略了，语法错误 can not only solve the difficult problems from various subject with the knowledge learned from past, but also study best at present, learn the useful knowledge （at ）介词不当in the class, to deal with the issue that they will confront in the future. For example, when they face the problem in the test of mathematic, they should apply what they learned form class such as the operation formulations to solve problems by themselves.这段什么意思我没太看明白……想必最后一个例子举得不够鲜明
In conclusion, I believe that we can learn much from the past, in which we can not only get more experiences to handle the problem whatever we encounter at present or in future more efficient, but also help us developing the good habit of working and study.结尾有点像跑题啊，developing good habit是想说什么？
总结一下，单词运用了很多高端单词，很好，不匮乏；思维的辩证性和逻辑性问题不大
但是低级语法错误太多，单词误用很严重，长难句错误太多，说明笔者火候还不到。举例我也没太明白，所以一定要挑点比较一目了然的例子，类似举游戏的例子实在不是高招，比游戏还好的例子很多呢，比如计算机的发展历程，么有过去的艰难过程，是难以发明计算机的，而正是对过去计算机配件的改进，才使得现代计算机更加便捷，快速和节省空间材料等等。

Mason.PDUID: 2592013

Undoubtably, looking back is compulsory for us solving the problems present and future. Such a method or habit is not only good for us to generate our own merits, but it also working a role of  excellent guider who lead us to go to the way of success with making unnecessary mistakes as less as possible.

V
First, we must rely on the past in order to handle problems of present and future, because the past means experiences and knowledge, which we gained from numerous experiments and practice, so we become to know best about ourselves from past, thus could accelerate our efficiency on doing anything.(这句子真长，读的我有点拗口。so接的是because引导的句子是吧。。) Take myself as an example, when I decide to learn play piano and hesitate to choose what the curriculum will be most fittest for me, I would analyze of my own level is element or medium（这句话读的也有点拗口，加个whether吧）, then I would make a consequent decision much easier at less time.（这个例子缺乏你对过去理解的这一种强调） In addition, if a designer of progress of computer game is suspend to improve an explored computer game and cannot find a step to deal with, he/she may gain the suggestion and proposal from players, whom knew the drawbacks of the game they played. Therefore, others’ experience in the past could help such an explorer in dilemma situation to solve what the problem he/she face at present.$ Y5 {% Y# b+ q# `3 ]. Z3 n/ W

Moreover, knowing the past can help us to cultivate an accurate altitude to solve the difficulties when we encounter at now or in the future. Wildly speaking, the present is generally believed as the past of the future, we can resolve problem by the knowledge we learned past. majority of students, for instance, they can not only solve the difficult problems from various subject with the knowledge learned from past, but also study best at present, learn the useful knowledge at class, to deal with the issue that they will confront in the future. For example, when they face the problem in the test of mathematic, they should apply what they learned form class such as the operation formulations to solve problems by themselves.（这个例子没有很好支持你的观点。你这段应该要表达的是学习过去可以给你一种正确的态度去处理问题。然后你说现在学生可以不仅用过去的方法还能有现在的方法去解决问题，但你的例子只说了过去，放在body1说貌似更好一点） + \6 x3 a* {! H7 Y8 Z3 p0 Y6 c
  Z1 C4 d% ?7 A" a0 B; L

In conclusion, I believe that we can learn much from the past, in which we can not only get more experiences to handle the problem whatever we encounter at present or in future more efficient, but also help us developing the good habit of working and study.

用词语法很好学习了，不解或有失偏颇之处欢迎探讨

stefanie299UID: 2667762

Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most important factor in successful development of country?

The education is the most important element in the development of a country—by Chairman mao who is one of the greatest presidents in the china. Indeed, whether a country is strong or not depend on the development of education, which is more fundamental than others supportable industries, and there are many components in the education, such as teacher, teaching resources, and educational facilities and so on, all of it decide whether a country is prosperous or not.

First of all, education is the basic factor in all of area and careers. The school is a place that cultivate many excellent people, who are not only from the technical area---white collar and engineer, but also basic industry such as blue collar and gray collar, the school send those person to various fields, to push the development of industry more flourish and elevate a country’s competitive position around the world.

In addition, the growing of a country is rely on one educational qualify. In other words, the relationship between the policy and educational resources must be linked so much. The political measure at present and circumstance in today’s society approve this point. for instance, jiabao hu who is the premier of china, indicates that the status of teacher should be superior than others profession, he shows that the government should be increase teacher’s average salary, and the teacher should be have more wellfare than before. Meanwhile, there are more teaching facilities built up with the benevolent funds from numerous entrepreneurs, and named it with them names, in the every campus of china, we can see the building of jiabin tian, and library of yifushao here and there.

Furthermore, the elevation of a country development depends on how much illiteracies it is. The improving school show more colorful world to people: nowadays, every school in china have computer classes, whatever the elementary school or high school, more even, in remote area have the computer rooms as well. The education plays more important role in village, for the developed and scarcity of teaching in needy area would drag the speed of development of a country. Therefore, the more improvement schools it is, the more success a country will be.

半夏之北UID: 2517498

The education is the most important element in the development of a country—by Chairman mao who is one of the greatest presidents in (the去掉) china. Indeed, whether a country is strong or not depends on the development of education, which is more fundamental than others supportable industries, and there are many components in the education, such as teacher, teaching resources, and educational facilities and so on, all of it(them) decide whether a country is prosperous or not.6 G' F; p& x( }, N. J
第二个句子太长了，而且没有看出来这个句子的目的是什么
First of all, education is the basic factor in all of areas and careers. The school is a place that cultivate many excellent people, who are not only from the technical area---white collar and engineer, but also basic industry such as blue collar and gray collar, the school send those person to various fields, to push the development of industry more flourish and elevate a country’s competitive position around the world.

z
: V! M( x
In addition, the growing of a country (is去掉） rely（relies） on one educational qualify. In other words, the relationship between the policy and educational resources must be linked so much. The political measure at present and circumstance in today’s society approve this point. for instance, jiabao hu（？？？？温家宝） who is the premier of China, indicates that the status of teachers should be superior than others profession, and he shows that the government should be increase teacher’s average salary, and the teacher should be have more wellfare than before. Meanwhile, there are more teaching facilities built up with the benevolent funds from numerous entrepreneurs, and named it with them names, in the every campus of China, we can see the building of jiabin tian, and library of yifushao here and there.  @3 ?+ P/ T  S# s  E; {3 J1 @
这一段和主题没什么关系啊......
Furthermore, the elevation of a country development depends on how much illiteracies it is. The improving school shows more colorful world to people: nowadays, every school in china have(has) computer classes, whatever the elementary school or high school, more even, in remote area schools have the computer rooms as well. The education plays more important role in village, for the developed and scarcity of teaching in needy area would drag the speed of development of a country. Therefore, the more improvement schools it is, the more success a country will be.
最后一段是总结段，应该用 in conclusion。
长句实在太长了，而且有错误
感觉上有点跑题，你的观点是improving schools确实对国家的发展有帮助，但是下面的分论点不明确，也没有具体的例子

showgood07UID: 2605959

The education is the most important element in the development of a country—by Chairman mao who is one of the greatest presidents in the china. Indeed, whether a country is strong or not depend on the development of education, which is more fundamental than others supportable industries, and there are many components in the education, such as teacher, teaching resources, and educational facilities and so on, all of it decide whether a country is prosperous or not..
开头段论述得非常好，用名人名言句总起，是不错的方法
First of all, education is the basic factor in all of area and careers. The school is a place that cultivate many excellent people, who are not only from the technical area---white collar and engineer, but also basic industry such as blue collar and gray collar, the school send those person to various fields, to push the development of industry more flourish and elevate a country’s competitive position around the world.

In addition, the growing of a country is rely on one educational qualify. In other words, the relationship between the policy and educational resources must be linked so much. The political measure at present and circumstance in today’s society approve this point. for instance, jiabao hu who is the premier of china(China), indicates that the status of teacher should be superior than others profession, he shows that the government should be increase teacher’s average salary, and the teacher should be have more wellfare than before. Meanwhile, there are more teaching facilities built up with the benevolent funds from numerous entrepreneurs, and named it with them names, in the every campus of china, we can see the building of jiabin tian, and library of yifushao here and there.

Furthermore, the elevation of a country development depends on how much illiteracies it is. The improving school show more colorful world to people: nowadays, every school in china have computer classes, whatever the elementary schoolsor high school, more even, in remote area have the computer rooms as well. The education plays more important role in village, for the developed and scarcity of teaching in needy area would drag the speed of development of a country. Therefore, the more improvement schools it is, the more success a country will be.

大量使用长句，有些需要注意，保证正确时第一的，文章有点在说大道理，在开头把论点放出来以后，就开始论述，但是缺乏必要的example和details来support。
行文很不错，有很多亮点词汇，学习了

stefanie299UID: 2667762

[b]Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom

Freedom of speech is a symbol of a country prosperous or not and it also a standard to measure its social atmosphere is open or not. Everyone who have a right to express her/his own understanding freely, which is play an extremely role in today's society, especially in an educational area. It is important that a professor share his/her opinions to his students in the classroom. No matter the opinion is sensitive or not. Thus may bring about more advantages to each other.

First of all, education should not be limited by certain sensitive political issues. As we know, school is such a place where is full of free academic atmosphere and an environment that everyone can express his/her respective viewpoint. For example, students, especially for elementary student whose limited comprehensive capability can not know a profound problem well. If their teacher can express his/her particular viewpoint about some difficult issues in class, which can make his/her students comprehend knowledge easier and imaginable.

Besides, teachers who can express their political or social concepts in class room may bring about more chances for students to acknowledge colorful world as well. Brainstorming, for instance, is an excellent way to make the atmosphere of class more vigorous. For example, when take part in a political class, talked about the Tibet issue, in the class room, my professor express his perspective and other opinions of other countries maintain media in this sensitive political issue. From his expression, we know more about diverse points at a certain accident, then he introduced us some foreigner website to know about more people who hold different points at this problem.

In a conclusion, we believe that understanding a phenomenon or evidence via expression by a teacher can enhance our study efficiency. Meanwhile, such a way to express and exchange our separate perspective at a certain issue may also incense our interesting in learning.

glly7UID: 2675646

3.25修改

stefanie299UID: 2667762

For successful development of a country, should a government focus its budget more on very young children education rather than on universities?

There are a substantial number of people think that university is a camp which is full of professional talents. And it also an important institute to send excellent people to conduct a country's building, improving the speed of a country development. However, for my part, government should put elementary education at a primary position in development of society.

In the first place, it is undeniable that elementary education plays an extremely role in modern world. Elementary education just like a infrastructure in building a society, and it is also a perfect embody that whether a country value education or not. In China, for instance, is operating the system of 9 years compulsory education. Government invest much more funds in education area in order to make every child in China could enjoy their own right to receive education. This measure greatly reduced the number of illiteracies in China, which is one of the most important factors to drag the speed of development in a country.

In the second place, governments should make their efforts to compulsory education, which may bring about more advantages for majorities of citizen. For example, if a teen-ager finished his elementary education, he may not worry about how he can live in himself even if his family can not afford him to receive further education. Because he can utilize what he learned to study a practical skill, become a blue collar or grey collar. Therefore, he can not only live by himself, but also improve his needy family situation.

What is more, government invest much funds in young children could reduce the criminal rate in society as well. After all, one's childhood and adolescence play important role in his whole life. Government should invest more money in building elementary education which comprise basic facilities and hire more excellent stuff. Meanwhile, elementary school authorities should put their important point in cultivating student's positive life outlook and value attitude, edify them try them best to become a person who can contribute their effort to country's development.

From what have been mentioned above, we have enough reason to believe that the measure that government should focus its budget more on children and teen-agers is beneficial to the whole society even all over the world. Moreover, its advantages would far outweigh it advantages.

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There are a substantial number of people think that university is a camp which is full of professional talents. And it (is) also an important institute to send excellent people to conduct a country's building啥？？, improving the speed of a country development--->the development of a country. However, for my part, government should put elementary education at a primary position in development of society前面说大学的好处突然转笔有点意外...

In the first place, it is undeniable that elementary education plays an extremely role in modern world. Elementary education just like an infrastructure in building a society-->in forming a moral society不知道你是这个意思不, and it is also a perfect embody that whether a country value education or not. In China, for instance, is operating the system of 9 years compulsory educatio vernment invest much more funds in education area in order to make every child in China could enjoy their own right to receive education-->in order to provide chances for every child to receive education. This measure greatly reduced the number of illiteracies in China:L , which is one of the most important factors to drag the speed of development in a country观点不错

In the second place, governments should make their efforts to compulsory education, which may bring about more advantages for majorities of citizen. For example, if a teen-ager连着写就行吧 finished his elementary education, he may not worry about how he can live in-->by himself even if his family can not afford him to receive further education. Because he can utilize这个词使用道具的比较多--use what he learned to study a practical skill, (to) become a blue collar or grey collar--->by working as a blue collar or a grey collar. Therefore, he can not only live by himself-->not only to be independent, but also improve his needy family situation.

at is more, government invest much funds in young children could reduce the criminal rate in society as well.恩很新颖啊 After all, one's childhood and adolescence play important roles in his whole life. Government should invest more money in building elementary education which comprise basic facilities and hire more excellent stuff. Meanwhile, elementary school authorities should put their important point in cultivating student's positive life outlook and value attitude, edify them try them...? best to become a person who can contribute their effort to country's development最后一句太长了而且算不上复杂句。TS很好很新颖但是段落没围绕这个写，不如开展啥啥教育的避免criminal

From what have been mentioned above, we have enough reasons to believe that the measure that government should focus its budget more on children and teen-agers is beneficial to the whole society even all over the world. Moreover, its advantages would far outweigh it advantages 词汇还好比较干练的，句子总是爱写长长的变化不多，语法细节问题这个我也有，单复数等等。总体3段都是写基础教育的好处可以在某个段落反着写下