草根修改铺(楼主不在）

leslinUID: 2571497

我的那篇难道被无视了吗......我的在32楼，互相改一改吧~~~~

dengbeiyinUID: 2765999

46# leslin
33楼已经帮你改了啊~~~~

leslinUID: 2571497

33# emteddybear
非常感谢指点~~~~

leslinUID: 2571497

47# dengbeiyin
不好意思哈，之后编辑的没有看到~~~~

emteddybearUID: 2699606

又来啦，改45楼，发现你写了好多字啊


(⊙o⊙)…dengbeiyin童鞋好像没有检查单词错误，你在重新放到Word里面检查一下，我再帮你改哈

emteddybearUID: 2699606

第一次限时失败，sign，鼓起勇气继续加油，再次感谢LZ，大家加油

88 "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
科学技术不但影响而且决定了社会风俗和道德规范。
1.因为科技，我们社会发生巨大变化，习俗和道德不可避免被影响。（我们过去喜欢在圣诞节用贺卡表达祝福，现在我们是用电子邮箱发送祝福，或者短信。过去，在维多利亚时代( Victorian times)，一家人空的时候会作游戏，会有家庭活动，而现在更多的是一家人各看各得电视.人们的观念也不断变化着。）遗传学的研究使人们认识到近亲结婚的坏处(intermarriage, genetics)
2.科技是不会决定我们的社会习俗和道德( 因为习俗和道德观念都是从古至今流传下来，几千年历史，而科技是近200年才出现的东西。而且科技进步太快，一时的流行，而习俗和伦理道德是永恒的东西。科技都是给以我们物质的满足，而习俗和道德之类内心的东西。比如科技再怎么进步，都不会改变父母对孩子的爱)，感恩节。即使外在的一些习俗表现变了，但是习俗本身代表社会意义没变。
3.相反，有时我们的社会习俗和道德成为决定科技走向的一个方面。（比如CLONE 技术之类，而且我们更多的关注环保技术的发展，这也是我们的道德决定我们这样做。）
所以我们要正确的看待科学对我们社会产生的影响，而不是一概而论。

TOPIC: ISSUE88 - "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
WORDS: 353
TIME: 00:45:00 +
00:45:00
DATE: 2010-3-2 22:27:25
第一次限时失败，只写了353,改了之后一共只有486 都不知道怎么发散了，指点一下下
As the development of technology, our society has been changed a lot. And I concede that the technology influence the social customs and ethics a lot, but I don't agree with that they are determined by the technologies.

First of all, the technologies, as the necessary tools, have changed our daily life a lot, which makes our social customs and ethics influenced. Sometimes, to make our life more comfortable, faster and more efficiency, we must choose the modern technologic methods and give up the old ways. For example, in the old time, we communicated with others far away from us by letters, which must cost a long time. And latter, we use telephones to talk to anyone who has a phone immediately. But now, besides the letter and the telephone, the widest used communication tools are emails or MSN, especially for our young. Additionally, in the past, people would like to get marriage with someone who had the kinship with us. But the technologies tell people that it is wrong to do this and it does not satisfy the theory of evolution, which would easily have disabled next generations. And this theory make us changed our marriage ideas in ethics, which follows the deep will for our flourish human beings.

However, the technologies will not determine our social customs and ethics. Social customs and ethics all come from the human nature, which has been with our human history and never will be changed. While the technologies are something popular and appeared in the latest 300 years, which are possibly old fashioned in some days. They only play as the role of our tools. Human beings, as the judge of the world, to create something, such as the technologies, to satisfied our need in our inner heart, whose carrier is our social customs and ethics. So no matter what the technologies would be, they cannot determine the social customs and ethics. Just as that whatever the society is, the fact that a mother loves her children will not be changed, that no matter how fast our life rhythm is, families will be together in Thanks giving day.

What's more, the technologies will be determined by our society customs and ethics. As mentioned above, the technologies are only the tools of human being. The driving source of the technologies is human needs. So society customs and ethics determine the trends of the technologies. For example, intent to understand our human beings body constructions, people make the reach of the biology and medical, which have achieved so much that people can copy ourselves. That is clone. But the program has collided with our esthetics, so the esthetics to determine that we must stop this program doing more reaches.

In conclusion, the technologies indeed influence our social customs and ethics, but not can the technologies determine the social customs and ethics, they are determined by the social customs and ethics.

dengbeiyinUID: 2765999

50# emteddybear
oh~~~那是一篇限时失败的惨作。。。。。。
当时写的时候思维有点混乱。。。 手都不听使唤= =

__ayUID: 2688700

41# dengbeiyin

题目：ARGUMENT121 - The following is a memo from the president of Cyberell Computer Company.

"All of our customer-service employees recently attended a two-day retreat during which they received retraining in effective customer service. Subsequently, Cyberell's employee-performance study showed that the retreat benefited new employees-those who have worked with Cyberell for less than two years-far more than it did experienced employees. According to the study, after the retreat new employees were able to handle an average of ten percent more calls per hour, and the total number of customer complaints about new employees decreased, but experienced employees showed little improvement in these areas. Therefore, Cyberell should send only new employees to future retreats and should use the resulting savings to double the length of the retreats so that the retreats will be more likely to yield optimum employee performance."

这个题目有点让我头疼。。。。不知道这么写对不对，请版友拍拍~~~

1、没有提出具体的训练内容，因此对于老员工并没有较大提升可能是因为授课内容本身比较适合新晋员工，而老员工本身已经熟习这些业务。授课内容本身并不适合老员工，甚至有可能是老员工本身的参加和交流把经验传授给新员工，因此引起表现的良好上升。
2、没有证据证明处理电话的总量提升以及顾客投诉减少就是工作进步的表现。也许是因为顾客提出的问题相对容易处理了，并不说明培训的有效性。投诉的减少可能并不因为员工服务的提升而可能是由于本身的顾客量减少或者在这段时间期间顾客的要求相对容易满足。因此，新晋员工的客服表演并不能仅仅依靠其工作数量作出判断，应该在了解顾客的意见以及满意度之后才能做出客观的分析。仅仅以此作为是否进步的判断标准对老员工并不公平。也许老员工的工作并不是以此为主，也可能老员工在其他方面有所提高而未被反映。
3、是否应该增加培训的时间。没有证据证明培训时间及其效果有正比关系。必须视乎培训的内容以及难度进行设计，还必须考虑新员工的接受能力。没有做出评量，可能会造成资源的浪费。
4、因此决定培训的时间的长度以及对象并不能够仅仅依靠数量上的多少做出判断，公司从培训内容及其难度、培训对象的能力以及相对应的时间做出针对性的设计，才能最有效地提高公司整体工作客服人员的素质。


With a comparison between the new employees who work with Cyberell for less than two years and experienced employees after a two-day retreat including retraining in effective customer service, the author demonstrates that the former benefie more than the latter according to the result which shows a considerable increase in dealing with calls by new employees per hour and a decline in the number of customer complaints about them.Therefore, the arguer made a conclusion that future retreats should only be available for new employees, which can result in savings to double the length of retreats and yield optimum employee performance.This suggestion seems reasonable at the first glance but careful scrunity reveals several critical logic fallacies in its reasoning thus making it unconvincible as it stands.
开头是不是有些长有些啰嗦了?  个人觉得很多东西简要概括一下就好了  我记得哪篇帖子研究过,概括式开头貌似对评分没有什么帮助而且浪费时间  the author suggests that the company should only retrain the new employee with a longger time relying on the better performance of the new employee. 完事~~更多的时间和篇幅花在下面3个段落好一些...

To begin with, no detailed information about the training designed for employees is provided thus leaving the argument open to doubt(好东西, 学习了 呵呵~) that whether the programs in this training are suitable for the experienced ones. The author falis to take into account other possibilities that have an crucial impact on the results got from the study. For instance, the retraining probably aims at developing abilities to handle affairs which are strange to the grren hand(??) while familiar to the experienced, which indicates that little improvement can be made by those experienced employees.At the same time, the author suggests a necessary causal relationship between the retraining and the improvements of the new employees' performance without any comprehensive analysis, which ignores the possiblity that considerable improvements made by new employees are mainly due to the attendence of the experienced ones rather than the retraining because of much more communications about working experience during the two day than usual between them and this benefit them a lot more than taking lessons. Any of these scenarios, if true, would weaken the logic of the argument and undermine its presumption about the effectiveness of the retraining.
用词很华丽。。。而且讨论的深度也够了，不过你的例子有些站不住脚，新员工不是刚来几天而是来了不到2年，那么新老员工2天的交流能够激励新员工看起来很unconvincing 我想的解释是新来的员工都是年轻人，有激情，好煽动他们努力工作（试想我大一的时候多乖的。。。现在叫我干嘛都懒得去了。。。一样道理。。。） 当然不排除我专牛角尖 批判性接受~~呵呵

Another threshold problem in this argument involves the result of the study about employees' performance the author cites as evidence, which lends no strong support for this recommendation. The author unfairly infers that the number of phone calls and complaints about new employees are the only two criteria to judge improvements. It is possible that the experienced  focus more on the management of human resourses in customer-service, the performance of which can not be reflected by the two criteria mentioned aboved. Even assuming that the two criteria can be applied to examine performance,the author fails to ruling out the possibility that problems raised ny customers are much more easier to solve（为什么导致这些问题更容易解决呢？ 这里可以在分析一下，解释下随着技术进步啥的） than before, which results in the increasing number of calls handled by the new employees. （前面都说了如果这2个标准都可以衡量工作能力的话，那么这里要解释的应该是为什么新员工接电话比老员工多而不是新员工电话比以前多了）Besides,the decline in complaints can also be explained by the synchronize decline in the number of customers or another reason that requirements from customers can be met more easily during that period of time.（这里同样的问题，说了用户抱怨减少的原因但是没说为啥新员工的抱怨更少~） Allowing for these cases, the author cannot drop any conclusion about the improvement of the new employees comparing to the experienced ones.

Additionally, the authors suggestion about the length of retraining is gratuitous. Length of retreats should be designed and modified contrapuntally according to the abilities of subjects and the degree of difficulty about the lessons. It is necessary to supply different courses concentrating on various respects for different groups of employees in order to yield optimum employee performance overall.

To sum up, the recommendation made by the author is short of legitimacy. In order to strengthen this argument, specific information should be offered about the courses employees took for retraining and attitudes towards the performance of new employees from customers in order to substantiate the effectiveness of the program. Furthermore, the author should also design retreats especially for experienced employees in order to improve their abilities in all respects.

文笔个人认为没的说，感觉很范文。。。  不知道是不是我个人问题，很多长句我读起来晕乎乎的
一己之见~  批判性接受  欢迎讨论or辩驳

__ayUID: 2688700

OK in return 贴一篇限时失败的argu  感觉很多时候不是没东西写而是没时间分析题目...甚至题目都没理解透就开始瞎找攻击点了,导致逻辑混乱  
唯一的办法就是每天拜拜春锅  要他让我我考试抽到高频argu就OK啦~

43.The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Theater.
"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
尽管已成立50余年的当地机构Rialto剧院地处闹市，它必须采取重大变革，否则就将面临永久停业。它应该借鉴城外商业街上新的Apex剧院的例子。Apex去年开业的时候，它拥有视听走廊，豪华地毯和座椅，以及最先进的音响系统。而且，最近一次调查中，超过85％的被访者报告说新发行影片的过高票价致使他们看电影的次数每年至少减少五次。因此，如果Rialto想在电影观众减少的情况下保持市场份额，它必须提供和Apex相同的设施和服务。

With the rapid development of the society leading to people pursing a higher standard of entertainment, the arguer in this argument unfairly asks for a improvement of equipment for the Rialto Movie Theater(RMT) basing on the Apex Theater(AT)'s successful case. Because there are several critical fallacies in this argument.

1.设备先进不代表能够有更多利润，因为更新设备和维护设备要很多钱。然而要么他提高价格，但是顾客不愿意 要么他按照原来价格卖钱，但是加上设备维护费的高额开销，利润是不是一定多呢？有待考证
To begin with, the arguer mentions that the RTM should update its equipment basing on the assumption that RTM will lose their competitive power without any measures to advance its equipment. However, the assumption is unreliable. As it stands, if RMT update its equipment with a heavily cost and an expansive maintenance cost, it may have to increase the price of the ticket in return, which could exerts a negative impact on the customers in order to balance the cost and the profit. Otherwise, the low price of ticket and the expansive fees for the equipment repairing, perhaps  leads to a less profit. Thus, without providing the evidence to support that RTM will win the favor of the customer because of its equipment updated and that the new price policy are acceptable so as to increase its profit, the arguer unfairly make a conclusion.

（没有让步。。。 限时起来根本没时间理攻击点的先后顺序） 然而作者的调查和分析都不可信
调查用户没说明白他们的分布，也就是说是否有代表性还有待验证
再者作者分析说用户看电影次数减少会导致市场变小？  很可能每个人看电影次数少了 而喜欢看电影的人多了 总体看来是市场变大了也说不定啊
What is more, the arguer predicts the decreasing of the customer of the theater basing of the unwarranted survey and the false analysis. Since the auger did not clearly interpret the distribution of the respondents. Perhaps, most of these respondents are from the low income group which cannot afford the extra entertainment cost. Besides, the arguer also unequally assumes that the reducing times of customer going to the movies means the decreasing moviegoers. What he ignores to consider is that although the less time people go the theater, the more people take part in the group of moviegoer, which means the increase of customer for the movies. As a result, the survey and the assumption seem to be unsound unless the arguer provides more data to support that the respondents are representative to the whole market and more details to substantiate his assumption.

最后，就算市场小了，作者根本就没分析什么原因会导致RTM的份额变少，得快点更新设备为了保持份额
可能是经济危机的影响导致市场份额变小的，。
Finally, even though the market of the moviegoers are decreasing, the arguer fails to provide the all-around analysis about what will cause the RTM losing its customers and then unfairly offer a critical recommendation. There are lots of factors to limit the citizens going to the movie. Perhaps, under the coming economic crisis, most of people who facing the unemployment are busy to seek their new job so as to spend less time on their entertainment or they cannot afford the ticket relying on their blank income. If so, to update the equipment with extra cost seems to be an unwise measure for the RTM, which are likely to result in the financial trouble of RTM. As the regular pattern of history tells us, the market of the moviegoers will finally be restored after the economic crisis. If this is the case, the RTM may be the perference of the customer. Thus, lacking of the details to rule out the possibilities which heavily effects customer going to the RTM, the arguer fails to conclude that the reducing customer is caused by the RTM’s out-of-dated equipment.

To sum up, the argument is unpersuasive and should be reconsidered. To strengthen this argument, more details about the distribution of the survey and information about the preference about the advanced equipment of the customer are required.

dengbeiyinUID: 2765999

53# __ay
嗯嗯，谢谢拍砖！！~
其实。。。我一直写作文都有毛病。。。就是喜欢用长句子。。。用从句之类。。。这个毛病不知道怎么才能改掉= =
我要疯了。。

__ayUID: 2688700

55# dengbeiyin
我也喜欢一下子一堆长句 不过长短句交替会更好些....  在尽力更正ING  还有不到10天就要考试了  我作文写成这个样子情何以堪啊~

__ayUID: 2688700

51# emteddybear

88 "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
科学技术不但影响而且决定了社会风俗和道德规范。
1.因为科技，我们社会发生巨大变化，习俗和道德不可避免被影响。（我们过去喜欢在圣诞节用贺卡表达祝福，现在我们是用电子邮箱发送祝福，或者短信。过去，在维多利亚时代( Victorian times)，一家人空的时候会作游戏，会有家庭活动，而现在更多的是一家人各看各得电视.人们的观念也不断变化着。）遗传学的研究使人们认识到近亲结婚的坏处(intermarriage, genetics)
2.科技是不会决定我们的社会习俗和道德( 因为习俗和道德观念都是从古至今流传下来，几千年历史，而科技是近200年才出现的东西。而且科技进步太快，一时的流行，而习俗和伦理道德是永恒的东西。科技都是给以我们物质的满足，而习俗和道德之类内心的东西。比如科技再怎么进步，都不会改变父母对孩子的爱)，感恩节。即使外在的一些习俗表现变了，但是习俗本身代表社会意义没变。
3.相反，有时我们的社会习俗和道德成为决定科技走向的一个方面。（比如CLONE 技术之类，而且我们更多的关注环保技术的发展，这也是我们的道德决定我们这样做。）
所以我们要正确的看待科学对我们社会产生的影响，而不是一概而论。

TOPIC: ISSUE88 - "Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics."
WORDS: 353
TIME: 00:45:00 +
00:45:00
DATE: 2010-3-2 22:27:25
第一次限时失败，只写了353,改了之后一共只有486 都不知道怎么发散了，指点一下下
As the development of technology, our society has been changed a lot. And I concede that the technology influence the social customs and ethics a lot, but I don't agree with that they are determined by the technologies.

First of all, the technologies, as the necessary tools, have changed our daily life a lot, which makes our social customs and ethics influenced. Sometimes, to make our life more comfortable, faster and more efficiency, we must choose the modern technologic methods and give up(直接换成 instead of 简洁明了) the old ways.
For example, in the old time, we communicated with others far away from us by letters, which must cost a long time. And latter, we use telephones to talk to anyone who has a phone immediately.(打电话改变了人们的交流方式?那跟道德规范又有什么联系呢?得进一步说明交流方式促进了我们的社会风俗) But now, besides the letter and the telephone, the widest used communication tools are emails or MSN, especially for our young. Additionally, in the past, people would like to get marriage with someone who had the kinship with us. But the technologies tell people that it is wrong to do this and it does not satisfy the theory of evolution, which would easily have disabled next generations. And this theory make us changed our marriage ideas in ethics, which follows the deep will for our flourish human beings.
例子太多 论证太少  举例之前最好论证清楚交流方式的进步导致社会风俗的变化和发展
我觉得你的思路可以这样:
先说科技改变道德规范和社会风俗  然后on the one hand 来论证科技对社会风俗的影响 然后举例
on the other hand 在论证科技对道德规范的影响 在举例  

However, the technologies will not determine our social customs and ethics. Social customs and ethics all come from the human nature, which has been with our human history and never will be changed.(第一段才说科技改变风俗道德,这里又直接说科技没法改变...很矛盾  最好加个限定比如说什么样的风俗道德是科技无法改变的?) While the technologies are something popular and appeared in the latest 300 years, which are possibly old fashioned in some days. They only play as the role of our tools. Human beings, as the judge of the world, to create something, such as the technologies, to satisfied our need in our inner heart, whose carrier is our social customs and ethics. So no matter what the technologies would be, they cannot determine the social customs and ethics. Just as that whatever the society is, the fact that a mother loves her children will not be changed, that no matter how fast our life rhythm(生活节奏应该是pace of life吧) is, families will be together in Thanks giving day.
这段我想作者要说的是说了科学技术更新快,撼动人类几千年积累下来的那些东西已经是经过时间的考验并且在人们心中根深蒂固了 但是你说了科学技术更新快后就没在进一步分析这个现象跟道德规范之间的关系了  我觉得你这里可以更深入一点 说随着科学技术的更新,表面上的肤浅的一些风俗道德可以随之改变,但是人们内心深处的一些最基本的风俗和道德是不会改变的 比如说你的例子,升华一下就是人们的感恩之心,母爱,对美好东西的追求,等等等等

What's more, the technologies will be determined by our society customs and ethics. As mentioned above, the technologies are only the tools of human being. The driving source of the technologies is human needs. (思维三级跳了 这里应该加个过渡句说风俗和道德影响人们的需求 那么文章看起来就很自然了)So society customs and ethics determine the trends of the technologies. For example, intent to understand our human beings body constructions, people make the reach of the biology and medical, which have achieved so much that people can copy ourselves. That is clone. But the program has collided with our esthetics, so(as a result) the esthetics to determine that we must stop this program doing more reaches.
这一段的论证逻辑倒是清楚,科技由人类需求决定而道德和风俗又影响着人类的需求

In conclusion, the technologies indeed influence our social customs and ethics, but not can the technologies determine the social customs and ethics, they are determined by the social customs and ethics.

论点倒是很好  不过还是老样子缺少其它连接词的运用所以显得文章很混乱以及写Issue的时候最好不要用第一人称,改用第三人称

__ayUID: 2688700

44# bzr2915

多谢拍板  呵呵  
孔子那段我改了下,加了个in that era限定词 我想说的是在他那个时代高尚道德没用, 改变了人们的想法但改变不了生活...  其实这个例子很好用, 正反论证都可以用得到....

after all 的用法我理解错了...多谢指点~~

bzr2915UID: 2612029

下一篇为54楼_AY童鞋的，请大家继续接力~整理发型，秩序不能乱~
OK in return 贴一篇限时失败的argu  感觉很多时候不是没东西写而是没时间分析题目...甚至题目都没理解透就开始瞎找攻击点了,导致逻辑混乱  
唯一的办法就是每天拜拜春锅  要他让我我考试抽到高频argu就OK啦~

43.The following appeared as part of a business plan developed by the manager of the Rialto Theater.
"Despite its downtown location, the Rialto Movie Theater, a local institution for five decades, must make big changes or close its doors forever. It should follow the example of the new Apex Theater in the mall outside of town. When the Apex opened last year, it featured a video arcade, plush carpeting and seats, and a state-of-the-art sound system. Furthermore, in a recent survey, over 85 percent of respondents reported that the high price of newly released movies prevents them from going to the movies more than five times per year. Thus, if the Rialto intends to hold on to its share of a decreasing pool of moviegoers, it must offer the same features as Apex."
尽管已成立50余年的当地机构Rialto剧院地处闹市，它必须采取重大变革，否则就将面临永久停业。它应该借鉴城外商业街上新的Apex剧院的例子。Apex去年开业的时候，它拥有视听走廊，豪华地毯和座椅，以及最先进的音响系统。而且，最近一次调查中，超过85％的被访者报告说新发行影片的过高票价致使他们看电影的次数每年至少减少五次。因此，如果Rialto想在电影观众减少的情况下保持市场份额，它必须提供和Apex相同的设施和服务。

With the rapid development of the society leading to people pursing a higher standard of entertainment, the arguer in this argument unfairly asks for a improvement of equipment for the Rialto Movie Theater(RMT) basing on the Apex Theater(AT)'s successful case. Because there are several critical fallacies in this argument.

1.设备先进不代表能够有更多利润，因为更新设备和维护设备要很多钱。然而要么他提高价格，但是顾客不愿意 要么他按照原来价格卖钱，但是加上设备维护费的高额开销，利润是不是一定多呢？有待考证
To begin with, the arguer mentions that the RTM should update its equipment basing on the assumption that RTM will lose their competitive power without any measures to advance its equipment. However, the assumption is unreliable. As it stands, if RMT update its equipment with a heavily cost and an expansive maintenance cost, it may have to increase the price of the ticket in return, which could exerts a negative impact on the customers in order to balance the cost and the profit. Otherwise, the low price of ticket and the expansive fees for the equipment repairing, perhaps  leads to a less profit. Thus, without providing the evidence to support that RTM will win the favor of the customer because of its equipment updated and that the new price policy are acceptable so as to increase its profit, the arguer unfairly make a conclusion.

（没有让步。。。 限时起来根本没时间理攻击点的先后顺序） 然而作者的调查和分析都不可信
调查用户没说明白他们的分布，也就是说是否有代表性还有待验证
再者作者分析说用户看电影次数减少会导致市场变小？  很可能每个人看电影次数少了 而喜欢看电影的人多了 总体看来是市场变大了也说不定啊
What is more, the arguer predicts the decreasing of the customer of the theater basing of the unwarranted survey and the false analysis. Since the auger did not clearly interpret the distribution of the respondents. Perhaps, most of these respondents are from the low income group which cannot afford the extra entertainment cost. Besides, the arguer also unequally assumes that the reducing times of customer going to the movies means the decreasing moviegoers. What he ignores to consider is that although the less time people go the theater, the more people take part in the group of moviegoer, which means the increase of customer for the movies. As a result, the survey and the assumption seem to be unsound unless the arguer provides more data to support that the respondents are representative to the whole market and more details to substantiate his assumption.

最后，就算市场小了，作者根本就没分析什么原因会导致RTM的份额变少，得快点更新设备为了保持份额
可能是经济危机的影响导致市场份额变小的，。
Finally, even though the market of the moviegoers are decreasing, the arguer fails to provide the all-around analysis about what will cause the RTM losing its customers and then unfairly offer a critical recommendation. There are lots of factors to limit the citizens going to the movie. Perhaps, under the coming economic crisis, most of people who facing the unemployment are busy to seek their new job so as to spend less time on their entertainment or they cannot afford the ticket relying on their blank income. If so, to update the equipment with extra cost seems to be an unwise measure for the RTM, which are likely to result in the financial trouble of RTM. As the regular pattern of history tells us, the market of the moviegoers will finally be restored after the economic crisis. If this is the case, the RTM may be the perference of the customer. Thus, lacking of the details to rule out the possibilities which heavily effects customer going to the RTM, the arguer fails to conclude that the reducing customer is caused by the RTM’s out-of-dated equipment.

To sum up, the argument is unpersuasive and should be reconsidered. To strengthen this argument, more details about the distribution of the survey and information about the preference about the advanced equipment of the customer are required.

emteddybearUID: 2699606

我来改59


LZ so sorry 我又把次序搞乱了， 我晓得咋的老是掉线，头一昏就发到62楼去了