草根修改铺(楼主不在）

mianyixueUID: 2556529

那就多谢啦，嘿嘿
ssue50  In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
syllabus
In the era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing updating rate of knowledge,A college or university which separate its academic faculty and the world outside will doubtlessly fail to prepare for students in their future. However, we have to pay attention to the task of faculty which is to cultivate students rather than create social wealth directly. It's a crucial choice to make a balance between working outside and instructing students in college and university.
A Firstly,updating knowledge promote faculty to regenerate ideas of their brains.
B secondly, faculty's working experience outside the academic provide efficient instructions for students'future.
C.Last but not least, it's  beneficial for both companies and faculty.
D. However, emphasizing the necessity of working outside the academic definitely cause a opposite extreme.
ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
In the era of rapid social and technological change leading to increase a updating rate of knowledge, a college or university which separate its academic faculty and the world outside will doubtless fail to prepare for students' future. However, we have to pay attention to the task of faculty which is to cultivate students rather than create social wealth directly. It's a crucial choice of a balance between working outside and instructing students in college or university.
Firstly, updating knowledge promote faculty to regenerate ideas of their brains.  It's not hard to find that most of our textbooks were published several years ago, And it's a knowledge explosion time which means to adapt the world quickly.  Faculty in college or university has the responsibility to instruct their students with up to date knowledge. So the necessity of keeping the same pace of knowledge comes to faculty, which should work outside, and then instills the newest ideas to their students.
secondly, faculty's working experience outside the academic provides efficient instructions about students’ future. Different time needs different talent. It's wise for students to learn knowledge and practice their skills which are fit to our society. So working outside the academic is provident for faculty to analyze which kind of skill is needed in job market. With sagacious instructions, students will find it easier to choose a satisfactory job.
Last but not least, it's beneficial for both faculty and companies. With the instructions of faculty in college or university, more money would be earned for company. And in the same time, faculty would have their rewards. Take my laboratory for example.  Our laboratory often cooperates with companies. Through an intact project, companies will obtain satisfying results, while our laboratory will earn enough funds for deeper research and more integrate skills will be learnt by us. So I believe more benefits would be gained through working outside for faculty.
However, emphasizing the necessity of working outside the academic definitely cause an opposite extreme. The limited working time requires faculty to adjust their timetables to focus more energy on the instruction of students. Some unadvisable faculty members fail to balance the relation between working outside and instructing students, which is critical false for them because of their task as a faculty member in college or university.
In conclusion, working outside the academic is a good choice to keep the same pace with the knowledge explosion time, while it's necessary to call for a balance between working outside and the instruction in college or university.

(2010-3-9 1:23:48)

还望狠拍，多谢！！！

bzr2915UID: 2612029

人工置顶一下，楼下继续136楼，那个什么大家改完之后评一下分，反馈+尊重一下修改人的劳动成果~

suchana03UID: 2764281

In the era of rapid social and technological change leading to theincreaseof an updating rate of knowledge, a college or university which separate its academic faculty and (from)the world outside will doubtlessly fail to preparestudents for students' (their)future. However, we have to pay attention to the task of faculty which is to cultivate students rather than create social wealth directly. It's a crucial choice of a balance between working outside and instructing students in college or university.
Firstly, updating knowledge promote不恰当 faculty to regenerate ideas of fromtheir brains.  It's not hard to find that most of our textbooks were published several years ago, And it's a knowledge explosion time which means to adapt the world quickly.  Faculty in college or university has the responsibility to instruct their students with up to date knowledge. So the necessity of keeping the same pace of knowledge comes to faculty, which should work outside, and then instills the newest ideas to their students.
secondly, faculty's working experience outside the academic provides efficient instructions about students’ future. Different time needs different talent复数. It's wise for students to learn knowledge and practice their skills which are fit to our society. So working outside the academic is provident for faculty to analyze which kind of skill is needed in job market. With sagacious instructions, students will find it easier to choose a satisfactory job.
Last but not least, it's beneficial for both faculty and companies. With the instructions of faculty in college or university, more money would be earned for company. And in the same time, faculty would have their rewards. Take my laboratory for example.  Our laboratory often cooperates with companies. Through an intact project, companies will obtain satisfying results, while our laboratory will earn enough funds for deeper research and more integrate skills will be learnt by us. So I believe more benefits would be gained through working outside for faculty.
However, emphasizing the necessity of working outside the academic definitely cause an opposite extreme. The limited working time requires faculty to adjust their timetables to focus more energy on the instruction of students. Some unadvisable faculty members fail to balance the relation between working outside and instructing students, which is critical false for them because of their task as a faculty member in college or university.
In conclusion, working outside the academic is a good choice to keep the same pace with the knowledge explosion time, while it's necessary to call for a balance between working outside and the instruction in college or university.
语法错误较多，语法不够扎实，形容词、副词用法混乱，用词不准，虽然能把意思表达清楚。结构清晰，只是在语言方面需要加强功底。

suchana03UID: 2764281

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

  How education can be truly effective seems to be a topic constantly discussed which shows the great importance attached to the role education plays. And the speaker is in favor of the kind of education adapted to meet students’ interests. Yet, in my view, we need to consider the issue according to different learning processes.
  To start with, in elementary education whose aim is to foster the interests of learning among students, individual needs interests are more likely to invoke students’ motivation and initiative. After all, students are the main participants in the learning process and education is to improve a person. And the needs of the participants are one of the criteria upon which such improvement is based. In this process, individual interests are like the inner driving machine that propels the learning process by itself and without much outside pushing force. This is especially true for young students in elementary education, because youngsters have a stronger inclination towards things they are interested in and indifference to things that cannot excite them, as explained by human nature. In addition, they generally lack self-control and can therefore be easily distracted from the learning process in face of “unexciting” materials but as well easily engaged if provided with “attractive and inspiring” lessons. That is why there are more physical education classes in elementary school than in high school or universities, for young children like moving about and if they are required to stay in classroom all day long as high school and university students do, they can be tired soon and the teaching process would not generate any effect and may even hamper the healthy growth of the children. As a result, elementary education needs to cater more to the needs and interests of students according to their characteristics in special growing periods. Only then can students enjoy learning from the very beginning and elementary education can be effective.
    When it comes to higher education, however, societal needs have to be the focus if higher education is to be effective. After all, students are inalienable from society. And higher education, besides the aim of improving personal characters, has a greater purpose, i.e. providing qualified talents and individuals to society. In addition, students in higher education are more sensible, have better judgment, a clearer goal of their future and are no longer driven by their own needs in a narrow range. Therefore, if education at this stage can link societal needs with the characteristics of students together, then it can be said to have fulfilled its mission. That is why a majority of universities have both academics and sciences departments, because these two constitutes two aspects of a normal function of a society. Without academic research, people would be constantly trapped in moral crisis; without scientific exploration, the quality of life could not have been advanced so rapidly. And the fact that college students face the challenge of finding adequate jobs also illustrates the need of adaptation to society. Therefore, effective higher education is the one taking societal needs into consideration, which is both good for students who are in need of jobs and the function of our society.
    In conclusion, individual needs and interests are fundamental in early process of learning since inspiration of initiative is the main element of consideration of effectiveness in elementary education. Nevertheless, without a concern for societal benefits, education at a higher stage loses one of its important aims.

佐罗123UID: 2776369

TOPIC: ISSUE51 - "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

  How education can be truly effective seems to be a topic constantly discussed which shows the great importance attached to the role education plays. And the speaker is in favor of the kind of education adapted to meet students’ interests. Yet, in my view, we need to consider the issue according to different learning processes.
  To start with, in elementary education whose aim is to 【that aims to？】foster the interests of learning among students, individual needs interests are more likely to invoke students’ motivation and initiative. After all, students are the main participants in the learning process and education is to improve a person. And the needs of the participants are one of the criteria upon which such improvement is based. In this process, individual interests are like the inner driving machine that propels the learning process by itself and without much outside pushing force. This is especially true for young students in elementary education, because youngsters have a stronger inclination towards things they are interested in and indifference to things that cannot excite them, as explained by human nature. In addition, they generally lack self-control and can therefore be easily distracted from the learning process in face of “unexciting” materials but as well easily engaged if provided with “attractive and inspiring” lessons. That is why there are more physical education classes in elementary school than in high school or universities, for young children like moving about and if they are required to stay in classroom all day long as high school and university students do, they can be tired soon and the teaching process would not generate any effect and may even hamper the healthy growth of the children. As a result, elementary education needs to cater more to the needs and interests of students according to their characteristics in special growing periods. Only then can students enjoy learning from the very beginning and elementary education can be effective.
    When it comes to higher education, however, societal needs have to be the focus if higher education is to be effective. After all, students are inalienable from society. And higher education, besides the aim of improving personal characters, has a greater purpose, i.e. providing qualified talents and individuals to society. In addition, students in higher education are more sensible, have better judgment, a clearer goal of their future and are no longer driven by their own needs in a narrow range. Therefore, if education at this stage can link societal needs with the characteristics of students together, then it can be said to have fulfilled its mission. That is why a majority of universities have both academics and sciences departments, because these two constitutes two aspects of a normal function of a society. Without academic research, people would be constantly trapped in moral crisis; without scientific exploration, the quality of life could not have been advanced so rapidly. And the fact that college students face the challenge of finding adequate jobs also illustrates the need of adaptation to society. Therefore【最好换一个词】, effective higher education is the one taking societal【social】 needs into consideration, which is both good for students who are in need of jobs and the function of our society.
    In conclusion, individual needs and interests are fundamental in early process of learning since inspiration of initiative is the main element of consideration of effectiveness in elementary education. Nevertheless, without a concern for societal benefits, education at a higher stage loses one of its important aims.

你的观点清晰，但是我有不同看法
题目是"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."那么这里我认为破题点在only这里，我讨论的就是根据学生兴趣教和它的对立，也就大概是教学生统一的教育内容。然而你这里说的是在不同阶段的针对面，把needs and interests 作为讨论，感觉不是太对题……仅仅是个人的感觉，也不一定就要我那样写，只是一点小小建议，欢迎讨论交流！

佐罗123UID: 2776369

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 411          TIME: 00:44:16         

It has been long argued that whether individuals play more significant role than people in history. The author poses a claim it is the long forgotten people who made the important events and trends. While in my point of view I would agree more that the individuals achieve more than people.

Admittedly people achieved a lot in the course of history. Without their help those vital accomplishment and victory could not be established. Consider wars, it is impossible to win a battle just depend on one single general rather than thousands of unknown soldiers. It also happens in the commercial, under those famous and successful CEOs, numerous employees are executing their jobs loyally. So we cannot ignore people's contribution to the significant events

However in the respect of politics, we can see in most of the time key mans could make more process than people. Look back into the history of America, it is Theodore Roosevelt put out the fundament New Deal to save the depressed American. He suggested that the government should be involved in the market to direct the economy rather than complete freedom in commercial. Through New Deal, hundreds of thousands of people out of occupation could have jobs instead of being homeless.

Moreover, in the spectrum of science, key mans' contribution is even more obvious. Science is destined to be studied by few whose have passion and also great accumulation of knowledge that ordinary people may not reach the requirement. From Copernicus to Galileo, from Newton to Einstein, they are the famous few that made the significant events and trends. The invention of bulb by Edison light up people's life. The invention of pasteurization by Pasteur ensures our healthy life. The invention of telephone by Bale makes it possible for us to speak to distant relatives to show our care and missing.

Furthermore, the fashion trends are always determined by noticed designers. In the film "The devil wears Prada" the chief editor a fashion magazine once reveals the truth that, the color of your clothes you choose to wear today is not the result of your trend sense which you may think you have, but the choice designers made for you couple months ago.

In sum, famous few could be become famous is the result of their achievement in pushing the history and trends forward. I concede people are great for their contribution, however, I agree that in most of the time individuals accomplished more than people.

BackerShuUID: 2658043

Issue50  In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
syllabus
In the era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing updating rate of knowledge, A college or university which separate its academic faculty and the world outside will doubtlessly fail to prepare for students in their future. However, we have to pay attention to the task of faculty which is to cultivate students rather than create social wealth directly. It's a crucial choice to make a balance between working outside and instructing students in college and university.
A Firstly, updating knowledge promote faculty to regenerate ideas of their brains.
B secondly, faculty's working experience outside the academic provide efficient instructions for students' future.
C. Last but not least, it's  beneficial for both companies and faculty.
D. However, emphasizing the necessity of working outside the academic definitely cause a opposite extreme.
ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."

In the era of rapid social and technological change leading to increase an updating rate of knowledge, a college or university which separate(separates) its academic faculty and the world outside will doubtless(~ly) fail to prepare for students' future. However(似乎therefore更好一点), we have to pay attention to the task of faculty which is to cultivate students rather than create social wealth directly. It's a crucial choice of a balance between working outside and instructing students in college or university.

Firstly, updating knowledge promote faculty to regenerate ideas of their brains.  It's not hard to find that most of our textbooks were published several years ago, and it's a knowledge explosion time which means to adapt the world quickly.  Faculty in college or university has the responsibility to instruct their students with up to date knowledge. So the necessity of keeping the same pace of knowledge comes to faculty, which should work outside, and then instills the newest ideas to their students.
[认为教授去社会上工作可以是更新知识，并向学生传授新的知识，思路不错]

Secondly, faculty's working experience outside the academic provides efficient instructions about students’ future. Different time needs different talent. It's wise for students to learn knowledge and practice their skills which are fit to our society. So working outside the academic is provident for faculty to analyze which kind of skill is needed in job market. With sagacious instructions, students will find it easier to choose a satisfactory job.
[从更适合适应社会需求的角度论证working outside 的作用，感觉这一段可以再develop一下：利用题目的限定词relevant to course they teach, 从理论联系实践的角度讲一下quality of instruction 将提高]

Last but not least, it's beneficial for both faculty and companies. With the instructions of faculty in college or university, more money would be earned for company. And in the same time, faculty would have their rewards. Take my laboratory for example.  Our laboratory often cooperates with companies. Through an intact project, companies will obtain satisfying results, while our laboratory will earn enough funds for deeper research and more integrate skills will be learnt by us.(这里的时态还是与全文保持一致比较好) So I believe more benefits would be gained through working outside for faculty.
[company 和 faculty同时获益]
[以上三个角度都选得很不错，很能说明working outside的benefit, 下面该转折平衡观点了吧]

However, emphasizing the necessity of working outside the academic definitely cause an opposite extreme. The limited working time requires faculty to adjust their timetables to focus more energy on the instruction of students. Some unadvisable faculty members fail to balance the relation between working outside and instructing students, which is critical false for them because of their task as a faculty member in college or university.
[转到balance观点，感觉这一段写得不太够，working outside 会占用教授的时间是一点，也会影响教授上课的精力，使课堂质量降低，过于强调working outside可能会导致理论学习被忽视，是课堂仅仅成为技能培训的地方，也不是high quality of instruction.
不知道会不会吹毛求疵，感觉这一段确实应该在develop一下~~]

In conclusion, working outside the academic is a good choice to keep the same pace with the knowledge explosion time, while it's necessary to call for a balance between working outside and the instruction in college or university.


总体来说，作者的思路很清晰，比较incisive~~

确实写得不错，改得不是很多，学习啦！！

BackerShuUID: 2658043

Issue 50 感觉思路跟#136差别有些大，不够具体细致，大家狠批吧！！


TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."


提纲：
关键字：提高教学质量  对所有教授的要求
限制：教授在学术界以外，但与所教课程相关的领域工作
核心问题：如何提高教学质量
提纲：
1.        定义什么是高质量的教学：教学目标(狭义的：学生的培养，包括理论水平的提高，实践能力的增强)很好地被实现。
TS： 高质量的教学需要参加教育多方（包括学生，教授，社会）的共同努力和合作
2.        教授是教学活动的主动实施者，其素质高低对教学水平的高低有很大的影响。
例子：大学中的很多专业都需要有高水平的学科到头人
develop：学科带头人通常在理论和实践上都具有很高的水平，对所研究的专业有全面到位的把握能够很好地知道学生的培养和科研的进行
conclusion:

3.        （转折过度教授并不是唯一因素）由于各省在教育重视程度，经济水平，教育投入等方面的差异，大学的教学水平参差不齐。
例子：教育投入高，重视教育的省市，大学教学水平往往较高
develop: 教育活动的进行需要很多的硬件和软件支持，比如先进的教学设备，提高教师待遇从而提高其积极性，地方差异对这些有较大的影响
conclusion:
4.        学生是教学活动的接受者，其学习态度直接决定了教学目标能否实现，从而影响教育质量。
例子：在同一所大学，学习风气好，学生学习主动的系，通常学生的总体水平较高
develop：
conclusion：
5.  结论：


High qualified instructions, in narrow sense as concerned in this issue, convey students the fundamental knowledge and the method to put it into practice. Although dramatically influenced by the quality of professors, the quality of instructions needs coorperations and interactivenesses among the professors, students, and even the society.

Professors who execute the instructions are undoubtablely required to be well-qualified, both in theory and practice. Almost all the departments in universities have one or more leaders of discipline, who not only delegate the level of scientific research of the department, but also play an important role in cultivating process of students. When choosing mayors in universities, we students often have a tendency to select the department with famous professors, and the reality is that the quality of instructions in such department is higher.  In the other hand, departments without a high-qualified leader often fail to set feasible and suitable curriculums for students and cultivate well-developed talents for society. So it is believed that without erudite teachers, schools are no more that buildings and equipments.

However instructions may not spontaneously be high quality with erudite professors, the activities of students, the receivers  of the process, also influence the effects of the instructions. It is a normal phenomenon that the class with students performing more actively often pushes the instruction to a higher level, even with the same teacher. So, in every department, there must be some teachers who specially deal with the emotional issues of the students to make sure that they will perform well in the classroom. To some extent, active students may make the teachers more productively and eventually improve the quality of a class, and it is no surprise that this kind of students are appreciated by the professors, because by whom something new would be triggered out and this often gives a inspiration to both instructions and scientific researches. The activeness of the students should be well encouraged, although they're only the recipients.

As one participant of education, the society including governments, schools and the parents also have something to do with the quality of the instructions. Accompanied with the fast developing world, many assistant equipments are introduce to make the instructions process more conveniently and efficiently, which needs the governments and schools pay more fund for education. And it often turns out that the states, paying more emphasis on education and giving more education budget, have more famous universities and high schools. Instruction, one important aspect of education, is not a kind of activities limited in schools all the time, and under the help of the society, it becomes more fruitful and accelerating the process of society progress with high-qualified students in return.

It is under the instructing of erudite professors, with the active students and helpful society, that high qualified instructions will be successfully implemented.

BackerShuUID: 2658043

不好意思，改完发上去才发现忘了占楼了~~

在此占楼，马上改改#141，以示惩罚~~

扰乱次序不好意思，希望文章不要被忽略~~

BackerShuUID: 2658043

TOPIC: ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 411          TIME: 00:44:16         

It has been long argued that whether individuals play more significant role than people in history. The author poses a claim it is the long forgotten people who made the important events and trends. While in my point of view I would agree more with that the individuals achieve more than people.


Admittedly people achieved a lot in the course of history. Without their help those vital accomplishment and victory could not be established. Consider wars, it is impossible to win a battle just depend on one single general rather than thousands of unknown soldiers. It also happens in the commercial, under those famous and successful CEOs, numerous employees are executing their jobs loyally. So we cannot ignore people's contribution to the significant events
简要指出大众的历史作用，为后文转折提供基础

However in the respect of politics, we can see in most of the time key mans men could make more process than people. Look back into the history of America, it is Theodore Roosevelt put out the fundament New Deal to save the depressed American. He suggested that the government should be involved in the market to direct the economy rather than complete freedom in commercial. Through New Deal, hundreds of thousands of people out of occupation could have jobs instead of being homeless.
例子是fit的，例子举完是不是应该在联系一下论点，在develop一下？？

Moreover, in the spectrum of science, key mans' contribution is even more obvious. Science is destined to be studied by few whose have passion and also great accumulation of knowledge that ordinary people may not reach the requirement. From Copernicus to Galileo, from Newton to Einstein, they are the famous few that made the significant events and trends. The invention of bulb by Edison light up people's life. The invention of pasteurization by Pasteur ensures our healthy life. The invention of telephone by Bale makes it possible for us to speak to distant relatives to show our care and missing.
例子的描写挺赞的，好像还是例子举完就完了~~

Furthermore, the fashion trends are always determined by noticed designers. In the film "The devil wears Prada", the chief editor ofa fashion magazine once revealsrevealed the truth that, the color of your clothes you choose to wear today is not the result of your trend sense which you may think you have, but the choice that designers made for you couple months ago. 长句子，感觉断得不是很清楚，估计是限时的原因

感觉这个例子不是很fit, 第一与历史无关，第二designers和穿衣服的人似乎不构成famous few和majority forgotten people的对比，个人观点
另外本段的观点也没有展开

In sum, famous few could be become famous is the result of their achievements in pushing the history and trends forward. I concede people are great for their contribution, however, I agree that in most of the time individuals accomplished more than people.


总体感觉：
文章思路和清晰，例子选择也比较fit
段落的论证不够充分,估计是限时的原因
个人观点，仅供参考~~

bzr2915UID: 2612029

看这里 下一篇 143楼backershu童鞋的 楼下继续
TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."


提纲：
关键字：提高教学质量  对所有教授的要求
限制：教授在学术界以外，但与所教课程相关的领域工作
核心问题：如何提高教学质量
提纲：
1.        定义什么是高质量的教学：教学目标(狭义的：学生的培养，包括理论水平的提高，实践能力的增强)很好地被实现。
TS： 高质量的教学需要参加教育多方（包括学生，教授，社会）的共同努力和合作
2.        教授是教学活动的主动实施者，其素质高低对教学水平的高低有很大的影响。
例子：大学中的很多专业都需要有高水平的学科到头人
develop：学科带头人通常在理论和实践上都具有很高的水平，对所研究的专业有全面到位的把握能够很好地知道学生的培养和科研的进行
conclusion:

3.        （转折过度教授并不是唯一因素）由于各省在教育重视程度，经济水平，教育投入等方面的差异，大学的教学水平参差不齐。
例子：教育投入高，重视教育的省市，大学教学水平往往较高
develop: 教育活动的进行需要很多的硬件和软件支持，比如先进的教学设备，提高教师待遇从而提高其积极性，地方差异对这些有较大的影响
conclusion:
4.        学生是教学活动的接受者，其学习态度直接决定了教学目标能否实现，从而影响教育质量。
例子：在同一所大学，学习风气好，学生学习主动的系，通常学生的总体水平较高
develop：
conclusion：
5.  结论：


High qualified instructions, in narrow sense as concerned in this issue, convey students the fundamental knowledge and the method to put it into practice. Although dramatically influenced by the quality of professors, the quality of instructions needs coorperations and interactivenesses among the professors, students, and even the society.

Professors who execute the instructions are undoubtablely required to be well-qualified, both in theory and practice. Almost all the departments in universities have one or more leaders of discipline, who not only delegate the level of scientific research of the department, but also play an important role in cultivating process of students. When choosing mayors in universities, we students often have a tendency to select the department with famous professors, and the reality is that the quality of instructions in such department is higher.  In the other hand, departments without a high-qualified leader often fail to set feasible and suitable curriculums for students and cultivate well-developed talents for society. So it is believed that without erudite teachers, schools are no more that buildings and equipments.

However instructions may not spontaneously be high quality with erudite professors, the activities of students, the receivers  of the process, also influence the effects of the instructions. It is a normal phenomenon that the class with students performing more actively often pushes the instruction to a higher level, even with the same teacher. So, in every department, there must be some teachers who specially deal with the emotional issues of the students to make sure that they will perform well in the classroom. To some extent, active students may make the teachers more productively and eventually improve the quality of a class, and it is no surprise that this kind of students are appreciated by the professors, because by whom something new would be triggered out and this often gives a inspiration to both instructions and scientific researches. The activeness of the students should be well encouraged, although they're only the recipients.

As one participant of education, the society including governments, schools and the parents also have something to do with the quality of the instructions. Accompanied with the fast developing world, many assistant equipments are introduce to make the instructions process more conveniently and efficiently, which needs the governments and schools pay more fund for education. And it often turns out that the states, paying more emphasis on education and giving more education budget, have more famous universities and high schools. Instruction, one important aspect of education, is not a kind of activities limited in schools all the time, and under the help of the society, it becomes more fruitful and accelerating the process of society progress with high-qualified students in return.

It is under the instructing of erudite professors, with the active students and helpful society, that high qualified instructions will be successfully implemented.

hanwenxiUID: 2690692

占146楼的

hanwenxiUID: 2690692

占142的

hanwenxiUID: 2690692

小女的issue130请楼下多指教啊，主要是用词方面:)
130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society." 1
I concede that socialization, defined in terms of adapting to and emerging into a society and being more cooperative with other persons, plays a more pivotal role in modern society than ever before, and even influences the destiny of society to some extent.

Socialization effects the behaviors of our next generation by demonstrating the techniques and skills dealing with real-world events outside the examples of principles and theories discussed in textbooks. One need look no further than students in kindergarten where certain potentially changes are acting on children through the process of getting known to their teachers and fellows of the kids in daily life. They could actively find the role of themselves in the collective, realize gradually what sort of means to make others accept their viewpoints readily, recognize whether a girl or a boy could be made friends with, figure out how to attain others’ respect among own classmates. This seemly juvenile method of education have indeed assisted children to set the position of themselves in the society and pursue the objective of satisfying their own need of emotions, respects and sense of self-actualization, thereby ensure that the kids would be able to communicate, negotiate or even cooperate successfully with others in the future and finally work together with other people to construct the society in a more reasonable, tolerant and respectful style. Consider IBM and Microsoft's success. All the qualified technicians, skilled officers and excellent leaders make a concerted effort to ensure the development and survival of the enterprise. In a word, socialization of children is definitely to become an essential determinant of the destiny of our world.
However, socialization is not the only factor which ultimately determines the extent an individual will contribute to a better society and it is even not the most significant one, nevertheless there are some other significant factors influence the next generation and the future of our world, such as the quality of members in a society, parental influence, personal raw intelligence, spirit character and specific experience, etc. Imagine that how Helen Keller could receive the same ordinary education as other children as a girl with blindness and become integrated with others. In the considerate inculcating of her family tutor, Keller could gradually read books on her own by learning language printed in Braille, even though without the formal education system. Finally, she published her own work as one of the most excellent women in the world in adulthood. Those accomplishments cannot be credited by the socialization in her childhood, yet in the end she turns into a model role ,and even the symbol of contemporary life of thousands and millions of people not mere a person who is able to devote to society, by her raw intelligence, special life experience, both the resolution and courage to face up to the physical handicap. Consequently, socialization is only one factor that destiny of society depends on.


Obviously, the speaker’s claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can better society is a bit over pessimistic.
In my view, although today's education is not as satisfied as people has expected, it is making great efforts in raising children who can help bring out better society by facilitating their consciousness of social responsibility If we define a “better” society as one characterized by greater tolerance, respect and cooperation with others. We can view these young people as being more sensitive to and respectful of the women, various ethnic and racial groups, homosexual, etc and besides taking on greater cooperation across cultural and national boundaries，such as diminishing the proliferation of Ozone Hole.
Moreover, query the assertion that we have not yet been able to educate children under the fact that we should be proud of various civilization achievements.
In most circumstances, the accomplishments achieved now should be owed to every citizen who devote themselves to society, however those people were largely cultivated by our mainstream education system. We cannot deny the obvious fact that we advance in a vast of areas in both science and humanity and those accomplishments have greatly ameliorated the process of how to raise children of integrated personality.
In conclusion, socialization merely act as one of the determinants of society’s destiny, besides that, our society have already learned how to educate an individual who could make contribution to our world.

wangyilongwylUID: 2598669

hanwenxi用了另一个账号改146的
此文章看完提纲就觉得少些了很大一部分，关于50的重点阐述教授的外在研究的部分根本没有论述到啊。


High qualified instructions, in narrow senses as concerned in this issue, convey students the fundamental knowledge and the method to put it into practice. Although dramatically influenced by the quality of professors, the quality of instructions needs coorperations and interactivenesses（word修改没有这个词，北美里面也没有直接用这个词可以考虑换） among the professors, students, and even the society.
开头篇关于自己的观点是说明白了，但是对于题目似乎是跑题了至少是有一半没有提到啊。
Professors who execute the instructions are undoubtablely required to be well-qualified, both in theory and practice. Almost all the departments in universities have one or more leaders of discipline, who not only delegate the level of scientific research of the department, but also play an important role in cultivating process of students. When choosing mayors in universities（好）,（.） we students often have a tendency to select the department with famous professors, and the reality is that the quality of instructions in such department is higher.
In the other hand, departments without a high-qualified leader often fail to set feasible and suitable curriculums for students and cultivate well-developed talents for society. So it is believed that without erudite teachers, schools are no more that buildings and equipments.(这段讲的是老师的作用，我建议从这里开始深入地把老师对外工作的好处给说明白)

However instructions may not spontaneously be high quality with erudite professors, the activities of students, the receivers of the process, also influence the effects of the instructions. It is a normal phenomenon that the class with students performing more actively often pushes the instruction to a higher level, even（though） with the same teacher. So, in every department, there must be some teachers who specially deal with the emotional issues of the students to make sure that they will perform well in the classroom. To some extent, active students may make the teachers more productively and eventually improve the quality of a class, and it is no surprise that this kind of students are appreciated by the professors, because by whom（容易不懂，改成because从句好）
something new would be triggered out and this often gives a inspiration to both instructions and scientific researches. The activeness of the students should be well encouraged, although they're only the recipients.（这段讲的是学生的反应，可以从互相方面来说教授的外在工作给学生的益处）

As one participant of education, the society including governments, schools and the parents also have something to do with the quality of the instructions. Accompanied with the fast developing world, many assistant equipments are introduce to make the instructions process more conveniently and efficiently, which needs the governments and schools pay more fund for education. And it often turns out that the states, paying more emphasis on education and giving more education budget, have more famous universities and high schools. Instruction, one important aspect of education, is not a kind of activities limited in schools all the time, and under the help of the society, it becomes more fruitful and accelerating the process of society progress with high-qualified students in return. （最后这段就可以补充的态度来说不仅仅是教授的对外工作，还有其他的因素）

It is under the instructing of erudite professors, with the active students and helpful society, that high qualified instructions will be successfully implemented.（题目没扣全）

此题的文章建议是中间三段论述时按老师自己在外的好处，对于学生的好处，最后还有其他能够促进教育水平来写。