草根修改铺(楼主不在）

dengbeiyinUID: 2765999

占楼改73楼，秩序出现混乱，请Lz帮忙改一下楼上的~调整一下~~谢谢~~~~

40"Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem."
我们不应该仅仅关注学者和研究者的著作能否对社会做出贡献。更重要的是关注他们如何追求实现自己的兴趣，无论那些兴趣显得是多么的非同寻常。(少数和多数之科学家)

我先看提纲，再看文章~~~

To truly promote the society, the author concludes that the researches and scholars should pay less attention to the researches useless to the world（这个说法跟题目的意思不太一样，需要改）. However, I can hardly agree with the author, for the reason that any researches has its destiny to develop the society, but their works cannot be accepted in a short-time（著作能都被接受和能否为社会做出贡献有点偏差，最好在换词语的时候注意一下意思的准确性）.

Admittedly, one should follow his interests which are the driving power（s） of the creativity in order to benefit the society.（ A ）Person will be complete(用副词） inspired only if they（前后不一致） do the work they want. That is, to pursuing an effective promotion the performance of people in the business, the researches etc. taking the personal preference in to account is necessary.（句子结构混乱，意思表达不清） A topical example that it is the person called Van Gogh, regarded as a great painter in the people's mind gives the Sunflower birth.（用这个短语似乎不对） Despite his difficult life, he painted what he want, press what he like, and color what he prefers（与前面的几个短语结构不一样了，可以换成use colors that he liked，整个句子注意一下时态). clearly illustrates that man doing his interests helps light up his creativity, release his lust, and encourage his depression.（这一句主语在哪里？）

However, an essential valuable research is irrelevant to the time, which means that it unfairly ensures its value in a short-time（Period？）. Since the research making no contribution to the society in that era does not suggest（动词修饰的是前面这一个事实而不是研究本身，所以前面应该用That引导从句作为主语） its value cannot be dug out by the people later. As an old saying goes, "gold will glitter forever". To some extent, it interprets that in the complex world, a work’s ignored（换种说法吧，这个不可以作为名词的） mean（s） nothing about its useless（注意词性）, but the lack of the people who is able to find out its wander（wonder）. Confucius（ly）, a well-known philosopher in ancient China, creates his works advocating people of benevolent and friendly. As a result, people, in the present day, realize that the works indicate the reasonable thoughts to peace the world and the effective way to effect people in a positive way（真的，我觉得孔子这个例子没有代表性）.（这一段落应该放在前面比较好吧，这主要讲贡献，前面一段讲兴趣的跟下面一段衔接会比较好额，因为下面那一段讲的是学者感兴趣的研究可能会与道德冲突）

Additionally, personal interest researches（语法错误） could effective（ly） benefit the society only to the extent that the researches should not be out of the moral standard. These researches such as biography weapons, clone technology, etc. sometimes seem to be crazy that they are born to break up the order of the world, which means a widely involved world, or a moral disaster. Otherwise, the controversial researches are likely to exert a negative impact on the progress of the society. For instance, the clone evaluated as both negative and positive attitudes are a hot topic in the current day. On one hand, this technology brings a fresh air to the treatment of incurable diseases. On the other hand, it is defined as a dangerous research of clone people, for the reason that the widespread using of these researches could arouse numerous problems of law, moral, etc. leading to a broken order in converting ethical standards.

To sum up, society develop with a stable, controllable（修饰什么） only if the personal interest conducted in a correct way, inspiring people in the mind and encouraging them in the work. Besides, lacking of the talent scouts with a widely knowledge and a profound analysis for the researches, one can rarely make a full use of these researches.（句子与题目无关，改改吧）


1.科学著作能不能对社会的贡献是无法短期内判断的.
        现在看来没用的理论不代表将来会没用
        就如 是金子总会发光 gold will glitter forever 一样  任何科学研究都有他的价值 然而我们这个社会缺少的是伯乐
（个人觉得这各方面就不需要论述了，因为这并不是题目的重点）       例子 孔子（这个例子怎么用？？另：孔子没有著作，也并非科学家或者学者，即使是教育家，他当时的贡献已经能够体现了）

2. 无论著作的效果如何,我们应该关注个人追寻自己的兴趣方向
        鼓励个人追寻自己的兴趣方向的时候更容易发散自己的思维,提出创新的一些东西
        然而创新性的作品正是社会发展的动力
        例如 梵高(Van Gogh)能够给予向日葵生命(Sunflower)是因为他喜欢画画（也许这里举个跟题目的researcher/scholars联系比较紧密的灰比较好？？）
               
3. 有些科学研究超出了社会道德范围之外的 我们是不应该赞同的
        科学研究的前提是不应该给社会带来危害的前提下
        但是有些科学研究的成果可能会给社会带来很多麻烦
        比如说克隆技术
        克隆技术的成果会给社会带来不稳定的因素
        因为它会引发许多道德,法律等问题
        所以类如克隆技术的研究是不应该提倡的

总的来说：语法错误比较多，句子结构有点混乱，例子方面尚待改善，但是思路明确有论证层次，顺序稍微替换一下就好。纯属个人意见~~~~

dengbeiyinUID: 2765999

第二篇限时的Argument。。。字数不多，450+，改动之后550左右。。轻轻拍~~

题目：ARGUMENT166 - The following appeared in a local newspaper.
"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

With a comparison between the two popular OTC cold medications, Coldex and Cold-Away(CA), the author makes a suggestion that people who have more concern about health should choose CA because of its longer time on the market, and popular usage among hospitals as well as the less severe undesirable side effect. At first glance, this argument seems reasonable. However, careful scrutiny reveals some critical fallacies in its reasoning thus making it inconvincible as it stands.
To begin with, the author fails to establish a necessary relationship between the length of time that medications have been on the market and its effectiveness. The author unfairly presumes that the longer medications have been for sale, the more effective they are, which has no evidence to lend credit support to. Perhaps Coldex, a new product appearing on the market, contains elements that can help patients get rid of cold in a shorter time than CA because of the development of technology with less side effects. In the absence of comprehensive analysis about the elements the two medications contain and studies about their effectiveness, the author cannot warrant a further linkage between the time on the market and the effectiveness, thus leaving his argument open to doubt.
Another threshold problem with this argument involves the demonstration about the unwanted side effect caused by two medications put forward by the author. As is mentioned in this article, each brand has made an accusation about the side effects of the other, which is a common way for advertizing and competition and has no ground to depend on. No research is offered in the argument to prove the so-called symptoms resulted from taking these medications. Even assuming that the side effects do exist, the author's claim is still gratuitous. It can't be denied that people who suffer from health problems concerning about blood pressure should be conscious when taking drugs. However, the author fails to take into account another scenario that Coldex can be more effective when taken by people who hasn't any danger for the occurrence of high blood pressure. It is short of legitimacy to exclude Coldex from people's choice regardless of its effectiveness that can contribute to the recovery of cold for people who do not have diseases of high blood pressure. After all, drowsiness is more common among patients while high blood pressure, as the author points out, is only existing. The self-contradictory information provided renders the author's recommendation premature at best.
Additionally, that whether the wide usage of CA among hospitals can be a reason for the choice remains a question. As for OTC medications that can be purchased without a prescription, suggestions from doctors may not be the most reasonable because there can be a myriad of factors that have been taken into consideration of the usage of CA. For instance, CA cost less while Coldex is much more expensive due to the new technology applied in the production. Or perhaps more hospitals have commitments with the producers of CA and promise to use CA when prescribing. Without ruling out all these factors, the author cannot justifiably make any suggestion.
To sum up, the credibility of this argument is skeptical without any detailed and reliable information about the two medications. To further bolster the claim the author should provide valid evidence as discussed above.

bzr2915UID: 2612029

改楼上童鞋的

题目：ARGUMENT166 - The following appeared in a local newspaper.
"People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor's prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of causing some well-known, unwanted side effect: Coldex is known to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the choice should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective."

With a comparison between the two popular OTC （蛮专业）cold medications, Coldex and Cold-Away(CA), the author makes a suggestion that people who have more concern about health should choose CA because of its longer time on the market, and popular usage among hospitals as well as the less severe undesirable side effect. At first glance, this argument seems reasonable. However, careful scrutiny reveals some critical fallacies in its reasoning thus making it inconvincible as it stands.（开头没问题，蛮规矩）

To begin with, the author fails to establish a necessary relationship between the length of time that medications have been on the market and its effectiveness. The author unfairly presumes that the longer medications have been for sale, the more effective they are, which has no evidence to lend credit support to. Perhaps Coldex, a new product appearing on the market, contains elements that can help patients get rid of cold in a shorter time than CA because of the development of technology with less side effects（有待商榷）. In the absence of comprehensive analysis about the elements the two medications contain and studies about their effectiveness, the author cannot warrant a further linkage between the time on the market and the effectiveness, thus leaving his argument open to doubt.

Another threshold problem with this argument involves the demonstration about the unwanted side effect caused by two medications put forward by the author. As is mentioned in this article, each brand has made an accusation about the side effects of the other, which is a common way for advertizing and competition and has no ground to depend on（咬文嚼字一下原题中有WELL-KNOWN这个字眼儿，这里不如就着他的意思分析嗜睡和高血压的利弊，对没有高血压的可能COLDEX是更好的选择，同时嗜睡也会带来严重的后果）. No research is offered in the argument to prove the so-called symptoms resulted from taking these medications. Even assuming that the side effects do exist, the author's claim is still gratuitous. It can't be denied that people who suffer from health problems concerning about blood pressure should be conscious when taking drugs. However, the author fails to take into account another scenario that Coldex can be more effective when taken by people who hasn't any danger for the occurrence of high blood pressure. It is short of legitimacy to exclude Coldex from people's choice regardless of its effectiveness that can contribute to the recovery of cold for people who do not have diseases of high blood pressure. After all, drowsiness is more common among patients while high blood pressure, as the author points out, is only existing.（接着深入分析一下嗜睡的潜在危险，会更有说服力） The self-contradictory information provided renders the author's recommendation premature at best.

Additionally, that whether the wide usage of CA among hospitals can be a reason for the choice（落在EFFECTIVE而不是CHOCIE，挑一下小刺儿） remains a question. As for OTC medications that can be purchased without a prescription, suggestions from doctors may not be the most reasonable because there can be a myriad of factors that have been taken into consideration of the usage of CA. For instance, CA cost less while Coldex is much more expensive due to the new technology applied in the production. Or perhaps more hospitals have commitments with the producers of CA and promise to use CA when prescribing. Without ruling out all these factors, the author cannot justifiably make any suggestion.

To sum up, the credibility of this argument is skeptical without any detailed and reliable information about the two medications. To further bolster the claim the author should provide valid evidence as discussed above。

整篇文章语言，逻辑都很不错，论证部分如果能更加细腻，定会锦上添花~ 加油~

bzr2915UID: 2612029

看这里 下一篇为75楼RODGOOD童鞋的 楼下继续接力~

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the society today with the rapid development of science and culture, it seems that much is getting so new and complex that we cannot get any help from the past, which means old and out of date, when we encounter problems today. However, we need not to be so pessimistic. From the two factors, inner one and outer one, leading to the growth of society and what the reality is, it is convinced that we can take advantage of the past to guide our lives today.

To begin with, the factors that influence the society are supposed to be discussed, which can be generated into two, inner factor and outer factor.

On one hand, the inner factor, the humanity, remains the same. Why is humanity the inner factor of societies? In the history of human beings, people are the constructor of societies. The development of societies depends on people's behaviors mostly determined by humanity. That is to say, the essentials of human beings always influence where societies go. So what is humanity? The Renaissance artists used their brushes and melodies to depict people's pursuit of love, genuineness, and beauty. The Japanese film, Rashomon, uncovered the dark side of humanity: selfish, unreliability, and imperceptibility. Although these works were temporary, their significance of grasping the humanity correctly is of lasting value. Since for thousands of years the humanity does not change, there will be similarities of people's activities even in different period that make the societies having similarities.


On the other hand, the outer factor, the objective rules of development of things, is consistent. Firstly, time is continuous, so no development in our lives is discrete. For example, in scientific research, every breakthrough is based on the former achievements. It is like a ladder leading to the sky; every rung of which contributes to the next. Similarly, everything develops step by step. Secondly, every development has the process of start, development, and end. We come to the world from birth, we grow up to adulthood, and we die within 100 years. Not only lives, but also other things have such experience, such as a big company, a nation, even the little pen we use everyday. Thirdly, results must have their causes. From consequences, we can retrospect their reasons and think about how the reasons cause the consequences. So the development of things has regular patterns to follow.

Therefore, although societies at different times look different, there are probably similarities and laws for us to refer to, which of course can guide our lives today.

Actually, we are living in an era where people exert the past to guide them before making decisions. In the field of politics, politicians create as well as carry out policies referring to formers to try their best to avoid similar failures, thus bring about prosperity. In the field of economy, researches on economic phenomena are launched to find out new laws, and provide theoretical support for government to make decisions. In the field of military science, leaders research the famous battles and military book when making aggressive strategies. A good example is the theme of Improve the State of the World in the World Economic Forum (WEF) Annual Meeting in Davos, Switzerland in January, 2010: Rethink, Redesign, Rebuild. Obviously, the first one is “rethink.” Rethink what? Rethink the past. Rethink the financial crisis that has not yet passed by, rethink the triggers of the crisis, rethink the essential causes, rethink the world, rethink ourselves, and rethink the history. They are the premise of “redesign” and “rebuild.” Only when we slow down our fast steps and look back to the road we have walked on can we recognize what we gain as well as lose that guide our living at present and in the future.

In sum, from the points of disciplines of development and humanity, we are able to understand the world and history more comprehensively, which guide us from what we get by studying the past. It is of great significance because today will turn into yesterday and we should grow from it. Fortunately, we are doing so.

雪然UID: 2773876

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the society today with the rapid development of science and culture, it seems that much is getting so new and complex that we cannot get any help from the past, which means old and out of date, when we encounter problems today. （这里可以分成两句写，层次更清晰，原句稍显累赘了）However, we need not （we don't need to be)to be so pessimistic. From the two factors, inner one and outer one, leading to the growth of society and what the reality is, it is convinced that we can take advantage of the past to guide our lives today.

To begin with, the factors that influence the society are supposed to be discussed, which can be generated into two, inner factor and outer factor.(尽量避免重复）

On one hand, the inner factor, the humanity, remains the same. Why is humanity the inner factor of societies? In the history of human beings, people are the constructor of societies. The development of societies depends on people's behaviors mostly determined by humanity. That is to say, the essentials of human beings always influence where societies go. So what is humanity? The Renaissance artists used their brushes and melodies to depict people's pursuit of love, genuineness, and beauty. The Japanese film, Rashomon, uncovered the dark side of humanity: selfish, unreliability, and imperceptibility. Although these works were temporary, their significance of grasping the humanity correctly is of lasting value. Since for thousands of years the humanity does not change, there will be similarities of people's activities even in different period that make the societies having similarities.


On the other hand, the outer factor, the objective rules of development of things, is consistent. Firstly, time is continuous, so no development in our lives is discrete. For example, in scientific research, every breakthrough is based on the former achievements. It is like a ladder leading to the sky; every rung of which contributes to the next（尽量避免这种句子，rater更喜欢具有实质性内容的例子）. Similarly, everything develops step by step. Secondly, every development has the process of start, development, and end. We come to the world from birth, we grow up to adulthood, and we die within 100 years. Not only lives, but also other things have such experience, such as a big company, a nation, even the little pen we use everyday. Thirdly, results must have their causes. From consequences, we can retrospect their reasons and think about how the reasons cause the consequences. So the development of things has regular patterns to follow.

Therefore, although societies at different times look different, there are probably similarities and laws for us to refer to, which of course can guide our lives today.

Actually, we are living in an era where people exert the past to guide them before making decisions. In the field of politics, politicians create as well as carry out policies referring to formers to try their best to avoid similar failures, thus bring about prosperity. In the field of economy, researches on economic phenomena are launched to find out new laws, and provide theoretical support for government to make decisions. In the field of military science, leaders research the famous battles and military book when making aggressive strategies. A good example is the theme of Improve the State of the World in the World Economic Forum (WEF) Annual Meeting in Davos, Switzerland in January, 2010: Rethink, Redesign, Rebuild. Obviously, the first one is “rethink.” Rethink what? Rethink the past. Rethink the financial crisis that has not yet passed by, rethink the triggers of the crisis, rethink the essential causes, rethink the world, rethink ourselves, and rethink the history. They are the premise of “redesign” and “rebuild.” Only when we slow down our fast steps and look back to the road we have walked on can we recognize what we gain as well as lose that guide our living at present and in the future.

In sum, from the points of disciplines of development and humanity, we are able to understand the world and history more comprehensively, which guide us from what we get by studying the past. It is of great significance because today will turn into yesterday and we should grow from it. Fortunately, we are doing so.

在issue中，排比句的应用应不超过一次，并且应精心构思。
遣词造句还是有中文的影子。
逻辑慎密还应加强～～～加油～祝取得好成绩

雪然UID: 2773876

求拍～～！！！
Issue 48 "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."

Words:455
When we are looking into a history book, most of the content involves great historical individuals whose were probably the key factor of the development of history. However, I consider that the forgotten groups of people play an even more important role in history progress.

There is an old chinses proverb says that:: when a great general borned, millions of people die for him. History always remember the famous people because of their brilliant story. For instance, one of the most famous general in the liberation of new china, Chenyi, was remembered and respected by Chinese people because of both his impressive talent in war commending and noble heart of loving his own country. This famous general did won a large number of important battles while his soldier preformed bravely which make him deserve to be immortalized by the history. however, Chenyi won’t be able to conduct the army perfectly unless his soldiers show high ability in practicing. Instead of talking about the admiring story of the general, the contribution of soldiers is of greater significant. That is to say, individuals could not become an vital role of historical event without the support of common people. Another reason leading to this consequence is perhaps people like Chenyi got much more opportunity of publication while other donot. Normal people in certain area need idols to attract their attention and give them hope of future, then a hero came into being answering  the call of time.

Although great leads possess some characters superior than normal person, the most significant historical event were made by groups of people. Human beings is a kind of species good at coorperate which is because most of things is hard to be accomplished by personal effort. For example, when the 1998 flood disaster happened in china, millions of people went to the front line to built dams and serve as lifeguard. Some of them rescued survivers at risk of losing their lives. Now what we remember about this event is the leader’s speech of how to deal with the disaster, while those real heroes came from all over the  world  and word as the main force of the rescue mission and reconstraction are no longer remembered by us.

History should immortalised the memories of group of people. It is them who significantly made the events and trends in history. But we may encounter with difficulties that is hardly possible to figure out their names and what actually they did. Failing to document the great story of them, which is also a crucial embarrassment of historian, is pretty frustrated. We still can say The most significant events and trends in history were made by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

leslinUID: 2571497

我来改一下 by leslin

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."

In the society today with the rapid development of science and culture, it seems that much is getting so new and complex that we cannot get any help from the past, which means old and out of date(这里应该是out-of-date，有连字符的), when we encounter problems today. However, we need not to be so pessimistic（感觉用悲观这样的字眼不太合适，感觉用unwise或者是impertinent好一些）. From the two factors, inner one and outer one, leading to the growth of society and what the reality is（这个和inner和outer的关系好像不是特别大）, it is convinced that we can take advantage of the past to guide our lives today.

To begin with, the factors that influence the society are supposed to be discussed, which can be generated into two, inner factor and outer factor.

On one hand, the inner factor, the humanity, remains the same. Why is humanity the inner factor of societies? In the history of human beings, people are the constructor of societies. The development of societies depends on people's behaviors mostly determined by humanity. That is to say, the essentials of human beings always influence where societies go. So what is humanity? The Renaissance artists used their brushes and melodies to depict people's pursuit of love, genuineness, and beauty. The Japanese film, Rashomon, uncovered the dark side of humanity: selfish, unreliability, and imperceptibility. Although these works were temporary, their significance of grasping the humanity correctly is of lasting value. Since for thousands of years the humanity does not change, there will be similarities of people's activities even in different period that make the societies having similarities. （感觉这里作者用了很多篇幅来解释人性是什么，而过少提及人性和社会发展之间的关系，虽然前面说到了人性为什么是社会的内在因素，但是这里并没有用具体的例子来说明，感觉有些过于抽象。其实我觉得可以把解释人性时用的例子再加以和社会上相同性质事件的对比，放到前面也比较合适。另外，GRE的作文里面还是不要用问句比较好。）

On the other hand, the outer factor, the objective rules of development of things, is consistent. Firstly, time is continuous, so no development in our lives is discrete. For example, in scientific research, every breakthrough is based on the former achievements. It is like a ladder leading to the sky; every rung of which contributes to the next. Similarly, everything develops step by step. Secondly, every development has the process of start, development, and end. We come to the world from birth, we grow up to adulthood, and we die within 100 years. Not only lives, but also other things have such experience, such as a big company, a nation, even the little pen we use everyday. Thirdly, results must have their causes. From consequences, we can retrospect their reasons and think about how the reasons cause the consequences. So the development of things has regular patterns to follow. （这里感觉每一个小论点之间的联系有些散，而且最后缺少一个句子把之前的三个论点有效的结合起来——也就是三个论点间的逻辑关系，作者用的句子有点儿笼统——直接so...）

Therefore, although societies at different times look different, there are probably similarities and laws for us to refer to, which of course can guide our lives today.

Actually, we are living in an era where people exert the past to guide them before making decisions. In the field of politics, politicians create as well as carry out policies referring to formers to try their best to avoid similar failures, thus bring about prosperity. In the field of economy, researches on economic phenomena are launched to find out new laws, and provide theoretical support for government to make decisions. In the field of military science, leaders research the famous battles and military book when making aggressive strategies. A good example is the theme of Improve the State of the World in the World Economic Forum (WEF) Annual Meeting in Davos, Switzerland in January, 2010: Rethink, Redesign, Rebuild. Obviously, the first one is “rethink.” Rethink what? Rethink the past. Rethink the financial crisis that has not yet passed by, rethink the triggers of the crisis, rethink the essential causes, rethink the world, rethink ourselves, and rethink the history. They are the premise of “redesign” and “rebuild.” Only when we slow down our fast steps and look back to the road we have walked on can we recognize what we gain as well as lose that guide our living at present and in the future.
（这里作者用的世界经济论坛的例子确实不错，但是这个表达方式有些口语化了，感觉有再修饰一下的必要。另外，其他的例子有些累赘了，而且还不是很具体，可以考虑删掉。）
In sum, from the points of disciplines of development and humanity, we are able to understand the world and history more comprehensively, which guide us from what we get by studying the past. It is of great significance because today will turn into yesterday and we should grow from it. Fortunately, we are doing so.（感觉最后一段应该把前面几个段落再大概总结一下，把关系再连得紧一些）

总体感觉作者的思路还是很清晰的，各个论点都很不错。但是我觉得语言上面还需要注意几个点：
1.不要太口语化：在好些个段子里面都有这个问题
2.分段不要太多：第一个论述部分分了四个段，太多了，容易产生赘述感
3.分论点与总论点的联系不够紧密。

个人愚见，还请多指教。可能写作风格不是很一样，仅供参考，互相加油吧！

leslinUID: 2571497

我的一篇，求拍~~~~ by leslin

161."The way students and scholars interpret the materials they work within their academic fields is more a matter of personality than of training. Different interpretations come about when people with different personalities look at exactly the same objects, facts, data, or events and see different things."
Words: 500
As we can see from the speaker’s statement, interpretations of working materials in academic fields vary from person to person because of different personalities rather than respective training. It is partly true that personality somehow influence the understanding of different or same materials. However, training also plays a so important role in interpretation of materials that it is unwise to judge that personality owns more significance than training does in the understanding of academic materials.

Admittedly, personality reflects the thinking pattern of an individual. Thus, it inevitably influences the understanding of academic materials, which related to thinking patterns as well. For example, in physical area, there lies a famous controversy between Einstein and Feynman about the internal philosophical basis, the probability theory in the dynamic motion of microscopic particles. Feynman believed that the dynamic motion of microscopic particles is determined by the probability, which means that the motion of particles cannot be calculated accurately forever.
Feynman even said “Although we don’t want to believe, this shows how the nature works”. While on the other hand, Einstein held the completely opposite view. He claimed that “God do not play ” to fight Feynman’s idea back because he strongly insisted that this kind of agnostic cannot be permitted in scientific researches. Finally, Einstein just acknowledged that the phenomenon of particles catered the probability theory just in coincidence and their true meaning was still unrevealed. We can see that though Feynman and Einstein both worked in the same area and received similar training in physics, yet their understanding and conclusion about a problem separated greatly because of their own personality.

However, training of certain subjects plays an important role in the interpretations of academic materials as well. For instance, when engineering students in building construction scan a blueprint of a skyscraper, all legends on this paper will show the same interpretations in their minds, which won’t be regarded as something else in that they are trained to recognize the meanings of certain legends. What’s more, students in mathematics nearly all agree to the meanings of some symbols such as plus, minus, logarithms and so on, which depends on their education of the basis of mathematics but not their personalities. In addition, Newton and Leibniz, for another example, both reach the conclusion of calculus formation from the same mathematical data in case that Newton was a bit of arrogance at that time while Leibniz was relatively humble. The difference of personality does not lead to the difference of the scientific conclusion. It is clear that personality do not determine the understanding of academic materials alone since training also plays a significant part.

As all I mentioned above, personality and training are both determining factors of interpretations and understanding of the materials that scholars and students work within their academic fields. In certain cases personality shows up and in others training may be the main one. It is impertinent to compare these two without specific situation. Only in certain fields can the comparison be available.

emteddybearUID: 2699606

( ⊙o⊙ )哇，越来越火了，好现象 改83楼


⊙﹏⊙b汗一个， 我看了半天确实找不到你的毛病所在，于是乎找rodgood改了一下，这是他改的内容，谢谢他吧

我的一篇，求拍~~~~ by leslin
181."The way students and scholars interpret the materials they work within their academic fields is more a matter of personality than of training. Different interpretations come about when people with different personalities look at exactly the same objects, facts, data, or events and see different things."
Words: 500

As we can see from the speaker’s statement, interpretations of working materials in academic fields vary from person to person because of different personalities rather than respective training. It is partly true that personality somehow influence the understanding of different or same materials. However, training also plays a so important role in interpretation of materials that it is unwise to judge that personality owns more significance than training does in the understanding of academic materials.

Admittedly, personality reflects the thinking pattern of an individual. Thus, it inevitably influences the understanding of academic materials, which related to thinking patterns as well. For example, in physical area, there lies a famous controversy between Einstein and Feynman about the internal philosophical basis, the probability theory in the dynamic motion of microscopic particles. Feynman believed that the dynamic motion of microscopic particles is determined by the probability, which means that the motion of particles cannot be calculated accurately forever.
Feynman even said “Although we don’t want to believe, this shows how the nature works”. While on the other hand, Einstein held the completely opposite view. He claimed that “God do not play ” to fight Feynman’s idea back because he strongly insisted that this kind of agnostic cannot be permitted in scientific researches. Finally, Einstein just acknowledged that the phenomenon of particles catered the probability theory just in coincidence and their true meaning was still unrevealed. We can see that though Feynman and Einstein both worked in the same area and received similar training in physics, yet their understanding and conclusion about a problem separated greatly because of their own personality.（好像没有反应出personality，就只说了不同的人看法不同，personality是怎样影响他们做决定和判断的？这是我个人的意见）
科学家的研究观点没有太多源于人格吧，这不符合大科学家严谨的科学态度。他们治学都是很客观的。之所以观点不同，也是取决于他们的教育背景，研究的侧重点等等。个人观点而已。另外，例子太专业了，仿佛也适得其反吧。

However, training of certain subjects plays an important role in the interpretations of academic materials as well. For instance, when engineering students in building construction scan a blueprint of a skyscraper, all legends on this paper will show the same interpretations in their minds, which won’t be regarded as something else in that they are trained to recognize the meanings of certain legends. What’s more, students in mathematics nearly all agree to the meanings of some symbols such as plus, minus, logarithms and so on, which depends on their education of the basis of mathematics but not their personalities. In addition, Newton and Leibniz, for another example, both reach the conclusion of calculus formation from the same mathematical data in case that Newton was a bit of arrogance at that time while Leibniz was relatively humble. The difference of personality does not lead to the difference of the scientific conclusion. It is clear that personality do not determine the understanding of academic materials alone since training also plays a significant part.例子都很有说服力，有一点就是例子与例子之间好像没有什么递进的关系。
貌似就只有三个例子，加一句主题句和结尾句
As all I mentioned above, personality and training are both determining factors of interpretations and understanding of the materials that scholars and students work within their academic fields. In certain cases personality shows up and in others training may be the main one. It is impertinent to compare these two without specific situation. Only in certain fields can the comparison be available.结尾来看，说不同的情况下人格和训练起的作用程度不同，即看情况而定。但是body里面并没有提到如何分情况，哪类情况如何，哪类情况又如何，仅仅是笼统地说两者都可能存在。所以这样结尾下来，给人的感觉还是很模糊，有疑问。

emteddybearUID: 2699606

TOPIC: ARGUMENT35 - The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.

"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
WORDS: 322 (改后467)
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-4 12:04:35
深刻感觉要是没有仔细写过提纲就写，思想就太混乱了
In this argument, based on a twenty-year study, the arguer claims that the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia will continue to decline steadily. This argument seems logical at the first glance. However, a close scrutiny reveals that the argument suffers from several fallacies as follows and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the argument is based on the assumption that Salicylates is similar to aspirin in the use of treating headaches. There is no evidence to support that chemicals are at the same family play the same role. It is possible that Salicylates and aspirin are much different in medical usage although their chemical constructions are quite the same. Perhaps Salicylates induces the headaches. So, it is too hastily to make the conclusion that Salicylates can be used in treating headaches.

Secondly, the author overlooks the change of the population. It is entirely that the whole population is reduced, and even though the number of headache patients has been declined, the rate of the patients to whole population is increased. What’s more, even we concede that the rate of the patients has been decline and Salicylates helps to treat headaches, there is on evidence to conclude that it plays such a great role to make the number declined. The author fails to consider other possible alternative explanations for the decline in the number of headache patients in the past several decades. It is possible that in the environment of Mentia has been improved, or the medical technology is more advanced than before. It might also be the case that the pressure of people in Mentia has been decreased. Any way, before ruling out these alternative explanations, the arguer can not convince us the reliability of the study.

Thirdly, even we concede that the study is substantial, the arguer generalize too hastily to conclude that the number of headache patients will continue to decline. Similar as the alternatives mentioned in the third paragraph, it is possible that the life style of people in Mentia is less healthier, that the working pressure is higher in the future, or that the pollution of Mentia will be more serious. Under those circumstances, the headaches may be increased. Moreover, even if the possibly causes discussed above, the arguer overlooks the quantity of Salicylates used as flavor additions. It is possible that too much Salicylates added into food may cause side effects to our body, and even may decrease the efficiency of Salicylates. Hence, the conclusion about the declining in the number of headache patients is not reasonable.

Based on the discussion mentioned above, the argument is neither logical nor persuasive. To strength the argument, the arguer would have to provide some medical report of Salicylates on headache and the basic life condition of Mentia

__ayUID: 2688700

晕哦  仔细一看才发现我一会也是要限时写这篇  正好帮我先提前想一下提纲~~呵呵
TOPIC: ARGUMENT35 - The following appeared in the summary of a study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia.

"Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, for the past several decades food-processing companies have also been adding salicylates to foods as preservatives. This rise in the commercial use of salicylates has been found to correlate with a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by participants in our twenty-year study. Recently, food-processing companies have found that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods. With this new use for salicylates, we can expect a continued steady decline in the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia."
WORDS: 322 (改后467)
TIME: 00:30:00
DATE: 2010-3-4 12:04:35
深刻感觉要是没有仔细写过提纲就写，思想就太混乱了

In this argument, based on a twenty-year study, the arguer claims that the number of headaches suffered by the average citizen of Mentia will continue to decline steadily. This argument seems logical at the first glance. However, a close scrutiny reveals that the argument suffers from several fallacies as follows and is therefore unconvincing as it stands.

First of all, the argument is based on the assumption that Salicylates(the function of Salicylates) is similar to aspirin in the use of treating headaches. There is no evidence to support that chemicals are at the same family playing the same role(这句话说不清楚，你是想说相同家族的药品是否不一定有一样的效果  直接来个问句 Dose chemicals which belong to the same family exert the same effect in the treatment? Obiously, the answer is not. ). It is possible that Salicylates and aspirin are much different in medical usage although their chemical constructions are quite the same(显然你这个结论存在一个漏洞，就是他们用法不同不意味着S没有治头痛的功效，反驳不彻底). Perhaps Salicylates induces the headaches(啥子意思？). So(替换一下 thus,therefore,hence啥的同义词), it is too hastily to make the conclusion that Salicylates can be used in treating headaches.
这段攻击理由太薄弱了，医药上的用法不同没法完全反驳作者  个人觉得说就算S和A是属于一个家族的，但是不以为着他们的功能完全相同，因为很可能A有治头痛的功效而S没有

Secondly, the author overlooks the change of the population. It is entirely(possible) that the whole population is reduced, and even though the number of headache patients has been declined, the rate of the patients to whole population is increased.(在这20年如果人口减少并且样本数不变的话，比率上升 说的很混乱~) What’s more, even we concede that the rate of the patients has been decline and Salicylates helps to treat headaches, there is on evidence to conclude that it plays such a great role to make the number declined. The author fails to consider other possible alternative explanations for the decline in the number of headache patients in the past several decades.（没有进一步解释为什么S无法帮助头疼的人减少 分析深度不够） It is possible that in the environment（生活水平？standard of living） of Mentia has been improved, or the medical technology is more advanced than before. It might also be the case that the pressure of people in Mentia has been decreased（然后咧？没说压力导致头疼作为铺垫，这一句话貌似很酱油）. Any way, before ruling out these alternative explanations, the arguer can not convince us the reliability of the study.
人口减少导致比率上升这段攻击的不是很好，题目说的是头疼的人数变少，你攻击比例变少貌似不对马嘴。。。。  然而另外2个攻击点分析不够深

Thirdly, even we concede that the study is substantial, the arguer generalize too hastily to conclude that the number of headache patients will continue to decline. Similar as the alternatives mentioned in the third paragraph, it is possible that the life style of people in Mentia is less healthier（healthy。。。）, that(which) the working pressure is higher in the future（为什么是未来呢？个人觉得in the future 应该换成in the present）, or that(which) the pollution of Mentia will be more serious（这句话不清不楚。。。建议重新写一下）. Under those circumstances(if this is the case), the headaches may(could) be increased. Moreover, even if the possibly causes discussed above(这句话别扭。。。读不懂 只知道是让步。。。), the arguer overlooks the quantity of Salicylates used as flavor additions. It is possible that too much Salicylates added into food may cause side effects to our body（铺垫说化学反应会好一些 S和其它物质有化学反应后就没那效果了）, and even may decrease the efficiency of Salicylates. Hence, the conclusion about the declining in the number of headache patients is not reasonable.
不一定要找多个攻击点分析来凑字数  其实分析深入一些就好了  比如说可能是M地方的人的习惯不好导致了头疼数会增加，然后接着分析M地方可能的背景比如说因为M城政府过于看重发展而忽略了其它方面而导致了严重污染和工作压力过大 然后分析他导致的结果怎样怎样 没话说了在考虑分析严重污染是污染了人们的食用水源等等

Based on the discussion mentioned above, the argument is neither logical nor persuasive. To strength the argument, the arguer would have to provide some medical report of Salicylates on headache and the basic life condition（the condition of basic life） of Mentia

__ayUID: 2688700

纠结的一篇文章，  早上第一次写--》失败告终  删了重新限时40分钟  搞定
不过思绪应该是乱到家了  自己没整理就扔上来了  委屈帮我改的那个人了。。。 狠狠拍吧  11号考试到时候你想拍都没法拍了  呵呵

120 "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present." [05/33; 06/9]
现代生活是崭新、复杂的，认知过去对现在没有指导价值。

The author contends that people can learn little from the past because of the present society totally different from the past. However, I can hardly agree with the author, for the reason that the essential of human nature are the key to improve the life of human in spirit, which cannot be converted with the progress of the society.

To begin with, truly that the world moves ahead as a unpredictable speed so that the people have a illusion that the past one has been useless because of the world they living now are entirely distinct from the past. As a topical example, the dramatic improvement of the Internet not only shorts the distance for each people but also changes the way people live. Thus, people now communicate by the IM soft rather than the letter, and people charge their goods in the website rather than in the shop. Simply put, the advanced technology generally converts the way people live and change the way world goes. As a result, people cannot help ask, "What matter if we abandon the past? It is a completely two worlds for the present and the past."

However, though the dramatic change of the world leads to the illusion that things of past makes no sense to the present society, the essential instinct of human contained in the culture such as the pursuing of beauty, the care to the relatives, etc is remained the same as before and still has a profound impact on the modern life. Hence, these things become a main factor to heavily affect the people's mind for the reason that they could light up people by imbuing them with a positive attitude towards life or inspire people by telling them the successful case before. As the Carnival Day helps people release their depression, the Thanksgiving Day teaches people enjoying lives, and the Spring Festival warms people by the care from the other members of family.

Furthermore, the history, regarded as a mirror to the current society which tells the incidents repeating again and again in the past in order to help people avoid the same mistakes happened before, always play a vital rule on directing the way society develops. Therefore, history, which records the past, in some extent, is beneficial to the promotion of the society. Its value is not by changing the world on the surface, but by avoiding the disaster though interpreting people its rules. For instance, it is the World War Two, perceived a catastrophe for the human being, which makes the world's progress come to a halt. Hence, the truth that the war brings the death as a devil and the peace brings the bliss as an angel is widely recognized by people.

To sum up, the author unfairly assumes that the world's change are too swift so as to people learns nothing from past because he lacks a profound understanding of the influence of the history, which keep direct the people's moral standard and inspire people, which is a indirect way to benefit the promotion of society.


1. 的确现代生活史崭新的,复杂的 然而过去的社会进步很慢而且人们生活也很简单
        然而随着科技的发展,社会的发展变得越来越快
        特别是因特网的发展，使得人们交流越来越方便
        随之而来的是信息爆炸的这一个现象（phenomenon）
        导致人们生活的更新也越来越快,处理的信息越来越复杂
        所以人们开始怀疑 为什么要研究过去呢？现在跟过去是完全的2个世界
       
2. 的确现代生活崭新,但是不代表不应该关注过去.
        这几百年来人们的生活中被改变的仅仅是外表
        但是那些精神上的东西才是决定人们生活的关键
        对美好的追求，对家人的关心等等人类本能的美德还是改没变
        比如传统节日是能够inspire people的       
        在狂欢节中的活动让你释放压抑
        在感恩节中的反省让你重新认识生活
        在春节中的团聚让你温暖
       
3. 从历史的规律中我们知道，过去的事情还是有必要借鉴的
        过去的历史中可以学到一些经验,这些经验可以帮助我们避免同样的错误
        比如说二战的教训中教导我们只有和平才会带来快速的发展,战争只会带来破坏

rodgoodUID: 2619326

87楼我改吧~

rodgoodUID: 2619326

谢谢~~


TOPIC: ISSUE136 - "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."

In our daily lives, we always complain no choice for us. But before making the complaint, we are supposed to ask ourselves: is it ourselves or the society that deprive us from our choices? I side with the speaker that the absence of choice is a rare circumstance because neither ourselves nor the society limits the choices for us to make.

Admittedly, in some emergencies, it seems that we have no alternative but to follow the fate. But even at this moment, we still can make our own choice. For example, after earthquake, if someone is trapped inside a house and cannot get escaped, as we may think, what they can do is staying there, keeping alive, and waiting for help. Most of them do it and are rescued. But several do not, and they have alternative. In the search and rescue work after the Wenchuan earthquake in 2008, when searchers managed to get into a collapsed house, they were stunned by what they saw. A baby was sucking her mother's finger, sleeping; while the mother had been dead for several hours. The great mother fed her baby with her blood at the cost her life. Rationally, the mother could insist until help came, but she gave up. She chose to prolong her baby's life with hers. This may be an extreme example, but it obviously demonstrate that even in emergencies, when people believe no choice to make, alternatives may still exist. At these moments, what determines the choice is mostly depended on people's inner heart.

Yes, inner heart plays an important role in making choice because in many cases if there have been biases in our minds, other choices look disappeared, although they exist. On one hand, the bias may come from our emotions. For instance, in a boy's eyes, his girlfriend is the best one in the world. He loves her. One day they break up for some reasons, the boy is so sad that he may think except for the girl he has no choice because she is irreplaceable. However, the fact probably is that there maybe other girls more suitable for him. On the other hand, the bias may come from our conservation. Life is always at risk, but most of us would rather choose to be relatively safer. Although results are not so bad, they cannot be excellent. Hence, from the bottom of our hearts, we have made the choice, even before any other better and risky ones. That is to say, it is the bias in minds that covers our eyes, rather than no choice as we believe.

Actually, society provides us with varieties of choices in our lives. If we can keep our minds objective, they will show up possibly dazzling our eyes. As students, when facing graduation from colleges, there are many choices for our later careers. Someone prefers to continue their study at the same college or in other universities, or even abroad; someone is willing to hunt jobs in some corporations to make money; someone may want to realize their dreams by setting up their own companies. This is a problem not about whether or not there is a choice, but about which one to choose. So do other fields and conditions. Therefore, the circumstance of absent choice is very rare.

In sum, no matter what the condition is, our minds always veil our eyes especially when bias exists, leading us to believe that no choice is left to us. Comparing to complaint, what we should do is analyzing the situation combined with our realities objectively. Hence, we are able to make choice rationally and correctly.

rodgoodUID: 2619326

帖子沉了顶上来
应该不算“无关回复吧”？lz见谅~