作文求改

lyzhedaUID: 2578773

题库55：some people prefer to spend most of their time alone.Others like to be with friends most of their time. Do you prefer to spend your time alone or with friends?Use specific reasons to support your answer.

第一次计时练习独立作文，超时10分钟了。。。请猛批之。。。多谢


Mary has no friend. She go to class alone ,eat by herself and go shopping without anyone else.In her mind, she lead a cheerful life, being quiet and without any interrupt.However, one night on her way home, she was knocked down by a car, with no one else acompany, as usulse. It was not until that day could she realize the signifitance of a friend. Indeed, with friends, one will be helped out in difficulty, will not troubled by feeling lonely, and will success easier.

A friend indeed is a friend in need. Friends are ready to offer help whenever one is in difficulty. That's to say, being with friends one can get rid of troubles: accidents ,set-backs, as examle, in that friends will give one a hand. If Mary have a friend, she will soon be taken into hospital, with families being told about this issue.In hospital,  she will be taken good care of, lying in the bed, watching TV, chating and smiling, feeling life so cherished.

One of the best way to aviod the sense of loney is to make friends and to be with friends. Christina, a proffeser in Zhejiang University, who published plenty of papers in the field of social communicaition made a reaserch about  the realationship between happyness and the number of friends.She found that the more friends one have, the higher happyness index one will get. Because friends can share the sunny of lives and shelter for the rainy days, one will not feel being isolated.

A person with lots of friends will success easier. Makeing friends and hanging out with friends can help one to develop out-reaching ability, which is an essencial part of success. Communication skills will be gained when staying with friends for the season that one can keep in touch of various kinds of person and get into divergant  ways of life. A person who has countless friends can master the key of management. This also contributes to a succesful life.

Condisering all the reasons stated above, being with fiends is supier to staying alone. If Mary has friends, she will be help out, feeling positive and being supported and thus she will lead a succesful life.

lyzhedaUID: 2578773

题库183 learning from the past  has no value for those of us living in the present.Do you agree or disagree? Use sspecific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

这次按时完成了~求拍

Some people say that it's useless to learn from the past for the reason that past experences can not adapt to the changing society. However, there are others who hold the opposite opinion.They stated that learning from the past is a key to success considerating the lessons learn from failures as well as the elements of carried out dreams. Laegely, as far as I am concerned,  I agree with the latter one. The reasons are as follows.

It definetly true that experences could be gained from whatever done before . A succesful experence will give one confidence of fulfilling the same kind of tasks, in addition, the shineling pionts of the issue. A work failed to meet the demand will  also be beneficial. At least, one can know the way is not suitable and one will be encourged to try new approaches.The results of issues are of  less importance, compared to the experences gained by people.

Taking the oppourtunity of forecasting into account, moreover, past has great value for people living in current society. Even a six year old child knows that learning from history one could be smart, with a deep insight into the rules of economy, cultrue and society.Truth lies in what happened. That is to say, it's adveriable for one to master whatever happned in the past, understand the reasons of each incidents and figure out the rules behind things. Only if one make good use of the rules to make a forecast of futrue, can he or she be successful.

Adimittedly, the society is changing everyday and it is neccersary to combine current situations and past experences when making a significant desicion. If one do nothing but to follow what learned from past, one will not success. The same happened to who knows the ever-changing world but ignore the past experences.

As the reasons stated above, on the contrary of the uselessness of past, it is wise to learn from the past, such as personal failure before as well as history. For one thing, experences ,which palys a key role in success, could be gained from what one did before.For another, learning from historty really makes one a better person. With experences at hands acompanyed by the attention to the changing world, suceess is just at sight.

lyzhedaUID: 2578773

题库 170 DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE WITH THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT? THE BEST WAY TO TRAVEL IS IN A GROUP LED BY A TOUR GUIDE.USE SPECIFIC REASONS AND EXAMPLES TO SUPPORT YOUR ANSWRR.

按时完成~

Coming to the ways of traveling, people will hold divergent opinions. Some people love tours with a guide who can explain the meaning of the tourists' attactions, telling interesting stories about them making the visit collorful.Others, however, prefer to pay visits by themselves, enjoying the freedom and quiet in the trip.As far as I am concerned, I have an inclination for the former one.The reasons are as follows.

Travelling with a tour guide, to some extend, can help one learn more in a trip, especially when visiting a historical site. The tour guide, who has been trained profesionally, will give one a greater insight into cultrue behind the sites, telling history stories and making one easier to know the origine of the site. The trip to the Forbidden City, located in Beijing, China, as an example, will be boring without the help of a guide. The reason is simple. One may not appreciate the buildings in it if he or she knows nothing about what happened in history of China.

A tour guide, in adition, will make the tour happier and filled with laughters. For one thing, a good tour guide must have talent of humor, making jokes and therefore make the trip comfortable. For another, it's of larger chance to make friends withwhom one shares a guide. In the trip, one can chat with friends, sharing the beuty of the senery and learning the cultrue of the sites. Christina, a junior in Zhejing University, meets her Mr. Right, who shares a guide with her, when she visit the West Lake last semester.

Last but not the least, one can concertrate on the enjoyment of sight seeing with a guide,who will ready to help you solve prombles. For instance, there's no need to worry about where to live and when to have meals in that the guide have orgnized all the issues for the tourists. It's convinient and comfortable.

Admittedly, there are mirits of travelling by oneself. For one thing, one can schedual freely according to one's own interests.For another, one can enjoy the peace and quiet moment. However, consifeding the prons of a guide stated above, it's adversiable for one to pay visits to sites with a proffesional tour guide, who will help to  make tour colorful as well as meaningful.

mpromanusUID: 2565872

这位童鞋我不知道你求改的到底是哪一篇啊？给你改了第一篇了。。

Mary has no friends. She goes to class alone, eats by herself and goes shopping without anyone else. In her mind, she leads a cheerful life, being quiet and without any interruption. However, one night on her way home, she was knocked down by a car, with no one else accompanying her, as usulse? (usual?). It was not until that day could she realize the signifitance of a friend. (I understand that you're trying to be 'specific', but to start an essay with such a detailed example is self-limiting in a way, and it is not really very informational. Examples should be used in the middle of your essay, not in the opening and ending paragraphs. Plus, there are two issues with your example: 1. Mary's problem is that she doesn't have anybody accompanying her and helping her out, and that person doesn't always need to be a friend; 2. Choosing to spend time alone doesn't necessarily equate to having no friends either. In fact, that's exactly the idea of 'PREFERing' to spend time alone: that even one may have friends, he can still spend much of his time alone by his own choice.) Indeed, with friends, one will be helped out in difficulty, will not be troubled by feeling lonely, and will succeed more easily. (The question is asking which one you PREFER. It's not asking you about the merits of having friends. You need to address what the question is asking you to do.)

A friend indeed is a friend in need (I think the proverb goes the other way round like 'A friend in need is a friend indeed.'..unless you have a good reason to do so, don't change a fixed expression.). Friends are ready to offer help whenever one is in difficulty. That's to say, being with friends one can get rid of troubles: accidents, set-backs, as examples, in that friends will give one a hand. If Mary had a friend, she will soon be taken into the hospital, with families being told about this issue. In the hospital, she will be taken good care of, lying in the bed, watching TV, chatting and smiling, feeling life being so cherished. (Now I see that you seem to be trying to use ONE example throughout your essay...an interesting attempt, but no. The question is asking for YOUR PREFERENCE. It's not asking about the good aspects of being with friends.)

One of the best ways to aviod the sense of loney (loneliness?) is to make friends and to be with friends. Christina, a proffessor in Zhejiang University, who published plenty of papers in the field of social communicaition made conducted a reaserch about the realationship between happiness and the number of friends. She found that the more friends one have, the higher a happiness index one will get (FYI: I wonder if you've ever heard of the expression 'too much of a good thing'. If there's one scientific fact that I've learned throughout all my years, then it would be 'every good thing would have a threshold, past which additions of the same good thing will make little difference'. I'm not criticizing the validity of your example, though, just that I find it hard to believe XD). Because friends can share the sunny days of lives and shelter for the rainy days (Your metaphors are very literal, but no, they are not good, because they seem to be translated from Chinese. Many expressions and their implications that we are used to in Chinese - like 'sunny days' meaning happiness, and 'rainy days' meaning sadness - either don't travel at all, or are expressed in differnt forms, so you can't just throw in such metaphors and hope people will understand. You need the ability to express in a more 'universal' vocabulary, like 'share the joy and sadness in life'.), one will not feel being isolated.

A person with lots of friends will success easier (See previous correction.). Makeing friends and hanging out with friends can help one to develop out-reaching the ability to reach out, which is an essencial part of success. Communication skills will be gained when staying with friends, for the season that one can keep in touch of various kinds of person people and get into divergent ways of life. A person who has countless friends can master the key of management. This also contributes to a succesful life. (Examples, examples, examples..your paragraph is just far too vague by TOEFL's standards.)

Considering all the reasons stated above, being with fiends is superior to staying alone. If Mary had friends, she will be helped out, feeling positive and being supported and thus she will lead a succesful life.

总结：

这位童鞋你的拼字要注意一下。。=.=

论述方面完全跑题。问题问的是 你 选择哪一个选项，而不是单纯的哪一个比哪一个好。一个选项就算不一定总是有好处，只要你有充分足够的理由，你还是可以选它 - 比如，每天花好多时间打电脑游戏普遍被认为不好，但是如果你是一个赢下一场总决赛就能赚多少多少万的职业电子竞技选手，你多半会选练习你的游戏技巧而不去上什么瑜伽班，对不对？所以你的选择和选择本身哪个好，完全是两回事情。当然，你可以说，因为这个选择比那个好，所以我喜欢选择这个 - 但是这句话你必须明确地写出来，否则你永远没有回答问题问你的东西，当然也就没有满足最基础的依题作文这个要求。所以作文一定要注意，要满足题目的要求，而不是看见一个题目就随便开始写。