[big fish] 3月4日 ARGUMENT14 by wowoyuweiwei

wowoyuweiweiUID: 2754055

TOPIC: ARGUMENT14 - The following appeared in a memo from the owner of Green Thumb Gardening Center, a small business serving a suburban town.
"There is evidence that consumers are becoming more and more interested in growing their own vegetables. A national survey conducted last month indicated that many consumers were dissatisfied with the quality of fresh vegetables available in supermarkets. And locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three months in a row. Thus, we at Green Thumb Gardening Center can increase our profits by greatly expanding the variety of vegetable seeds we stock for gardeners this coming spring."

The author told us that more and more consumers are interested in growing their own vegetables instead the ones in supermarkets and the magizine about the gardening sole well in last three months in this area. Therefore the writer assumed that their company can benefit a lot if they  wxpand the variety of vegetable seeds. However, in my perspective, the evidences given above fails to support this assumption.
First of all, the national survey can not reflect whether the citizens in GTGC are satisfied with the vegetables avaliable in the supermarkets. Maybe the people live here still like those in supermarkets and get vegetables as they used to. Why national unsatisfaction appeared is mainly because in other parts not including GTGC can not provide the fresh vegetables for the traffic problem which has not exist yet in this small town.
Secondly, locally, the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three month in a row does not mean the citizens dissatisfied with the quantity of the products sold in the supermarkets and decided to grow vegetables by themselves instead. The interest may caused by the number of unployment increased so that most of them have nothing to do everyday except reading all kinds of magazines. Thus, this in not a strong reason for the assumption.
Thirdly, even if the the reasons given above is ture, we should not say that we can increse the profits only by expanding the kinds of vegetables seeds. Basically, the factors for a plant growing are the weather, the temperature, the soil and so on. So, not all kinds of plants can grow well in GTGC. There is the possibility that only carrots can live in the certain situation like this small town. Therefore, this policy can not contribute to the increase of the profits.
Finally, to support the author's idea, there should have been the suvey conducted in this small town whose result is that the citizen do not like the vegetables in supermarket either. And then, for a better reason, the writer need also show that the reason for the well sell of this magazine is that the citizens decided to grow vegetables. At last, it should also provide readers that the policy of expanding the kinds of vegetables do help increase the profit.

CynthiaMomoLeeUID: 2587828

1# wowoyuweiwei

The author told(最好是一般式) us that more and more consumers are interested in growing their own vegetables instead （of） the ones in supermarkets and the magizine（magazine） about the gardening sole well in last three months in this area（好像只是一个stand（报亭））. Therefore the writer assumed that their company can benefit a lot if they  wxpand(expand) the variety of vegetable seeds. However, in my perspective, the evidences given above fails(fail) to support this assumption.
First of all, the national survey can not reflect whether the citizens in GTGC are satisfied with the vegetables available in the supermarkets. Maybe the people live（living） here still like those in supermarkets and get vegetables（此vegetables 与上上面的those替换一下，不然上面的those指代不清）  as they used to. Why national unsatisfaction appeared is mainly because in（去掉in ,否则because后面的从句没有主语） other parts not including GTGC can not provide the fresh vegetables for the traffic problem which has not exist yet in this small town.(理由显得有点单薄，仔细看看这段就俩句话，在多说点更好~还是针对survey,比如说调查中的参与者的数量啊，有无代表性啊)
Secondly, locally, that (句子作主语，得加that)the gardening magazine Great Gardens has sold out at the Village News stand three month（复数） in a row does not mean the citizens dissatisfied with the quantity（quality） of the products sold in the supermarkets and decided（一般时decides，这样才能体现是和前面的does not mean 是并列结构） to grow vegetables by themselves instead. The interest may （be）  caused by the number of unployment(unemployment) increased （increasing）so that most of them have nothing to do everyday except reading all kinds of magazines. Thus, this in(is) not a strong reason for the assumption.
Thirdly, even if the the(去掉the) reasons given above is(are) ture(true), we should not say that we can increase(increase) the profits only by expanding the kinds of vegetables seeds. Basically, the factors for a plant growing are the weather, the temperature, the soil and so on.(这点想得比我好~~学习下) So, not all kinds of plants can grow well in GTGC. There is the possibility that only carrots can live in the certain situation like this small town. Therefore, this policy can not contribute to the increase of the profits.
Finally, to support the author's idea, there should have been the suvey （survey）conducted in this small town whose result is that the citizen do not like the vegetables in supermarket either. And then, for a better reason, the writer need(加s) also(最好是also needs to show) show that the reason for the well sell of this magazine is that the citizens decided to grow vegetables. At last, it should also provide readers that the policy of expanding the kinds of vegetables do(does) help increase the profit.

文章整体不错，主要错误都找的很准，注意一下语法错误~~
小建议：对于每段的错误，希望再深化分析，比如你找出居民比较闲天天看杂志，然后再加上additionally，什么其他的原因(可能杂志上的其他无关于种菜的知识收到欢迎导致magazine受欢迎之类的)